Tenebrae

A couple of posts ago I was bewailing the fact that I didn't feel as if I was in Holy Week, as I hadn't had the opportunity to "prepare" myself for the spiritual onslaught.

Well, a friend had told me that Tenebrae was being celebrated at Corpus Christi church, Maiden Lane, London, and he suggested that I make the effort to attend. I have to confess that I wasn't really in the mood by the end of my working day. I was feeling washed out and headachy. However, after getting home, I thought about what Our Lord had suffered for us, and considered what sort of a sorry state I was in for the start of the Triduum...

...and so I got back in the car and drove in to central London. I arrived at Covent Garden with about five minutes to go before the service was due to start, and began praying to St. Joseph to find me a parking space. I dreaded getting lost in the one-way maze of backstreets, but suddenly turned a corner and found myself right next to Maiden Lane, and lo and behold, there was a parking space just in front of me. The parking restriction had finished half an hour previously, so I grabbed my mantilla and shot in to the church with a minute to spare!

And what a wonderful service it was. The church is quite small and intimate, but the acoustics are really good... the psalms and readings were chanted from the front, but some of the antiphons and responses were sung from a gallery at the back of the church: the music was spine-tinglingly good. I tried to record it on my phone, but without success.

It was certainly an experience I'd want to repeat: the mournful tones of the psalms, the role of Judas Iscariot in planning his betrayal, and the sense of impending doom really bring home the meaning of what is about to happen over the next few days...

I will try to put up a post about the morning's Chrism Mass tomorrow, but after that I shall be on private "retreat" for the Triduum.

Deo Gratias !

Auntie Joanna reports that the Chrism Mass "Thank You" Rally in support of the priests of Westminster Diocese went very well today... and joy of joys, the usual protest group calling for the ordination of women did not make an appearance!

Face it, hippies...

Quite A Challenge...

This is the first time, in my ten years' of teaching, that I will not be having an Easter "holiday." A couple of times I had to work during the first part of Holy Week, and twice before (maybe three times...) I've had to take Maundy Thursday off as unpaid leave so as to be able to attend the Chrism Mass at St. George's Cathedral, but the Triduum has always been part of my school holiday: usually the start, more often the middle. And the Easter Octave has been a joyous celebration, with the luxury of daily Mass.

This year my school has a "Spring Break". Most people still refer to it as the Easter holiday, which has led to some confusion: when I speak of Easter, I mean this coming weekend, whereas most of my colleagues mean the holiday which will occur two weeks later. The phrase "The coursework has to be marked by Easter" takes on a rather different meaning (and caused me to experience near-heart-failure!)

It means that this year I feel totally unprepared for the Triduum and Easter Sunday. Work is continuing apace, instead of slowing down for the holiday. I haven't been able to get myself "geared up" physically and mentally for the private retreat I usually make, and haven't even managed to draw up my timetable in preparation. Tomorrow I have a "twilight Inset" session (two hours after school listening to someone burble on about inconsequential items that would be better off put into a memo... and then shredded.) Wednesday sees an after-school staff meeting. More burbling... though this time it's departmental stuff, and so not a complete waste of time.

So no time to prepare myself. And I am out-of-sorts as a result: caught off-balance, wrong-footed... and I've realised that I don't like it one little bit.

I guess I've been spoiled...

Shroud Of Turin Damaged...

The Shroud of Turin, an ancient linen cloth believed to bear the image of Christ and considered by many clerics and devotees to be one of the holiest relics of the Christian faith, was inadvertently dyed a light shade of pink after being washed with a red T-shirt, sources reported Tuesday.

Check out the rest of this story over at The Onion. Mantilla-twitch to the Curt Jester.

A Landmark Event...

Cardinal Dario Castrillon Hoyos will become the first cardinal to celebrate Mass in the Extraordinary Form of the Roman Rite in Westminster Cathedral since the 1960s. The cardinal was invited to do so by the Latin Mass Society, for the High Mass after their Annual General Meeting.

Pontifical High Mass in the Cathedral - this is an event not to be missed!

Clarification...

I put up a post on the use of IVF to produce designer babies, and gave an example of deaf parents on the BBC's Moral Maze programme saying that they would like to be able to select a deaf child. I also said that I hadn't listened to the programme itself (it's bad for my blood pressure.)

Newhousenewjob obviously did follow the actual programme, and she explained in a comment on my post that the media had put a rather nasty spin on the whole affair. The comment deserves to get a wider airing:

The way this question has been presented in the media has muddied the waters on the real issue in the original report, which is that the Human Fertilisation and Embryology Bill as it stands contains a provision which would make it ILLEGAL for doctors to implant an embryo with any genetic defect.

A deaf couple reacted to this by saying, "What's wrong with being deaf that you can't be allowed to live?" and said that they would actually quite like a deaf child - and this was the bit that the media then manipulated.

Rather than being an issue about living embryos being killed because they didn't meet the government's definition of 'perfect', the row then turned to whether these deaf parents should have the right to say they would like a deaf child - conveniently ignoring the fact that originally they did not say (as I understand it) that they wanted specifically to be able to pick out a deaf embryo to keep, but that they didn't want any deaf embryo that might be created to be thrown away.

This Might Explain A Few Things...

You Are Garlic

Of all the spice types, you are the most universally loved. You get long with pretty much everyone, and you leave a lasting impression. You adapt yourself well to situations. You can fit in or stand out, depending on what you're called on to do.

What Spice Are You?

Not too sure about the "universally loved" bit...

Mantilla-twitch to Fr. Daren, the Servant and Steward (who's Basil !)

Designer Babies...?

John Smeaton gives a summary of this week's "Moral Maze" on Radio 4... I have to say that I have given up listening to this programme because it just makes me angry.

The question this week was whether or not the Human Fertilisation and Embryology Bill should allow deaf parents specifically to select for implantation those embryos which have been diagnosed as likely to be deaf.

The idea that children are commodities, to be chosen on the basis of their "desirable" characteristics (whatever those characteristics actually are) which make them acceptable "accessories" for their parents and/or siblings just goes to show how very far into the mire we, as a society, have sunk.

One Of Those Weeks...

I haven't been blogging as much as I'd like this week... life has sort of intervened... on top of my usual teaching load, I've had an "emergency" faculty meeting to discuss coursework issues, a rehearsal for the readers at the Confirmation Mass, another staff meeting, a Parents' evening, and, tonight, the Confirmation Mass itself... I feel as if I could sleep for a week. Unfortunately, tomorrow is a school day, so I have to get to bed before I turn into a pumpkin...

The Lines Have Been Drawn...

I mentioned before that Bishop Patrick O'Donogue was to be hauled up before the Education Select Committee because he was so unreasonable as to suggest that Catholic Schools might actually want to teach the Catholic Faith...

Another terribly unreasonable idea seems to be that Catholic Schools should not support charities which directly oppose the values of the Catholic Church. What !!!?? Is the Bishop actually suggesting that Catholic schoolchildren should not help to pay for abortions (through charity events such as Jeans for Genes Day) with their pocket-money?

You can read a fuller account over at John Smeaton's Blog. It seems the Bishop did well. John suggests that people might want to write to him to congratulate him on making a stand with his document Fit for Mission? Schools and also to show their support.

Address all letters to: Bishop’s Apartment, Cathedral House, Balmoral Road, Lancaster, LA1 3BT.

Homework...

I hate having to set homework... probably even more than the students for whom I set it...

I remember being given homework for the first time in Primary school... I think it was for my last year: I asked for some Maths questions, because they were fun, and I loved puzzles. I remember having to learn a list of spellings every so often, and doing some reading, but that was it.

Secondary school was a bit more like work: you had stuff to finish off (if you didn't manage to get it done in class) and sometimes the odd essay... and the French vocabulary stuff had to be learned... Even so, there wasn't that much of it. It increased for the 'O' and 'A' Levels, obviously, but not much up until then.

Now it seems that everyone has to have homework. Merely finishing off what was supposed to be done in class isn't sufficient. And to make sure that you don't get it all on one day, there has to be a homework timetable. Looking at the timetable, I'd say that your average Year 7 (11-12 years) has to study at home for an extra hour and a half, minimum. Monday to Friday. This is on top of the school day, where they may have had (in my school, at least) five hours' of lessons... (some days they may have had something like PE for one of the hours, but it could be five proper lessons in one day.) They will have been in school from about 8:30am to 3:30pm, with travel time on top of that for some of them, and then homework.

There is precious little time after that for much else. And the research seems to show that homework doesn't actually do much good, at least not for younger children. I've been saying that for years. With any luck, someone will see sense, and get rid of it...

...however, until that happens, the homework I set yesterday is still due in tomorrow, and don't tell me the cat ate it...

Oh, It Must Be Easter Again...

...How do I know this? Well, surprising though it may seem (not), the BBC is planning to screen a new drama, in Holy Week, about the last week of Jesus' life, in which Judas Iscariot, Caiaphas and Pontius Pilate are portrayed in a favourable light... As the Telegraph Online reports,

'Nigel Stafford-Clark, who produced the BBC1 series, said he wanted to put the characters' actions in context, "so you can see it from their point of view and realise that what they did felt legitimate." In an interview with the Radio Times, Mr Stafford-Clark said:"By such accounts as there are from the time, Caiaphas was reckoned to be a fair man and a good high priest. [He was] a man doing a very difficult job and doing it well." '

Another priceless quote from a spokesman at the Beeb, (an organisation which, as we know, is totally impartial towards Christian groups in general and Catholic ones in particular), had me rolling in the aisles...

"We are not seeking to subvert or rewrite the Gospel narrative – we are just retelling it to bring it alive for a contemporary audience."

Right... a traitor who betrays his friend and mentor for thirty pieces of silver, a priest who frames an innocent man on Blasphemy charges, and a corrupt politician who knowingly condemns an innocent man to death are the good guys in this non-subversive rewrite retelling.

How very contemporary.

We're Going To Have Weather!

We supposedly live in a temperate climate. The UK is surrounded by water. We have seasons. At the moment, the seasons do not appear to coincide with the calendar, but that's a minor point. My main point is that Winter is supposed to be wet, and cold, and windy. And it might occasionally snow. Summer is supposed to be hot... ok, warm, and mainly dry. Spring and Autumn are somewhere in between Winter and Summer, and rain is a distinct possibility...

Despite this variable weather pattern, we seem, as a nation, to be singularly bad at coping with whatever Mother Nature sends our way...

In Autumn, trains are delayed because there are leaves on the line. No... really? Leaves? You mean to say that they fall off the trees in Autumn?? How very odd...

In Winter, if you get more than 5mm of snow, the road system seems to suffer total paralysis. One evening, a couple of years ago, I parked outside the presbytery and went in for a meeting with Fr. Tim. I couldn't have been in for more than three-quarters of an hour. When I came out, it had started to snow... it took me nearly two hours to get home... a drive which normally takes all of 15 minutes.

Of course, the trains are then delayed (or even cancelled) because of frozen points, or electrical failures... or (and I am not making this up) the wrong type of snow on the lines. Bear in mind that I do not recall the temperature ever dropping to anything below -5 °C... we are not talking major freeze.

If it doesn't snow, then it rains. If it rains for more than three days on the trot, then the drains and sewers back up, and the rivers flood. It would appear that quite a lot of houses have been built on flood plains. So they get flooded out. This is not good for trains.

In Summer, we have drought warnings and hosepipe bans. Apparently all the water which falls as rain during Autumn, Winter and Spring is... you got it... the wrong type of rain. It falls too fast, and the water-table isn't being replenished. And in hot weather, the train rails buckle...

Ok, I hear you cry, why the rant? Simple! The whole of England is being put under a "severe" weather warning for tonight and tomorrow. We've been advised to stay indoors, not to drive unless it's absolutely necessary, and to avoid coastal areas.

I'll be interested to see whether the trains are running tomorrow...

Cat Poster !

A good friend sent this picture by email, and I decided to share, because it made me smile.

And Now It Begins...?

It was only a matter of time. The laws in the UK are becoming more and more antagonistic towards Catholics who actually take their faith seriously. With the Mental Capacity Act, living wills, SORs, the denial of conscientious objection for GPs and pharmacists in matters of contraceptive provision etc. etc., the writing has been on the wall for Catholics for some time. We assume that, sooner rather than later, Catholics will be put on trial for their beliefs, and the next step will be imprisonment.

The Government has steadily increased its control of education and has made its "Every Child Matters" programme compulsory, including all the guff about how being "safe" and "healthy" means that children should be given sex education as soon as possible, contraceptives so that they can put the theory into practice without any "nasty" consequences, and the morning-after pill and abortion on demand when some of those consequences materialise.

Funny how, despite sex education being pretty explicit when I was at comprehensive school nearly three decades ago, and contraception being widely available (and free if obtained through a family planning clinic), The UK has the highest teenage pregnancy rate in Europe. If I didn't know better, I'd say that all that sex education and contraceptive advice didn't actually work. But, of course, it must work, because the Government's answer to the rising teenage pregnancy rate is to have more sex education and more contraceptive advice. There wouldn't be any point in having more of something that was proven not to work, would there?

Anyway, Bishop O'Donoghue dared to produce a document for use in Catholic Schools which demanded that those schools promote Catholicism. Doesn't sound too unreasonable, does it? For Catholic schools to teach Catholicism? It's why they were built in the first place, using money from the collections taken in Catholic parishes... And they're still funded, in part, by the Church... But no, the idea that a Catholic school should promote Catholic ideas is unacceptable to our Government. All schools must promote the Government's ideas...

It seems that Bishop O'Donoghue is to pay for making such unreasonable demands. After sticking his head above the parapet, he has been asked to appear before the Commons select committee for Education, Wednesday 12th March, to defend his document "Fit for Mission for Schools."

Twitch of the mantilla to Fr. Paul Harrison, who asks that we pray for Bishop O'Donoghue.

Chrism Mass at St. George's Cathedral...

...it has become traditional (well, it's happened every year for the five years since the institution of this gathering!) for those who were cheering for the priests as they processed in to the Chrism Mass to make their way down to a local pub for lunch once the Mass is finished.

Fr. Tim usually joins us, along with a few of his like-minded brethren who feel that curling cheese sandwiches and sausages on a stick from the Cathedral buffet are just not substantial enough to see them through the evening festivities... no doubt they don't fancy sandwiches which will remind them of the feet they will be washing later!

If any bloggers are in the vicinity, feel free to join us: we'll be in the Three Stags pub, on the corner of Kennington Road and Lambeth Road, starting around 1:15pm

Feelings Of Indignation !

The final hymn at Mass this morning propelled me into an apoplectic rage. God of mercy and compassion used to be a hymn I quite liked. It was never a favourite, as such, but it has a simple melody, and the sentiments are suitably penitential...

At least, they used to be suitably penitential, until the pc-crowd got hold of it and put in alternative words...

Now, the chorus used to run as follows:

Jesus, Lord, I ask for mercy,
let me not implore in vain;
all my sins I now detest them,
never will I sin again.

Fine and dandy, you might think. It doesn't appear controversial, does it? No non-inclusive language to be mucked around with... So surely they wouldn't feel the need to change any of the words? Wrong !

You see, this chorus is rather negative in tone. It might just make people feel uncomfortable. I mean, it's bad enough that we have to acknowledge that we've been a bit naughty... and hey, we will even use the "s" word... but we're not such bad people really, and Jesus just has to be merciful and forgive us, doesn't he? Because otherwise we might actually have to consider the possibility that our sins can send us to the other place. You know, the one we don't talk about... and like to consider as empty... despite several references by JC himself to its many inhabitants!! So, let's smooth things over and make the language a little less offensive...

Jesus, Lord, I ask for mercy,
knowing it is not in vain;
all my sins I now detest them,
help me not to sin again.

God is certainly merciful... and we can run to his Sacred Heart and implore his forgiveness. If we are truly sorry, he will forgive us. But we cannot presume to be forgiven. We only know it for certain through the absolution given in the Sacrament of Confession... and we cannot safely assume that we will have either true contrition or the opportunity to get to Confession...

The Owl Returns...

The Owl of the Remove has returned to regular blogging with an entertaining post on Monsignor 'the enforcer' Marini's recent visit to the US. So I guess that stealth priestesses, liturgical prancers and tie-dye vestments won't feature much...

Someone's Been Watching My Cat...

Whoever made this animation really knows cats far too well. After demonstrating how a cat can wake up its owner in the morning, we now get to see a cat trying to get inside the house after a night on the tiles...


Sylvester's a cat who likes his creature comforts... he rarely stays out all night, scooting back in at around 3am. How can I be so sure? Well, if it's been raining, he jumps on my sleeping form and tries to insinuate his cold wet furry body under my chin, miaowing loudly until I get up and dry him off with an old towel. And when I glance, bleary-eyed, at the clock, it's usually around 3am.

Twitch of the mantilla to Hilary for this latest cat-related video!

The Cards Have Arrived...

Woohoo! Finally, despite all my misgivings, I have the cards in my sweaty little paws, two weeks before Easter. I must confess to feeling rather pleased with the final result!

Not A Blonde Joke... (Probably)

...but it made me laugh out loud! Elizabeth sent it as a comment, but it's far too good to leave languishing in the combox...

A 54 year old woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital. While on the operating table she had a near death experience. Seeing God she asked 'Is my time up?' God said, 'No, you have another 43 years, 2 months and 8 days to live.'

Upon recovery, the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a face-lift, liposuction, breast implants and a tummy tuck. She even had someone come in and change her hair colour and brighten her teeth! Since she had so much more time to live, she figured she might as well make the most of it.

After her last operation, she was released from the hospital looking drop-dead gorgeous. When she crossed the street on her way home, she was run over and killed by an ambulance.

Arriving in front of God, she demanded, 'I thought you said I had another 43 years? Why didn't you pull me from out of the path of the ambulance?'

God replied: 'I didn't recognize you.'

Oh Me Of Little Faith...

I grabbed a spare five minutes at school today to phone the company printing my Chrism Mass Thank-You cards. The woman I spoke to was incredibly vague: the cards had gone to print earlier in the week, but she wasn't sure when they'd be ready, and Royal Mail were a bit unreliable, they couldn't guarantee delivery before the end of next week... but of course, if I wanted to upgrade to courier service, for a small extra fee...?

I got a little cross. Just a little. I explained that no, I didn't want to pay extra for a courier service. I just wanted to know exactly when the cards would be ready. I then had to bring the conversation to an abrupt halt as I had a lesson to go and teach. I think the sales person must have gathered this, as I was in the corridor on my mobile phone by this point... and school corridors are not the quietest of places at the end of break.

I rang again at the end of the day. Things were still pretty manic, as the GCSE and A level module results had arrived, and students who couldn't wait to find out their grades until their next Science lesson were coming in to the office to ask what they'd got. I spoke to the same young woman. She informed me that, on further investigation, the package had been delivered this morning. At 10am. Only, (and this was definitely my fault) I wasn't in to receive it... and I should have gotten the delivery note.

I bit back a rude retort, and patiently explained that I hadn't actually managed to get home from work yet...

At least I should get the cards tomorrow!

Chrism Mass Demo Time

Each year, I promise myself that I will be better organised for the Chrism Mass. And each year, something happens to catch me on the hop. Last year there was a bit of a kerfuffle over the placards for the "Thank You" parade (it doesn't sound quite right to call it a demo!)

This year, I was determined to get a move on. Last year's card was a great success, and I was determined that standards should be maintained. And so I started to hunt for a suitable quote and an equally suitable picture nice and early - in fact, I started to look pretty much at the beginning of February. This search was, I felt, rewarded: I found an absolutely perfect quote from the Holy Father when he addressed seminarians in Rome, and there was even a picture to match...

Unfortunately, Lent this year actually started in the first week of February... and Lent is not as long as it appears!! This means that the nice, cosy feeling I had on getting everything sorted so "early" is rapidly changing to mild twinges of anxiety because I haven't had the cards delivered yet...

I doubt that we can get placards made up in time, so I guess it'll be another DIY job for them (though I won't leave it until the night before!) And I need to get on the phone to see if I can rustle up a few young women to cheer for the priests as they process in for Mass. If you happen to be in the area on Thursday 20th March, 2008, we will be outside St. George's Cathedral from 10:45am - the Mass starts at 11:15am - and you would be most welcome to join us. Put a comment in the combox if you need any more details.

The idea of thanking our priests at the Chrism Mass does seem to be catching on... Joanna Bogle has told me that there is going to be a similar "Thank You" parade at the Chrism Mass at Arundel & Brighton diocese on Tuesday 18th March, and another one at Westminster Cathedral's Chrism Mass on Wednesday 19th March.

I've Been A Bit Busy, But While You're Waiting...

I found the following video. Not quite sure about throwing the cat up so it catches the overhead wooden beam, but watching the cat on the cactus was priceless! Enjoy!

New Hope For Sufferers Of Laetare Intolerance...

According to Jeff, the Curt Jester, Laetare Intolerance is a gastrointestinal disorder brought on by the sight of apparently "pink" vestments. Help is at hand, in the form of "Vestmints" - these help to alleviate queasy sensations at the sight of anything even slightly redolent of Pepto-Bismol.

Confirmation that you really do suffer from Laetare Intolerance is best obtained from a doctor: all he needs to aid the diagnosis is a stole sample. See HERE for dosage instructions and contraindications...

An Intriguing Development...

...I noticed, over on Paddy Power, that Fr. Tim Finigan has entered the field for the Westminster Sweepstakes...

...and this late runner has pipped Cardinal Pell, entering in at 10-1.

Sorry as we in Blackfen would be to lose him, (and recalling a comment a while back on Fr. Z's blog about the appearance of the words "Mene, mene, tekel and parsin" on every episcopal dining-room wall), I think that "Timothy Cardinal Finigan" has a certain ring to it...

Catholic Blog Awards

Nominations for the Catholic Blog Awards have now closed. I was delighted to see that I scraped a nomination... last year I got five votes... maybe this year I can improve on this...

...though I'm not holding my breath as I merited only one mention out of the 50 pages of nominations...

But voting starts on Monday... or possibly on March 4th, which is actually Tuesday (looks as if someone forgot it was a leap year!)

The Latest Olympic Sport...

...is that of "spin-doctoring." Aided and abetted by the Western news agencies, (the BBC, the Guardian and Reuters are just three examples) the Chinese Communist regime is trying to smooth out any adverse publicity ahead of the Olympic Games by suggesting that they might scrap, or at least significantly relax, the one-child, forced-abortion population control policy.

You can read more about it on John Smeaton's blog. For those of you who don't already know, John is the Director of SPUC. His blog is an excellent source of news on the pro-life front.

What The Papers Say...

...seems to be whatever was on last week's blogosphere!

The intrepid Fr. Z has left Blighty, but before he went, the Catholic Herald managed to get an interview. Fr. Ray Blake claims the credit for this... on the basis that Fr. Z was in Fr. Ray's presbytery having breakfast at the time the interview was arranged... Reading the article, I gather that the interview itself occurred during Fr. Z's sojourn in Oxford. The man certainly covers some serious territory.

The story of how he converted to Catholicism makes for interesting reading. I can vouch for the fact that, as well as writing an excellent and entertaining blog, Fr. Z is entertaining and witty in "real life," and a thoroughly nice chap too.

I didn't think much of the photo taken by the Herald, and so have used the one I took on his visit last year... Fr. Z and Fr. T having coffee.

HFE Bill...

The relentless progress of this Bill strikes me as nothing less than diabolical. I received an email earlier today from a priest who suggested that every priest in the country should offer a Mass for its defeat.

There is more information to be found on the England & Wales website.
I would extend that: as many Catholics as possible should ask for a Mass Intention to be said for the defeat the Human Fertilisation & Embryology Bill.

Time to do some serious storming of the pearly gates.

A Little Light Relief...

...I've just finished writing reports for my Year 8 class. As I am in need of a little light relief at the end of that lot, I thought I would put up the following pics because they made me smile...

First up, this is a blonde's speedometer...

And now we have a demonstration of the best way to set up a car showroom if you wish to attract the blonde consumer...

The Art Of Taking Minutes...

I see that there is a current kerfuffle about the release of the Cabinet minutes from the meetings where the Cabinet discussed going to war with Iraq. Whatever was said, I doubt that there will be much to be gained from reading the minutes. Civil Servants have perfected the art of minute-taking, as Sir Humphrey Appleby, that apparently omniscient Whitehall mandarin, explains HERE.

(I can't put up the whole video clip, because it's been disabled by the BBC, but trust me, it's worth going to watch it!!)

Busy...

The problem with mock exams is that some poor soul has to sit down and mark the papers. I have two Year 9 classes. One class has 30 children. Fortunately, the other class, being a much lower ability set, is considerably smaller: only 21 children.

Each student sat two Science papers.

Each paper has about 32 pages - A4 size, by the way.

I need to apply rather a lot of red ink to those pages. Blogging may be a little light for the next day or two...

Eurovision 2008

Ireland has decided to register its disdain for the whole Eurovision thing by entering a puppet turkey to sing its 2008 entry, "Irlande douze points." I watched it just to see what the fuss was about - after all, The Muppet Show was quite cute, and they had some fabulous numbers...

Unfortunately, the turkey in question is not the lovable type one might find alongside Kermit and Miss Piggy. Dustin the turkey is rather repulsive, burping and passing wind... obviously Ireland have decided that there is no chance of them winning this year! I'm not really keen to put up the video, but you can follow the link...

*sigh* ...Come back, Riverdance, all is forgiven...

Anyway, in the meantime, this is my kind of puppet show...

More On Holy Water...

A few posts back, I wrote about the preparation of real Holy Water, the top-of-the-range, hardcore, send-devils-screaming-out-of-the-room stuff. The stuff, in other words, to which St. Teresa of Avila referred when she wrote:

"From long experience I have learned that there is nothing like holy water to put devils to flight and prevent them from coming back again. They also flee from the cross, but return; so holy water must have great value. For my own part, whenever I take it, my soul feels a particular and most notable consolation. In fact, it is quite usual for me to be conscious of a refreshment which I cannot possibly describe, resembling an inward joy which comforts my whole soul. This is not fancy, or something which has happened to me only once it has happened again and again and I have observed it most attentively. It is let us say, as if someone very hot and thirsty were to drink from a jug of cold water: he would feel the refreshment throughout his body. I often reflect on the great importance of everything ordained by the Church and it makes me very happy to find that those words of the Church are so powerful that they impart their power to the water and make it so very different from water which has not been blessed."

After Mass today, a woman asked for some Holy Water, and handed over a massive bottle. I looked in the jar, and realised that we would be just about cleaned out of holy water... so, not being the type to look a gift-horse in the mouth, happily filled the bottle right to the top, and then mentioned to Fr. Tim that his services would be required in order to replenish our sadly depleted stock...

...fortunately, I had my little camera to hand...

First of all the salt, then the water are exorcised. I found a translation of the prayers on the net (along with the original Latin), and they certainly pull no punches... I'm not sure how accurate the translation is, but I suspect that it's fine...

V. Our help is in the name of the Lord.
R. Who made heaven and earth.

Exorcism of Salt
O salt, creature of God, I exorcise you by the living God, by the true God, by the holy God, by the God who ordered you to be poured into the water by Eliseus the Prophet so that its life-giving powers might be restored. I exorcise you so that you may become a means of salvation for believers, that you may bring health of soul and body to all who make use of you, arid that you may put to flight and drive away from the places where you are sprinkled every apparition, villainy, and turn of devilish deceit, and every unclean spirit, adjured by Him Who will come to judge the living and the dead and the world by fire. Amen.

Let us pray.
Almighty and everlasting God, we humbly implore Thee, in Thy immeasurable kindness and love, to bless + and sanctify + this salt which Thou did create and give over to the use of mankind, so that it may become a source of health for the minds and bodies of all who make use of it, and may rid whatever it touches or sprinkles of all uncleanness and protect it from every assault of evil spirits. Through our Lord, Jesus Christ, Thy Son, Who lives and reigns with Thee in the unity of the Holy Spirit, God, for ever and ever.
R. Amen.

Exorcism of Water
O water, creature of God, I exorcise you in the name of God the Father almighty, and in the name of Jesus Christ His Son, our Lord, and in the power of the Holy Spirit. I exorcise you so that you may put to flight all the power of the Enemy, and be able to root out and supplant that Enemy with his apostate angels: through the power of our Lord Jesus Christ, Who will come to judge the living and the dead and the world by fire. Amen.

Let us pray.
O God, Who for the salvation of mankind has built Thy greatest mysteries on this substance, water, in Thy kindness hear our prayers and pour down the power of Thy blessing + into this element, made ready for many kinds of purifications. May this, Thy creature, become an agent of divine grace in the service of Thy mysteries, to drive away evil spirits and dispel sickness, so that every- thing in the homes and other buildings of the faithful that is sprinkled with this water may be rid of all uncleanness and freed from every harm. Let no breath of infection, no disease-bearing air, remain in these places. May the wiles of the lurking Enemy prove of no avail. Let whatever might menace the safety and peace of those who live here be put to flight by the sprinkling of this water, so that the healthfulness, obtained by calling upon Thy holy name, may be made secure against all attack. Through our Lord Jesus Christ, Thy Son, Who lives and reigns with Thee in the unity of the Holy Spirit, God, for ever and ever.
R. Amen.

The priest mixes a little salt into the water.
May a mixture of salt and water now be made in the name of the + Father, and of the + Son, and of the Holy + Spirit.
R. Amen.

V. The Lord be with you.
R. And with your spirit.

Let Us Pray.
O God, Creator unconquerable, invincible King, Victor ever-glorious, Who did hold in check the forces bent on dominating us, Who did overcome the cruelty of the raging enemy, Who did in Thy power beat down the wicked foe:

Humbly and fearfully do we pray to Thee, O Lord, and we ask Thee to look with favour on this salt and water which Thou has created. Shine on it with the light of Thy kindness. Sanctify it by the dew of Thy love, so that, through the invocation of Thy holy name, wherever this water and salt is sprinkled it may turn aside every attack of the unclean spirit and dispel the terror of the poisonous serpent. And wherever we may be, make the Holy Spirit present to us who now implore Thy mercy. Through our Lord Jesus Christ, Thy Son, Who lives and reigns with Thee in the unity of the Holy Spirit, God, forever and ever.
R. Amen.

This is a better picture... unfortunately there was quite a lot of light coming into the sacristy from the back, and it was difficult to get a really good shot because of the pillar in the middle.

And here you see the salt and water being mixed...

Et voilà... proper Holy Water!

Refurbished Lady Chapel

The great thing about half term is that it gives me a little time to catch up with old friends. I went for a very enjoyable lunch with Fr. Richard Whinder this afternoon. Fr. Whinder went through a phase on the blogosphere when, although neither writing a blog nor commenting on other people's blogs, he got pretty wide coverage. He doesn't want that coverage to recur, but he did consent to being photographed in the recently refurbished Lady Chapel in the parish church of St. Joseph's, New Malden, where he is Assistant Priest.

I took some pictures on my last visit, but had an attack of the blondes and pressed the wrong button or something, so didn't manage to show the chapel as it was a year ago. However, I didn't make the same mistake this time.

The arch around Our Lady is a mosaic of the rosary, with five decades shown. The crown was made for the statue in the 1950s, I think, and the sanctuary lamps are new. It's fabulous to see that churches are being made to look beautiful for the worship of God and the veneration of the saints.

Westminster Sweepstakes Round Two...

Methinks Ttony spends far too much time checking out Paddy Power's website... Be that as it may, he helpfully informs us that their book on the next Cardinal Archbishop of Westminster has been re-opened. You can check it out HERE. Archbishop Vincent Nichols is top of the list at 2-1, and Cardinal Pell's odds have lengthened to 12-1, joint with Fr. Aidan Nichols, Bishop Arthur Roche and Bishop Peter Smith. Paddy Power obviously have not been keeping up with the blogosphere, or Fr. Nichols' odds might be quite a bit shorter... though I see that Dom Hugh Gilbert has snuck in at number 2 with odds of 4-1...

No sign of Fathers Blake or Finigan...

Insider Information...

The Pastor in Valle has put up a very interesting post on the relative merits of e-petitions and letters to MPs. His source is a retired senior civil servant. I wonder if he bears any resemblance to Sir Humphrey Appleby?

Fun & Games...

There's never a dull moment at Blackfen. I arrived at church early this evening for Benediction, and found that there was a group in the hall being put through their paces by Matt Harris (he dances with the England Ballroom team.)

After dancing the first part of the evening away, several of the servers decided to stay on for the Rosary and Benediction. On hearing my comment about their relative heights, the boys decided to arrange themselves accordingly and demanded that I take their picture...


...and then they wanted another one of them looking "cool"...

Blessing & Consecration

I always used to think that Holy Water was just vaguely "blessed" by the priest, in much the same way that you sometimes get a sign of the cross "waved" in the general direction of a rosary presented for blessing. And so I didn't quite understand the distinction between Holy Water found in water stoups in the church and holy water obtained from a place like Lourdes.

I was delighted to discover that actually there is a whole lot more to Holy Water... there's the salt for a start. And the salt has to be exorcised through prayer. I think the water has to be exorcised too... and then the two are brought together, and more prayers are said. Candles feature too. Next time I spot that some more Holy Water is being prepared, I shall try to get photos...

I see that Fr. Z has a post on the consecration of the sacred vessels for their use at Mass, and also how the Sacred Species (and anything which comes into contact with them) must be disposed of. He describes an amusing hypothetical scenario involving a mouse which dared to run off with a consecrated Host, and the disposal of the cat sent in pursuit of the mouse... Yes, it was only hypothetical!

The rest of the post is very good, and well worth a read if you are interested in how things ought to be done for the Liturgy.

Saints Meme

I found this over at La Mamma's place, and decided that I really wanted to play too, under the "anyone else who reads this" proviso!

The rules for this one (it's pretty laid back, as memes go...)
1. Answer the questions! You can give a reason for the answer if you like.
2. As for tagging people, you tag as many as you want or as little...minimum of one. There's no obligation to play.
3. Last of all, have fun!

1. First Saint you "met"?
When I returned to the Church, I had a very "Protestant" view of Our Lady and the saints, basically due to my post-Vatican II catechesis. I reluctantly accepted that Our Lady was worth petitioning on account of no nice Jewish boy doesn't listen to his mother. But the first saint I really "met" was St. Jude. After an unfinished and half-hearted novena, he fixed the NHS waiting list for me. You can read more about it (and him) in a previous post.

2. Favourite Saint(s)?
Our Lady goes without saying, though I do have my favourite titles for her. More about them some other time. And then I have a particular affection for and devotion to St. Jude (especially when desperate, or driving), St. Anne Line, St. Joseph (especially when tracking down a parking space), St. Bernadette, St. Teresa of Avila, St. Philomena, St. Anthony of Padua, St. Mary Magdalene (she got a very bad press because of the Da Vinci Code, but it was hardly her fault!), St. Martha, St. John Fisher, St. Thomas More, St. Francis de Sales, St. Alphonsus Liguori, St. Louis-Marie Grignion de Montfort, St. John Vianney, St. Irenaeus, St. Peter, St. Josémaria, St. Maximilian Kolbe, St. Cecilia, St. Juan Diego Cuahtlatoatzin...

3. Patron saint for the year?
I was allocated St. Peter Chrysologus, and to my shame I haven't really bothered to look into him much (yet.)

4. Favourite book by a saint?
Aaarghhh. Difficult choice. True Devotion to Mary by St. Louis-Marie Grignion de Montfort probably comes out tops, with The Glories of Mary by St. Alphonsus coming in a close second and Introduction to the Devout Life by St. Francis de Sales squeaking in third.

5. Saint book you are reading now?
I'm using the Introduction to the Devout Life as an aid to meditation, though I'm not actually reading it at the moment. And I have a few other books on the go at the moment...

6. Favourite film of a saint?
I have two, but I'm not really cheating: Bernadette, by Jean Delannoy, starring Sydney Penny, and The Passion of Bernadette, also by Jean Delannoy (it's really a continuation of the story!)

7. Favourite Autobiography/Biography of a saint?
Bernadette of Lourdes by Réné Laurentin.

8. Favourite novel/book by a saint?
Already answered in Question 4.

9. Saint (besides your favourites) you'd want to meet?
I think I'd want to meet St. Thérèse of Lisieux. I've had real problems with her autobiography, Story of a Soul, as it too cloyingly sweet for my taste. St. Bernadette was rather more ascerbic, I think, and much more to my liking. However, if I met St. Thérèse in person, I might understand her better, and so develop a devotion to her...

10. Saint you look to for help?
All of them, at different times, according to specific circumstances.

11.Favourite saint quote?
"My Lords, I am accused of harbouring a Catholic priest. So far am I from repenting that I would I could have harboured a thousand." (St. Anne Line, on the scaffold, 1601)

12. Favourite Holy Card?
Ummmm... no, sorry, don't have one. I like most of them.

13. Favourite story of a saint?
Lots... but if I had to pin it down...
St. Teresa of Avila was travelling to various convents to sort them out. On one such journey, in really foul weather, the wheel of the cart broke off, tipping everything into the mud. St. Teresa remonstrated with Our Lord. "Lord," she said, "Why do you have to make life so difficult?" Jesus replied, "Teresa, this is how I treat my friends." "Yes, Lord," she retorted, "That's why you have so few of them."

14. If you could go anywhere on a pilgrimage to a saint's homeland, where would it be?
I already visit Lourdes (St. Bernadette's home.) I suppose if I had the chance to go anywhere, it would have to be the Holy Land, as several of my favourites are there: St. Jude, St. Martha, St. Mary Magdalene, St. Joseph, St. Peter...

15. Any Blesseds or Venerables that you would like to become canonized?
Venerable Luiz de Granada (he wrote The Sinner's Guide, and was a favourite of St. Teresa of Avila.)

And now I tag Mark, Ma Beck, Tomas, Jay, Joanna (if she's not too busy to play), Joe, Esther and Rita.

More On The Fire Extinguisher Front...

After the fun and games in Blackfen, I found another "fire extinguisher" story...

...apparently, a German man objected to his girlfriend lighting up in their flat, and decided to take drastic action to make his point absolutely clear...

They have now split up. Well, there's a surprise!

Quiet News Day...

I'm on my half-term break, which means that I have lots of time to blog, but very little in the way of news to blog about... so, in time-honoured fashion, I thought a little visual humour might be in order...

Voting On The Human Fertilisation & Embryology Bill

On many subjects, MPs are expected to support their Parties' policies. This is known as "the Whip," I think... anyway, some topics have traditionally not been whipped, but MPs are allowed to vote according to their consciences. When the 1990 Human Fertilisation and Embryology Bill was considered by Parliament the (then) government allowed free votes on all matters up until the final vote.

The joint committee on the draft Human Tissues and Embryos bill recommended that this approach be adopted for questions over embryology and the role of fathers, but the Brown government has said that free votes will only be allowed on abortion.

There is an e-petition going to Downing Street to ask that the votes on the Human Fertilisation & Embryology Bill, at least the clauses concerned with embryology and the role of fathers, are free.

If you are a British Citizen or resident you can sign the petition HERE.

Not That I'm That Interested, But...

The candidates for American President seem to be as bad as each other. And it's hard to get worked up over an election which won't happen until next November... and in another country... However, when I saw this photo, I just couldn't resist!

Mantilla-twitch to Jay3gsm.

Lourdes

It's that time of year again... I'm organising the parish pilgrimage to Lourdes, which will be at the end of May. We will be there for the Feast of the Visitation, which, I suspect, will be quite an event during this 150th Anniversary Year.

Because of the Anniversary, we had to get things moving much earlier than last year. Fr. Tim announced the pilgrimage at the Masses one Sunday, and then left it at that. We had a really strict limit on the number of rooms the hotel could give us, and it was a case of first come (with firm name and address) first served. Needless to say, all the places were snapped up pretty quickly.

And it'll be a real family affair this year: there are 22 adults and 11 children. I've just sent out the details of flights to each of the pilgrims, and booked the coaches to and from the airports, and sent the final details to the hotel. I can't sort out the itinerary just yet, as the Shrine authorities don't look at the small group bookings until April, after they've allocated chapels and other things to the large diocesan pilgrimages.

I'm getting excited already! I wonder if I should invest in a snazzy camera?

I Liked This One...

...so I thought I'd share!

50 Years Young...

The extra-tall South Ashford Priest celebrated making his first half-century with a party in his parish. It was a great evening, with live music accompanying the barn dancing. I managed to get a few photos, but the "official" photographer kept wandering in front of me just as I was about to take a shot (that's my excuse, and I'm sticking to it!)

The photo on the left shows Fr. John reading through his birthday card, signed by all the parishioners (I never did find out if it was literally all his parishioners, or all the parishioners present at the party.)

There were a few family and friends, but the majority of the people present were parishioners, and one person came up to me and started to tell me how very much Fr. John is appreciated in South Ashford, and what great work he is doing in building up the parish. (I know Fr. John will be too modest to admit that's what his parishioners think of him, so I thought I better do it for him!) And in his speech, Fr. John explained quite movingly how a priest's parish is his family.

Fr. Tim has posted a few pictures from the event, and Fr. John has put up a video show of the photos taken by one of his parishioners.

More Gremlins...

Hmmphhhh! My mobile phone wouldn't connect to my computer. Microsoft Outlook was having a fit of the sulks, and wanted to be made the default email client. I suspect that this was the cause of yesterday's problems as well.

Too bad. I like Mozilla Thunderbird. But I cheated... I agreed to make Outlook the default mail client, got the connection working again... and then sneakily went and changed it back to Thunderbird...

You Say "Global Warming" Like It's A Bad Thing...

This was the sight which greeted me on my way home from Benediction this lunchtime.

Yes, we're half-way through February.

The sunshine is glorious. It is a little on the nippy side though!

Prayers Needed For Algerian Christians

Middle East Concern reports that Father Pierre Wallez, sentenced to a year's imprisonment for praying with Christians in Cameroon, is the first victim of legislation approved in March 2006. The legislation prohibits anyone from leading a religious ceremony anywhere without permission from the government in Algeria.

Algerian Archbishop Henri Teissier told Vatican Radio: "the most surprising thing is that the conviction was issued simply because the priest visited a group of Christians in Cameroon. He had not celebrated Mass, but was only joining them in a prayer. It was December 29, a little after Christmas." A tribunal has now modified the sentence to parole. But Christians in Algeria are concerned that their religious freedom is under threat.

In recent months Christians in Algeria have faced increasing harassment and a hostile campaign in the media. In the same trial that sentenced Fr. Wallez, a Muslim doctor was sentenced to two years' imprisonment for using medications supplied by the Catholic Church's charity, Caritas.

Middle East Concern say that Algerian Christians have requested readers' prayers.

Mantilla-twitch to Fr. Justin.

Good News On The Education Front...

...in North Carolina, at least. Belmont Abbey College noticed that their Health Insurance plan covered services such as contraception, voluntary sterilisation and abortion. The College decided that this was unacceptable, and have had such provision removed.

President William Thierfelder said, “As a Roman Catholic institution, Belmont Abbey College is not able to and will not offer nor subsidize medical services that contradict the clear teaching of the Catholic Church. There was no other course of action possible if we were to operate in fidelity to our mission and to our identity as a Catholic college.”

Wow. A Catholic institution which believes in being faithful to the teachings of the Church...

Mantilla twitched in the direction of the great Curt Jester.

Catholic Blog Alert !

It's time to reward your favourite Catholic blogs. Nominations are being taken for the 2008 awards: if registered last year, your user name and password are still the same. If you didn't register, you'll need to do so, but it's easy and free.

Pretty please...

Blonde Joke (Yes, Another One!!)

Quick Question...

...at the end of week 1. I hope that you're not finding the penances too trying... and remember, if you do slip up, well, just start again: there's plenty more days left to go!

Bugs

I arrived home keen to check email and blogs, in that order. I tried to access my email. The computer told me that I'd have to set up an email account...

What the... I tried not to panic. I resisted the urge to throw the computer out of the window. I checked that my internet connection was working. All ok. So what had happened to the email?

I couldn't find it anywhere. I knew that I must have a file somewhere, because I save mail in local folders on my computer, but where exactly? With Windows 95, every file turned up, and you could see the root. On XP, all the "annoying" computer-ish stuff is tidied away carefully, so you often only get to see the file names. Doing a search didn't produce anything.

I decided to set my email account back up again, and worry about the old stuff later. And then I had a brainwave, and looked up the location of the "new" mail folders. Aha. Bingo. The old folders were in a folder next to the new ones. Obvious, innit? It only took me an hour to figure out.

Why? No idea. The computer was working fine last night when I switched it off. I must have gremlins...

Why Humanae Vitae Was Right...

John Smeaton gives a very good account explaining why the use of contraception has led to an increase in abortion: it's a speech he gave at the World Congress of Families in Warsaw last May.

He also has a link to resources published by Professor Janet Smith, author of Humanae Vitae: A Generation Later. She will be speaking at Westminster Cathedral Hall on March 6th, 2008.