Some Light Relief...

As I sat down in the Cathedral, I spotted Richard Marsden of Bashing Secularism. He came and sat next to me, and I watched, fascinated, as he took detailed notes... in shorthand. I look forward to reading his take on the evening's (lack of) entertainment.

I also spotted Fr. Tim in the audience... taking notes on his PDA. His analysis of the talk will be worth watching out for. UPDATE: It was. It's over HERE.

After the talk, we went for a drink: not the Cardinal Pub round the back of the Cathedral (rumour has it that it is now frequented by trendy liberals!) but the Ha Ha Bar & Grill in the new glass-and-concrete complex just opposite the Cathedral Piazza. This is a far more trendy location... and it has a rather nice area upstairs where you can get drinks brought to your table along with a few bowls of fries (assuming you don't want to have a whole meal, that is!)

The Cardinal's Lectures...

I was unlucky enough to arrange to go to this... Mark Thompson, the Director General of the BBC, was giving a talk on Faith and the Media. I figured that it might be interesting, and I'm on my hols. I should have known better.

The talk was excruciatingly tedious... nothing more than a piece of self-congratulatory advertising for the BBC. Mr Thompson repeatedly stressed that the BBC stood for accuracy and impartiality. Try not to laugh (well, not too loudly.)

An example of how the BBC actually listens to the opinions of its viewers (and listeners) was mentioned several times: Mr Thompson stressed that they had decided to drop the controversial programme Popetown. Strange to say, he failed to mention that the BBC hadn't actually dropped it, but had decided that it might not be expedient to show it on the BBC... not even on BBC3. Instead they decided to sell it overseas... not quite my idea of listening...

Oh yes, Mr. Thompson... I consider the programme offensive, so I don't want to see it on TV, but I'm quite happy for the BBC to peddle the lies and offensiveness about the Church overseas... and please use my licence fee to do this...

The most interesting part of the talk was the question session at the end. Mr Thompson was asked why Christianity (and Catholicism) was considered a valid target for comedy and satire, while Islam and other religions were not. The answer was rather vague, and Mr Thompson's defence was that he'd commissioned "Goodness Gracious Me" which he said lampooned Islam. Actually, I watched a few episodes... it was more a dig at the cultural side of things, certainly not the religious aspects.

When challenged about the decision to show "Jerry Springer, The Opera" Mark Thompson countered with his "but we didn't show Popetown" argument. He also pointed out that there had been several warnings about the content's possible capacity to offend (Oh ! I thought it was advertising... silly me! It was a warning to turn off the TV !!)

One quote which was rather telling: "If you're going to be offended by the subject matter, please don't watch it."

Right. I pay my licence fee so that I can not watch the programmes.

It was rather amusing to note that, despite mentioning the internet, and BBC's I-player site, Mr. Thompson made no mention of the blogs and their role in holding the traditional media to account!

I was very disappointed to see that the "facilitator" for this evening's lecture was none other than Baroness Kennedy of the Shaws, QC. The same Helena Kennedy who has spoken publicly in favour of contraception and a woman's "right to choose" an abortion. She's a great friend of Tony and Cherie Blair - another example of the Cafeteria Catholics so fêted by Cardinal Murphy-O'Connor.

If you can bear it, you can read the lecture HERE.

Sir Dan Of The Nesbitry

This morning I was attending the funeral of the mother of a friend of mine. Actually Christine was also a friend, though not someone I knew well. She was, however, very special, and very kind to me, and I was glad to be able to pay my last respects.

Because she was such a lovely person, there were plenty of people at the funeral, and eight priests concelebrated. As one mourner put it, "I thought one had to be a bishop to get eight priests!"

Among the mourners was Sir Dan of the Nesbitry. He had taught Christine's sons at the John Fisher School in Purley (along with three of the priests, I believe.) I offered Sir Dan a lift home - I believe his trusty steed was on holiday, and while a green Hyundai is a poor substitute for a white charger, it knocks the spots off Shanks's Pony!

Sir Dan is keen on the blogosphere. Somehow or other, despite not having his own computer, he manages to stay abreast of all the latest information, frequently dropping snippets of information into the conversation which sends Fr. Tim, Joanna and me (and probably a few more besides) scurrying to the nearest computer to put up a post or two. His information is always "Spot on, actually."

Anyway, Sir Dan has acquired a snazzy laptop: so, after tea, scones and coffee cake with him and his wife Aine, I was allowed to inspect it. Very nice. Now all Sir Dan needs is the wireless connection to be activated. And then, I'm sure, he'll just have to start up his own blog... Tabletistas beware! Here you can see Dan with his wife Aine and the new computer...

BTW, the photo on the bookcase in the background is Sir Dan shaking hands with the Holy Father...

Looking At Our Lady...

Just under a year ago I completed a meme about Mary. I happened to describe the statue of Our Lady of the Waters, Notre Dame de l'eaux, as one of my favourites. It is in the grounds of St. Bernadette's convent in Nevers, France, and the saint described it as the image of Our Lady which most resembled the apparition in Lourdes. Not an exact likeness, but the closest. This contrasts to the total lack of enthusiasm for the statue most closely associated with Our Lady of Lourdes: St. Bernadette tried not to upset the sculptor, but admitted, "That's not it..." and also, "You have given her a goitre!"

I was lamenting the fact that I couldn't find a picture of Our Lady of the Waters on the internet. I was hoping to take a picture of the souvenir statue I got from the convent in Nevers (strangely, it isn't to be seen anywhere in Lourdes!) but the camera wasn't synchronising with the computer properly, and I forgot...

And then, today, Rosemarie left a comment. There was a picture of Our Lady of the Waters at the bottom of this website... so, without further ado, here she is:

Mac Through The Looking Glass

This morning was positively surreal... I had to go to Abbey Wood, an area no more than 15 minutes' drive from where I live. I used a route that I haven't been down for quite some time, and on my way home, I got lost...

That's right. Lost.

I didn't mind, as the sun was shining, I had my MP3 player playing through the car stereo, and I wasn't in a hurry, but I was driving around in an area I totally didn't recognise... lots of green fields, dual carriageways, diamond-shaped roundabouts (ok, I suspect only one of these, but I saw it more than once so it seemed as if there were lots), industrial estates, and building sites. Lots and lots of building sites.

But no people. And very few pavements (that's "sidewalks" for any of my transatlantic visitors!) As I said, totally surreal...

Action Needed NOW !

For the first time EVER, I am in the running for an award that I actually have a chance of winning. So I'm rather keen to do so.

The 2008 Cannonball Award for best Church Militant blog is mine... at least it ought to be. The problem is that the Catholic Caveman and Fr. Richtsteig of Orthometer are horrendously close. Now it is true that their blogs are better than mine... they may possibly (ok, they are) more militant. But they are also up for other awards too. Whereas I only have this one itty-bitty nomination, and I really, really want to win something.... *snivel... sniff...*

So, go and vote for me... you need to scroll down the sidebar... go on... I shall check SiteMeter later to see if you did... go...

Time To Lighten Up...

After that rant, I now need to do something about my seriously elevated blood pressure. Laughter is the best medicine, so they say (though no-one ever screams "Call a comedian!" when they're injured...) so I thought I'd share this inter-office memo from the Ironic Catholic, regarding the Pope's visit to the U.S. She has some helpful advice and suggestions for the Supreme Pontiff...

Although they're all pretty funny, I think my favourites have to be:

It's probably best that you not turn on the TV. Or the radio.

Could you bless the New York subway system? Goodness knows it needs something.

Hop in to an ordinary daily mass at some point. No big liturgical reason; I'd just like to see the reaction of the presiding priest.

If you see an ad for American Idol, it's a TV show, not apostasy. Well, actually....

If someone identifies him or herself as a blogger, bless them. If they mention my blog, please let me plead my case before excommunication. Thanks!

Warning - Major Rant Imminent !

I was pretty cross before. I am now ABSOLUTELY LIVID !

I have posted previously explaining what my thoughts on Mr. Blair's conversion to Catholicism were, both before and after the event. I haven't always been a faithful Catholic, and I am still far from perfect, so I'm hardly going to lob stones in his direction: I am not calling for Mr. Blair to don sackcloth and ashes. However, it must be noted that he is a public figure, and, Catholics have the right to expect Mr. Blair to hold up his hands and admit that he made mistakes and he is sorry for them.

After all, at his reception into the Church, Mr. Blair swore before God that he believed and professed all that the Church holds to be true...

However, at his speech in The Cardinal's Lectures series, Mr. Blair basically implied that - in much the same way as Prince Charles wishes to be known as Defender of faiths rather than Defender of the Faith - all faiths were pretty much equal.

One wonders why he bothered to convert, if that is his true opinion.

Anyway, despite letters from John Smeaton (Director of SPUC) asking if Mr. Blair will repudiate some of the more blatant anti-life legislation he supported in Parliament, no such statement has been forthcoming. Instead, Tony Blair stated quite clearly in his lecture that he regretted nothing he did whilst in office. Fr. Tim has a summary (and a link to the transcript) HERE.

I consider the silence of the English and Welsh hierarchy on this matter to be a real slap in the face for many Catholics who, because they are faithful to the Church, are unable to receive the Sacraments.

I have read comments on other blogs expressing the opinion that Mr. Blair will have had to give assurances to Cardinal Cormac Murphy-O'Connor, who received him into the Church, that he did indeed support the Church's teaching on matters of abortion, euthanasia, contraception and homosexuality.

Well, whatever he said to the Cardinal, he obviously didn't mean it. LifeSite reports the news that Mr. Blair has been involved in fundraising for Stonewall, England’s largest and most well-known homosexual activist organization. At its annual fundraising dinner a few days ago, the opportunity to have tea with Tony Blair secured a bid of £20,000 in an auction held at the dinner.

Sadly, it appears that Fr. Finigan's biretta is perfectly safe. Twitch of the mantilla to the Catholic Caveman for spotting this one.

More on Vocations

Since my last post on the "Pray for Seminarians by name" initiative, Brad Watkins, Assistant to the Director of Vocations in the Diocese of Raleigh, United States, has been in touch. They have given out 15,000 cards in the past year asking people to pray for the seminarians by name. He also asked if I could plug his own blog, Roman Catholic Vocations, which I am more than happy to do. The blog has posts relevant to anyone interested in vocations to the priestly or religious life (so don't be surprised at photos of nuns!)

Mark, over at Rise and Pray, is involved with a couple more vocations blogs - Traditional Vocations Blog (for men and women) and FSSP Vocations Scotland and Ireland (an unofficial site which has great admiration for the work of the Priestly Fraternity of St. Peter.) Mark has more details asking for people to help HERE.

Old Cats And New Tricks...

Hmmm. I posted my amazement that Sylvester had succeeded in attracting my attention by dipping his paw in water and shaking it at me.

It wasn't a one-off. This morning, as breakfast was a little later than usual in making an appearance, he decided to see if the same method could be employed as an effective alarm call...

I felt all four of his paws. Only one was wet.

This is not good news...

Being Very British...

...I thought it was about time I blogged about the weather! I woke up this morning to find that snow had not only fallen, but it had settled. Everything was completely covered in soft, fluffy snow, the sort that looks beautiful and isn't hard and compacted (and slippery.) Looking at the trees and gardens on my way to Mass was a visual treat, but I was running a little late and so didn't manage to get a photo. However, after Mass, a few of the servers and their friends shot out into the garden to make a snowman...

Unfortunately, they were soon distracted from snowman-construction by the far more alluring delights afforded by pelting each other with snowballs...

Dressed all in black, Fr. Tim proved to be an irresistible target... Check out his view of the matter HERE.

And this was the point at which I decided to beat a hasty retreat...

I was just delighted that it happened in the holidays... I didn't have to be a miserable wet-blanket, keeping kids away from the snow for reasons of "Health and Safety" !!

Praying For Vocations...

Fr. Ray Blake has a post about an initiative from the diocese of Raleigh in the US: they have a poster asking people to pray for the diocesan seminarians by name.

I think this is a fabulous idea. It makes the idea of vocations to the priesthood much more immediate, and young men can see that the men preparing for the priesthood look, well, pretty normal... rather like themselves, in fact!

Fr. Stephen Langridge, the Vocations Director for Southwark has been responsible for some pretty neat posters lately... he might consider trying something along these lines!

Patience Rewarded...

...though it's nothing fancy. I tried to make an automatic "old" film, but the computer over-analysed the photos available, and missed out the ones from the Consecration... which is definitely not on! Then I tried to do it myself, by making all the photos sepia... but that just didn't look quite right. So then I went back to square one, and just put in simple fade transitions (simple, but time-consuming) and, as the video was a trifle too long (there were 308 photos once I got rid of the blurred ones!) I then had to go through and decide which ones should come out...

The music is from Plainsong for Parishes by Schola Cantamus... I didn't manage to record the visiting schola we had at Blackfen, but they were very good too!

In the meantime, enjoy!

An Exercise In Patience

I am not a patient person. It is one of my (many) faults. I am trying to put together a little video of this morning's Missa Cantata (which was wonderful.) Unfortunately the computer program keeps freezing. Possibly the computer is objecting to the large number of photographs I took...

...watch this space!

Bar Buddy Wanted...

Mike Hammond just wants his dad to have a bit of a social life. His 88-year-old father had to move closer to his family, in assisted housing... but this meant moving away from his friends. Mike goes out to the pub with his dad once a week, but feels he needs to get out a bit more...

“He is a very intelligent man with a physics and math degree,” Mike told the Daily Mail. “He used to go to the pub three or four times a week and have a couple of halves of Fosters with a neighbour who was of a similar age. It's the company he misses more than anything.”

...and so Mike's advertised for a person to accompany his dad to the pub. And he's offering to pay £7 ($14) an hour, plus expenses!

Twitch of the mantilla to the Digital Hairshirt for spotting this one!

I'm Getting So Hacked Off With These Numbskulls...

William obviously has far more patience than me. It's either that, or he suffers from hypotension, and prefers "natural" remedies to drugs. Somehow or other he manages to follow the debates in the House of Lords.

He reported that, yesterday, two Peers attacked the Catholic Church, blaming her for the incidence of HIV/AIDS in Africa. Baroness Flather actually went as far as to say that if the Catholic Church instructed people to use condoms, there would be an instantaneous change.

Right. Those people who are so blasé about ignoring the Church's teaching on chastity are going to be quaking in their boots because the Church says they'll go to Hell because they use condoms.

Not.

(Just in case there's any doubt, "chastity" means no sex unless you're married, whether you consider yourself to be hetero-, homo-, bi- or trans-sexual, and if you are married, then sex is with your spouse, and only your spouse. "Spouse" is another technical term - it means "person of the opposite sex to whom a person is married in the eyes of God." There. That wasn't so hard to understand, was it?)

To make the issue even clearer, William makes a very telling point.

According to Baroness Flather's reasoning, the country in Africa with the lowest number of Catholics should have the lowest number of HIV/AIDS cases, because there are fewer people to be led astray by that nasty Pope who forbids the use of condoms.

Strange to tell, it ain't so.

The country in Africa with the lowest population of Catholics is South Africa. They have the highest HIV infection rate.

But just in case you haven't drawn the logical conclusion, it turns out that the African country with the highest population of Catholics, Uganda, has the lowest HIV infection rate. They encourage abstinence.

Now, why do you think that this message hasn't gotten through to the likes of Baroness Flather?

Another (Almost) Local Blog...

Volpius Leonius is from Hexham & Newcastle Diocese. Not quite sure exactly where Newcastle is (north of London... south of Scotland... my geography is about on par with my Latin...) but it's in merry old England, which makes him a local lad. Almost.

Never having studied any Latin, I was scouring my brains (and Google) for some sort of reference to Volpius Leonius. Sadly, neither Google nor "I Claudius" were of any help. Robert Graves' novel is one of my favourites, and a large chunk of my knowledge of Roman history (ok, I'll be honest... MOST of it...) comes from that source!

I was delighted to find that I could make a pretty good stab at translating the quote under the blog title, albeit a bit wobbly on the tense. Go and have a try for yourself HERE.

A New Local Blog...

I just had a comment from JoannaB. I think she's commented before, but I assumed it was Joanna Bogle of Auntie Joanna Writes fame. This time the comment sounded most un-Joanna-ish (I don't think I've ever heard her say "Cool !"... she's more of a "Gosh !" type.) So I looked at the profile.

Sure enough, JoannaB is another Joanna, and she has her own blog: Every Day Catholic Woman. Exploring a little, I discovered that she lives in Kent and is a grandmother (she looks disgracefully young to be a grandmother, I think... but it isn't her in the photo!) I also spotted a face in the sidebar I recognised... none other than Fr. Roger Nesbitt, parish priest of Our Lady, Help of Christians, Folkestone, Kent, and co-founder of the Faith Movement.

So, pop on over to Joanna's blog and say hallo...

Maybe That Explains A Lot...

Apparently, that composer of ditties so beloved of "trained liturgists" has been responding to criticisms of the musical arrangements for the U.S. Papal visit.

Marty Haughen isn't actually a Catholic...

Ahhhh. Now we know why his songs (I can't quite bring myself to call them "hymns"... or even "hers" !) are so devoid of Catholic doctrine.

It doesn't explain why the tunes are so dire.

Nor does it explain why, given that everyone knows the Pope is an aficionado of Mozart and his ilk, the organisers would want to have the "Mass of Creation" as a setting...

BTW... In case anyone thinks I have a real bee-in-my-bonnet about bad hymns (I have) and that since they're only harmless songs, it hardly matters (it does), it might be worth noting that Arius used to spread his heresies deliberately by way of popular hymns. So did Luther.

Ways To Relieve Stress...

William on the Hill sent these to me by email. I had received them before, a few years back, and was sure that I'd posted them... however, a quick search failed to bring up more than a reference to Number 1... Not prepared to look a gift-horse in the mouth, I decided to remedy the omission...

1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.

2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.

3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.

4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "in."

5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.

6. In the memo field of all your cheques, write "for sexual favours."

7. Finish all your sentences with "in accordance with the prophecy."

8. Don't use any punctuation marks.

9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.

10. Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.

11. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."

12. Sing along at the opera.

13. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.

14. Put mosquito netting around your work area. Play a tape of jungle sounds all day.

15. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you've got a headache.

16. When the money comes out the ATM, scream "I won!, I won! Third time this week!"

17. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling "run for your lives, they're loose!!"

18. Tell your children over dinner: "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."

Oh, and as the post where I made a reference to gag number 1 had a funny video attached, I thought I'd re-post it...