Does Santa Claus Exist? - Theological Viewpoint

From the lesser-known Summa Contra Scroogicum...

Whether Santa Claus Exists?

We proceed thus to the Third Article: -

Objection 1: It seems that Santa Claus does not exist, since Christmas gifts are able to be given by good elves. Therefore Santa Claus does not exist.

Objection 2: Further, if Santa Claus did exist, there would be no narrow chimneys. But there are narrow chimneys, and sometimes no chimneys at all. Therefore, Santa Claus does not exist.

On the Contrary, Kay Starr says: "I saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus underneath the mistletoe last night."

I answer that, The existence of Santa Claus can be proved in five ways.

The first and foremost way is taken from Christmas trees. It is certain and evident to our senses that in the world some things are Christmas trees. Now, no pine tree becomes a Christmas tree unless it is trimmed. Now to be trimmed means to receive ornaments from another. But this cannot go on to infinity in the trimming of Christmas trees. One must come to some first untrimmed trimmer; and this everyone understands to be Santa Claus.

The second way is from the nature of Christmas gifts. We see that in the world Christmas gifts are given and received. Whoever, then, gives Christmas gifts either receives them from another or makes them in his workshop. If, however, no one makes Christmas gifts in his workshop, they are not given or received. Therefore, it is necessary to posit some first giver of Christmas gifts, whom everyone calls Santa Claus.

The third way is from plastic images resembling Santa Claus. At all stores we see things of plastic that represent Santa Claus. These things are of such a quality that they are representatives according to Santa himself or according to other images of him. But, it is not possible to proceed to infinity in images. Therefore, it is necessary to posit something which is resembling Santa Claus, and hence Santa Claus exists.

The forth way is taken from the grades which are found in Christmas spirit. Indeed, in this world, among men there are some of more and some of less Christmas spirit. But "more" and "less" is said of diverse things according as they resemble in their diverse way something which is the "maximum." Therefore, there must be something which has the most Christmas spirit, and this we call Santa Claus.

The fifth way is taken from the behavior of children. When Christmas day approaches, we see from their being good always or frequently that children, who lack understanding, are moved because of an end. But children would not be good because of the nativity of Christ unless there were someone who strengthened them so that they were good. And this someone is known by all to be Santa Claus.

Reply Objection 1: Good elves, since they receive Christmas gifts from another, should be named the highest helpers of Santa Claus.

Reply Objection 2: It is not impossible that Santa Claus should use the door like everyone else.


H/T The Ironic Catholic

More Encouragement

Another "new" blog... well, new since September 2006. Fr Jay Toborowsky describes himself as a "Young Fogey." He had an interesting post on the Sacrament of Confession.

H/T to Ma Beck for putting up the link.

Spreading the Christmas Cheer...

The Catholic Blogosphere appears to be preoccupied with the idea of the Vatican fielding a football team. Booooooring!

So I am going to post a joke. Not a very funny one, but it made me chuckle.


Ok, this duck waddles in to a bar. He goes up to the barman, and says, (ok, I know, talking ducks are not very believable, but humour me... suspend disbelief just for a moment...)
"Got any bread?"

Bemused, the barman replies, "Err, no... this is a bar. We don't sell bread."
"Ok," quacks the duck, and he waddles out.
Next day, duck returns. "Hi, got any bread?"
"No," says the barman, "this is a bar. No bread."
Duck waddles off.
Next day, duck returns again. "Any bread?"
Barman, getting irritated, "No bread... THIS IS A BAR! We DON'T sell BREAD."
"Oh, ok." And the duck waddles off.

This goes on, and on, and on, for several days. Same question from the duck. Same answer from the barman, though he is getting more and more irritated. After a fortnight, the barman cracks.
In reply to the duck's question, he leans over the bar, grabs the duck by the beak and pulls him up, eye to eye.

"Listen, Daffy, I have had just about enough of you. This is a BAR. We serve DRINKS. We do NOT sell BREAD. Now, if you come in here again, asking for bread, I swear that I am going to nail you by your beak to the bar and batter you senseless, and serve you up to my customers with orange sauce... Now, have you got that?"
"Err, ok," says the duck, and waddles off.

Next day, the duck comes in. He looks up at the barman, who is glaring at him...
"Got any nails?"
The barman, almost apoplectic, shouts out "NO!"
"Good," says the duck... "Got any bread?"

Blog References

I seem to have made someone's day! David, over at Fullness of Faith, has noted a major jump in visits, and they are apparently arriving via this blog. He suggested that I make another reference to it, and I'm happy to oblige!!

I see that Fr Tim has given his blog a mention too... now that really will increase David's visitor numbers. Check out his new poll on brussels sprouts!

Encouraging Signs

I am really having fun exploring the Blogosphere with my new computer. I am revelling in the freedom of broadband, so much so that, this evening, when a few pages took more than ten seconds to load, I found myself getting impatient...

I shall try to be more adventurous in my explorations. One "new" blog to add to my UK list is Valle Adurni - the blog is run by Pastor in Valle, who describes himself as a tired Parish Priest. Like my own PP, he's a lecturer at the Seminary at Wonersh. I like his gentle style...

With the sort of priests we seem to have at the seminary as lecturers (several bloggers among them) and students like those great guys at Orthfully Catholic (I think they're at a different seminary!) I would say there is real hope for the future of the Church in the UK. Good. I was getting a little down-hearted with some of the stuff which has been going on at the moment... I've quite cheered up!

Our Lady, Queen of the Clergy, pray for them.

Evidence (At Last)

I had a really great day when I renewed my vows two weeks ago. I also mentioned that Fr Tim had sacrificed the second of the two poundcakes which he'd ordered from Ma Beck for the party afterwards... and that the cake had gone down a real storm ! Fr Tim took pictures, but he's been a little busy lately (well, so he says...) so I've only just received them...

...admittedly I wouldn't have been able to upload them before now anyway!

But here is the "before" picture when the cake made its appearance...



...and here is what happened to it...



(I think it's safe to say that it was pretty delicious!)

Picture Uploads

Ok, I now have to admit that it was either my desperately aged and decrepit computer which couldn't cope when Blogger changed the image upload format, or it was Internet Explorer which couldn't cope. I don't know which, as I'm no longer using either!

However, I wanted to put up a photo of Fr Richard Whinder in my post on his excellent talk, determined as I was to get one over on Fr Tim, who hadn't brought his camera along (and who still hasn't sent me the photos of Ma Beck's poundcake! Such dereliction of duty in a cleric is shocking!!) So here is the photo...



...and in case anyone was wondering, I got those awfully nice chaps from Miles Jesu to take a photo of my nails (which looked pretty good, despite having to retrieve a mouse from my cat's clutches while the nails were still wet!!) And by the way, the nails are real, and I painted them myself.

What Have I Started??!

I might have known it was a bad idea... After checking out old YouTube videos on my favourite blogs, I came across some brilliant spoofs by Wierd Al Yankovic. Then I suddenly remembered he'd done a spoof of the Madonna hit "Like a virgin" which he'd changed to "Like a surgeon"

...Given the number of medics who seem to haunt the Catholic Blogosphere, I just had to post this one: so, Joee, Matt, Antonia, Paulinus, and any other docs out there, enjoy!!

First Video Post !

I just had to try to put this one up! H/T to Scorpion Stalking Duck.

Fun and Games

Well, the broadband internet connection works... and the email appears to be ok (I decided to take the advice of Fr Tim over at The Hermeneutic of Continuity, and have switched to Firefox and Thunderbird for internet browsing and email respectively.)

Now all I need to do is download some software... when I've finished looking at all the video clips I've been unable to access all this time!

Christmas Arrives Early

I went to visit my mother and stepfather this afternoon. My sister and her husband also came over - we're not meeting up for Christmas itself, as my sister will have rather more pressing matters to attend to...

The baby has moved round, and is now wherever it should be with only three weeks left. So thank you to everyone who said a prayer. It would appear that my nephew/niece resembles me: it got very excited when my sister started to eat chocolate cake! Nice to know we already have something in common!!

My sister and brother-in-law also gave me my Christmas present: they started off with a long explanation of how they thought it would be useful for me, especially with me being a teacher... that confused me - it sounded as if I was going to be given a supply of chalk rather than my usual present of perfume (I always ask for Dior Poison or Hypnotic Poison as I really love the smell, and I get through bucketloads of it !)

In fact it turned out to be a COMPUTER ! I was completely stunned. I have been warned that this is a combined birthday and Christmas present for the next couple of years!!

It is ever so exciting: my old computer is pretty near to death: the CD drive doesn't work, the on-off switch has just snapped within the last week, and the monitor is getting darker and darker, and takes nearly five minutes to warm up. The computer is so old that I can't get broadband, and it still uses Windows 95, which means that practically nothing new will run on it.

The advantage of having an obsolete operating system is that none of the viruses, worms and other nasties out there can cope...

Anyway, I have spent an hour or so connecting everything to check that it works - the computer is technically second-hand, as someone had returned it after a week, but the system has been re-booted, and it's got its warranty (and protective plastic strips still on the front of the disk drives)... I gather that my brother-in-law was able to get a good deal on it because of the "used" status. It also came without a monitor, but another friend had given me her old monitor (which wasn't that old, but the speakers were meant to be attached to the monitor and the attachments had snapped off) and it turns out that it's the same make as the new computer...

So, everything works. I haven't got as far as getting the internet up and running yet (I'm a bit tired, and I suspect I'll need my wits about me) and I need to download all my useful files and folders from the old computer before I can clear it out and put the new one in its place. I also need to get a cable, because the broadband connection is in the sitting room (along with the tv and phone) and I really want the computer to stay in the spare room (I've got a phone line in there, but not broadband) - but these are minor glitches !

In case anyone is interested: the new computer is a Packard Bell iMedia MC 2459. It's got a Pentium 4, 524 processor, and an 80 GB hard drive. Yum yum!!

Your Prayers Please

I was chatting to one of my friends this afternoon (Max's grandmother) and she told me that her younger son (who's doing A levels) and a friend of his were involved in a horrible accident yesterday. A car swerved to avoid another car, and drove up onto the pavement, hitting the two boys. Her son is rather battered and bruised, but thankfully not badly injured. His friend was less fortunate: he is in intensive care, on a respirator, and he's had his spleen removed, but there might be more internal bleeding.

Please spare a prayer or two for all those involved.

Pilgrimage Planning

It is that time of year again... middle of Advent, so it's time to organise the Parish Pilgrimage. Somehow or other I ended up with this job last year, and, after failing to make a complete hash of it, I'm in for Round 2!

We go to Lourdes for the May half-term holiday, Monday - Friday. Rather than paying an exorbitant amount for the privilege of fitting in with whatever the official tour operators decide you should do, we organise the whole shebang "in-house". This is actually much easier than it sounds.

A small group of us went on a recce before the first "home-grown" Parish Pilgrimage and we identified a lovely three-star family-run hotel almost next door to the shrine. It's a great place - with lots of dark wood panelling straight out of an Agatha Christie novel, only without the dead bodies - and so we go back each year. The hotel staff are friendly and helpful, and are happy to arrange coaches to and from the airport. We go half-board, which allows people plenty of time to explore during the day, rather than forcing them to rush back to the hotel for lunch. And finding a good place to eat isn't exactly rocket science...

Arranging Masses and other religious activities is pretty easy as well. There are a few ghastly modern-type chapels which we avoid like a dose of the plague, but if you are willing to be flexible about times, it isn't a problem getting the chapels you want. The only restriction is that you can't book a small parish group in until after April, as the big Diocesan (and other organisation) pilgrimages are given first priority for obvious reasons.

The Torchlight Procession and the Blessed Sacrament Procession happen at fixed times each day, and the International Mass (held in the imitation-underground-car-park... oops, sorry, the St Pius X Basilica!) is on the Wednesday morning. The Stations of the Cross, a visit to the Baths, a tour of the town in the footsteps of St Bernadette, a video about the Apparitions and the opportunity for Confession all have to be slotted in around the times of Masses, so the final programme can't be sorted yet.

The most difficult part is booking the flights: unless you can charter a plane, you are pretty much at the mercy of the airlines. Full details of each passenger are required, and it is almost more trouble than its worth to change a name at a later date, so this can be a bit fraught. Prices seem to vary on a daily basis, and they go down as well as up, so booking early isn't always cheaper... though at least you're guaranteed a seat.

Anyway, the notice has gone in for this week's newsletter, and the Booking Form has been given to Fr Tim to photocopy. So now it's just a case of wait and see...

First Knight of the Catholic Blogosphere

Fr Tim over at The Hermeneutic of Continuity (I can almost spell it without looking now!!) has proposed that stalwart of the Faith Movement, Dan (also affectionately known to many as Cooperman) should be voted in by acclamation as Knight of the Blogosphere.

Absolutely brilliant idea. Vote now. At the moment the votes stand as 27 for and 0 against. I suspect that anyone who votes against this excellent suggestion will be cast into the outer darkness, and only let back in when they have bought ten pamphlets and a magazine from Dan's stall at the Faith Student Conference... and read them...

Blogging Debut

As I scrolled down my blog checking a few things (basically trying to figure out what subjects I want to burble on about next) my eye was caught by a new blog on the block...

David, over at The Fullness of Faith, put up a link to my blog. I hadn't spotted the name before, and as the link list is the blogging equivalent of one's ears burning, I scooted over to investigate. He's a convert to Catholicism, and he also had to make the difficult decision to leave his ministry as an Anglican Vicar. So far, David just has an introduction up (but I love his choice of picture: Jesus giving Peter the keys.) It will be interesting to see how his blog develops...

More on Babies

I put up a post last week explaining that some friends of mine had recently had their baby, and that the doting grandparents had assured me that the baby was gorgeous...

Well, I went round for dinner on Monday night, and got to see the baby for myself. He is absolutely scrumptious, and has got to be the most placid and well-behaved baby I have ever clapped eyes on. He submitted to being passed around among his young aunts with hardly a gurgle. And I got to cuddle him for a bit, which was great. I need the practice, as my own nephew/niece is about to arrive.

The poor little chap got the hiccups, which shook his whole body, and left him looking a little bemused. I didn't manage to get a picture - though I still can't get photos to upload, which is beginning to irritate.

Anyway, Max is an absolute stunner!

More Prayers Please

On the subject of babies, I have mentioned that my sister is expecting her first in early January. She had problems at the beginning of the pregnancy but they had seemed to have passed.

Yesterday she was told that there is a possibility that the baby will be a breech presentation, as it's in the wrong position at the moment. There is still another week in which my nephew/niece could move round, but obviously my sister is a little worried. Any prayers gratefully received.

St. Gerard, pray for them.

Baby Boom

Two of my friends have just had their baby a couple of weeks ago - a gorgeous baby boy named Max. I've been told he's gorgeous by the proud grandparents - I haven't seen him yet, but knowing the parents I'd say they're probably right!!

Two more friends emailed to say that they are expecting baby number five in April. And on Saturday another friend said she was expecting her second baby around April/May time.

Wow !

Blogger Bother

I don't quite understand what is going on. Each time I try to upload an image so that I can add it to my post, the little triangle beside the "Uploading Image to Blogger" message gets blocked out by a grey-ish square and after a minute or two more I get a "Cannot find server" message.

This is patently stupid, because I can still put up posts, which presumably go to the same server...

...then again, maybe not.

Anyway, I've tried refreshing the page, emptying my cache, re-booting my computer... all to no avail. This is irritating, as just for once I have some decent pictures I want to put up.

I've contacted Blogger Help but haven't heard anything yet...

In a minute I'm going to start sulking...

Debunking the Myths

Miles Jesu are visiting our parish each evening this week - and in addition to a Holy Hour we've been treated to talks from various speakers.

Yesterday Fr Richard Whinder gave a fascinating (and enlightening) talk on the Church in the Middle Ages. He pointed out that England was noted throughout Christendom for its devotion to Our Lady (hence the title Dowry of Mary), for its many great saints, for its Universities and for its great Religious houses.

He painted a picture of the medieval Church which was very much at odds with the popular ideas promoted in the media. In view of my last post, I was very entertained by Fr Richard's comments on the role and status of women in Christian Europe: a position not held under the rule of the Roman Empire, and lost again at the Renaissance when Roman law was "rediscovered" and reimposed.

Fr Tim managed to put up a post before me YESTERDAY, but he didn't have his camera handy and so didn't get a shot of Fr Richard (it has become a bit of an in-joke: for a priest who doesn't have a blog himself, he seems to crop up with amazing regularity in posts by UK Catholic bloggers, usually in the photos!) I didn't have my phone with me (I don't have a digital camera, but my phone works pretty well!) BUT Fr Richard kindly sent me a photo I could use to adorn this post... and so get one over on Fr Tim!!

(Unfortunately, the best-laid plans and all that... Blogger seems to be throwing a strop at the moment, so I can't upload the photo. I shall put the photo up as soon as the system sorts itself out.)

UPDATE: I've finally sorted the problem... by changing both the computer and the browser... so here is the picture:

The True Mulier Fortis

I get more than a little annoyed when people criticise the Church for not giving enough "power" to women. Of course, what they really mean is that women are not "allowed" to be priests. I'm not proposing to go into the theological justification for this (although I might give my opinion another time), just suffice it to say that I totally concur with the teaching of our Holy Mother the Church (funny, but none of the PC crowd ever object to that use of gender-specific nomenclature!)

Quite apart from the fact that those misguided souls who are calling for women to be admitted to the priesthood obviously have a very warped conception of what the priesthood actually is (because they equate being a priest with being "powerful") but they also rather miss the point when it comes to the attitude of the Church towards women.

Yes, there have in the past been some individuals in the Catholic Church who had a rather ambivalent view of sex and women, etc. etc. I'm no historian, and I don't know all the ins and outs of gender politics during the past two millennia (but let it be noted that the Protestant Church has had an even more ambivalent attitude - burning (female) witches being a more predominantly Protestant activity!) But whatever may have been said by individuals, the fact remains that the most powerful human being throughout the history of the Catholic Church is a woman.

Our Lord and Saviour was born of a woman. He was carried for nine months in the womb of a woman. Our God became incarnate, and he asked for the co-operation of a woman. Joseph was the foster-father of Jesus. Mary was truly his mother.

Our Blessed Lady is often dismissed as a poor role-model by feminists. They point to the emphasis on her virginity, and use this to claim that the church only approves of women who are either perfect virgins (impossible for most women to imitate) or saintly repentant prostitutes (citing devotion to Mary Magdalene as evidence for the latter). This feminist view ignores the truth: Mary's virginity is not valued because procreation is somehow degraded and sinful - a very Gnostic attitude, and condemned by the Church as heresy - but because it shows that Jesus did not have a human father: he is truly the Son of God, not just a man given divine power.

Another reason for Mary's dismissal as a role-model for modern women is the portrayal of her as a very insipid character. She is a model of humility, of obedience, of total submission to God. Milk-and-water meekness and goodness. Very unfashionable.

I beg to differ. Our Lady appears infrequently in the Gospels, but her character as revealed by those appearances is anything but insipid. When the Angel Gabriel appears, she asks for clarification of what she does not understand. If a supernatural being suddenly appeared to me, I don't think I would have the courage to ask questions! At the wedding feast at Cana, Mary takes the initiative and tells Jesus that the newlyweds are in dire straits. She trusts him to do something about it - and is so confident that she orders the servants to "...do whatever he tells you." Nothing insipid about that.

And then there is Mary's presence during the Passion. Unlike those terribly brave (male) disciples of his, Mary ran off because she was afraid... umm, no, I don't think so!!

I have just finished reading The Glories of Mary by St Alphonsus Liguori (1696-1787). He assembled as much information about Our Lady as he could find from the writings of the Saints, Doctors of the Church and other holy authors as well as from Sacred Scripture. And although he writes much about her mercy towards those who call upon her, especially sinners, the person who emerges from the pages is far from insipid, especially in her attitude to unrepentant and obstinate sinners:

"...he [the sinner] saw the most Blessed Virgin Mary, who said to him: 'Presumptious man that thou art, dost thou dare to appear before me? Depart hence, and go to that fire which thou hast deserved.' "

The book I read just before this one was True Devotion to Mary by St Louis-Marie Grignion de Montfort (1673-1716). In it, St Louis-Marie describes Mary as having power and authority even over the angels:

"...God has made her queen of heaven and earth, leader of his armies... destroyer of his enemies..."

And to leave absolutely no room for doubt,

"...The most fearful enemy that God has set up against the devil is Mary, his holy Mother."

Anyone described as "queen of heaven and earth," "destroyer" and "most fearful enemy" is far from weak. Mary's power, given by God, would make her truly terrifying were it not for her love towards us, her children, entrusted to her by Jesus on the cross. If it were not for this merciful love, we would indeed fear to approach her. Devotion to Mary is not mawkish sentimentality and veneration of spineless subservience. The 12th century hymn, "Daily, daily, sing to Mary," ascribed to St Bernard of Cluny, makes this very clear:

"All our joys do flow from Mary, all then join her praise to sing;
trembling, sing the virgin mother, mother of our Lord and King,
while we sing her awful glory, far above our fancy's reach,
let our hearts be quick to offer love the heart alone can teach."

As a woman, I would count myself blessed if I could imitate even some of Mary's virtues. The true Mulier Fortis is a role-model to rejoice in.

On the Vow of Chastity

I thought I'd put up a copy of the reading I had from the Introduction to the Devout Life by St Francis de Sales. I also had a Gospel reading (Matthew 16:24-27).

"She must offer God her body and chastity by means of a vow. After making her vow she no longer has the power to give up chastity without giving up her title to heaven. Hence she will watch over her vow so jealously that not for a single moment will she let the least thought of marriage enter her heart. In this way her holy vow will serve as a strong barrier between her soul and every project contrary to her resolution.

"A vow not only makes good works done as a result of it more acceptable to God but it also encourages us to put them into practice. It gives God not only the good works that are the fruits of our good will but likewise dedicates to him the will itself, the tree on which all our actions grow.

"By simple chastity we lend our body to God while still retaining the liberty to use it for sensual pleasure at some other time. By the vow of chastity we make him an absolute and irrevocable gift of our body without reserving to ourselves any power of recall. In this way we happily make ourselves slaves of him whose service is better than all royal power.

"Souls who are so happy as to desire to follow this advice should do so prudently, devoutly and firmly, having first examined their resolutions, invoked God’s divine inspiration, and taken counsel of a wise and devout director. Moreover, this renunciation must be made purely and simply with the single intention of turning all the affection of one’s soul toward God and uniting one’s heart wholly with that of his Divine Majesty.

"In God’s eyes nothing can truly merit praise except what is done for his sake."

(St. Francis de Sales, Introduction to the Devout Life, Third Part. No. 40)

A Day to Celebrate

I had a lovely day today.

It started with a card in the post and a few text messages conveying best wishes. And there was one text which was from a friend who had managed to get lost when leaving Sidcup Station.

There was a card in the sacristy for me (which had been sent c/o the PP) with best wishes from fellow-blogger Paulinus (of In Hoc Signo Vinces fame) - this made me laugh out loud, because the picture on the front of the card was thought to be one "Blackadder"... the first Archbishop of Glasgow, that is, not the character played by Rowan Atkinson! I hadn't realised that there really was someone of that name!!

The morning progressed as I indicated in my last post: Mass, Exposition, Benediction and then the Servers' Latin lesson (it was to learn the Classical Rite, not the Novus Ordo as I thought) and then it was time for me to renew my vows.

It took much less time than the half-hour I had predicted... partly due to the fact that this year, instead of a homily, Fr Tim read an extract I'd picked from St. Francis de Sales' Introduction to the Devout Life. It could have been written especially for me, and I liked it so much I've had the same reading for a couple of years.

Then we went to the Large Hall, where the UCM had really gone to town preparing a beautiful spread. Just for once I allowed myself a few drinks (I'll have to pick the car up tomorrow) and had a relaxing afternoon chatting away to my friends.

The blueberry pound cake baked by Ma Beck made its appearance, and was a great success - its demise was duly photographed by Fr Tim - the evidence will appear either on his blog or mine (if he sends me copies of the photos!) It really was delicious.

To finish off my day, I got a comment from those great guys at Orthfully Catholic: they've sent me a spiritual bouquet of prayers from all of them - Masses, Rosaries and Holy Hours - and that was a wonderfully uplifting thought. The knowledge that people are praying for you is just awesome.

Last Minute Preparations

Well, I think I'm almost ready for tomorrow. I prepared a leaflet with the order of service on it, but then realised that there wasn't much point printing it out, because the Litany of Saints will be in Latin rather than English - and my Latin wasn't up to the task of translation (Fr Tim will translate "on the hoof") and the other readings and prayers are pretty straightforward... and I am firmly of the opinion that the less paper being waved about the better (that goes for Mass as well!!)

Because I want to fit in with the usual Saturday devotions in the Parish, I will be in church pretty much all morning. There will be Mass (Novus Ordo, but in Latin and ad orientem at the Lady Altar) then Exposition for an hour, and Benediction. Then Fr Tim will be teaching a couple of youngsters some Latin so that they can serve Mass (Classical Rite eventually, but Novus Ordo to start with) and I help to fulfil the child protection requirements by being there... as well as getting to learn some Latin, hopefully! And then my Renewal of Vows is at 1pm.

And of course, I haven't neglected the more secular side of things: the UCM will have the catering well in hand, and tomorrow the bar will be open in the Parish Club. I've got my outfit sorted, and I've treated myself to a DIY facial. I am also attempting to do my nails... they've all reached a decent length for once, and I decided to go for the "French Manicure" look. Easier said than done - painting all the tips white on my left hand was ok, but getting the edges straight on my right hand is proving more problematic. Vanity, vanity... well, yes, maybe so, but a girl has got to try and look her best on her "wedding anniversary" !! And to counteract the very secular nature of my activities I am listening to a CD of Mass chants - Missa de Angelis to be precise.

Sylvester, my cat, is obviously determined to distract me from such frivolous pursuits... he brought me in a mouse to play with. Trying to retrieve a mouse from your cat when your nails are wet is a real challenge. I thought that this year's mousing season was over - obviously the warm weather has confused more than flowering plants...

Another Anniversary to Celebrate?

This time last year I had a pretty major car crash - and when I say major, I mean I really stopped traffic, six lanes, both sides of the A2 (it's actually more like a motorway at that point.) Getting hit twice by an articulated lorry, spinning across three lanes in the middle of the morning rush hour, colliding with (and denting) the central reservation barrier and flipping over onto your roof doesn't do much for the bodywork. Especially when those nice men from the fire brigade promptly cut the car open like a tin can in order to get you out...

...none of the people from the emergency services (police, ambulance and fire brigade) could believe that I'd survived the crash, and with nothing more than bad bruising and a tiny cut on one finger from a fragment of glass. The insurance assessor bluntly told me that he'd double-checked with the company when he'd seen the state of the car, because he was sure that the driver would be "out of the picture" and he needed to know who to speak to.

I thought I was going to die after the first impact, and I started to pray the Hail Mary as I wanted to die with those words on my lips. Our Lady and my Guardian Angel obviously had other ideas...

The Traveller Returns...

I note from his latest post on the Hermeneutic of Continuity that Fr Tim has made it back to Blighty in spite of being fog-bound on his travels to foreign climes...

He really should know better. The year of my first anniversary he managed to get himself stranded somewhere like Geneva. Fog. The night before my Renewal of Vows I got a phone call telling me that he was on his way to Belgium and hoped to get back to England by Eurostar in time for the ceremony (at which he was presiding!) but he thought he'd better warn me that he might not make it...

At least that won't be happening this year... unless he's planned another trip for tomorrow!

In Search of St. Anne Line

St. Anne Line is the particular patron saint I chose when I first took my vows. I thought that, in the run-up to my Renewal of Vows, it might be an idea to put up a description of a pilgrimage I made a few years ago, in her honour... I wrote it up, and Joanna (of Auntie Joanna Writes fame) persuaded me to submit it for the ACW Review. It was published in June 2004...

...unfortunately I don't know how to put up a longer version of a post somewhere else, so the whole thing will be posted here.

I was attracted to St. Anne Line as a patron because of her feisty retort at her trial when charged with harbouring a priest, where, totally unrepentant, she declared that her only regret was not harbouring a thousand of them. However, I had been unable to find out very much else about St Anne, and even hours of surfing the web had only resulted in three very sketchy accounts.

I was talking to Joanna, about the lack of information available, and it was then that one of those spooky coincidences occurred. She told me that she had recently met a priest at Tyburn Convent, and he was the Parish Priest of a church dedicated to Saint Anne Line. We both agreed that this was amazing, and agreed to make a pilgrimage to the church to see if we could find out more.

The day we picked for the pilgrimage was a Saturday. We both wanted to get to Mass, but although the idea of attending Mass at the church dedicated to St Anne was an attractive one, the idea of getting up early enough to find it was somewhat less so. Instead, I drove over to Joanna’s parish to meet her, and we attended Mass there. Then, very excited, we jumped into the car, and tried to work out the best route. This was when we hit our first snag. Neither of us knew the address of the church. We decided that we might try to locate it by looking through the Catholic Directory.

The first one we came across was in Dunmow, which made sense because this was where St Anne was born. We looked at the name of the parish priest, and this wasn’t the priest Joanna had met at Tyburn. Eventually we found the one she was looking for, in South Woodford. This lead to the second snag: which one should we visit? We decided to look at distances, and consulted our map. Third snag: Dunmow wasn’t listed in the map index. We then rang the number listed in the directory, and I spoke to an elderly man (presumably the Parish Priest) to ask for directions. After a few acidic comments about the poor quality of our map, he told us the name of a nearby town. Then I realised that Dunmow was on the map…. but it was listed as Great Dunmow in the index. Silly me!

We still were torn between the two places: the church in Dunmow was named for Our Lady and St. Anne Line, and was the older of the two churches, as well as being in the town where she was born; the church in South Woodford was dedicated to St. Anne Line alone, and was the parish of the priest Joanna had met at Tyburn. Intrepid explorers that we were, we hit on a compromise... and decided to visit both.

The journey itself was very enjoyable, with both of us chatting merrily away. In fact, we were chatting so much that we missed the turn-off for the M25 (only coming to our senses when we passed Guildford) and later took a wrong-turning onto the M11 (we suspected that we were going the wrong way when Joanna spotted Canary Wharf dead ahead!) But the weather was gorgeous, traffic, for once, was minimal, and we hardly noticed the time. Before long, we had arrived in Dunmow.

We found a car park in the centre of the town, and checked out the map for the location of the Catholic Church. It was only a few streets away, and so we strolled off to find it. It didn’t take us long, but it didn’t look much like a church from the outside. Both of us gazed at it in horror, but we decided to go and have a look inside.

The church itself was locked, but as we stood there considering our next move, a woman appeared at a side door. She explained that the church was normally locked during the day, but that she was cleaning in preparation for the Sunday services, and we were welcome to have a look inside. We followed her through a community hall and stepped into the church.

The contrast with the dismal exterior was so great we were almost speechless. The walls were faced with beautiful wood panelling and there were some really lovely paintings on the walls, including a huge one of St Anne Line, probably painted around the time of her beatification. We started to chat to the lady who had let us in, and she told us a bit about the parish and how it had developed over the years. She also brought us several large pieces of card which had information about St. Anne pasted to them. I asked if she had access to a photocopier, and she explained that there were several places in the High Street that did photocopies, and we were welcome to borrow the information until we could get it copied.

Having looked around for a bit longer, we lit a couple of candles and said a prayer or two. We then went in search of a photocopier and lunch, in that order. We found a bar with a garden, and sat outside enjoying good food and good conversation. We were tempted to linger over coffees, but it was getting late, and we still had another church to find. Reluctantly, we bade farewell to Dunmow, amazed at the contrast between the outside and the inside of the church, delighted with the information gleaned about St. Anne and marvelling at our luck at finding the lady in the church.

The journey to South Woodford was even easier than the one to Dunmow, and with fewer unintentional detours. We located the church easily, but again were appalled at its appearance: it looked like some sort of concrete bunker. The church was closed, and we wandered across to the presbytery which was nearby. The parish priest welcomed us, and invited us in for a cup of tea. He was just back from an Ordination, and would shortly have to go in to hear Confessions, but he said he would be delighted to show us the statue of St. Anne. This, he explained apologetically, was actually being stored in his garage, because it had been vandalised. He was hoping to set it up inside the church, but hadn’t yet prepared a suitable spot.

The inside of the church was again in complete contrast to the exterior. A passage about St Anne from the Martyrology was framed on the wall, but it was in Latin. I copied down a Latin inscription from a stone in the wall, hoping to get my own Parish Priest to translate it for me later. We stayed for a while to say another prayer, and then started off for home, praying the Rosary together in the car.

I felt sure that St. Anne was watching over our little pilgrimage, and was helping us along. I felt it very strongly when we met the lady cleaning the church in Dunmow, quietly preparing everything for the celebration of Mass, much as St. Anne herself must have done. And I felt it again when we turned up at just the right time to meet the Parish Priest in South Woodford. I used to think of pilgrimages as long journeys to big shrines in foreign countries, but every time we make a special journey to a church or other place associated with a saint it is a pilgrimage of faith. I hope and pray that I will be able to make many more.

Lost Opportunities

I was glancing through The Secret of the Rosary by St. Louis-Marie Grignion de Montfort this evening, and as sometimes happens, a paragraph sort of "jumped out" at me.

"Take great care to avoid the two pitfalls that most people fall into during the Rosary. The first is the danger of not asking for any graces at all, so that if some good people were asked their Rosary intention they would not know what to say."

Mea culpa, mea culpa...

"So, whenever you say your Rosary, be sure to ask for some special grace or virtue, or strength to overcome some sin."

Countdown to the Big Day

I'm getting excited... there is now less than a week until I renew my vows. I've said it before: I know I do not need to renew them - as far as I am concerned, I have chosen my path in life, and that is that. But it helps to remind myself (and my friends) of why I have made this choice, and what it involves. Having to print out the order of service also helps to focus the mind somewhat!

Someone asked me fairly recently what vows I had taken. They are private vows (this means that they are not received formally in the name of the Church, and not that no-one else knows about them!) and they are:

1) to live a life of prayer and self-denial, following Christ’s teaching that "anyone who wishes to be a follower of mine must take up his cross and follow me;"

2) to live a life of chastity in the single state so as to witness to Christ with an undivided heart and be a sign of spiritual fruitfulness in the world; and,

3) to live in obedience to the teaching and authority of Christ and his Church so as to accord with the will of Christ who was himself obedient even unto death on the cross.

I was discussing things with the Vicar General of the Diocese at the beginning of the year, and he asked me which vow I found to be most difficult to keep. It may come as a surprise to many people that the vows of chastity and obedience are actually reasonably straightforward to live out in everyday life. Prayer and self-denial are far more difficult. But more on that some other time.

More on the Birthday Meme

Fr. Tim at the Hermeneutic of Continuity tried out the Wikipedia birthday meme, and if you haven't already spotted it, you can find it HERE.

Gildas, one of those super seminarians at Orthfully Catholic has also taken up the challenge, but decided to avoid using his own birthday... he used a saint's day instead (and I suspect it is something to do with St. Gildas... though maybe I am jumping to conclusions....) and you can check it out HERE.

So, of my original tag-ees, that leaves only Auntie Joanna...

Blogging Blooper

Oh dear, I've been given a (gentle) ticking off... Apparently the chaps at Orthfully Catholic might want to preserve an aura of mystery... and birth dates would rather put the kybosh on that ! So, ok guys, consider yourselves "un-tagged"... unless you fancy using a favourite saint's day instead (Classical or Novus Ordo calendar!!)
;-)

Blogging From Over the Border

I like to explore the blogosphere, but rarely have the time (or patience) needed to do more than check out my favourites: my computer is so slow that it can take me an hour or more just to keep up. I tend to "discover" blogs through recommendations on my favourites. However, occasionally I spot that someone has linked back to me, and I'm vain enough to want to know who that discerning individual is...

Tonight I spotted that PF over at Laus Crucis succumbed to the lure of the How English Are You? test that I put up the other day. PF congratulates me on my good fortune in having a Scottish father, but laments the fact that this doesn't stop me being rated as 90% English... personally I blame my German mother: well, the Queen has German relatives...

Apart from the fact that PF appears to be based in (or near) Glasgow, I haven't been able to find out anything else: the site isn't a Blogger one, so there's no helpful profile to check out. I shall have to explore further... but not tonight.

Dissenters' and Hippies' Prayer Cards

Paulinus posed a question: do dissenters and hippies have blogs? It's hard to imagine that they do... after all, they might actually offend someone if they said something definite... by implication, if you make a hard-and-fast statement of belief, then you imply that other beliefs are, well... wrong!!

They may have blogs, of course, but generally, all the disenters and hippies I have come across have tended to be from the baby-boomer generation... and they are therefore rather unfamiliar with blogs... or email... or the internet... or computers...

...and often seem to have problems with setting video recorders...

Paulinus did put up a very amusing post where he speculated on what a dissenter's version of a prayer card might look like!!

Taking up the Gauntlet...

Looks like Paulinus has taken up the challenge I set him - you can read the results of his birthday meme HERE. He seems to have taken it as a personal affront that so many rock stars have died on his birthday. Could be worse... I had a whole series of wars and battles to choose from!!

My other three tag-ees haven't completed their memes yet...

Birthday Meme

I was challenged by one of those illustrious and captivating Catholic Cavemen to complete this birthday meme (I was so surprised to be tagged that I had to double-check that it was me that he meant!!)

1) Go to Wikipedia

2) In the search box, type your birth month and day but not the year.

3) List three events that happened on your birthday

4) List two important birthdays and one death

5) One holiday or observance (if any)


Ok, here goes:

Three events which happened (decisions, decisions):

1243 - Innocent IV becomes Pope.
1838 - The coronation of Victoria of the United Kingdom.
1919 - The Treaty of Versailles is signed in Paris, formally ending World War I between Britain, France, Italy, the United States and allies on the one side and Germany and Austria Hungary on the other side.

Two births…

1491 - King Henry VIII of England
1577 - Peter Paul Rubens, Belgian painter - the chap who went in for painting women who were on the generously-endowed side and chubby babies. Ok, ok, I’ll stop being so PC… fat women and babies.

…and a death
1914 - Franz Ferdinand, Archduke of Austria (and his wife Sophia) were assassinated in Sarajevo by young Serbian nationalist Gavrilo Princip, kicking off World War I

One Holiday or Observance

It’s the memorial of St Irenaeus of Lyons. I would also like to point out that actually it’s the Vigil of St Peter and St Paul as well, the next day being the Solemnity. I’m never one to miss out on an extra patron saint or two…

That's me sorted. Now I tag Fr Tim at Hermeneutic of Continuity, Paulinus at +In Hoc Signo Vinces+, Joanna at Auntie Joanna Writes and any one of those fantastic chaps over at Orthfully Catholic (or all of them if they want!!)

Oooh... A film about Christmas !

Antonia has put up a post about "Nativity Story" - a new film about... (well, you can probably figure it out!!)

Check out the trailer HERE.

How English are You?

You are 90% English.

Congratulations! You may now take your place as a subject of Her Majesty.

"And did those feet
In ancient times,
Walk upon England's mountains green?
And was the holy Lamb of God
In England's pleasant pastures seen?"

Well, no, but it's a cracking good tune.

How English are you?
Create a Quiz

That's it. My mother (German) will never speak to me again if she finds out. My father (Scottish) will be revolving somewhere (his ashes were scattered over a rosebush somewhere in West London)... so there will be a tornado happening sometime soon...

...either that or he'll be back to haunt me. I remember a brief and pointed conversation with him after I'd been on a school trip to France (I must have been about 12 or 13)...

Dad, fiercely: " What nationality did you tell them you were?"

Me, proudly: "Je suis anglaise"

Dad, incensed: "You're not bloody English"

Me, confused: "I was born in England..."

Dad, tersely: "Just because you're born in a pigsty doesn't make you a pig"

Me, getting bolshie: "So what am I then?"

Dad, firmly: "Half German, half Scot"

Me, tearfully: "But I don't know the French for that...."

Baby Talk

I finally managed to go and see my sister. The journey wasn't bad at all - the M25, M3 and M4 were all pretty clear for a change - and I managed not to get lost, at least until I arrived in Pangbourne. Then, not being able to remember where her house was, I had to phone for directions. But it turned out that I was only about three minutes' drive away.

Martina is very pregnant. 33 weeks to be precise. Everything seems to be progressing well - and Martina gleefully informed me that everything in the "having-a-baby week-by-week manual" has happened bang on cue. My brother-in-law seems to share my views on all these advice and self-help books - namely that if you read too much you just get confused...

We all spent an agreeable afternoon discussing the progress of her pregnancy: I got to see several ultrasound pictures at various stages - she had to have several scans because she experienced such heavy and unexplained bleeding earlier in the pregnancy - and was treated to a DVD of my nephew/niece at the age of 11 weeks. It was really amazing: he/she could be seen clearly sucking on a thumb. Awesome!

I was also able to feel the baby moving around, though he/she wasn't as active (according to my sister) as normal. It was a little weird watching my sister's bump suddenly move... and I got a bit of a shock when the baby "kicked" my sister's belly-button out!! It's all terrifically exciting, and it's now dawning on me that I'm really and truly going to be an aunt!

The down-side is that I also got the distinct impression I was being "groomed" for babysitting duties...

*gulp*

The baby is due January 10th. Prayers to St Gerard for a safe delivery would be very much appreciated!

Friday Abstinence

Going out for a meal on a Friday night is a bit of a wake-up call for me these days. I usually eat pasta of some description, and I don't find it that difficult to maintain the Friday abstinence rule... even though I loathe vegetables, I like cheese and eggs and can usually rustle something up (despite what I said in my last post about not cooking!)

However, going out for dinner is rather a different kettle of fish... in more ways than one! As well as not eating vegetables (potatoes don't count, especially if they're chipped!), I'm not particularly fond of fish. This limits my choices somewhat, especially if, like tonight, I have to pick something from a set menu.

I know that the abstinence rule on Fridays has been relaxed. However, I also know that the requirement to perform some alternative penance on a Friday has not. And quite frankly, hunting around for something I can do each week is a hassle - which generally means that the penance is forgotten completely.

At first I was worried that not eating meat on Fridays didn't seem that much of a penance. My spiritual director reassured me on that score: it isn't the difficulty that makes it a penance, it's the fact that I have to stop and think about it: a reminder that it's Friday and I need to make a special effort, for the love of God.

Union of Catholic Mothers

I have just come back from a rather entertaining evening with our parish UCM. I'm not a mother, and never will be, but I was assured by our branch president that actual motherhood wasn't required: as long as I can promise to support Catholic mothers and the institution of the family, I am eligible to join. After a bit of arm-twisting, I bowed to the inevitable... I don't often get to take part in their activities and meetings, but I can support them through my prayers. And I get to join in with the odd event.

We've got quite an active UCM in our parish: they do all sorts of wonderful things, from fund-raising to catering at parish events. As it so happens, although it's not a parish event, as such, the UCM will be taking care of the catering side of things at my renewal of vows. This is just as well, because the nearest I get to cooking these days is sticking a lasagne in the microwave...

Tonight about 17 of us went to a local restaurant for a bit of a do. The restaurant boasted live entertainment - an Elvis impersonator, who also did Brian Gibb of the Bee Gees as a sort of warm-up. A couple of my friends commented that he didn't look much like Elvis, and I pointed out that this was because they were thinking of Elvis when he was "Elvis-the-pelvis": young, handsome and slim. If you thought about Elvis when he was getting to be rather porky and somewhat the worse for wear due to drink and drugs, then this chap was the spitting image...

Despite this, he was definitely entertaining. My only complaint was the backing track he used which effectively limited conversation unless you were willing to scream over it...

Ouch...!

H/T to Carolina at The Crescat

Springing Souls from Purgatory

I spotted this cartoon over at Carolina Canonball's blog. She saw it on Tracy's blog, endearingly called Catholic Knitwit... so that's another one for my blogroll...

A Bun in the Oven?

I misunderstood Ma Beck's blog: I thought the references to pregnancy were to her own. However, it seems that she is actually going to adopt, and so needs to raise money for the legal fees.

So Ma Beck is getting down to some baking. I'm not sure what a Pound cake actually is, but the varieties she has suggested here (all made to her grandmother's secret recipe) sound delicious. Fr. Tim (of Hermeneutic of Continuity fame) has already ordered a couple, and Ma Beck has posted a picture of the Mint Chocolate one. Apparently one of the two is destined for his niece's Confirmation... I am rather interested in the proposed fate of the second one...

;-)

UPDATE: It would seem that Fr. Tim thought I was hinting... and the blueberry pound cake will be making an appearance at my renewal of vows on December 2nd.

Robin Hood BBC Style

Paulinus is in fine form this evening. His excellent summary of the latest version of Robin Hood, courtesy of our Beloved Broadcasting Corporation (...NOT!), had me in stitches. What I'd read of the programme previously had made me want to avoid it like a dose of the plague (or, in my case, like a dentist) and it would appear that I was right...

I am sorely tempted to throw my TV out. However, I do need to watch the odd DVD on something...

Screwtape Lives

I loved this cartoon, which I spotted on Carolina Cannonball's blog, The Crescat.

Nature Red in Tooth and Claw

I'm afraid that I'm not really a nature lover. It's all very well, in its place, but that place is generally somewhere else. Don't get me wrong: I love to look at "nature stuff"... on TV, or from inside somewhere warm and dry. Sitting outside is ok, but only if it's outside a pavement café or restaurant.

I also get more than a little irritated by the type of animal lover who thinks animals are sweet and cute and cuddly and more important than wicked humans, or who campaign for animal "rights" while millions of babies are murdered through abortion.

So I had to laugh when I heard about the bird watchers who had all gathered on the Angus coast to watch a particularly rare swallow over from the continent. People had travelled for miles and miles to see this bird, which hadn't been seen for twenty years. Unfortunately, while they watched, a sparrowhawk swooped, and promptly gobbled up the rare morsel...

Dentists

I really hate dentists...

...I suppose they are necessary....

...but I am such a coward, I really hate going to the dentist. I only go when I have severe toothache. I've never met a nice dentist. They always say, "Tell me if it hurts, and I'll stop." And then they ignore you. And why do they wait until you have a mouth full of metalware before striking up a conversation which requires you to respond??

...Unfortunately, I have to go again....

Ouch!

Vocations Crisis?

I have to say that I was very encouraged by this new blog: Orthfully Catholic is written by a bunch of seminarians. And it's great to see that they're not afraid to speak up in defense of our Faith.

...looks like Holy Mother Church is preparing a bumper crop for the Sacred Priesthood... I just hope they'll be in my diocese. Anyway, chaps, you're all in my prayers (and if any of you fancy an excuse for a trip to Blackfen, you'd be most welcome on December 2nd when I renew my vows!!)

Vanity, Vanity !

I have a large streak of vanity in my nature. Not that there's much to be vain about, but... !

I'm blonde. Naturally so. Unfortunately, I'm not the exact shade of blonde that I think suits me best. So Mother Nature gets a helping hand. I don't often have the time to get to a hairdresser (not as often as I'd like) so I am what Fr Edward Holloway (late co-founder of the Faith Movement) once described as a "suicide blonde" - dyed by her own hand...

My roots really need touching up. I have the necessary chemical weaponry, but I am so tired that I have visions of falling asleep in mid session. And I have had enough disasters in my time when I have been wide awake. I really do not need to wake up platinum. Or orange. My hair does weird things if it feels neglected...

...on reflection, it might be better to leave well alone, or there will be tears at bedtime!

Bribery and Corruption

It doesn't seem to matter what age the students are... the appearance of chocolate bars on the teacher's desk for the best work produced seems to have an incredible effect!!

Musical Notes

I spent an enjoyable hour or so visiting a friend of mine after Mass this evening. She's a musician, and it's a real pleasure to hear her comments about music, liturgical or otherwise. Admittedly, as I have zero musical education ("...but I know what I like!" must be among the most hated phrases for those who actually know anything about music, or art for that matter!), most of what she says goes straight over my head...

...however, we both think that Gregorian chant is great, and agree that there's not enough of it in the average parish Mass. I was explaining that I want to learn a little more of the "bog standard" chants for the Credo, Gloria and so on, and asked her if she had any music I could borrow, as I'd only been able to find the special, fancy Mass settings, like the Mass of the Annunciation... The descriptions on Amazon aren't particularly helpful!!

Note to self: never talk to a proper musician about "music" when one actually means "recording"...

Regretfully, as I cannot read music, I had to turn down her offer to lend me her books containing the musical scores for the most popular chants. The history behind liturgical music also sounds fascinating, and she had several weighty tomes on that too, but I think I'd better leave well alone until I have a little more free time, like during the Summer holidays. Or retirement!

I did leave clutching a CD of music in honour of Our Lady, sung by the choir of the London Oratory, and I'm listening to it in the background as I type. It's gorgeous, and I shall have to get my own copy. It's sold in support of Aid to the Church in Need so that's another reason to get it for myself. My friend also informed me that she thought a group called "The Music Makers" had brought out a recording of the most usual Mass settings, so I shall have to explore that one.

"Our Lord Loves Bling..."

This post over at Credo made me chortle out loud. The question was posed, "What would Our Lord wear for choir dress?"

Very funny. And I heartily concur with Credo's summing up!

A Couple of Arrivistes...

...it would appear that we have a couple of new arrivals on the Catholic blogosphere.

Northern Cleric over at Ubi Petrus, Ibi Ecclesia gave me a very flattering mention on his blog. So far he has only two posts up, but we all have to start somewhere, and he'll be bitten by the blogging bug soon enough, I reckon...

(I've never yet met a priest who didn't have plenty to say for himself!!)

...and Moretben at The Undercroft is another promising blogger to watch, I think. I loved his post on Châteauneuf du Pape...

UPDATE: Northern Cleric has deleted the post referring to me in such nice glowing terms (the rat!) and I'm sure he didn't mean to... so it looks as if he got another sort of blogging bug...

FURTHER UPDATE: Yes, looks like I was right about the bug... and he's such a caring, pastoral type that he has promptly put up another nice comment!! Take note, Fr. Tim: how to keep your parishioners happy!!

Blogging Along on the Crest of a Wave...

Believe it or not, I have only just realised that GIF files can be uploaded to Blogger. I discovered this one over at Catholic Action UK and have shamelessly nicked it...

Exploring the Blogosphere

I've been having fun again on the blogosphere: there are some very interesting sites out there. Of course, I realise that most of them will already be known to my readers (sitemeter assures me that I do have more than one!) but at least I have enjoyed the discovery.

Hilary over at The Devout Life is a blogger I shall have to keep an eye on: I noticed that she has four separate blogs on the go (HOW??? I have problems maintaining just this one!!) and that she has a button which describes her as an "Evil Trad"... (something rather appeals to me about that moniker... )

...then there is the rather interesting Catholic Action UK...

I've added both of these to my blogroll now.

Culture of Death

I think the Culture of Death so prevalent in our country has upped the ante yet again. We now have scientists wanting to create embryos for stem cell research which will involve inserting human DNA into cows' eggs. There will be some cow DNA left behind, but this is, apparently, negligible...

Along the same lines, I read this really excellent post over at the Recusant Cricket Club. I hope we wake up soon!

Me and My Mantilla

I hate having my photo taken... I am tempted to refer to myself as the "Lesser-Spotted" Mulier Fortis!! However, the picture of a cat on my profile just didn't look right, especially as Jess isn't even my cat.

Fr Tim offered to take a photo of me, and on my pointing out that I didn't have a suitable brown paper bag to cover my face (a burkha would give the wrong impression), he told me that the mantilla would do...


















I do think he definitely picked the most flattering view: the back of my head. And in case you're wondering, I'm in front of the Lady Altar at Our Lady of the Rosary Church, Blackfen.

And Another One...

Yet another blog which I can't resist adding to my blogroll... Matthew (at Lacrimarum Valle) and his wife are expecting their baby in late January, and since my own sister is expecting her first baby in early January, I shall be watching with interest.

Poets Day

On the basis that it's Poets Day* and I haven't any classes this afternoon, I have been amusing myself... I discovered this little quiz over at American Papist, and needed reassurance that I wasn't a heretic...

You scored as Chalcedon compliant. You are Chalcedon compliant. Congratulations, you're not a heretic. You believe that Jesus is truly God and truly man and like us in every respect, apart from sin. Officially approved in 451. Chalcedon compliant 100% Docetism 0% Donatism 0% Arianism 0% Apollanarian 0% Adoptionist 0% Gnosticism 0% Monophysitism 0% Socinianism 0% Monarchianism 0% Pelagianism 0% Nestorianism 0% Albigensianism 0% Modalism 0% Are you a heretic? created with QuizFarm.com *Poets day = Push Off Early Tomorrow's Saturday

Ha ! Aha !

Your English Skills:

Grammar: 100% Punctuation: 100% Spelling: 100% Vocabulary: 100%

Does Your English Cut the Mustard?

H/T to Cally's Kitchen

More Music...

Funny, but I never had Fr Tim down as an old-fashioned type. But it would seem that just for once he hasn't lived up to his "Father Gadget" soubriquet, and has reverted to old fashioned tapes...

;-)





















What do you think would be on the "B" side?? Comments gratefully received...

New Deadly Sin?

This made me chuckle. I haven't quite recovered from the fact that I'm not allowed my coffee machine in my classroom (and I know what will happen if I leave it in the staffroom) and since I dislike weak coffee so much I'm reduced to drinking cola all day...




















H/T to the Ironic Catholic for this one.

A "Halloween" Outfit to Die For

I have to admit to laughing out loud when I saw what one of the Cavemen dressed up as for Halloween...

...and then I had to try to stop, because I'm in the library!!

Check out the outfit HERE.

And Another Feast Day...

...though a little more solemn! Happy All Souls' Day. Remember especially all the forgotten souls in purgatory who have no-one to pray for them.

Virtual Pet

I probably shouldn't have... I feel guilty enough about not making enough of a fuss of Sylvester (my real cat) as it is...

But I spotted this on Antonia's World, and I thought it was really cute. If you click on the kitten, it comes out of the basket. If you click and move the cursor over the kitten, it purrs. And if you click on the button saying "more" you get a cat toy and catfood to play with as well...

I decided to call him Felix. I found out that Felis sylvestris is Latin for a wildcat. I wanted to call him something to do with All Saints, but my lack of a Classical education means that my Latin isn't up to anything witty...

Yes, ok, I'm trying to avoid doing any marking...

...but the kitty is definitely cute. So for the moment he's going into my sidebar. Unless I decide to trade him in for a duck...

You can get one too... HERE.

Update: I got irritated by the fact that my home computer can't really cope with the cat's presence (it is a very old computer) and since I am fonder of the computer than the virtual cat, I'm afraid Felix has been consigned to the outer darkness... but the links still work if you want to have a go for yourself!!

Happy Feast Day

For all the saints... thy name, O Jesus, be forever blest, Alleluia !

What a wonderful feast day. Definitely a day for indulging in something to celebrate the Communion of Saints.

...and to all those out there who have saints' names, a very happy name day!

(and yes, there IS a Saint Mac !!)

The iPod Playlist from Hell

My little offering on cinema display boards seems to have caught the imagination of Ma Beck at the WardWideWeb... I quite liked the concert tickets from the 6th Circle of Hell featuring David Haas, but my absolute fave is the iPod playlist...

...now how is it that I never think of these things?

Halloween

I don't like Halloween - I get a little cheesed off by all the kiddies being encouraged to go and bug people for sweets... being dressed up as ghouls, witches and demons just makes it worse. One year a friend of mine lay in wait for the hoards with a big basket of miraculous medals, which I have to say is a pretty good idea, apart from the fact that it encourages the little blighters to knock on more doors...

...and one year the children of other friends lay in wait at an upstairs window: when the visitors shouted "Trick or Treat?" they were greeted by cries of "Trick" accompanied by a dousing from above via a hosepipe which the ingenious youngsters had set up.

But this little offering on a newly discovered (well, it's new to me!) blog made me laugh...

Unmissable Films

I wasn't able to think of anything very witty for the motivational posters, so I gave them a miss. But getting your favourite film title up in lights has got to be worth a go. You can try your own by clicking HERE.

H/T to Paulinus.

St Jude, Patron of Hopeless Cases

Today was the Feast of the Apostles Simon and Jude. I have a particular devotion to St Jude, but always felt that St Simon gets rather left out: St Jude being the patron saint of hopeless cases rather steals the limelight!

I heard a story about why St Jude became the patron of hopeless cases which appealed: how true it is I don't know, and since it relies on the premiss that people in medieval times were a credulous and superstitious bunch, it probably is an invention (see The Stripping of the Altars by Duffy for a more accurate description of religious beliefs and practices in the medieval church.) But I like the story anyway.

The idea is that because Jude (aka Thaddeus) is named "Judas, son of James" in the Gospel of St Luke, people were not terribly keen on invoking him just in case their prayers were "misdirected" and ended up with Judas Iscariot. As a result, they would only pray to St Jude when they had tried everything (and everyone) else. The prayers were then answered, and St Jude became the patron saint of hopeless cases.

I was told about St Jude shortly after my return to the Church. I had a very Protestant view of the saints: they existed, but really all this devotion to them went a bit far. I was happy to pray to Our Lady (though I wouldn't say I had a devotion to her) because after all, Jesus was a dutiful and loving son, and every good Jewish lad loves his mother. But the saints were for less "intellectual" people. I preferred to go straight to the top. No intermediaries for me, thank you very much.

Anyway, I was seriously ill when I came back to the Church: in constant pain, and almost immobilised, needing crutches to get around. I'd had several years' worth of attention from various doctors, surgeons and hospitals and I'd been told that it was probably all in my head... I finally had discovered a surgeon who believed I was suffering from something physically wrong, and duly went on the waiting list for an operation that might just work. Eventually.

After about a year on the list I rang the hospital to find out how things were progressing. The bed manager at the hospital had only bad news: due to funding problems, the theatre time for the whole orthopaedic department had been slashed to 25% of the normal caseload. She reported that I would be lucky to be called in for an operation before another nine months had passed, and more probably not before a year.

As I put the phone down, I thought that the situation was hopeless... which made me remember St Jude. I had a copy of the novena prayer from the Shrine of St Jude in Faversham, and I decided to give it a go.

I was so ill that I didn't actually manage to complete the novena (I was taking morphine tablets and concentrating on anything for any length of time was a little difficult) but on what would have been the ninth day, a letter arrived from the hospital telling me that I was scheduled for surgery at the end of the month, and asking me to ring to confirm.

Unsurprisingly, I rang back immediately. I spoke to the bed manager again, and asked her why there had been the sudden change - she had been so definite the last time we spoke. She told me that she had no idea why I had been bumped to the top of the queue, the surgeon had just told her that I would be next.

I was just managing to go to Mass each day at this point, so I went to say "thank you." I was utterly convinced that I had experienced a miracle, though part of me was still terrified that nothing would actually work. You can imagine how I felt when the Gospel was read out, with words that went straight to my heart: "Pick up your bed and walk."

Needless to say, my views on the value of prayers to the saints have changed considerably... and I have since laid claim to more patrons than you can shake a stick at. I shall take great pleasure in having the Litany of my favourite saints sung when I renew my vows (Sorry Fr Tim, I forgot to mention that I want the Litany sung!! I hope you're in good voice!)

Time Off for Good Behaviour

I was in a good mood - the priest we had yesterday and today was one of the Franciscan Friars of the Immaculate. They don't do cheery at Mass, or muck about with the words of Consecration. But they do do sermons. Long ones... I can live with that, especially as today's was on the subject of Purgatory... (Yesterday's was on Confession.) As time off for good behaviour (all that marking, and not a word of complaint... well, not many) I decided to go for a little trip-ette to Bluewater.

I like Bluewater - I think it was a brilliant use of a disused quarry, and the designers really thought about their customers... I mean, all the parking spaces have double lines between them - brilliant for women who can't park (like me) or for women with pushchairs. There are lots of places to stop off and have coffee (about every five shops along) and it's all indoors.

That's about as much free advertising as I'll allow on this blog.

However, in view of the large pile of marking still to be completed, I decided that my visit would have to be brief, and solitary. Otherwise I'd get sidetracked...

I had to pick up my next batch of contact lenses, so I parked at John Lewis and sauntered towards my opticians through the make-up and perfume department. I needed some more of my favourite foundation as I'm running low, so I stopped off at the Clinique counter. They were offering free makeovers. I can never resist playing with makeup - when I was younger I used to paint each of my nails different colours and then do my eyes in coloured stripes to match. Luckily my aversion to being photographed means that there is no documentary evidence to be hauled out at inopportune moments...

I indicated that my normal colour choice tended towards the minimalistic these days. The assistant who was doing the makeover thought that I should try a little colour, just for a change. She seemed terribly keen, so, against my better judgement, I consented to try the pinky-violet combination on offer.

It was a mistake. When confronted by my reflection, I tried very hard to say something positive. I was able to say I liked the way she had applied the eyeliner...

I then popped over to the only shop in Bluewater that really caters for large women. Unfortunately all the skirts were rather on the short side (I'm tall as well as wide, and I like my skirts to be mid-calf) and the tops were skimpy, clingy and cut too low. I've already put up a post on modesty in dress. I spotted a black blouse which wasn't too bad, and so I bought that. I might need to go back to making my own stuff... I'd do it more often if it wasn't so time-consuming!

Oh well, now that brief interlude is over, I guess it's time to get back to work...

Progress at Last

I had to go to the hospital for an early physiotherapy appointment this morning. Usually I go at the end of the day so that I don't need to take time off work, but I thought I'd take advantage of the half term week to show the physiotherapist what my ankle was like first thing in the morning.

I'd had ultrasound treatment in the summer, and there had been some improvement, but it was difficult to tell if it was the treatment or the extended rest which had caused it. I then changed to a different hospital (partly because my physiotherapist was going to change anyway - staff rotation - so I thought it would be easier to pick a hospital nearer work) and the new physiotherapist was convinced that the ultrasound couldn't have been responsible for the improvement...

After about six weeks without any sign of improvement, my physiotherapist finally decided that it was worth giving ultrasound therapy another go last week. I think she only suggested it because she couldn't think of anything else: she had previously explained that with the ankle injury being so old, ultrasound was unlikely to have any effect.

This morning, I was able to report a real improvement in pain levels and mobility. It is still sore, but it's a lot better than it was last week. And although I've been on holiday, I've been fairly busy, and haven't been resting at home with my feet up. So I was given another bout of ultrasound treatment and told to come back next week, with orders to continue with my exercises and monitor pain levels when I'm back at work...

...watch this space!