I Got Tagged

Oooh, another meme. Who thinks these things up? They need professional help...

Anyway, I've been tagged by the upside-down pastor, Fr Dwight Longenecker, to reveal "my four favorite saints, one favorite blessed, and one person I think should have been a saint"

I'm assuming that Our Lady doesn't qualify (if you know what I mean) because I could use up my four favourites by just invoking my favourite titles for her: Our Lady of Lourdes, Our Lady of Fatima, Our Lady of Rocamadour, Our Lady of Grace, Our Lady of Walsingham... oops, more than four, and I haven't quite finished...

Limiting myself to just four saints is going to be extremely tricky. I collect saints for various occasions...

*sigh* well, if I can only have four, then, in no particular order, it has to be:


St. Alphonsus Liguori (the stuff he wrote, especially on Our Lady and the Rosary, is just brilliant. And mind-blowing.)

St. Louis-Marie Grignion de Montfort (for his Total Consecration to Jesus through Mary outlined in "True Devotion to Mary")

St. Francis de Sales (for pointing out, in his book "An Introduction to the Devout Life" that we are all called to holiness, whatever our state in life)

St. John Fisher (awesome English Bishop, who preferred to be martyred than accommodate the political powers of his time... a few more Bishops like him, and the country would probably not be going down the pan quite as spectacularly as it is right now!!)

And four female saints... (you didn't really expect me to follow such mean-spirited rules, did you?)

St. Bernadette (I adore Lourdes, but ever since I saw St. Bernadette's incorrupt body at the convent in Nevers, I have been completely smitten with her.)

St. Anne Line (I've explained elsewhere why I like this feisty woman. A great martyr for the Faith!)

St. Cecilia (another martyr: but as she is the patron saint of church music, I feel we possibly need her help in getting rid of the heretical hymnals... I feel an auto da fe coming on...)

Finally, last but most definitely not least, St. Catherine Labouré. I know very little about her, but I have a real attachment to the Miraculous Medal, and I want to go and see her incorrupt body at the Rue de Bac.


My favourite blessed is a little tricky... I think I'm going to cheat again, and vote for a Venerable...

...in which case I'm having Venerable Louis of Granada - apparently a favourite writer of St Teresa of Avila... and his book, "The Sinner's Guide" is fabulous.

Ok, now for the "should have been a saint" category... I think Dean Peyramale (parish priest of Lourdes at the time of the Apparitions) gets this slot. When I first went to Lourdes, I couldn't understand why he was commemorated everywhere, as the books I had read had cast him in a rather unfavourable light. I have since read a lot more, and the film "Bernadette" by Jean Delannoy helped to show what an awkward spot he was in to begin with, and how he really defended Bernadette once he became convinced the Apparitions were genuine.

There's a great account given in one of the books I read... Bernadette had reported that the lady had asked for a chapel... only, being a little discouraged by the priest's expression, she added that it didn't have to be big, "just a little one!" Dean Peyramale declared that he wanted a sign: if the bush in the grotto could be made to bloom, in February, then she could have her chapel... "And it won't be a little one. Oh no, it will be a nice big one!" said the Dean, who didn't believe in being shabby...

This is so often the attitude of the saints (and so often at odds with the post-Vatican II liberal trendies) - poverty was observed only in their private lives. Everything for the worship of God was the very best that could be afforded. Churches, chalices, monstrances, tabernacles, altar cloths, vestments... all made of the best, most precious materials, and decorated with care and love... There seems to be a lesson (or two) in there somewhere!!

Fine, now, upon whom shall I inflict this...?

Heheheheh... Northern Cleric, I think!

Blessing Of Animals

I am totally besotted with my cat, Sylvester, and he knows it. He can twist me round his paw, no problem.

However, one day he will die. I have no intention of getting a plot in the pet cemetary, or holding a Requiem... and I have caused outrage and upset in previous years when telling pupils firmly that animals do not have immortal souls in the same way humans do, so I do not expect to meet Sylvester at the Pearly Gates (assuming that's where I fetch up!) This is probably just as well, because I would be slightly disconcerted to encounter St. Francis of Assisi surrounded by a few hundred of my ex-research associates (the pink-eyed, sharp-toothed and long-tailed variety!!)

So the following snippet, courtesy of Antonia, amused me greatly:

A priest friend of my husband's was once asked if he ever did any special blessings over animals.

His reply: I pray over animals every day... I call it "Grace".

Heheheheh!

Nephew Update

The latest photo of my nephew... I have to say that I'm a little concerned by the "rabbit-in-headlights" expression he keeps adopting whenever there's a camera in the vicinity! Maybe he'll grow out of it!

I do think he's totally gorgeous....

New Discoveries

Exploring the blogosphere (well, actually I had a tip-off from Anne in the com-box, and I was checking out my stats on SiteMeter) I have discovered two more blogs to add to my roll...

First up, courtesy of Anne, is Vive Jesus! which is written by Ali, a Roman Catholic Mexican. I'm a bit slow: no indication in the profile as to whether Ali was male or female... but a previous blog was mentioned: "Pray the News" (now defunct) so I explored that for clues. I liked the by-line: "Lets change the world, one piece of news, one prayer at a time." but still had no joy in identifying Ali (I had the strong idea that it was a woman, though I didn't know why!)... then I clocked the by-line on Vive Jesus: "Musings of a daughter of Saint Francis of Sales." Yes, I'd say that pretty much makes it definite!!

Second discovery is A Thorn in the Pew. The Thorn has only been posting since January (so I don't feel quite so bad about not having spotted her before!) She has a truly awesome banner (is that what it's called?) at the top of her blog... I am very jealous... and she is also refreshingly direct about her trad credentials.

*sigh* So much to read, so little time...

Aha! I Always Suspected I Was Misunderstood!!

You Are 47% Tortured Genius

You are very smart and a little bit tortured. Like a tortured genius in training. You're brilliant enough to see how screwed up the world is. Just don't let it screw you up!

Are You a Tortured Genius?

Mantilla twitched in Jeffrey's direction!

Anyone Fancy Another Caption Contest?

"What was that you asked? When's the what coming out? You'll have to speak a little louder..."

Twitch of the mantilla to the American Papist for the photo.

I Won !!

For the first time ever, I have won a caption competition... I don't think I have a prize coming my way, but the kudos, link and anticipated increased visitor numbers will more than suffice...

...especially since I think my caption was in rather poor taste...



...so you'll have to go and visit the Ironic Catholic to find out what it was...

;-)

Pilgrimage Preparations

This evening we had a meeting for all the people going on our Parish Pilgrimage to Lourdes. Fr Tim did most of the hard work - he gave a brief introduction to the Domaine and explained what the main activities of the pilgrimage would be.

My job was getting wine and nibbles ready, and going through some of the boring but necessary details about travelling by air... like the fact that only one piece of hand luggage is allowed (no surprises there) and that no liquids can be taken as hand luggage into France, unless they are in containers of no more than 100ml and carried through security in a clear bag. Also, only one piece of luggage is allowed as check-in baggage. This is only really a problem on the return flight. In my experience, lots of little old ladies seem to return from Lourdes with gallons of water as part of their luggage. BA apparently charge for extra bags/containers... at £60 per container (no matter how small), it would be cheaper to get the stuff posted home.

I was trying not to sound too school-marm-ish... and probably failing miserably. This was the first time I realised how many people we have on the trip: twenty-five adults and three children... and boy, it looks like a big group when they're all together!!

I have to say that it was a very enjoyable evening: helped, no doubt, by the fact that it was one of the rare occasions when I allowed myself to leave my car behind, and therefore I could have a glass or two of wine...

Lord, Have Mercy On Their Souls...

...the souls of all those involved in carrying out abortions. While I wouldn't want to condemn any woman for having an abortion (only God knows how anyone can be brought to the point where taking an innocent human life seems like the "best" option!), with the advances in medical technology, the medical staff who perform these procedures must be more and more culpable...

If you can truly convince yourself that it isn't a child, but just a bunch of cells, a blob of tissue, then it is almost understandable. But when we find out that aborted foetuses can actually survive the procedure...

The case of the Norwich toddler who survived three botched abortions, and was born at 24 weeks made me go cold all over.

Apparently, babies surviving abortion for a few hours (and sometimes even just being left to die) is not uncommon. The photo shown here is of Gianna Jessen, who suffered cerebral palsy as a result of a botched abortion. Read more about babies surviving abortion over at Fr. Ray's blog. You'll need a strong stomach.

Back To Normal !

Whoops... nearly forgot. After the austerities of Lent, and last week's feasting for the Easter Octave, I nearly forgot about Fridays!!


*sigh* I guess that pepperoni pizza won't be on the menu today. Twitch of the mantilla and an Ave Maria to my Guardian Angel for reminding me before I phoned for the pizza!!

If It's Fruit, It's Good For You...

I was walking innocently past various shops in Bluewater when I was cunningly ambushed by a window display: a huge cherry.

I'm not really into fruit. But this was no ordinary cherry. It had rather a lot of chocolate lovingly dripped over it. Now, when I was much younger, my mother (who is German) used to make me a proper Black Forest cherry gateaux for my birthday. And I mean a proper one. She used to get the cherries pre-soaked from some continental food specialist shop, and then she would soak the bottom sponge layer in kirsch (and we'd drink a glass of kirsch for good measure!) and the cherries were enough to send you over the limit (luckily, I didn't drive in my early teens)... and then more kirsch... Each year, one of my presents would be this cake: it was so much hassle to make that it was a once-a-year production!

When my (English) stepfather appeared on the scene, he wanted to get a really special Black Forest gateaux as a special birthday present, and went to Harrods and ordered one... but the sponge was typical shop-bought sponge, and there wasn't any kirsch, and the bottom layer of cherries was more cherry jam... but he'd meant well, and so, because we didn't want to hurt his feelings, that was the end of the home-made version. And a couple of years later I left home, and birthday cake was no longer on the menu, so to speak...

So, today, all of my birthday cake memories came flooding back in an instant. Mesmerised by the display, I wandered inside the shop... just over the threshold with half a toe... to be greeted by a shop assistant... with samples...

...ummm. And it must be good for me, because it's dark chocolate (55% cocoa solids) and cherries are full of vitamins.

To be fair, I think that Green & Black's chocolate is better. But this comes a pretty close runner-up, and if you're in the mood for a hit of kirsch, then this wins hands down. Even better (or should that be worse?) I find that they do online ordering... visit them HERE.

Toddlers Tell It Like It Is...

Newhousenewjob (who will surely have to come up with a new moniker soon... it isn't that new anymore!!) has this salutary warning for all those who come into contact with the little people: they listen, they remember... and they repeat!

A Day To Remember !!

I watched this two years ago on cable TV in the parish hall (no cable tv at home at the time!) I remember all the assurances that they couldn't possibly have elected anyone so fast (only the day after the conclave opened) and that the smoke was black... well, grey... no, the crowd had got it wrong: they were cheering, but bells had been promised if the Pope had been elected... and that smoke was awfully light grey, almost white, really... and the crowd were certainly cheering... oh, and there go the bells, Esmerelda...


Mantilla-twitch to Fr. Ray Blake

Another Tear-Jerker

Ok, get the tissues out... I made the mistake of watching this without any handy, and ended up having to dry my eyes using my sleeves (which are now sopping wet!) Twitch of the mantilla to Esther...


The cynic in me thinks that this option is going to get harder and harder for Catholic married couples, because with the SORs, the Adoption Agencies are going to have to fill their "quotas" of homosexual couples wanting to adopt (to prove that they're not discriminating against anyone on the basis of their sexuality... though it'll be ok to discriminate against Catholics!) and the increase in abortions means that fewer and fewer babies are placed for adoption...

...how can anyone think that it's better to kill a child than give it up for adoption? That seems so like the dog-in-the-manger attitude: if I won't have the baby, then no-one else will!

We have to pray for a change of heart.

From The Sublime To The Ridiculous...

...after the sublime Lux et Origo setting for yesterday's High Mass, we are brought down to earth by Paulinus (who has Squatter's Rights over at the Recusant Cricket Club.)

Check out his questions for folk choirs... though I think he missed the most important one, namely: "Why?"

I think my favourites have to be numbers 4 and 8:

Why are folk groups nearly always 'led' by a woman - not very inclusive is it? (and if you are so keen on actuosa particpatio why is everything pitched for castrati?)

Given that proper folk artists like Kate Rusby produce music which is by turns melodic, plaintive or joyous, how come most folk groups sound like The Wurzels?

A Little Light Relief

I needed a little more light relief after my "feminist" rant-ette. Luckily I found the following:


(My comment would be "No Motu Proprio until the clown who put glue in my hair gel owns up!" but feel free to caption away - Carolina's got the caption contest going strong too...)


Both were on the Canonball's excellent blog: and while you're there, remember to make a donation towards her trip to Rome.

If I Were Pope...

Heheheheh... I had no idea I was soooo traditional!

Which Twentieth Century Pope Are You?

You are Pope St. Pius X. You'd rather be right than newfangled.
Take this quiz!








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Mantilla-twitch to Fr. Finigan.

Women's Voice Silenced By The Church?

At the risk of appearing, chameleon-like, to have changed my spots, I think I would just like to have a wee rant-ette about the silencing of women by the Church...

Not, I hasten to add, by the Church's Magisterium... (Long live our beloved Holy Father, Pope Benedict XVI !!)

...but there does seem to have been a little air-brushing going on in Southwark...

It was drawn to my attention that someone had been taking photos for the Southwark Diocese website at the Chrism Mass this year. So I went to have a look. Sure enough, there are lots of photos. I was sure that there would be one picture of a placard saying "Thank you to our priests," demonstrating the appreciation felt by the vast majority of women in the diocese. I know that the gesture was noted by priests.

However, despite being in a perfect position right at the Cathedral gates (outside the precincts... one year, one girl was physically manhandled out by the Dean, in case we upset the pro-women's ordination group who were also outside) it would seem that no attempt was made to capture a shot of these placards, or of the sizable group applauding the priests as they processed in...

It wouldn't have been difficult to take a snap of this mark of respect and love for the ministerial priesthood... in fact, if you look at the screenshot of the pictures from the website, you can just see a corner of one of the placards...


So it would seem that the cry of the feminists has an element of truth in it: the voice of women in the Church is being silenced...

...or perhaps it is only the voice of women faithful to the Magisterium?

Another Blogstone Passed...

...ooops. I've just realised that the title is somewhat misleading. No I am not suffering from any digestive tract disorders... or any other tract disorders...

Instead, I am hopping with glee... I have gone through the 20,000 visitor mark. Very small beer for some of you uber-blogger types, but I nearly didn't start this blog because I was worried that (a) I would run out of things to say, and (b) no-one would bother to read whatever I did say...

Well, anyone who knows me personally can reassure you that there will be snowballs in hell before option (a) happens...

...and over 20,000 visitors (not page views, I hasten to add... they're over 32,000!) within my first year of blogging seems to put paid to my fears on (b). It has just occurred to me that, if I'd charged each one of you £1, I'd have £20,000 to spend at Bluewater... and then could have blogged about the purchases!!

Don't worry, it's still free... But a big "thank you" for continuing to visit!

UPDATE: Looks like Mrs Jackie Parkes was visitor 20,000 (at 10:19am) - Congratulations, you win a Hail Mary!!

More On That High Mass...

I bruised my thumb in a good cause! Fr. Tim has taken the photos from his snazzy camera and turned them into an equally snazzy video. I could make you go to his blog to see the result, but hey, I guess I can claim co-authorship (or whatever the visual equivalent is!)


Mind you, most people who visit my blog are bound to have seen it already... at least I got my write-up done a day before he did... (don't be fooled by the date... it wasn't there this morning!!)

Uh-Oh...

I went to Bluewater this afternoon. I walked right past the Krispy Kreme Doughnut shop. And then I turned round and walked in...

...they have a "new" doughnut: the chocolate dreamcake.

Well, I just had to try one, just in the interests of blogdom... I mean, you want to know what it tasted like, right?

I'll tell you when I've finished the second one... or maybe the third, just to be absolutely sure it wasn't a fluke...

Classical Rite High Mass

Oooh, I had a real treat today! We had a Classical Rite Mass at Blackfen... not quite sure what occasioned the get-together of eight clerics, but I'm not one to look a gift horse in the mouth, so I made sure that I was able to get to it...

Fr Tim had obviously gotten ideas from the video of the altar transformation which has been doing the rounds of the blogosphere... here you can see three priests in choir just before the Mass started...

I was put in charge of Fr. Tim's snazzy camera. However, he knows me well, and so he was careful to set it up on a tripod, and tell me the key moments he wanted captured for posterity (and more importantly, for his blog!) I proved my blonde credentials by being totally unable to find the "on" switch... being unashamedly blonde, I was able to confess my ignorance in plenty of time (in front of several clerics, which took a certain amount of courage!)

The concentration required for the pressing of buttons meant that I could only take a very few on my own phone camera (Fr. Tim's camera is not user-friendly, and the "remote" release mechanism wasn't very remote... and required a fair bit of force to operate it. My thumb still feels sore!) I have photos of the First Gospel being read as the snazzy camera (being firmly fixed in position) couldn't get it...

The Mass was awesome... the Mass setting was (I think) Lux et Origo and it was just chanted unaccompanied. Goosepimples-down-spine time! There were four or five adult servers (the boys Fr. Tim has been training up for the Old Mass couldn't make it, as they were back at school!) and it was beautiful. The silence during the Consecration took my breath away. And watching the carefully choreographed movements of priest, deacon, sub-deacon and servers was spell-binding (now that's what I call liturgical dance!!)

I like the Novus Ordo, it's the Mass I'm most familiar with, and when it's done well, it is beautiful too. But the Classical Rite is, I think, intrinsically more reverent, and therefore has more of the numinous about it...

Bring on the Motu Proprio, and make it pronto!

Restore Our Holydays !

Spotted over at Fr. Tim's blog: a call to restore the Holydays of Obligation to their rightful place... like having the Ascension forty days after Easter Sunday rather than having it side-lined to the nearest Sunday.

Pop on over to sign the online petition HERE.

Horrible Day

On a more sombre note, it seems to be a day for awful things...

I heard about the shootings in Virginia Tech, USA. This is really horrible. I haven't heard any speculation about what provoked the shootings. That will happen soon enough.

Then a friend texted me to say that there had been a shooting in the Tesco store she was shopping in this evening, in Thornton Heath (that's part of South London), though I don't know if there were any fatalities - she's ok, Deo gratias, though obviously very shaken.

And then I got a text message from another friend to say that a mutual friend (and ex-colleague) had dropped dead yesterday. We have to wait for the post-mortem, but it looks like a heart attack. Elfrida was younger than me, and she leaves behind a husband and two young children.

Of your charity, please pray for the repose of all their souls... Requiescat in pace.
And a Hail Mary for those left behind...

Happy, Happy Day

Happy 80th Birthday, Holy Father !
Ad Multos Annos

Sad, Sad Day...

...OK, so no Motu Proprio today...
*sigh*

However, checking the Vatican Website, I noticed that they had a section labelled "Bulletin of the Holy See Press Office under embargo" so something seems to be afoot...

More On Relics

Once I stopped stuffing my face full of chocolate (Green & Blacks, so it's good for me... and it's organic, so there are bound to be lots of vitamins, right? Hey, everyone is on at me to eat more organic stuff!!) I was able to turn my attention back to the Blogosphere...

Fr. Dwight Longenecker has put up an excellent post on why we, as Catholics, put so much emphasis on physical reminders of our faith. Especially relics.

I intend to do a post on relics soon (partly prompted by the discussion Ma Beck started in the com-box a short while back)... but I think I might wait for people to forget that Fr Dwight already did such a brilliant post... and then I can snaffle some of his ideas!

Heaven... I'm In Heaven...

When I was on retreat at Aylesford, I was responsible for organising drinks and nibbles for the evening get-together. Green & Black's chocolate made an appearance, but as I didn't know what people liked, I bought a selection.

There was quite a bit left over. No-one would take it home. So I did. But once off retreat, it was back on the Lenten resolution wagon...

So I hid the chocolate...

My Guardian Angel must have been in on this one, because I genuinely forgot about the chocolate. I have just found it again...

...I'll resume posting later!!

Happy Easter Octave Day!

I Knew There Was A Reason I Hate Vegetables

I wonder how much the actors had to be paid to do this? I almost wish I knew what they were saying... almost...


Twitch of the mantilla to Scorpion Stalking Duck

Now There's An Idea...

Carolina Cannonball wants to go to Rome. I'm not entirely sure Rome is ready for her ascerbic and penetrating wit...

However, Carolina needs to raise about $2000, so she's started a bleg. If you're looking for somewhere to send your spare change, pay her a visit HERE.

And Look What I Found...

I just decided to have a look at SiteMeter. I've been neglecting it for a while (especially as visitor numbers have been down a little!) To my amazement, I saw that yesterday I had over 240 hits. Now I'd only put up two posts, one on getting a parking ticket and one on the ICEL translation, and neither of them would seem to account for the massive increase in traffic.

So I had a look at the visitors on Friday. Rather a lot of the referrals seemed to come from Fr. Longenecker's blog, where he put up a link to the Low-to-High Altar Metamorphosis video (thank you kindly, Father!) But what really caught my attention was the fact that several visitors had strayed into my blog from a site called "Feminine Genius."

As you may have gathered, I am no fan of modern feminism. And I border on the vitiolic when it comes to politically correct "inclusive" language, especially in the Liturgy. So I rather expected a site on feminine genius to be rather dismisive towards my little blog, and I promptly followed up the link to see what was going on.

Well, how wrong could I be? Feminine Genius is an excellent blog written by Genevieve Kineke. It seems that she is also the author of a book, "The Authentic Catholic Woman." The name rang a bell, and I couldn't remember why, but after a little more digging, I discovered that Joanna Bogle reviewed the book back in February (and very favourably too!)

So, I am honoured to have been given a little link by Genevieve, and I think I shall add the book to my list of Amazon purchases... Watch this space!

Let's Have A Little Fun Here...

Just to wind everyone up, I thought I'd try my hand at creating my very own poll...

Shameless Joke Snaffle

Yes, I nicked this from Just Doing My Best... the difference between knowledge and wisdom...

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit.

Wisdom is not putting it in your fruit salad.

Product Recall

This is just soooooo good, you have to go over to Fr. Gonzales' blog (Overheard in the Sacristy) to read the full text.

Just a snippet to whet your appetite:

"The Maker of all human beings is recalling all units manufactured, regardless of make or year, due to a serious defect in the primary and central component of the heart. This is due to a malfunction in the original prototype units code named Adam and Eve, resulting in the reproduction of the same defect in all subsequent units.

"This defect has been technically termed "Subsequential Internal Non-morality," or more commonly known as S.I.N., as it is primarily expressed."

Nephew Update

Well, my nephew is growing rapidly. My brother-in-law has been taking photos (several of the birthday-suit variety which will, no doubt, be brought out when the poor boy brings home his first girlfriend!) and I thought it was time to do a baby post...

So here you can see one of the first "proper clothes" outings. I have to admit that this was a sudden reminder that the baby is indeed a little boy: up until now, he has been in typical "unisex" baby clothes...

First Mass

Yesterday we were really privileged to have a visit from a newly ordained priest, Fr. Agnellus FI. He was ordained at the end of March, and at the end of Mass we were able to receive his blessing. As there is a plenary indulgence attached (as I seem to recall) to the "first" blessings of a newly-ordained priest, this was an opportunity not to be missed!

The Franciscan Friars of the Immaculate are a new order in this country: there are now three of the community based in Brockley. They are more well-established in the Phillipines and in Italy. Fr. Agnellus told me about one of the founders, Fr Stefano Maria Manelli, and how he was an altar server for St. Pio of Pietrelcina. Wow!

Together with the Franciscan Sisters of the Immaculate, the Friars seem to be the driving force behind the fantastic "Day With Mary" initiative. I posted about this when they came to Blackfen: it is such an uplifting experience.

You can read more about the work of the Franciscans of the Immaculate HERE and HERE. There is also a video site, Air Maria (and no, that wasn't a typo!!) which is well worth exploring...

ICEL Translation Latest

The "latest" draft of the new translation of the Mass seems not so much to have been the cat let out of the bag, as to be the Beast of Bodmin clawing its way out, ripping the bag to shreds and savaging the hand round the top to boot...

Wow... I think we've been seriously short-changed over the years...

Now, as kitty is definitely out and on the prowl, how about getting a move on with actually printing the books and issuing whatever is necessary so that we can start to use the proper texts in the Novus Ordo Mass...

Fine. It's all over the blogosphere. It's way better than anything we've seen up till now. Time to quit stalling.

UPDATE: Heheheh... now the Telegraph (Damian Thompson's "Holy Smoke" blog, at any rate) has gotten a hold of it. Watch the pigeons panic now!!

Virtue Is Its Own Reward

Ummm. So they say. I am doing my best to offer this up. I had to dispose of an old inkjet printer, which worked perfectly well (albeit slowly) but was now surplus to requirements. There were even several brand new, unopened ink cartridges with it. And the cables. It all worked.

No time to mess about with ebay. It was suggested that I bring it to the local council dump/recycling centre but it seemed to be a shocking waste of printer...

...so I decided to donate it to a charity shop. I went to one, and was told that they didn't accept electrical items. Another one said the same... I made up my mind to try one more shop (there are lots quite near me) and go to the dump if all else failed.

I have a knee problem, and the only place I could stop was a double yellow line opposite. I wasn't blocking traffic, and I was delivering stuff, so I figured that it would be fine... Yippee, the third shop did accept electrical items... and they were very pleased to get a nice printer. I left the shop...

...to find that, in the four minutes it took to go into the shop, a parking attendant had materialised out of nowhere, written the ticket and was in the process of snapping the photo-evidence. The manageress of the charity shop came out to plead on my behalf, but to no avail. The attendant promised to make a note that I was delivering stuff (yeah, right, I won't hold my breath on that one) and advised me to write in to the relevant authority to issue a challenge...

I should have just gone to the dump...

He's Got It Taped...

Further to my post on duck tape: Dominican Idaho shows what it's really for...

Ooooh... More Blog Awards!

Just when you thought it was safe to cruise the blogosphere...

The Catholic Blog Awards are over, for this year, but the Blogger's Choice Awards are now up and running...

Jeff pointed out that an Atheist was favourite to win the "Best Religion Blog" category. This is not on, people, so get on over to the site, register and then vote for your favourites! There are lots of different categories to choose from, so have fun.

Graveyard Humour...

My friend Newhousenewjob has just come back from her great-uncle's funeral. I think I shall write a clause into my will to the effect that, should anyone not raise a glass at my wake, I shall return to haunt them!

I loved the following little quote:

"It's been said that the only difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish wake is that there's one less drunk at the wake."

Christopher, requiescat in pace.

Transformation

All you trendies out there, watch out: all those "protestant" altars erected in "the spirit of Vatican II" can be transformed in the blink of an eye, or the twitch of a mantilla...

La métamorphose d'un autel
Uploaded by CHRIST-REDEMPTEUR

Mantilla-twitch to Anne, who commented here, but doesn't have a public profile, so I have no idea if she's got a blog of her own!

A Post Just For Fr James...

...though he probably won't get around to reading it, as he is far too busy to bother with blogs that just witter on about hair, nails and shopping...

However, as a one-time devotee of the "Cathedral" at Bluewater, he deserves to have this post dedicated especially to him. I was persuaded to help a friend of mine check out possible bridesmaid dresses (her brother is getting married soon, and she gets to play the role of Head Honcho!)

We could have gone traipsing round Croydon, but I much prefer Bluewater: careful planning can ensure that every dress shop visited is followed by a coffee shop stop to discuss and ponder the items seen, tried on, discarded, picked up again, tried on with accessories "just to get the feel of it," and eventually rejected as "almost, but not quite..."

I was pleased to be able to get myself a micro-memory card for my not-quite-so-new-but-absolutely-brilliant phone. This means that I shall be able to take lots and lots of photos when I go to Lourdes. You may not feel quite as pleased about this as I am, but if that's the case, then avoid my blog for the first fortnight in June...

In the meantime, I thought I'd share the following little snap: it would appear that sushi has come to Bluewater...

Now, if they would only add karaoke for that truly authentic feel...

Told You So...

I had always assumed that there was this strange substance known to man (but rarely by woman) and it was called "duct tape..." However, for some reason, when I asked for "duct tape," I was given "duck tape" and my pronunciation gently corrected. I assumed that I had misheard it.

...and since everyone seemed to call it duck tape, I wanted to know why. I issued a heartfelt plea in the course of one of my Holy Week posts. Sure enough, I was told that I had it wrong: it is actually "duct" tape after all...

Right. I think I got that. So now, can someone please stop me gibbering...

Tracking Down St. Martha

In the post about statues bought during my retreat at Aylesford Priory, I mentioned that St. Martha appeared to be accompanied by a crocodile...

Having done a little digging (God bless Google and all who search on her!) I discovered that the beast is not, as I first thought, a representation of her faults and failings in asking Jesus to rebuke her sister Mary.

The legend associated with her is that she went off to Provence with Lazarus and Mary. The banks of the river Rhone were being plagued by a dragon, and St. Martha's aid was implored by the local populace. She showed the dragon a cross, and sprinkled it with holy water, and then chained the creature to her belt, after which the locals were able to kill it. This explains why, in my statue of her, she seems to be carrying a bucket and club... it's actually an aspergil (for the holy water, see...!)

I was delighted to note that, as well as being the patron of all in the hospitality business, housekeepers and cooks, St. Martha is also a patron of all single laywomen.

More Motu Mania

OK, I'm willing to play this game... if only to see if Hilary is reading my blog (I just love it when she gets going: she really laid into Fr. Tim a week or so ago... )

Fr. Zuhlsdorf is now speculating that the Motu Proprio will be out next Monday...

Ahhhhhhh, Holy Farrrrther.... go on now, release the Motu Proprio... you know you want to... ahhhh, go on... yer will, yer will, yer will....

Fr. Jay Has An Evil Streak...

...and a wicked sense of humour to boot ! He put this up on his blog with the caption:

"So Easter is about the bunny, eh? Let's wait three days and see if lil' Thumper here resurrects..."


Twitch of the mantilla in the direction of Histor the Wise

Anticlimax...?

After the incredibly uplifting and emotionally demanding Triduum, Easter Monday can seem a little flat. Not for me...

...by dint of some careful planning, I got to go to an awesome Classical Rite Latin Mass, followed by lunch at one of my (many) favourite restaurants (oooh, I've missed my steak so much... well, I have to offset my carbon footprint somehow, and since I drive everywhere, that's an awful lot of cow to munch through!!) and this evening I intend to leave the car at home while I go to the parish club. It's karaoke night, and I do like to sing...

...Cover those ears, folks! Mulier Fortis has the microphone...

Shock Horror - True Cross Found In Blackfen !

It's amazing what just slips out in conversation... I happened to mention that the last parish I went to actually had a relic of the True Cross which was brought out for veneration each Good Friday.

Imagine my incredulity when Fr. Tim (rather sheepishly, I think) admitted that we have a relic of the True Cross at Blackfen... but there's no suitable reliquary for it...

Watch this space. I'm determined to get to see the relic. I can't believe that the True Cross has been present all this time, and we haven't seen it. The relics of a few English Martyrs (seen before they were cemented into the High Altar) pale into insignificance by comparison!!

This is most definitely "Not On!" Prayers will be said... Pictures will be taken... And posted...
;-)

Do You Come Here Often?

I loved this little snippet, courtesy of Fr. Longenecker...

On observing the larger numbers for Easter one pastor wisecracked, "I have to apologise to all of you about all the lilies in Church. I wanted to get poinsettias, so it would look just like it did last time you were here..."

Heheheh...

Photo-Fest

My not-so-new phone is great, and I'm getting the hang of the camera feature, but it isn't what you might describe as "discreet"... I do feel ever so slightly self-conscious, whipping out the phone to snap a particularly stunning visual moment in the parish liturgy... despite knowing that the parish priest will ask for a copy if the photos are any good (thus implying that I have "permission"!)

So I didn't get to take many photos over the Triduum. This is a real shame, because the whole thing was, if possible, even more impressive than last year. However, I thought I'd share a couple with you...

First, evidence that we had twelve good men and true for the washing of the feet...


Then, the Altar of Repose, which always looks fabulous. Hilda (our Sacristan) is an absolute genius when it comes to getting things to look just right...


A moving snap showing the prostration of the priest and deacons at the Good Friday Liturgy (this always brings a lump to my throat!)


Then we have the Easter fire and the lighting of the Paschal candle outside the church...

A bit of a blurry shot inside, taken during the Old Testament readings and prayers...


And finally, a glimpse (also a bit blurry) of the choir, who did such stirling work during the Triduum...

Well, That's A Relief !!!

The Dante's Inferno Test has sent you to Purgatory!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:

Level	Score
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)	Extreme
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)	High
Level 2 (Lustful)	Low
Level 3 (Gluttonous)	Moderate
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)	Very Low
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)	Low
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)	Very Low
Level 7 (Violent)	Low
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)	Low
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)	Very Low

Take the Dante's Inferno Test

Purgatory

---

You have escaped damnation and made it to Purgatory, a place where the dew of repentance washes off the stain of sin and girds the spirit with humility. Through contrition, confession, and satisfaction by works of righteousness, you must make your way up the mountain. As the sins are cleansed from your soul, you will be illuminated by the Sun of Divine Grace, and you will join other souls, smiling and happy, upon the summit of this mountain. Before long you will know the joys of Paradise as you ascend to the ethereal realm of Heaven.

Mantilla-twitch to Jeffrey (The Roving Medievalist)

Good Friday

I opted to attend the Solemn Stations of the Cross this year (I went to the Children's Stations in previous years, but just fancied a change!) The meditations of St. Alphonsus are pretty moving - he certainly doesn't let me off the hook when it comes to the realisation that my sins are what helped to nail Christ to that cross.

I find that "modern" Stations are often too preoccupied with things like racism, solidarity with the poor, helping the marginalised, crimes against humanity. I know that these injustices need to be remembered, and fought against, but Stations just seems the wrong time to do it. It's too easy to think "oh, that's ok, I'm not racist," or "fine, I've just sent a cheque to Aid to the Church in Need." So we need to be brought up short: we all sin, and it is those sins which Christ died to forgive. The big ones, definitely. But the little ones too... the times when I snapped at someone, the times I was inconsiderate, the times I sulked, the times I gossiped, or groused...

Somehow, St. Alphonsus seems to bring my many imperfections home to me. Mea culpa...

Maundy Thursday Mass Of The Lord's Supper

Ok, I'm just showing off... we had twelve men having their feet washed... and there were loads more in the congregation who could have stepped in (oops, sorry about that!) if it had been necessary. See what happens when you don't have touchy-feely, "make-it-up-as-you-feel-the-Spirit-move-you" liturgy?

Just read the black, and do the red...

Chrism Mass

The "Demo" at the Maundy Thursday Chrism Mass went rather well, I thought. Despite the last-minute panic over the placards, they didn't look too bad in the broad light of day! It would have been nicer to have them made properly, but that will teach me not to leave it so late next year.

The first photo (mantilla-twitch to Fr John Boyle for these) shows some of the younger helpers... some of the older ones proved to be a little camera-shy (I include myself in that!) but by the time the priests processed in, there was an enthusiastic bunch to cheer and clap (as shown in the second photo.)

I wasn't hiding that time (in fact, I didn't realise Fr. John had taken a photo while actually processing in!) but I am hidden by the priests going past, as I was handing out some of the "Thank You" prayer cards. I was very pleased with the cards... they had far more class than last year's home-made effort...

The Mass itself was a little grim. For some reason, St. George's Cathedral seem to have a real problem with hymns. The words of one hymn seemed to deny transubstantiation (which rather misses the point, given that it's on Maundy Thursday) and the "tunes" weren't very tuneful. I was in the Lady Chapel (no room anywhere else) and it was really striking that the one hymn everyone in the diverse, multicultural throng joined in with (with real gusto, I might add) was "Soul of my Saviour." There's a lesson in there somewhere.

The homily was mercifully short. There was much said on the priesthood of the faithful, and precious little on the ministerial priesthood. Another missed opportunity. And the Archbishop says we need to have a vision of a Church with fewer priests. Sorry, that sounds more like my idea of a nightmare... Also, if you plan for a church without priests, you're going to get one. We should look at the new movements and countries where vocations are up, and work out what they're doing right. The first part of the quote I'd swiped from Sacramentum Caritatis for the back of the prayer card was quite pertinent in this regard:

"...We must never lose confidence that Christ continues to inspire men to leave everything behind and to dedicate themselves totally to celebrating the sacred mysteries, preaching the Gospel and ministering to the flock."

I was delighted to note that there weren't any protesters calling for "wimmym-priests" this year. It was a nasty, underhand and mean-spirited thing to do on such an important day for the priesthood: I'm rather chuffed that they've been discouraged by our presence. Of course, given their average age, they might have died out...