Reflecting On The Incarnation...

It does seem rather unseasonal to be reflecting on the Incarnation, but it was triggered off by the Faith talks at the Summer Session, by the word Incarnadine from my last post.

The Scotist view of the Incarnation really does make more sense than the Thomist one. It gives a beauty and dignity to Creation; the idea that the world was made for Christ, and the Church, his Bride, was prepared for him before the Creation of the world.

For the three of you not in the know, the Scotist view was that of Blessed John Duns Scotus, and championed by the Franciscans, that Jesus Christ would have become Incarnate even if there had been no Fall. The Thomist view, that of St. Thomas Aquinas, and defended by the Dominicans, was that Jesus became Incarnate because of the Fall.

If God made us matter and spirit, then there must have been a reason. After all, God created the angels out of love and gave them free will... and they were just spirit. Why bother making creatures which were both matter and spirit unless he intended His Son to become Incarnate so as to be able to communicate with us as matter and spirit? And therefore to bring us to the fullness of life, not just to save us from our sins.

Obviously, the Fall threw a spanner in the works, and therefore we did not recognise Christ when he came: we rejected his message, and he had to undergo the Cross.

Sorry... just musing out loud. It's been a weird sort of day.

More On MacMillan...

Now that I've had the chance to catch up on sleep, I thought I'd put up another post about the Guest Speaker at this year's Faith Summer Session.

I think I am the sort of person a real artiste dreads: "I don't know anything about music/art/literature etc., but I know what I like..." - I was steered into the Sciences early on (my natural inclination) and remained a complete Philistine in other areas.

So I hadn't heard much about James MacMillan. I'd heard his name mentioned a few times, always very positively, and knew that he was a composer of some standing. He then wrote a letter to The Bitter Pill protesting about their disgraceful treatment of Fr. Tim Finigan, followed by another one in defence of bloggers, and he went up even higher in my estimation.

Then I heard he had been chosen to compose a Mass setting for the Papal Visit, using the new English translation, and I realised that he was a very big noise indeed, as is borne out by the Boosey & Hawkes Music Publishers' biography.

We have sung the same Mass setting at Faith conferences for quite a few years now, and I was vaguely aware that it was referred to as "the MacMillan Mass" - it only occurred to me as James MacMillan took a seat in the chapel that this was the very same MacMillan... and the congregation were going to be singing his Mass setting... and he'd probably want to throttle someone by the end of it... In actual fact, he was an extremely engaging and unassuming man, with the most gorgeous Scots' accent and a gentle but penetrating wit. He even has the good taste to read this blog (albeit only occasionally... but then he is a very busy man!)

James' talk, on how music can be used as a tool for evangelisation, was fascinating, though quite a lot of information was packed into a very short time. I need (and want) to listen to it again in more detail - it should be available for download on the Faith website quite soon.

The final part of his talk was on some of his own work which had caused a bit of a stir because it was so very clearly pro-life in its message. James went through three parts of a work he had done in collaboration with Michael Symmons Roberts - Quickening. He read out the texts, and explained some of the background and meaning, and finished up by playing a recording of the first part (he read them in reverse order, something I only knew because I'd typed the text onto PowerPoint slides for him) - Incarnadine.

It really moved me, and in the few minutes between the end of the talk and the start of questions I chatted to my neighbour, who had been equally affected. The text itself (of which I'd had a preview, as I'd typed!) was enough to make one sit up and take notice, but put together with the music, it simply blew me away. I hope I'm not infringing copyright by quoting a few of the phrases which really jumped out at me:

"This is love’s alchemy, mercurial,

what risk to bring another pair of hands

into the world!..."

"...Yet this new life is our elixir,

this soft dividing pearl is our great price."

"Incarnadine, vermillion, crimson;

that night your words were made flesh I became

a hummingbird trapped in a scarlet room,

whose wings beat so quickly they cannot be seen."

I love the way that several well-known phrases are turned upside-down - "another mouth to feed," "the pearl of great price," "the Word was made flesh." Unfortunately, I wasn't able to track down any recording of the work on YouTube, so, if you really want to hear it, you'll just have to go and buy it from Amazon or iTunes (I did!)

Rome Reports...

The intrepid trio are being immortalised by Rome Reports as the "Trio-lars" ! I'm sure that they are used to all sorts of weird and wonderful pronunciations of their surname by now. Anyway, their tremendous achievement, cycling from Sidcup to Rome, made it onto Rome Reports TV (who left out the "Sidcup-to-Canterbury" bit of the journey!).

The two charities didn't get a plug, though, so I figure that I'll make up for the oversight by reminding you all that the Treloars funded the trip for themselves, and then decided to raise money for their two favourite charities on the back of their pilgrimage. The two charities are Mary's Meals and the Cardinal Winning Pro-Life Initiative. You can still make a donation via the donations page - they are currently at £3,912 - but they plan to close the page soon, so get those donations in as soon as possible.

Here's the news report...



Mantilla-twitch to Leutgeb who saw it first.

Faith Summer Session Photos...

Fr. Tim Finigan was the official photographer for the Faith Summer Session this year, and so he has put up the group photos onto Flickr where everyone can admire and download (or print off) any photos they want.

I didn't manage to take quite as many photos as I'd have liked, particularly the informal shots, because being on crutches made it a little difficult to wield a camera... However I have put up a selection of the best ones up on my own Flickr page.

Somehow or other, despite being corralled into the auditorium for the official photo session, I managed to avoid being included in any of the photos. I didn't quite escape unscathed... I was nabbed by one priest, but since he doesn't blog, I might just get away with it...

Poets' Day...

...or, push off early, tomorrow's Saturday!

(Even though I'm still on holiday, I'm considerate enough to think of those who are less fortunate!)

Day 4...

Call me paranoid, but I think Sylvester might be getting a trifle impatient...

Oh well... nothing a tin of tuna won't fix.

Ok. Make that two tins...

...smoked salmon, perhaps...?

Networking...

As Fr. Tim has pointed out, the Faith Summer Session is a great opportunity for networking. I suspect that there are quite a few bloggers around today, especially as it's the day for visitors. If we manage to get a bloggers' photo, it should prove interesting.

Two priests were giving out First Blessings after Mass today... I think both of them are leaving the Conference this evening, so they couldn't be spread out. I did, however, manage to get one of the First Blessings last night, so I was hopefully able to clock up two Plenary Indulgences for the Holy Souls.

I was delighted to be able to chat with James MacMillan last night - yes, it was the James MacMillan, the composer, not someone with the same name, nor a drug-induced hallucination. I was extremely flattered (and somewhat flabbergasted, to be frank) when he told me that he'd read my blog. Not very frequently, to be sure, but he'd read it. Yes, I'm name-dropping, and I don't care who knows it! So now I can claim to have bought a drink for Delia Smith (yes, the Delia Smith, she of the egg-cookery-instructions... though that was a few years ago) and James MacMillan. James was even kind enough to buy one for me too... (I discovered that the bar at Woldingham stocks Bailey's)

I'm really looking forward to his lecture this afternoon: it's not particularly concerned with music and the liturgy, but will address evangelisation through music (at least that's what I recall of the conversation from my alcohol-induced haze!)

I also got to meet up one of the speakers involved with Catholic Voices. Very nice chap... he seemed pretty on the ball and very articulate, so I'm quite encouraged. He said that he, too, read my blog... but only the spat with Mr. Ivereigh, which might explain why he seemed a little wary of me...

Heheheheh...

Getting Along...

I'd forgotten how big Woldingham School is. It's set in really beautiful grounds, but, being on crutches this year means that I'm not in the best position to appreciate them. Walking between my room, the Auditorium, the Chapel and the Dining Rooms is proving to be harder work than I anticipated. However, I am not complaining: the congenial company, excellent talks, and marvellous facilities more than compensate... The exercise may even go a little way towards helping me become less... errr... large. Then again, given the very nice food, perhaps not...! People have also been really kind to me, carrying trays, opening doors, and bringing me cups of tea... and something a little stronger in the evenings.

Faith has held its Summer Session here at Woldingham School for many years, and, as I have also been involved in the past as a helper on both the Faith Summer Break and the Southwark Diocese's Altar-Servers Break (also held at Woldingham), I've gotten to some of the staff quite well. They are really lovely people, always cheerful and very keen to help us in any way they can.

Now, if only the British Summer would start (sorry, I mean stop... we've had torrential rain and thunder and lightning this afternoon!) things would be perfect.

A Real Treat...

I am awfully excited... I have just found out that the Guest Speaker for tomorrow evening's session is none other than James MacMillan.

I seriously hope that I haven't gotten the wrong end of the stick in my Tramadol-and-diazepam induced haze, and it turns out to be some other James MacMillan...

...that would be embarassing!

Faith Summer Session Well Under Way...

I promised Sir Dan of the Nesbitry that I would post something about the Conference...

There are over 200 young people present at the Faith Summer Session in Woldingham, including over 30 priests and more than seminarians, and it's going really well so far. Last night, Fr. Michael John Galbraith opened the proceedings with a good introduction, entitled The Church: Foreshadowed from the beginning.

Among other things, he explained that Catholicism is attracting a lot of antagonism, and there is an almost visceral hatred of the Church, because she claims to teach objective Truth. This is a real challenge to our society which wants everything to be seen as relative.

This morning it was the turn of Fr. Tim Finigan to give his talk, The Church: Our living link to Christ. Despite my speculations as to whether any new technological breakthroughs would be forthcoming, Fr. Tim stuck to PowerPoint for the presentation; I really hope that he will make the slides available online, because there were several very fascinating quotes which I'd really like to look at in more detail.

Fr. Tim explained that the Faith vision particularly took the Scotist view of the Incarnation, namely that Christ would have become incarnate even if our first parents had not sinned. He then showed how this lead organically to the conclusion that the Church must also have been intended. There was a quote from one of the earliest Christian literary works, The Shepherd of Hermas (I think) which described the Church as an old woman because she had been the first to be created, and the world was made for her sake. This seems to me to be one of the most powerful arguments against those people who say things like "Oh yes, I believe in God, and in Jesus, but not in all that Church stuff..."

I'm having a really great time (no surprise there) and I'll post again as soon as I get the chance...

Oooooh... Time For A Video!

Leutgeb of Bara Brith fame thinks that it's a real shame that this video has had less than 3000 hits, and wants it to go much higher. The computer I've found at the school doesn't have speakers (and the earphones I have for my iPhone don't seem to work on it) so I have absolutely no idea what the soundtrack is... I shall find out on Friday.

In the meantime, though, I shall do my bit to raise the hit rate on the video...

Day 2...

The second day of the Faith Summer Session sees His Hermeneuticalness giving one of the talks. I'm interested in what he might have up his sleeve this year, because, after having championed it for many years, he has started to refer to PowerPoint as terribly passé.

I shall endeavour to stay alert and take photos.

I'm still on painkillers, though, so I don't actually hold out much hope...

Blogging Lite...

I'm off to the Faith Summer Session at Woldingham this week. I don't know if I'll get a chance to blog - I'll certainly have a go.

I have to say that the titles of the talks look a little daunting: they're all about the Church. I expect that the recordings will find their way onto the website in due course - in the meantime you can listen to the talks from last year's Summer and Winter Conferences.

Normal blogging will hopefully resume on Friday.

Siberian Hamster...

The inimitable Fr. Z has been having hamster trouble.

It seems that the little hamster in the sidebar has been causing some browsers to load slowly, or to scream "malware detected," and so, Fr. Z has decided that maybe the hamster has to go to join all the other little hamsters in the skies...

...though Vincenzo (the Photoshop whizzkid) decided that perhaps the hamster ought to be sent on pilgrimage to Rome...

I'm afraid that every time I hear "hamster," I start chortling. The classic BBC series Fawlty Towers had an episode called Basil the Rat (I used to think it was The Health Inspector, but apparently not.) Now, unless you have seen the episode, you won't appreciate the connections between rats and hamsters. I have looked in vain for the relevant clip on YouTube, but they only have a later part of the episode.

The health inspector pays a visit to the hotel, and Basil Fawlty goes up to Manuel the waiter's room to get him to sort out the dead pigeons in the water tank. Then he spots Manuel's pet...

I can't remember my favourite scene exactly, and searching Google hasn't helped. But basically, it goes like this:

Basil:"What's that?"
Manuel: "He my hamster."
Basil: "It's a rat!"
Manuel: "I think so too... I say to man in shop, he rat, he say no, he filigree Siberian hamster, only one in shop, special price only five pound."
Basil: "It's a bloody rat. Don't you have rats in Spain, or did Franco have 'em all shot?"

Anyway, Polly the maid pretends to give the rat to a friend to look after. In reality, they hide it in an outbuilding... and, predictably, the rat escapes. Polly, Terry the chef and Manuel all try to find the rat before Basil Fawlty discovers the deception...



This is just such a funny episode, and there's no more on YouTube, so I'm going to download it from iTunes.

It's Getting Closer...

There has been a lot of negative publicity given to the visit of the Holy Father. I have to admit, when the organisers were making such a hash of the preparations, I was extremely dubious about the whole thing.

However, now that details of the Holy Father's itinerary have been published, and the ticket allocations for each parish have been dished out, I sense more excitement about the visit. This is despite attempts to put a dampener on the events by focussing on the cost of the tickets. Leutgeb has countered that hoary old chestnut very adroitly.

Our parish's ticket allocation for Birmingham has been snapped up, and the Hyde Park tickets are pretty much all gone, so our Parish Priest is busy trying to get hold of spares from other parishes.

Stuart McCullough alerted people to the fact that Fr. Armand de Malleray, FSSP is encouraging people without tickets for the Hyde Park event to turn up to a different part of the park and pray the Rosary, accompanied by some of the priests from the FSSP. There are details given on their own website.

I definitely won't be able to go to either event - I was doubtful before, but my recent ligament injury has confirmed it - though I still hope to be able to go and line up along a route somewhere to wave a flag. The mood has changed, and the organisers of the Papal visit are encouraging the faithful to line the streets, while the use of the popemobile will help to make the Holy Father more visible.

Our parish newsletter has been giving suggestions for how we can prepare for the Holy Father's visit, and I was delighted to see that the FSSP have much the same idea:

"...please make sure you devote special time to pray for the spiritual success of Pope Benedict’s visit. Let us not underestimate the great power of prayer and of mortification. This is a unique opportunity. Our Blessed Lord surely expects all souls of good will to intensify their prayers for His Vicar on earth as he is about to visit Our Lady’s Dowry."

Excellent suggestion!

The Next Leg Of My Recovery...

Sorry about that blog post title...

Today I had the 7-day follow-up appointment at the hospital fracture clinic. I was a little bit naughty - my appointment was actually for 10:30am, but I wanted to go to Mass first. Working on the assumption that hospital outpatient departments never succeed in seeing anyone on time, I decided to risk a late arrival, on the understanding that I might have to end up waiting until everyone who was on time had been seen first.

I was delighted to see, when I got there, that the clinic was running an hour and twenty minutes late.

First I had to have some more X-rays taken. I was a little confused, because the doctor in A&E had told me that I had torn a muscle. I had been slightly dubious at the time, as I had distinctly heard (and felt) a cracking/snapping in my knee, and my not inconsiderable experience of knee problems had led me to assume that this indicated damage to a tendon or ligament, as muscles don't crack, but I was willing to accept that I could be wrong. To be honest, I liked the idea of it being a muscle, because they heal relatively quickly, with nothing other than rest, elevation of the affected limb, ice packs and painkillers. Anyway, torn muscles don't show up on X-ray, and I thought it was a rather unnecessary waste of time, but, since I was doing my cooperative patient bit for the Holy Souls, I dutifully hopped off.

When I finally got to see the orthopaedic chappie, he gave me a thorough examination (rather more thorough than the one I had last week, but then again, this week I wasn't screaming my head off every time someone touched my leg). It still hurt, but not as much. He proceeded to zoom in on the X-rays - they were on the computer screen, and I was dying to hand over a USB stick to ask for a copy, but I refrained. He didn't strike me as having much of a sense of humour. Then the discouraging noises started.

It seems that I have damaged the medial collateral ligament, and may have damaged the meniscus as well. I have been given a knee brace to wear - a horrendously uncomfortable hinged thing, which is designed to stop the knee from bending too much in the wrong direction. I will also have to have physiotherapy - but there is a waiting list for this, despite the doctor writing "urgent" on the form. Finally, I have to have an MRI scan - luckily they had a slot at the end of August. A follow-up appointment with the orthopaedic chappie will then decide whether or not any surgical intervention is needed...

Ho hum...

As an interesting aside, during the consultation I made a reference to myself as "fat." The doctor told me that they weren't allowed to say that any more, but he was having difficulty in remembering the "acceptable" terminology while trying to ascertain whether there was an underlying medical reason for me being "...ummm, errr... large." My comment that I liked eating and didn't like exercise seemed to disconcert him just a trifle.

Home Are The Wanderers...

They made it back to Blighty, safe and sound, and with bicycles.

This morning, after Mass, the trio of cyclists posed for a photo-shoot (at the insistence of His Hermeneuticalness) - I was pretty miffed, because I didn't have my camera handy.

I did have my iPhone, but, as I have noted before, the camera really sucks. No flash. Very poor colour balance. No zoom...

The photo I took was awful. I altered the colour balance and lighting as much as possible, which is the only reason that anyone's face can be seen. I think I am going to have to start carrying my snazzy Canon IXUS 100 around with me all the time, because I've been caught short on several occasions...

However, the trio also agreed to pose outside (mostly on the insistence of their mother, who wanted them to stand by the statue of Our Lady, where they had posed at the beginning of their epic voyage) and the iPhone camera is much better in natural light (though still leaving a lot to be desired.)

I was already running late for my hospital appointment, so I didn't have time to get a properly posed shot, nor to chat to the three pilgrims. Bless them - they seemed more concerned about my recent misadventure than with their own achievements.

Do go over to their donations page if you haven't done so already...

What Goes Around, Comes Around...

I wondered if this would happen.

I have been tagged for the three favourite prayers meme...

It took ten days to make it back to me!

Antidote To The Olympics...

This made me chuckle...



Twitch of the mantilla to the indomitable Anna Arco (although she actually posted it on Facebook!)

Difficulties In Communication...

When I originally got broadband, there was a special offer on the bundle package of internet, phone and cable TV. I soon realised that the TV part of the deal was a complete waste, as I rarely watched it. I then decided that I resented paying the license fee for the anti-Catholic rubbish produced by the BBC. I promptly sent the set-top box and activation card back to the cable company, and gave the TV away.

In common with many teachers, I put off lots of little jobs until the Summer holidays, when I have the time to deal with them. One such item was sorting out the phone and internet package, and I decided that today would be a good time to attend to it.

After negotiating those irritating automated menus (You now have two options. Press 1 if you are ready to gnaw open your radial artery with your own teeth; press 2 if you have given up the will to live...) I got through to a real human being.

I explained that I wanted to arrange the best broadband-only deal, or to arrange a better broadband and phone package deal. I didn't want TV included in the package.

Unfortunately, the human being was working from a pre-arranged script.

"That's ok, the TV package is included free with the phone and the internet. There's no extra charge."

"No, really... I don't want the TV package."

"But it's free. It doesn't cost anything."

"I don't want the TV package. I don't actually have a TV."

"Ummmm...??!  No TV...?? Can I put you on hold for a minute...?"

*Sigh*  We got there... eventually...

Book Alert...

I have a confession to make: I still haven't finished reading Jesus of Nazareth, by the Holy Father. It's on my "to do whilst horizontal" list - unfortunately, if the past few days are anything to go by, I won't get much reading done, as the painkillers tend to make me zonk out as soon as I put my feet up.

The bits I have read are very good, though, so I intend to persevere. I've even downloaded a copy of the audiobook version onto my iPhone, so that if the words start wandering around the page (the painkillers are very good) I can try to listen to it.

Jane, from her Oasis over there in France, reports that the Holy Father is working on a book about the infancy of Jesus. I think that he has a book due out this Autumn - but I wasn't sure if this was the infancy book, or whether it's the third one in the series. I recall reading somewhere that the Holy Father had planned his work to be in three parts, each of which would be capable of being read alone...

Anyway, it looks as if I'm going to have to invest in another bookshelf...

They Made It...!

It seems that the triumphant trio arrived in St. Peter's Square, Rome on Saturday evening.

They made it in 20 days - 19 days if you make allowances for the day they spent in hospital with Gregory after his collision with a lamp-post. I still want to hear how he managed that one.

The trio have been enjoying the sights of Rome, and will be returning to Blighty in a couple of days. There is still time to make a donation via their charity fundraising page, and absolutely all of the money raised will be divided between Mary's Meals and the Cardinal Winning Pro-Life Initiative, as they funded the trip themselves.

Many, many congratulations on this amazing achievement.

Advice From Zephyrinus...

Zephyrinus didn't know how to get the following picture into the com-box. He suggested caution with regard to the painkillers I'm taking...

Ban The Burka?

I didn't comment at the time because I was on a blogging break, but I think it's now time to say my bit on the recent move in France to ban the wearing of the burka.

I have read lots of arguments supporting the ban. The main one seems to be that it's a symbol of the oppression of women. I've also heard the argument that, as it isn't actually prescribed by the Qur'an, the burka should not be seen as an expression of religious observance.

It is true that there may be some women who aren't given a choice as to whether or not they wear a burka. However, I do know that there are women who actively choose this attire. There is a parallel in the wearing of a mantilla in church - an argument against it is that it is a symbol of the Church's oppression of women. I disagree: I understand the wearing of the mantilla to be a sign of reverence and humility before God, and I feel intensely uncomfortable without a mantilla in church. If the burka is being worn for a similar reason, then that freedom of expression should not be taken away.

I think that making the burka illegal is a dangerous route to follow. I wear a crucifix and miraculous medal quite openly over my rollneck jumpers. It is not "required" by the teachings of the Church, however, I would be extremely upset if I were told that I could not wear these symbols of my faith openly, because they might offend someone else's views on what is oppressive.

Today, the burka is being banned. Tomorrow it will be the mantilla, and the day after it will be the crucifix... and then, maybe priests will not be allowed to wear clerical collars in public...

We need to stand up for the right to dress according to our beliefs.

(I might not be expressing myself as clearly as I'd like because of the painkillers I'm on... apologies for the - greater than usual - incoherence!)

How I'm Feeling Today...

'Nuff said...

And Another Blog To Consider...

Catholic of Thule is an interesting blog which has been going since December of last year... though she posts rather infrequently. There isn't much in the way of information about the blog author, but I gather that she likes cats and has a Norwegian connection...

Fantastic Blog...

I have discovered another blog to add to my roll. It is, unfortunately for me, in Portuguese, but Google translate lets me get the general gist of it. Called "The Dignity of Catholic Women," it has all sorts of good stuff on family, modesty, purity and such like.

Go and visit.

Progress Report...

Thank you for all the prayers and good wishes.

I am in a lot less pain than I was two days ago. The painkillers are certainly doing their job, though I'm trying to find that happy medium between not being in too much pain and not being completely zonked. The temptation to do too much is also one to be resisted - I realise that I have to rest my leg, but, living alone means that I have to fend for myself to a certain extent. It's a bit of a balancing act (literally!)

Luckily this happened while I'm on school holidays - therefore my messed-up sleep pattern isn't too much of a problem. I do want to go to daily Mass, so I have the motivation to get up and dressed, but Mass isn't until 10am most weekdays, so no pressure!

In the meantime, when I'm not out of my skull, I can play around with the internet. I managed to set up a small webcam, and now have Skype. I don't make many international calls, and I rarely go over my "free" mobile call allowance, so the money-saving aspect of Skype isn't that useful. However, I do like the ability to see the person to whom I'm speaking, and the opportunity for a conference call has a certain appeal... online Skype blognic, anyone?

Heartfelt Thanks...

I have been overwhelmed by the "get well soon" messages, comments and posts I have received... I feel slightly guilty, because, although it is extremely painful (and inconvenient), a torn muscle isn't actually that serious...

...at least I hope it isn't...

;-)

I shall post again later, but right now the painkillers are doing odd things to my head. I've fallen asleep three times while sitting bolt upright at the computer keyboard trying to write this post. Time for a little nap, I think!

Not A Well Body...

Today was supposed to be the first day of my summer holiday.

I had planned to go to Mass, do some admin to help my Parish Priest (like many teachers, I get a kick out of going through stationery catalogues), sort out some household chores and then have a relaxing afternoon curled up with a book, before heading back to the church to help set things up for a "youth evening" of a talk, Exposition & Adoration of the Blessed Sacrament, Benediction, pizza and a film.

You know what they say about the best-laid plans of mice and men...

The first bit was fine. Fr. Tim had to go off for some appointment or other, and he left me with the aforementioned stationery catalogue, a few files to print out for the Children's Liturgy group on Sunday, and some leaflets for Confession to photocopy and fold... we have three separate leaflets for young children, teenagers and adults, as the examination of conscience is rather different in each case, and I'd noticed that we were running low.

When I finished the tasks, I left the presbytery, locked the door and started to walk towards the church with all the Confession leaflets ready to put into the rack by the confessional. Suddenly, I heard (and felt) a loud "crack" and my right knee gave way. The pain was excruciating, and I couldn't put my foot to the floor. I nearly collapsed, but the wall of the presbytery got in the way, and I manoeuvred myself down onto a step. Out came the trusty mobile phone, and I called for an ambulance.

I was just debating what to do with the leaflets when a parishioner turned up to polish the brasses. I handed them over to her, and she promised to put them in the church

Two hours later, I found myself in the Accident & Emergency department of the local hospital, being introduced to nitrous oxide. As another friend later pointed out, the gas doesn't actually stop the pain, it just ensures that you really don't care about it. I was confronted by a very stern-looking nurse who insisted that I put down the "thing" I was holding (it was my rosary) and take the glass of water and tablets she had brought. I could hear what she was saying, and I really wanted to co-operate, but I couldn't actually get my hands to co-ordinate and I found myself laughing uncontrollably...

The nurse wasn't impressed, and promptly relieved me of the nitrous oxide.

To be fair, she'd probably had a really long and trying day, and a near-hysterical patient who is incapable of coherent speech is probably not the best way to round things off...

Several X-rays and blood tests later, it was decided that it wasn't a fracture or a blood clot, and I'd probably torn a muscle, and I was given a supply of painkillers, anti-inflammatories and muscle relaxants, a pair of crutches, and an appointment at the fracture clinic in seven days, just to see how I'm getting along...

Needless to say, it could have been worse, and I shall endeavour to offer it up for some poor soul... but prayers would be appreciated!

Privileges Of Being A Teacher...

I moan a lot about how hard work is... but then I have days like today, when I realise how much fun teaching can be.

It's the last week of term and we had a visit from a couple of "animal men" who do this sort of educational animal show. I got to see stick insects, cockroaches (ugh... didn't go near them... but at least I managed to stay in the room), scorpions, various hairy spiders of the bird-eating variety (I didn't touch, but I was pretty close), tortoises, turtles, an albino axolotl, cane toads, geckos, a chameleon, a massive lizard that looked like a monitor lizard but wasn't, several large snakes, including a very large boa constrictor which wrapped its tail around my wrist and cut off the blood supply to my hand (it was well over six feet, and took two people to carry it!) and finally a fledgeling tawny owl and a barn owl.

Pretty impressive, and tremendous fun... and I got to help supervise it all morning.

And I get paid for this stuff...

Another Few Blogs For The Roll...

Checking out my Sitemeter stats (and trying not to get too despondent over my recent dip in visitors) I discovered another new blog which shall be added to the roll.

UPDATE: Since I started the post, I've discovered several new blogs (or new-to-me blogs) all of which I feel are worthy of a shout out!

Ecce Homo, written by Clifford Carvalho, has been going since the start of July, so it is a genuinely new blog, and well worth a visit. He had the good taste to take up my prayer meme (he was tagged by none other than Defend Us In Battle.)

While I'm on the subject of new blogs, check out this one too... Protect the Pope is highlighting all the anti-Catholic bias which is building up in anticipation of the Holy Father's visit.

Shadowlands has a great blog, Living In The Shadowlands...

And I have just discovered Once I Was A Clever Boy by John Whitehead - a Catholic historian at Oriel College, Oxford.

Remember to tell them I sent you!

Ouch !

I'm not entirely certain how one of our intrepid trio managed to cycle into a stationary lamp post... no doubt it jumped into Gregory's path...

Seriously, though, Gregory is recovering after a rather nasty collision; he has, however, been told that he cannot cycle for 7-10 days, and so, after a brief stay with some of the Franciscans of the Immaculate, he will be making his way to Rome by train.

Anna-Marie and Joseph, the dynamic duo, will continue to cycle Romewards. You can still donate (out of sympathy) by visiting their fundraising page.

Prayer Meme...

I haven't seen a meme for ages, not counting that one over on Bara Brith, so I decided to start one of my own.

The rules, which need to be posted: Name your three most favourite prayers, and explain why they're your favourites. Then tag five bloggers - give them a link, and then go and tell them they have been tagged. Finally, tell the person who tagged you that you've completed the meme... The Liturgy and the Sacraments are off limits here. I'm more interested in people's favourite devotional prayers.

First prayer choice for me is the Hail Mary - particularly the bit that asks for prayers at the two times we need them most: now and at the hour of our death.

I found myself praying that prayer particularly fervently as I spun round on the motorway after being hit by an articulated lorry... It occurred to me that I wasn't praying to be saved from the accident (which, as it so happens, I was) but rather I wanted Our Lady to be there as I died. After all, one doesn't normally expect to survive turning upside-down on a motorway in the morning rush-hour when one is in a tiny little car. I still don't know which side of the crash barrier I ended up on. I just know that I closed all six lanes of the motorway, both directions... and it took the fire brigade over 45 minutes to cut me out of the wreckage.

Second choice of prayer is the one to St. Michael the archangel. I like the reminder that the angels are fighting to defend us. I also like the reminder that St. Michael triumphs by the power of God - a salutary antidote to the pride of Satan, who would not serve.

My third prayer is the Stations of the Cross - the version by St. Alphonsus, that is. I am not a fan of the modern versions of the Stations which focus on how "some people" are guilty of various sins... usually with a social justice or environmentally friendly slant. "We pray for those who..." is a phrase which annoys me, in what should be a reflection on what I, personally, have done to offend God, and what I, personally, need to address.

Now, limiting myself to five tags will be difficult, but I want to leave plenty of scope for everyone else. I always hate trying to find someone to tag only to discover they've been tagged already... here goes...

First, I shall plump for Leutgeb over at Bara Brith, as she got me thinking about memes in the first place, so it's sort of her fault. Second, I shall pick Dominic Mary from Libera Me, as he's probably at a bit of a loose end now that the elephants have gone. Third is Clare from Battlements of Rubies, for no particular reason other than I'm interested. Fourth blogger is actually a cheat - Joe and Brian from Defend Us In Battle... whichever one of them answers first. Fifth tag goes to Paulinus, In Hoc Signo Vinces, because he used to do lots of memes...

Of course, if you can't wait to see if someone will tag you, you can tag yourself, and mention it in the com-box!

Why?

Why is it that people get so exercised over the Catholic Church's declaration that she cannot ordain women to the Priesthood?

Being a priest is not a simple matter of playing a part, or performing a role. Ordination is a Sacrament which changes the soul for all eternity.

It's got nothing at all to do with power or equal opportunities.

Men and women are equal before God, but that is not to say that they are the same.

What is so difficult to understand about that?

Conform To The Church...

I get so tired of hearing so-called educated people declaring that the Church has to change and move with the times. What they actually mean is that they want the Church to condone whichever sin they have a particular difficulty in overcoming.

I used to have the same attitude. It's what led me away from the Church.

First nail in the coffin: doubting the authority of the Church (I believe in God, I'm a Christian, but the Church just makes this stuff up because it's got a thing about sex being bad... it's just rules made by celibate men in frocks in the Vatican...)

Next nail: the Sacraments are just representations (well, I don't need to go to church, I can pray just as well at home on my own... Jesus is there anywhere I pray)

Next nail: the Bible (don't be silly - that miracle stuff doesn't happen in real life. It's just a myth, a story told to get a point across...)

Then the next nail in the coffin: Jesus is no longer Son of God (you can't believe all that Resurrection from the dead nonsense... Jesus was just a good and holy man... and he wanted us to love each other unconditionally...)

Next nail: morals. (If we love others unconditionally, we won't judge them. It's wrong to judge others. After all, if it isn't hurting anyone, it must be ok...)

And so on, and so on, until finally, God does not exist. We are just the sum of our experiences and biology, and are here for a few years, and that's it. There is no afterlife, therefore the only thing that matters is the here-and-now... and therefore I will do whatever seems good for me, because that's all there is.

My reversion was a bolt from the blue: I knew God existed, I knew Jesus was the Son of God, I knew that he had died for me, I knew that he knew I would reject him, and knowing this he still died for me... and I also knew that he had left the Church as the living deposit of the Truth. I had to make a decision, and it seemed a pretty straightforward one... It's the same decision we all have to make.

Either you believe that Jesus is the second Person of the Trinity, God the Son, or you don't.

If he is the Son of God, then you have to accept what he said, or there are rather serious implications. God cannot lie. So, the Church, founded on St. Peter, has the authority to loose and to bind.

If you call yourself Catholic, you have to accept the teaching of the Church. All of it. No pick 'n' mix. No cafeteria selection of the bits you like and find easy to swallow. It's all or nothing.

If you start to declare that the Church has to change, then you are no longer accepting the word of Jesus Christ... you are effectively calling God a liar.

And you are no longer Catholic.

OSV Great Catholic Sites...

Our Sunday Visitor puts together an annual Catholic Internet Guide, and they are asking for submissions of favourite sites. To encourage participation, if any of your recommended sites are picked, they'll give you credit (either by full name or initials; your choice) and a free copy of the guide.

Note that there is a link at the bottom of the post HERE - I can't give the direct link, as I've completed the survey and you end up on the final acknowledgement page - presumably to avoid multiple entries. Don't leave your answers as a comment on the actual post - they obviously have an automated survey set up. You also need to know the URLs of each of your favourite sites.

Twitch of the mantilla to Joe over at Defend Us In Battle.

Meme With A Twist...

Leutgeb, over at Bara Brith, alerts us to the news that The Suppository is running a series called "What would you say to the Pope, if you had a Private Audience with him?"

She then starts off with what, in my humble opinion, is the most perfect answer.

Definitely Worth A Re-Post...

I posted on this three years ago, and the LOLcat photo caption reminded me of it. I looked up the post on my mobile phone, and started to read it out to some of my colleagues. I didn't get very far, though, because I kept breaking down in tears...

...so I thought I'd share the laughter - it's been a busy day, and I haven't time to blog on anything else.

How to Give Your Cat a Pill...

1) Pick cat up and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.

2) Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process.

3) Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away.

4) Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.

5) Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call friend.

6) Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get friend to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down, remove ruler and rub cat's throat vigorously.

7) Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered Doulton figures from hearth and set to one side for glueing later.

8) Wrap cat in large towel and get friend to lie on cat with head just visible from below armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force cat's mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw.

9) Check label to make sure pill is not harmful to humans, drink glass of water to take taste away. Apply band-aid to friend's forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.

10) Retrieve cat from neighbour's shed. Get another pill. Place cat in cupboard and close door onto neck to leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band.

11) Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard door back on hinges. Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus shot. Throw Tee-shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.

12) Ring fire brigade to retrieve cat from tree across the road. Apologise to neighbour who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil-wrap.

13) Tie cat's front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table, find heavy duty pruning gloves from shed, hold cat's mouth open with small spanner. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of fillet of steak. Hold head vertically and pour pint of water down throat to wash pill down.

14) Get friend to drive you to the emergency room, sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill remnants from right eye. Call furniture shop on way home to order new table.

15) Arrange for RSPCA to collect cat. Ring local pet shop to see if they have any hamsters.

Pilgrims' Progress...

The intrepid trio are doing pretty well - they crossed the Alps yesterday, hope to be cycling to St Maurice today, and are aiming to be in Italy or somewhere round the border tomorrow.

Wow.

You can check out their progress on the blog, though they are having to use Facebook as well, because the computer they were using wouldn't allow access to the blog.

They have been so encouraged by your support that they have moved the goalposts and upped their fundraising target to £5000... so far they have raised at least £2,407, which is amazing. You can donate online if you still haven't done so.

Juventutem Weekend At Douai Abbey...

I was asked by Damian Barker to advertise a weekend for 18-35 year-olds at Douai Abbey in September.

The weekend will be led by Fr. De Malleray FSSP (head of the international Juventutem Federation) at Douai on 10-12th September 2010. The cost to students will be £25, while for others it is £51; more details can be found on the website, by emailing, or by phoning 07908 105 787.

The Mass on Saturday at 11am promises to be rather special - Ensemble 1685 will be providing the music - and it will be followed by a Marian Procession in honour of Our Lady of Fatima. These events are open to anyone who wishes to attend.

New Blog...

Ok, I'll admit it... it's new to me.

But seriously, this looks like a very good blog indeed... written by Joe and Brian, two "husband-father-attorneys" writing an Alaskan Catholic Blog with a side of Michigan Catholic Blog.

Seeing it was such a good blog, I was heartened to note that my post on angels grabbed their attention.

Anyway, I would advise you to pop on over to Defend Us In Battle, and tell them I sent you!

Moustaches...

I am a tremendous fan of Agatha Christie's novels, especially the ones with Hercule Poirot. I always found Miss Marple a little more difficult to take because of her genteel elderly English spinster ways, but Hercule Poirot, being more Continental, appealed to my nature (I'm half German.)

However, I could never quite picture the moustaches which Christie described as fascinating everyone who saw them. These moustaches made Poirot instantly recognisable... and also made people wonder if he was a hairdresser. Moustaches, in my experience, were simple affairs which adorned a gentleman's upper lip, ranging from Hitler-esque toothbrushes to long caterpillars which extended down to join with a beard. If the moustaches were flourishing, they might be more bushy, as worn by Stalin, but that was pretty much as far as my imagination took me. The film portrayals of Poirot did very little to help. Peter Ustinov, in my opinion, was definitely not Hercule Poirot, and the pictures of him on the cover of my copy of Death on the Nile used to irritate me beyond belief.

When David Suchet started to play Poirot for the TV adaptations, I thought it was a bit closer to the mark. Suchet had succeeded in portraying all the fussiness described by Christie in her novels. But the moustaches still didn't make any sense. Why did Poirot have to struggle to keep his moustaches out of the soup? Suchet's moustaches didn't look as if they would go anywhere near soup unless it was of the cup-a-soup variety...

And then, after the Pontifical High Mass at the end of June, I went to the Buckingham Arms for a little liquid refreshment. As I ordered my pint of "novus ordo Eurofizz" (that's lager, in case you were wondering) I found myself confronted by the most impressive pair of moustaches, I have ever seen... waxed at the points and flourishing profusely... so much so that I asked permission to take a photo.

There is some sort of society for gentlemen who like to grow "proper" moustaches, apparently...

Weird Or What...?

I agree with Patrick Archbold, over at Creative Minority Report, that this is one of the weirdest things you'll read - I mean, it's right up there with Paul the Psychic Octopus...

There is this abortion clinic in Rockford, Illinois. Pro-lifers have been standing outside, offering options and counselling to the women who enter the clinic. After ridicule and harassment of the pro-lifers didn't stop them, the clinic decided to prevent any of the women from hearing what the pro-lifers were saying.

But they weren't content with having people escort the women past the protesters. So they set up huge boom box radios, and started blaring out a local radio station at full volume to put the kybosh on any rational discussion.

That seems pretty weird to me - but it gets weirder.

One of the pro-lifers rang the radio station and explained what was happening. The DJ took the side of the pro-lifers, and started chanting "God bless pro-lifers!"

This upset the people at the abortion clinic.

So, what do you suppose they did? Turn off the radio...? (no, the women would hear those pesky pro-lifers saying reasonable stuff that might persuade them not to kill their babies!) Change the station...? (no, it might happen again, and that would be another pro-life radio station out there!)

Well, what the landlord of the clinic did was to stand outside, and whenever he thought the DJ might just say something pro-life, he started up his chainsaw.

Yes, you read that correctly. A chainsaw.

Nothing like confronting your customers with the truth of what you're doing, I suppose, but I doubt that it makes for good PR...

Angels & Demons...

His Hermeneuticalness is treating the Parish to an examination of the Creed through his sermons at Mass, article by article. This is no lightweight introduction: three weeks in, and we're still on article one.

Yesterday's sermon concentrated on the existence of the angels, and it gave me plenty of food for thought, some of which I hope to share with you here.

It was fascinating to be reminded that the fallen angels have already been vanquished by Christ, through his Passion, Death and Resurrection. C.S. Lewis, in his classic, The Screwtape Letters, pointed out that we are apt either to disbelieve in the existence of the devil altogether, or to believe in him too much, and take an unhealthy interest in him. It is too easy in the current climate to allow oneself to think of the devil as the opposite of God, and therefore view good and evil as opposite sides of the same coin. But the devil, as the first of the fallen angels, is merely a creature, and is therefore subject to God's authority.

Even though the fallen angels are more powerful than all the tanks and bombs in the world (as an acquaintance of Fr. Tim's described it - after having had the experience of meeting one) the good angels are more powerful still, and they will come to help us if we ask. They are not to be confused with fairies or good luck charms - Our Lady was frightened when she encountered St. Gabriel, and had to be reassured. That is one of the reasons I like the portrayal of the archangel in Franco Zeffirelli's Jesus of Nazareth as a bright light, only visible to Our Lady herself, and also I like the picture by Henry Tanner - though I don't think much of his Virgin Mary!

I found Fr. Tim's description of the devil as a chained dog particularly helpful. To any baptised person, the devil has been banished by Christ, and is like a chained dog. However much the dog may snarl and bark, he cannot hurt us... unless we get too close, within the reach of the chain, or worse, actually unchaining him. That is what we do when we dabble in the occult - in tarot cards, crystals, ouija boards, fortune telling, spiritualism, seances and so on. When I was a child, a "magic" shop meant somewhere to get juggling balls, books on card tricks and stuff like that. Now it has a very different meaning, and tarot cards and spell books are on sale in the High Street, marketed for susceptible teenagers.

We also need to pray more to our Guardian angels, and also to the Guardian angels of those we love. I find it inexpressibly comforting to think that I have my very own angel, whose sole aim is to help me get to heaven. Finally, we need to use that prayer to St. Michael, composed by Pope Leo XIII after a vision which left him white and shaking:

Holy Michael the archangel, defend us in the day of battle.
Be our safeguard against the wickedness and snares of the devil.
May God rebuke him, we humbly pray, and do thou, O prince of the heavenly host,
by the power of God,
thrust down to hell Satan, and all wicked spirits
who wander through the world for the ruin of souls. Amen.

Très Amusante...

Londiniensis used to be a frequent commenter here... now he seems to spend more time tweeting. Anyway, he alerted his fellow twitterers to the following advert which is doing the rounds on Facebook...

Sehr amüsant...

Photoshopping...

I couldn't get the whole of the Immaculate Conception Basilica into a single shot, so I took a couple of photos and photoshopped them together.

I think I need to experiment a bit more with Photoshop - I'm not in Vincenzo's league - but it is great fun!

Return Of The Mac...

It feels as if I've been away for ages and ages... in fact, it's only been a week. I wanted a brief break, without feeling as if I had to find something to put up on the blog each day... however, over the past day or so, I've been feeling somewhat restless, and I realised that I really wanted to get back to the blog, despite not having anything important to say...

Leutgeb invited me over for a cup of tea and a chat, so, having tidied the sacristy after the Sunday evening Mass, I went to see her. In the cool of the evening, we decided to sit in the garden, and I admired the various plants... some of which turned out to be weeds.

I never quite understand why some plants are designated as weeds... but then I was never particularly hot on botany. I'm quite content to divide the plant kingdom into flowering plants, trees and bushes. Vegetables exist, but I'm not too fussed about them. Fruit gets tacked on to the flowering plant category.

Anyway, the patch of plant stuff I captured with my iPhone is, apparently, the herb garden bit. Leutgeb broke off leaves from various plants and we rubbed them to release the smells, which were heavenly. She tried to encourage me to grow some herbs in pots on a windowsill - but I pointed out that the kitchen window is the one with the cat flap, which would be inviting disaster, while the others don't get much in the way of sunshine... as well as being the locations where Sylvester likes to sit and watch the world go by... There is also the problem of his tendency to munch on any greenery...

I was given a bunch of lavender to take home, and I promptly stuck it in a tiny vase to sit beside a candle and statue of Our Lady. Hopefully, Sylvester won't notice it up there...