Our Lady Of The Snows...

I parked in the church car park before Mass this evening. It was cold, but the sky was fairly clear; No snow on the ground at all. There had been warnings of heavy snow due overnight, but this is Britain, so that could just have meant an inch of snow...

I left the church about half an hour after Mass, and this was the sight which greeted me.

Despite the roads having been gritted, enough ice had formed for me to go into a skid as I drove downhill, and I crashed into the kerb. Luckily, I had slowed down to about 5 mph, and there wasn't a parked car next to the kerb (or a pedestrian) so no real problem (apart from a bit of a fright.)

My Guardian Angel is probably on overtime...

What Are The Odds On That?

I definitely am not claiming any inside knowledge on this one. And I would hate to start off any irresponsible rumours, but...

What are the odds that the rapprochement with the SSPX has been sorted so rapidly in order to allow Pope Benedict to parachute in Bishop Fellay as the next Archbishop of Westminster?

Do you think Paddy Power would be willing to play ball?

Heheheheheh...

A Non-Blonde Joke...

This one was sent to me by a friend of mine, who shall remain nameless... (that way he can't take the credit!)

A golfer was in a very competitive match with a friend, who was ahead by a couple of strokes.

The golfer said to himself, "I'd give anything to sink this next putt."

Suddenly, a stranger walked up to him and whispered, "Would you give up a fourth of your sex life?"

The golfer reflected that the man was crazy and that his answer would be meaningless, but also that perhaps this was a good omen and it would put him in the right frame of mind to make the difficult putt, so he agreed. To his delight, he sinks the putt.

Two holes later he mumbled to himself, "Boy, if I could only get an eagle on this hole."

The same stranger moves to his side and whispered, "Would it be worth another fourth of your sex life?"

The golfer shrugged and said, "Sure." To his surprise, he got an eagle.

At the final hole, the golfer needed yet another eagle to win the game.

Though he said nothing, the stranger moved to his side and asked once more, "Would you be willing to give up the rest of your sex life to win this match?"

The golfer agreed once more, and went on to get his eagle.

As the golfer walked to the club house, the stranger walked alongside. "You know," he said, "I've really not been fair with you because you don't know who I am. I'm actually the devil, and from now on you will have no sex life."

"Nice to meet you," said the golfer. "My name's Father O'Malley."

I Am Loved...!

Despite the recent paucity of posts, or possibly because of it, Phil has taken pity on me, and has given me an award. It goes by the rather dubious name of "Lovey Award" - a phrase I associate with actors and their ilk - but the award actually says:

"These blogs are exceedingly charming. These kind bloggers aim to find and be friends. They are not interested in self-aggrandizement. Our hope is that when the ribbons of these prizes are cut, even more friendships are propagated. Please give more attention to these writers. Deliver this award to eight bloggers who must choose eight more and include this cleverly-written text into the body of their award."

The difficulty is finding bloggers who haven't already received this one, especially as so many people have given out more than eight. I'm tempted to say "feel free to consider yourself given this" apart from the fact that no-one would want to seem to award it to themselves...

I will, however, make a valiant stab at passing it on. In no particular order, I'm passing the Lovey Award to...

Karen, the Gem of the Ocean, because we are so spookily similar (or so she says!)

Leutgeb, of Bara Brith (She loves the Holy Father and music, dislikes the BBC and is a teacher. She also bakes cakes. What more reason do you need?)

The Pastor in Valle at Valle Adurni, a nice surprise for when he gets back from holiday.

The Owl of the Remove, to show that I've forgiven him for not alerting me to his visit to Blighty (though I would probably have been too ill to meet up. But that's not the point!)

Newhousenewjob who's Just Doing My Best, and who possibly needs cheering up.

Fiorella, of the Monstrous Regiment of Women, because she's recovering from Woman flu (I refuse, on principle, to accept the term "person flu.")

Ukok, over at Ukok's Place, because she's having a difficult time, but is happy to share.

Fr. Dwight Longenecker, who's Standing on My Head, just because I want to...

I've Been A Baaaaad Girl...

...I haven't posted anything for the past few days. I haven't even read many blogs...

I have been completely engrossed in tidying up.

When I say "completely engrossed," that's when I haven't been teaching, writing reports, planning lessons or taking Confirmation classes... or praying, washing, eating and sleeping. That hasn't left much time in which to immerse myself in housework, but normally I eschew the housework in favour of blogging.

Half term is only just over two weeks away (the great thing about teaching is the regular holidays... though they are really necessary!) Not only do I not want to do any tidying up during this holiday, I don't want to feel guilty about not doing any. And as unattended piles of stuff breed during the night (even if the stuff is tidy and necessary) I am desperate to clear the piles of stuff which were so carefully sorted last weekend when I had my mad throw-it-all-out session.

At the beginning of half term, the Day With Mary crowd are visiting our parish, and, having cleared out so much rubbish, I find that I have a few spaces on my bookshelves. Since spaces on bookshelves also attract piles of junk, it will be necessary for me to purchase a few books. And then I can spend half term curled up on the sofa reading the books.

The one problem with all this clearing up is the effect it is having on Sylvester. He does enjoy having his sofa back, but, normally, I save major housework for mad spurts just before I go away, so that my next-door neighbour doesn't think I'm a complete slob when she comes in to cat-sit. As a result, Sylvester is in agonies of expectation, and he follows me round from room to room, as if to check that I'm not surreptitiously packing my suitcase!

Anyway, that explains the lack of posts...

Prayers Answered...

It can be a little difficult to be positive at the moment. Barack Obama's administration is doing its level best to get all the pro-life legislation in America overturned, and is pursuing an aggressively pro-abortion, anti-life agenda. 

Here, in the UK, things aren't any better: we have laws allowing the creation of human-animal hybrid embryos, and embryos for research, and so on, while the numbers of abortions go up and up, and the push, in schools, for more and more teaching on contraception is relentless. Elderly people are being urged to consider themselves a burden on society, helping society out by doing the "decent thing" and killing themselves (or allowing others to do it for them.)

It's easy to get dispirited, and to forget that, as well as writing to MPs, fund-raising, and going on protest marches, we can pray. We forget that prayer is necessary, if our work against the forces of evil which have been unleashed in our world is to succeed. And we forget that Jesus promised us that the devil could be overcome by prayer.

So it's nice to get the occasional reminder: after the fanfare surrounding the first two applications for licences for human-animal hybrid embryo research, it seems that, despite getting the licences, the projects failed to get the funding.

Not a total victory over the powers of darkness, more a tiny chink of light, but we should take heart, stay awake, and keep praying.

Fame...

I had a bit of a surprise at the end of Mass this morning. As I left my pew, a voice from behind me asked, "Excuse me, but are you the Mulier Fortis?"

Katrina and her husband Dario are, apparently, fans. Over from Italy visiting a relative for a short while, they had been to Mass in a few other churches round the area, where they had, as Katrina put it, encountered some strange practices and heard some very odd things. Reading my blog had led them to find Fr. Tim's Parish website (with directions) and so they thought they'd give it a try.

Getting lost, they hailed a taxi to ask for further directions: did the taxi driver know of Our Lady of the Rosary Catholic Church, by any chance?

They were in luck: as well as being given directions, the driver added, "I think you'll enjoy it there!"

So, Katrina and Dario (I hope I spelt your names correctly... feel free to correct me in the com-box) welcome to Blackfen. It was great to chat to you in the Parish club, and do visit again soon!

Spring Cleaning...

I absolutely hate housework. I also hate being disorganised. This means that I am constantly in a state of tension between the two incompatible facets of my personality. I achieve a sort of cognitive dissonance by being supremely organised at work (I am almost pathological about keeping surfaces in my classroom clear of clutter, and my desk in the faculty office is only allowed to get up to a half-term's worth of disorder before I am compelled to have a "filing session" after school) and being very untidy at home.

I am lucky enough to live in a two-bedroom flat, and one of the bedrooms started off as an office. This was fine while my computer was in there... I had to be able to keep it relatively tidy in order to access the internet without being confronted with lots of mess and disorder. The problems began when I got a new computer with broadband. The broadband connection was in the living room, and I made the mistake of not getting rid of the old computer immediately, so there was little incentive to get connections sorted out and the computer relegated to the office...

I was also blogging for recreation, and so didn't want it to be in the office, which was for "work" stuff. At least, that's how I rationalised my inertia. I'm good at that.

Then I had a period off work, and was feeling a bit stressed, and I had a lot of extra work-related items which could no longer be kept at school, so they got dumped in the office, instead of being sorted out properly. I wanted things to be tidy and organised, though, so I solved the problem by putting everything in bags and leaving the bags in the spare room.

I then found that there was no room in the spare room (the door would barely open) and so things lay around in piles in the living room, and the bedroom. Soon, Sylvester found that his favourite spot on the sofa was covered in books and files.

Bit by bit, the disorder got to me, and, eventually, I started to tackle the piles of books. I only seemed to have the energy during holiday periods, so it was pretty slow going, and no sooner did I get one pile of stuff sorted than another pile seemed to appear in a new spot. The spare room was, however, still a no-go area. Finally, I realised that the tidy piles of stuff in the living room would remain forever, periodically getting messy and being tidied again, (like a modern-day labour of Sisyphus) unless I sorted the spare room and turned it back into an office.

Drastic action was called for. Luckily, a friend of mine has a particular penchant for tidying up other people's houses - she says that it is an antidote to sharing a flat with someone else who is very messy: this, apparently, makes tidying her own house very unrewarding (and somewhat depressing.) I have to confess to being unable to see the logic which results in the tidying bug being worked out on someone else's house, but, as she was offering to help me, I wasn't going to argue the point.

We spent the whole of Saturday afternoon and evening clearing, cleaning, sorting and rearranging. By 9:30pm we had filled several bags' worth of items to be disposed of via the Council's re-use and recycling centre. I disposed of the bags this afternoon, after Mass. Somehow I managed to fit it all in the car...

I don't yet have a tidy flat, but the piles of books and files are all needed and all I have to do is decide exactly where I want to put them. I can also walk into the spare room without breaking any limbs.

And Sylvester has his sofa back.

How Cool Is That...?

The Vatican has its own YouTube channel, with video clips of the Holy Father, and links to relevant documents. Mantilla-twitch to Fr. Ray.

More Light Relief...

In the late 1980s and early 1990s, Barclaycard had a series of adverts starring Rowan Atkinson as a totally inept spy. The ads were so popular that the film, Johnny English was made on the back of them. Certainly this selection had me laughing until I cried, and, once again, I find myself unable to decide which one was funniest... 

"Take over for a Bough, would you moment," and "Are we about to be mugged by a gang of delinquent haddock?" were favourite catchphrases for quite some time...

Happiness...

...might not actually be a cigar called Hamlet, but sadness could quite possibly be an empty bottle of Bailey's...

One In The Eye For The Trendy Lefty Liberals...

The Pope is a huge bugbear because he's soooooo dogmatic and dictatorial and, well, censorious! The Liberal lefties who read the Guardian and its ilk much prefer trendy gurus such as the Dalai Lama... unless they actually read what he says...

Twitch of the mantilla to the Creative Minority Report.

More Traipsing Down Memory Lane...

Still no inspiration for entertaining and witty repartee in my blog posts (nothing new there, then!) Nevertheless, a comment from Fr. Owl after my last post, about how adverts used to be creative and funny (sometimes more than the programmes) got me reminiscing about a few of my favourites.

Leonard Rossiter and Joan Collins had a great set of ads for Cinzano... and four of the best are shown here. I am unable to decide which is the funniest; I find myself torn between the Japanese businessmen and the airplane recliner seat... on reflection, I'll plump for the airliner ad, as it's so very like the sort of mishap I might encounter...

Lacking Inspiration...

I have been suffering from a distinct paucity of inspiration for the blog.

I am fed up to the back teeth with everything and anything to do with the iminent Inauguration of the US President, and would be quite happy, should it be possible to do so in a purely Christian manner, to see him and his new administration at the bottom of the Potomac. Sadly, I suspect that this is not a particularly charitable train of thought, and so have decided that I must eschew all radio contact with the outside world (I don't watch TV) until Wednesday.

Apart from the media hype and hysteria about Mr. Obama, the rest of the news is depressing in the extreme (please don't misunderstand me, the media hype and hysteria is also depressing, but at least the presenters sound slightly more cheerful.) I have found a little solace in cat pictures, marzipan, chocolate and German sausage, but I feel I have exhausted the blogging possibilities associated with these topics, at least for the time being.

It would seem that I'm not the only blogger to have been suffering from writers' block. Phil (he of the Ponte Sisto) was stumped for a topic on which to expound, and he decided to overcome the impediment by writing about a day in his life. He claimed that it was very uneventful and boring. Not so... In fact, his description of how he went to a photo booth in order to obtain a passport photo had me giggling, as it made me recall the Hamlet ads of my misbegotten youth...

Having worked out how to deselect the “fun” options – my face, superimposed on a bunny rabbit, or Madonna sat on my knee – I inserted the correct change and pressed the green button. It spoke! The machine spoke to me: “Please ensure that you are sitting comfortably and position your face in the orange circle”. I was a little too tall and attempted to lower the seat, but with no success. Having decided that the seat was stuck, I slouched down until my face fitted within the circle and my eyes were in line with the image on screen. It was only after the picture was taken, that I realized the camera was looking up my nose (due to the necessary slouching)

I thought that a reminder of the advert in question might prove to be a welcome diversion...

Normal blogging service will be resumed shortly...

Time For Another Cat Post...

This photo reminded me of one I'd seen a while back... over at Cavey's blog, in fact!

I can see a definite resemblance, which suggests that my favourite Caveman is probably nothing more than a big pussycat inside...

(Ok, now I think I better go hide before the Caveman catches up with me...)

One Million Visitors...

No, not on this blog!! Well, not yet... give me a couple more years.

Fr. Tim Finigan, aka His Hermeneuticalness, is approaching the 1,000,000 visitor mark. He estimates that it should be some time this evening.

Anyone care to lay bets as to when exactly?

Carbon Footprints And All That...

Yet another picture which made me chuckle... it isn't a picture of a cat, so I don't have to wait before posting it!

A Late Christmas Present...

I came home a little late this evening, after a full day's teaching and an evening Confirmation class, to find a rather large parcel on my doormat.

I knew it was coming, but I didn't know exactly when it would arrive, and so its presence outside my door was a welcome bonus. I manoeuvred it inside, fed the cat (he has me well trained) and went in search of something sharp with which to shred the packing tape.

The friend who had sent the parcel had warned me that she'd been unable to get a smaller box, and rather than incurring a delay, she'd opted for a large box and lots of padding. She wasn't kidding. I was therefore under strict instructions to check the padding for any small items which might accidentally escape. Needless to say, this friend of mine hasn't known me all that long, or she would have realised how unnecessary such instructions would be.

I had sent some traditional English sweets over to my friend just before Christmas, as she teaches English, and she wanted to make her lessons a little more interesting... teenagers always respond well to foodstuffs. Rather than sending over the dreadful English excuse for chocolate (aka Cadbury's), I went to a little sweetshop near me and bought a selection of proper, old-fashioned sweets, that were kept in jars and weighed out. In my childhood it was "a quarter" of whatever sweet you wanted, meaning a quarter pound (4 oz). Now the sweets are priced up per 100g, but the principle was the same. I sent acid drops, rhubarb and custard, strawberry and creams, barley sugars, cough candy, lemon sherbets and so on.

I think they were well received. My friend wanted to know how she could reciprocate, and, after seeing some comments on my blog, told me that she'd send some coffee and chocolate. I forestalled her: after initially protesting that she didn't need to do anything in return, I confessed to a hankering for German sausage. Proper German sausage. I also admitted to a weakness for marzipan. The marzipan you get in England is a pretty poor excuse for marzipan (rather like the chocolate) and is sold for cake-making in big blocks. My grandmother's Christmas parcels had always included proper marzipan...

As you can see, the sausages were included with the parcel, along with some mustard and a postcard of the Holy Father. The sausages are vacuum-packed (just as well, or the sniffer dogs at Customs would have had a hard time of it) but, being proper German sausages sold loose, there are no cooking instructions, and I have had to email my friend for a reminder as to what I should do with them...

The selection of marzipan dainties was amazing. But this wasn't really what I remembered from my childhood Christmasses about marzipan...

What I really remembered was the (very German) sense of humour. German sausage is often sold from kiosks, with mustard or ketchup, and served on little paper plates. Here you can see a typical "take-away," though the sausage is much smaller than normal...

...it is, of course, actually made of marzipan. All of it. Mustard as well. The plate is real paper...

My friend also sent me some coffee beans... wrapped in chocolate!

All in all, a very welcome present...

Cafeteria-Catholic Google...

Ever wondered how the likes of Lavinia Byrne, Cristina Odone and Cherie Blair manage to call themselves Catholic without actually following any of those inconvenient "teachings" of the Church? Well, the Curt Jester has let the cat out of the bag. Apparently, it is possible to use Liberal Catholic Google to screen out all those pesky Vatican documents, not to mention nasty biblical references to unpleasant subjects such as "sin" and "hell"...

About Us

Are you tired of using search terms that give you a bunch of results that you don't want? That you have to go through page after page of results to find answers that match what you want?

If so then liberalcatholicgoogle.com is the site for you!

Our specialized search algorithm will give you the results you want without a bunch of search chaff. No more will you find such sites as catholic.com, Catholic Encyclopedia, etch cluttering up your search results. Though one problem is that even among us progressive Catholics there are people who accept one so-called "dogma" and not another. When we pick and choose what we accept from the hierarchical Church it is not surprising that others pick and choose a different set. But we are a big tent Church and to accommodate this LiberalCatholicGoogle will further filter your search results based on your theological prospective.

When you go to our configuration page you will see a selection of check boxes such as for example:

 Abortion  Contraception  Divorce  Homosexual Acts  Homosexual Marriage  Jesus is God  Jesus is one of many paths  Magisterium  Obedience  Papal Infallibility  Personal Infallibility  Women's Ordination

Just check off the items that best match what you accept.

Or you can just check off

 National Catholic Reporter Reader

And the checkmarks will be checked accordingly.

After then after answering a short questionnaire you're off to search results matched perfectly to what you already believe!

No more will you be bothered with pesky Vatican documents such as Humanae Vitae or annoying quotes from the Church Fathers in your search results. You will find plenty of content from the National Catholic Reporter, Commonweal, America, and other great Catholic sources such as the New York Times and the Washington Post.

Now sometimes you actually want something from a source such as the Vatican or Scripture. In these cases simply checkmark  Vatican Safe Search and/or Scripture Safe Search

With Vatican Safe Search on - we have a special search algorithm first developed for Cherie Blair. The search will go through Vatican documents using the specialized search pick also known as the Cherie pick to return passages of documents that best match your search preferences and search terms. The Cherie pick also works perfectly wellwithScripture Safe Search - on. You will be sure to get scripture such as"judge not' without results such as "go and sin no more" or mean passages from homophobic St Paul. Within seconds you will have select passages to prove to other Catholics whatever you want!

Not convinced yet? Well take a look at a sample of real world search results and you will be:

 

Planned Parenthood Federation of America, Inc.
Donate to Planned Parenthood. Schedule an abortion.
www.plannedparenthood.org/ - 56k

Catholics for Choice
Works in partnership with reproductive health, interfaith and Catholic church reform groups that share the commitment to safe, legal reproductive health ...
www.catholicsforchoice.org/ - 22k

NARAL Pro-Choice Massachusetts : News
Dec 16, 2008 ... NARAL Pro-Choice Massachusetts releases results of a survey of ... Responses from both Catholic and secular hospitals indicate that they may ...
www.prochoicemass.org/news/echosp2008.shtml - 19k

Commonweal - A review of religion, politics and culture
Why Mario Cuomo is a hero for first using personally opposed but ...
www.commonwealmagazine.org

EMILY's List
Supporting pro-choice Democratic women running for congress and governor.
www.emilyslist.org/

Writer's Desk: June 26, 2006
National Catholic Reporter is a nonprofit organization. Contributions are tax- deductible in the ... Understand, I am no absolutist on the abortion issue. ...
www.nationalcatholicreporter.org/todaystake/index.htm

Amazon.com: A Brief, Liberal, Catholic Defense of Abortion: Daniel ...
" A Brief, Liberal, Catholic Defense of Abortion" argues that the current Catholic anti-abortion stance is justified neither by modern embryology nor by ...
www.amazon.com/Brief-Liberal-Catholic-Defense-Abortion/dp/0252025504 - 287k

Pro-abortion Senator Joe Biden
The next Republican that tells me I'm not religious, I'm going to shove my rosary beads down their throat.. ...
www.joebiden.com/ - 9k

Barack Obama and Joe Biden: The Change We Need
Jan 22, 2008 ... And I will continue to defend this right by passing the Freedom of Choice Act as president. "Moreover, I believe in and have supported ...
www.barackobama.com/2008/01/22/obama_statement_on_35th_annive.php - 41k -

My First Award For 2009...

Admittedly, it's probably going to be my only award in 2009, but let's skate over that bit. My favourite Caveman has seen fit to bestow upon me none other than the Superior Scribbler Award.

So, whassat when it's at home?

Read on, my crayon-toting friend, and learn...

* Each Superior Scribbler must in turn pass the award on to 5 most-deserving Bloggy Friends.

* Each Superior Scribbler must link to the author and the name of the blog from whom he/she has received the Award.

* Each Superior Scribbler must display the award on his/her blog, and link to this post, which explains the award.

* Each Blogger who wins the Superior Scribbler Award must visit this post and add his/her name to the Mr. Linky List (scroll down). That way, we’ll be able to keep up-to-date on everyone who receives this prestigious honour!

* Each Superior Scribbler must post these rules on his/her blog.

I hereby designate as Superior Scribblers:

1.  Fr. Ray Blake.

2.  Leutgeb

3.  Karen

4.  Paulinus

5.  Ttony

I'm also awarding it to Fr. Tim, but (a) he probably won't notice, and (b) he probably won't get round to passing it on, as it's like a meme, and he thinks they're a bit "girly"...

Words Of Wisdom...

If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck and talks like a duck...

...it probably needs a little longer in the microwave.

Calendar Confusion...

I find myself drawn more and more to the Extraordinary Form of Mass, and am also fortunate enough to be able to indulge myself in this respect, as we have a regular Sunday morning Missa Cantata. Saturday morning Mass is also in the Extraordinary Form.

The confusion for me arises with the Calendar of Saints because I also pray the Divine Office... but the Novus Ordo one! I haven't switched to the Old Breviary because my Latin is almost non-existent... though I'm picking it up through typing up the propers for Mass for our choir. 

I'd quite like to pray the Old Rite Breviary, but need a Latin-English version. I understand that Baronius Press are in the process of producing one, though there is, as yet, no publication date. Has anyone got any suggestions...?

A Manuel Moment...

I went out for dinner this evening. There were a few communication issues with the waiter...

"A cappuccino, an espresso and a Remy Martin, please."

"Cappuccino, espresso, and, uhhhhhh..."

"A brandy."

"Ahhh! Brandy! Which one?"

"Remy Martin."

"Ahhh... Remy... OK."

Manuel lives...

A Gangster's Guide To God...

John Pridmore came to the parish this evening. He gave an excellent talk to a packed church, explaining his conversion experience. He's a very inspiring and charismatic speaker, and he did his utmost to explain how his former life was empty and unfulfilling, despite appearing to be everything a man could want.

If you ever get the opportunity to hear him speak, make sure you go. I would also recommend his books: From Gangland to Promised Land and Gangster's Guide to God.

Prayer Time...

I received the following information via email. I have to confess to having been short-sighted enough to mentally assign the Freedom of Choice Act to "things American which I can't do anything about."

As this email made clear, you don't have to be a US citizen to pray about it...

The Freedom of Choice Act (FOCA) is set to be signed if the US Congress passes it on January 21-22, 2009. If made a law then all limitations on abortion will be lifted which will result in the following:

1) All hospitals, including Catholic hospitals will be required to perform abortions upon request. If this happens Bishops vow to close down all Catholic hospitals, more then 30% of all hospitals in the United States.
2) Partial birth abortions would be legal and have no limitations.
3) All U.S. tax payers would be funding abortions.
4) Parental notification will no longer be required.
5) The number of abortions will increase by a minimum of 100,000 annually.

Perhaps most importantly the government will now have control in the issue of abortion. This could result in a future amendment that would force women by law to have abortions in certain situations (rape, Downs Syndrome babies, etc.) and could even regulate how many children women are allowed to have. Needless to say this information is disturbing, but sadly true. As Catholics, as Christians, as anyone who is against the needless killing of innocent children, we must stand as one. We must stop this horrific act before it becomes a law.

The Plan :
To say a novena (9 days of prayer) along with fasting (for at least two days) starting on January 11th. For Catholics, the prayer of choice will be the rosary with intentions to stop the FOCA. For non-Catholics I encourage you to pray your strongest prayers with the same intentions, also for nine consecutive days. The hope is that this will branch and blossom as to become a global effort with maximum impact. We have very little time so we all must act fast. 

Remember that with God all things are possible and the power of prayer is undeniable. If you are against the senseless killing of defenseless children then the time is now to do something about it!

Usus Antiquior Launch Countdown...

At the launch of the journal Usus Antiquior, which I attended last September, a competition for the design of the journal was opened. The winning entry has now been announced, and you can see it (and some of the runners up) on the New Liturgical Movement.

The following appeal was also added...

Similarly, we must thank those who have so kindly donated to the journal, howsoever modestly. Your financial support at this crucial time – when we have no other income whatsoever – has facilitated much of the hidden practical and academic work we have accomplished thus far. We need, however, to appeal for further donations in order to sustain this work in the coming year when the administrative structures of the journal must be established and the process of advertising it to seminaries, religious houses and academic institutions must be begun. Contributions, however small, will all help to ensure the journal’s quality and success, and may be made on our website or by post. God bless you for your generosity!

In the coming months arrangements for the management of subscriptions as well as the production and distribution of the journal will be finalised. Subscriptions will open on our website on 7th July 2009 when the contents of the first edition will also be announced.

Donations can be made from the journal website. Twitch of the mantilla to Fr. Tim.

New(ish) Blogs Discovered...

For some strange reason, for the past couple of days, I've had more than 300 visitors. I can't quite figure out what has caused the daily stats to go up (not that I'm complaining) as the referrals don't appear to be any one particular blog or website...

In examining the list of referrals, I've noticed one or two new blogs. I am, unfortunately, still unable to edit my blogroll, and have been too busy/lazy/ill to begin the mammoth task of transferring all my links to another system. So, I thought I'd mention one or two in a post...

First up is the engagingly named "That The Bones You Have Crushed May Thrill," written by Laurence England. He's only been blogging since last September, but has managed quite an impressive output. I laughed out loud when I read his post on taking the environmental message of the Bishops' Conference seriously...

Cookie is the first female member of the Lair of the Catholic Cavemen (not including the House Sergeant Major, who is the non-blogging wife of Cavey, the Vir Speluncae Catholicus.) I did worry that Cavey and his chums had gone all PC on us, but Cookie appears refreshingly direct. She also has her own blog, The Holy Cookie.

The Lazy Disciple appears to be living up to his name... though I think that being a husband, father and PhD student at the Gregorian University in Rome might explain the dearth of blog posts since he started back in 2006... heheheheh!

David Palmer is a re-entry in the Blog stakes... he stopped blogging about a year ago, but has succumbed to the lure of the Blogosphere, and is up and running again with a new blog, The Fullness of Faith (albeit with the old name) and a particular emphasis on Islam and how it affects the Church.

Kit describes herself as mother of three, wonderful, well-loved children, wife of an amazing man, scolder of dogs, herder of cats, and tamer of an otherwise feral cockatiel. She also finds the time to write By The Brook, the chronicles of a Catholic mom, wife, lawyer, professor, daughter, sister, mentor, boss and employee embarked on the perilous journey past 40. She appears to be almost as accident-prone as me, as her post detailing eye injuries sustained in the dentist's chair and with a mascara wand testifies...

Finally, Fr. John Abberton, Parish Priest of Holy Spirit, Heckmondwike, Yorkshire, is the author of Stella Maris. He has a particularly strong Marian devotion, being, I think, a Third Order Carmelite (I assume that's what "TOC" stands for!) and a member of the Marian Movement of Priests. If it's the Marian Movement I'm thinking of, I first heard of the Movement when I was in Camberwell, just after my return to the Faith, and I heard more about it at the Padre Pio bookshop in Vauxhall Bridge Road, Victoria... seeing Fr. John's reference to the Marian Movement really took me back a few years!

Question Time...

Ok, as a relative newbie to the Extraordinary Form (I've attended Mass for a while, but have only been following the EF Ordo since last Easter, or thereabouts) I've got a quick question.

I get the impression that Septuagesima is penitential, (heheheh) but in what way, exactly, is it different from Lent? I mean, Lent still starts on Ash Wednesday in the EF calendar, so presumably Lenten fasting etc. starts then too... so what are the penitential "practices" (if any) which happen at Septuagesima?

Just wondering...

Warped Mentality...

According to Baroness Warnock, doctors who refuse to help terminally ill patients kill themselves are "genuinely wicked."

This is the same woman who said that dementia patients have a duty to die, so as not to be a burden on their families or the State.

As John Smeaton points out, her views on human fertilisation, embryology and stem cell research have already been incorporated into British Law.

How long before her views on euthanasia are similarly made law?

Feast Of The Epiphany

No, it wasn't a Holyday of Obligation, but quite a few people like to celebrate it on the traditional date of January 6th... and, if you celebrate the Extraordinary Form of Mass, you still can.

We had a very good attendance at the Solemn High Mass; Fr. Charles Briggs and Deacon John Harrison had come along from Chislehurst to act as Deacon and Sub-Deacon respectively. There were 10 servers on the Sanctuary, and two other boys had asked Fr. Tim if they could serve for the Epiphany... but, as they haven't yet made their First Communion, they had to settle for being allowed to put out some of the candles after Mass.

One of the servers, aged 10 years, came back into the sacristy afterwards to show Fr. Tim his "new" St. Andrew's Missal... "Look, Father," he exclaimed, "I've got the prayers before Mass marked with a white tab (ribbon), and the Mass next Sunday, it's the Holy Family, isn't it? That's marked with a green tab... and I've got another tab for the prayers for Benediction..." This lad has already, at age 10, acted as MC for Sunday Mass, and yesterday managed to say the servers' responses off by heart.

Not a low-energy lightbulb, clown or fairtrade chocolate in sight.

As Fr. Tim said, "I really must introduce you to Bishop Conry."

Sad Demise of Orthfully Catholic

...The death of the blog, I hasten to point out, not the authors.

It seems that, after two years, the seminarians are hanging up their computer keyboards. I am very sorry to see the end of their blogging careers, though I am pleased to note that they have just stopped posting (with a comment in the most recent com-box to confirm their decision) rather than actually deleting their whole blog, and leaving the rest of us with dead links.

Be assured, chaps, that I'll be praying for you as you continue in your preparation for the priesthood... Don't stop visiting, and leave the odd comment just to let me know how you're getting on.

And I look forward to the invitation to your Ordinations... (hint, hint)

Married Clergy As The Solution?

The BBC, when not actually bashing Catholics, likes to take little side-swipes at the Church; little comments which suggest that the Church would be absolutely fine and dandy (and perfectly acceptable to the intelligentia) if she didn't adopt such backward-looking "policies." And the BBC is very adept at trotting out "leading Catholics" (such as Cristina Odone, and Sister Lavinia Byrne - though the latter appears to have fallen out of favour since she dropped the "Sister" bit) who are happy to confirm these opinions.

The most popular little dig consists of the suggestion that clerical celibacy is the reason behind all the woes of the Church. You name it, it's because the Catholic Church insists on celibacy. Falling attendance at Mass, lack of vocations, child abuse and homosexual clergy would all stop, immediately, if the Pope would only be realistic and allow married clergy.

At this point, an "ex-priest" is often cited as being so unfairly treated (if not actually trotted out in person) compared to his ex-Anglican married brethren who have been welcomed into the Catholic Church with open arms. The little inconvenient fact that the former has broken his vow of priestly celibacy, while the latter have not, is ignored.

Fr. Longenecker is a former Anglican priest who crossed the Tiber a while back. He's also married. As he points out, the Anglican Church has got married clergy, and that hasn't stopped the problems, demonstrated by this piece in the Telegraph. As an aside, it looks as though allowing women priests has problems too...

First Blonde Joke Of The Year...

In my New Year's Resolutions, I said that I would limit my blonde jokes to one a month. So, this one is January's offering...

A blonde woman was seen standing by a coke machine. She put in a pound coin, pressed a button, and out came a bottle of coke. The blonde clapped her hands, jumped up and down, and then put in another pound. Once again, she pressed a button, and a bottle of coke was dispensed. She put in another pound, and repeated the process. Another bottle arrived.

A young man approached, and asked her if she would be finished with the machine any time soon.

"Not a chance!" replied the blonde, "I'm not leaving here until I stop winning!"

Weather

Everything sounded strangely muffled this morning, and so I looked through my bedroom window to see what was going on. Aha. All becomes clear - snow!

Traddy Eye-Candy...

We had our monthly Missa Cantata on Saturday. I just couldn't resist taking a few photos... the Extraordinary Form of Mass is just sooooo much more photogenic than the Ordinary Form...




Nothing out of the ordinary, just our usual parish Mass, but, ohhhhhhh! What an experience!

And then, we finished with a short service of Benediction...

Battling Manfully On...

Right now, I am feeling like death, dug up and warmed over... and then reburied. I know when it is time to take another dose of my medicine, because I start to get woozy, short of breath and recommence trying to cough up the lining of my lungs. Coughing that hard has unfortunate side effects... When I take the medication, I feel better for a bit, and then start doing too much, and end up feeling exhausted. Night-time is the worst, because lying flat makes coughing harder. As a result, sleeping isn't something I'm doing much of... it's more of a fitful doze, and so I'm "oversleeping" more than is my usual wont.

Yes, I am feeling very sorry for myself. I also feel guilty, because I have the sneaky suspicion that I probably should be swathed in layer upon layer of protective clothing, and, if I must venture out, I should ring a little bell and call out "Unclean, unclean!" as a warning to others. The doctor did say that I should rest, but didn't seem to think I was infectious... 

Hmmmmmn...

The Forbidden Cave...

I have been to Lourdes about nine or ten times now, and it is still my favourite "holiday" location. I have, in the past, been down the side of the hill to the grotto (the tortuous, zig-zag path is the only way in and out of the Domaine once the main gates are shut) and I've been to the High Stations on the Espelugues Hill, but not for many years; my knee and ankle problems have stopped me from being adventurous...

I didn't realise that there was actually a cave at the end of the High Stations where people used to celebrate Mass, nor that it was "forbidden" to large groups since an earthquake (though this is debated amongst the chaplains). In actual fact, I had no idea that there had been any earthquake in the area since the Apparitions 150 years ago.

The cave is secured by iron railings. Fr. George, a chaplain at Lourdes, has managed to explore the cave a little, and has made the following video... I notice that he doesn't mention exactly how he managed to get in, but I presume that, as a chaplain, he was able to get the key rather than scrambling over the railings...

As well as the video (which is about 15 minutes long) there is also the blog, Immaculataconceptio, which allows you to make a daily virtual pilgrimage to the shrine. The official Lourdes website can be found HERE.

Vocations Retreat...

Knowing lots of priests and seminarians, especially on the blogosphere, I often read about vocations retreats for men discerning the call to the priesthood. This is excellent, and very necessary, and believe me, I'm not complaining on "equal-opportunities" grounds (apart from the odd remnant of a hankering to be a traddy womynpriest.)

I was, however, delighted to come across the following post about a vocations retreat for women, led by Fr. Stephen Langridge (the Vocations Director for Southwark) at the Dominican Convent in the New Forest from the evening of Friday 13th until after lunch on Sunday 15th February.
The Retreat is for young women aged 16-30. It will cost £30.00.

For more information or to book a place (there are only 9 places available) send an email to Fr. Stephen.

One For Fr. Z...

Fr. Zuhlsdorf hasn't actually had any bird-watching posts up for a while, but this caption made me think of him...

The Action Plan...

After another really lousy night, I decided to go to the doctor. Several people (including my mother) told me that I should have gone much sooner... I didn't bother to explain that I wouldn't have been able to go any sooner, given that I wasn't actually at death's door (and so didn't need to get the emergency services out) and the fact that my GP's surgery was closed for New Year.

I got there just before 8am, to find that a sizable queue was waiting for the doors to open. My heart sank, as I didn't feel like exchanging whatever I had for the collection of viruses being incubated by the others. Fortunately, the majority of the other patients appeared to want to collect prescriptions and sick notes, and there were one or two appointments for the nurse. I was informed that there was only one GP in this morning, and that it was a case of sit and wait rather than the usual appointment system... and so I went and sat.

I told the doctor that I'd been ill already for about a week (thus establishing my credentials... GPs usually send you home with a flea in your ear if you dare to see them too quickly after the onset of whatever it is) and that I was coughing up some rather nasty gunk (yellowish-brown and sort-of solid-looking.) The stethoscope was duly whipped out and my lungs listened to. Apparently I was crackly and wheezy enough for a quick diagnosis: "Yes, there's more of it about than people realise, despite all the news reports," he opined. "I've had it already. The other doctor due on this morning has also got it... that's why he's not in. It's spreading. We're in for a bad bout of it."

Feeling slightly guilty, I asked if I should be staying away from other people, especially as I'm a teacher. "No, you should be fine on the antibiotics and the steroid inhaler... and anyway, if there is a flu epidemic, the schools will all be closed... that's the emergency action plan..."

So, there you have it. Parents, if your pride and joy tells you that he (or she) is feeling ill, don't ignore it and send him to school anyway, not unless you want lots of little horrors to catch the bug and all get sent home for a fortnight. Just remember: Christmas Holidays, round 2, without the distraction of presents.

Of course, speaking as a teacher, the idea of a two-week break in the interests of Public Health sounds quite appealing...

We've Got A Little List...

This made me laugh out loud, so much so that it induced a violent coughing-fit, and scared the cat. I saw it on Fiorella's blog, The Monstrous Regiment of Women, but rather than just linking to it, I wanted to make sure I had the actual text. Fiorella didn't say where she got it, though she did have the necessary permissions, and, of course, once it's "out there"...

As someday it may happen that Pope Benedict comes round,
I've got a little list, I've got a little list,
Of ecclesial offenders who'd be better underground
And who never would be missed, who never would be missed.
The diocesan bureaucracy for every single See
That garners all their pennies from the likes of you and me;
The crass renewal programmes which cost parishes the earth
And the Catholic "Intellectuals" who doubt the Virgin Birth
And the sanctuary re-orderers who hide the Eucharist.
They'd none of 'em be missed! They'd none of 'em be missed!

(Refrain: You may put 'em on the list...)

The composers and librettists of a thousand awful hymns -
We've got 'em on the list, we've got 'em on the list -
The episcopal ordinary indulging all his whims -
He never would be missed; he never would be missed.
The highly paid youth worker who knows nothing about youth,
Who sits on four committees and is too long in the tooth,
The well-connected journalist who spouts 'progressive' views
And the feminist dissenter who is always in the news.
And that universal irritant, the layman liturgist
We've got 'em on the list, we've got 'em on the list

(Refrain: We've got 'em on the list, we've got 'em on the list...)

The welcoming committee who shove hymn books in your face -
We've got 'em on the list, we've got 'em on the list -
Fr Ad Lib, Fr Make-it-up and others of his race
They never would be missed; they never would be missed.
The self-important music group who lead you from the front
The ugly new cathedral where you fall into the font
The kind of clergy jollies costing 20,000 quid
Which produce a "Vision Statement" in an hotel near Madrid
And Sister Mary Trousersuit, the trendy catechist
I'm sure she'll not be missed - I'm sure she'll not be missed!

(Refrain: You may put 'em on the list...)

New Year's Resolutions...

As Fr. Ray Blake has already pointed out, the New Year for Catholics started with the first Sunday of Advent. I have given up making New Year's resolutions, because most of them were chocolate-related (or lack-of-chocolate-related) and, with the Christmas surfeit of chocolate, they rarely lasted beyond January 2nd.

This year, however, I thought that a few blog-related resolutions might be in order.

1. I will endeavour to post at least once per day.

2. I will not post more than one blonde joke each month.

3. I will not post more than one cat post each fortnight.

4. I will restrict the use of the exclamation mark to genuine exclamations.

Any further suggestions for improvements of my blog gratefully received (via the com-box.)