Sauce For The Goose...

Several bloggers have already commented on the letter by the chairman of Brentwood’s Diocesan Commission for Liturgy which called for the corrected translation of the Missal to be rejected. Fr. Butler sent his letter to The Bitter Pill, which (unsurprisingly) published it, and he also sent it to priests in Brentwood, encouraging them to acts of disobedience in refusing to use the revised Missal.

Ben Trovato, the Countercultural Father, has published the full letter (it was shortened for publication - too strong even for The Bitter Pill?) and he also fisked it most thoroughly. The charming and erudite Fr. Hunwicke* has written three posts about the deeper meaning behind this attack, and I strongly encourage you all to read Liturgists 1: Open Warfare, Liturgists 2: Burying Ratzinger, and Liturgists 3: Nice Old Gentlemen.

The next stage in the attack has been reported by Deacon Nick Donnelly of Protect the Pope - apparently A Call to Action (ACTA) has escalated its campaign to get the bishops of England and Wales to drop the revised translation of the Roman Missal.

According to Fr. Butler, several priests have had serious difficulties with the revised translation. He maintains that they have even gone so far as to change or avoid words and phrases that they find difficult to say with meaning.

Readers of this blog will realise that I have a personal preference for the TLM. But I have never refused to attend the Novus Ordo or questioned its validity. And while I cannot compete with the inimitable Fr. Z in identifying what the prayers actually say (see this week's translation for a taster), even I could recognise that "Et cum Spiritu tuo" doesn't actually translate as "And also with you!" So I'm a strong proponent of the revised (corrected) translation.

But I do think Fr. Butler's letter raises an interesting point.

Before a priest can say Mass in the Extraordinary Form, he is required to be idoneus - that means that he must be able to pronounce the words correctly and understand their meaning.

It seems, from Fr. Butler's letter, that this standard has not been adhered to in priests who say the Novus Ordo.

Does this mean that these priests should be prevented from saying the Novus Ordo Mass until they too are judged to be idoneus?

After all, what's sauce for the goose...

(*Fr. Hunwicke claims to have been training as an Extremely Unpleasant Old Bloke for many years - but, having met him, I can attest to his complete failure to achieve this status!)

Suffering For Christ...

Fr. Stephen Brown doesn't blog, but he posted the following to his Facebook Page, and I found it extremely moving. Christians are suffering for their faith right now, and the mainstream media are silent. Fr. Brown wrote:

"Here is my (amateurish) attempt to raise awareness of what our fellow Christians are undergoing in so many places. This video is not intended to arouse hatred or resentment, but to motivate people to do what they can to help. It is very gory in places, since this is the reality of things. Don't watch it if you're squeamish."

But actually, squeamishness can't be allowed to excuse silence on this issue any more - I think that the more people are made to realise that this brutality is going on, the better.

Things are difficult for Christians (and especially Catholics) in the West (and getting more so) but nothing like this... yet. Pray for our fellow Christians around the world.

Not About Cats...

I've been having a few problems uploading to Flickr. I tried changing the size of photos, the number of photos... I reset my broadband, and even tried to use the old-fashioned cable... Eventually I decided to try Flickr's troubleshooter. Within 30 seconds I realised that it was my anti-virus program causing the glitch.

I have therefore finally managed to upload my photos from Candlemas - taken on my super-snazzy new Galaxy Note 3.

I shall blog about my phone shortly... after a few more cat posts.

And Yet Another Post About Cats...

I received a concerned email from Delia asking whether everything was ok with Miaowrini. Looking at the blog, I realised that I'd actually allowed two whole weeks to elapse since my last update... In fact I've been putting up lots of mini updates on Twitter and Facebook, and hadn't realised that I'd neglected to post on the blog.

Thanks to the further kind intervention of Annie Elizabeth, who borrowed it from a friend of hers on my behalf, I managed to get a larger cage for Miaowrini, and bought a smaller litter tray to fit in it, which made life easier for Miaowrini, Furretti and me. Miaowrini can use the litter whenever she wants, Furretti is no longer locked out of the sitting room and I can relax without worrying that the cat needs to pee.

I took Miaowrini for her first check up at the end of the first week. The vet was justifiably pleased with the way that surgery had gone, and was even more pleased by the state of Miaowrini's leg after the first few days - there was good circulation, the wound was healing, and the cat was able to move her paw. I was shown the x-rays and the need for enforced cage rest was stressed in no uncertain terms. I was given some more painkillers (for the cat) and told that the stitches would be taken out after a further fortnight, but that the collar was no longer needed.

The knee before surgery (you can't see that the cartilage on top of the tibia has completely sheared off, and the ligaments are trashed.)

And here is the leg after surgery...

I then went out and bought the cats some catnip toy treats (and I thought Furretti would appreciate some extra attention.) However, Miaowrini tried rolling over and over in her cage, kicking at the mouse toy in her ecstasy, and I thought it wasn't a good idea, so confiscated her mouse. Furretti enjoyed her mouse toy very much...

I am more convinced than ever that catnip ought to be a controlled substance.

In the past few days, Miaowrini has been getting more and more fractious and has made several breaks for freedom. The last one involved some duplicity on her part: she scooped up all the litter to one end of the box and started crying as if it needed changing. Now it isn't pleasant to be stuck right next to a used litter box, and that is without the feline sense of smell and general fastidiousness. I opened the cage to get the box, and as I reached over, she scooted under my arms and jumped down to the floor.

I went after her, but had omitted to close the sitting room door. Out through it she hobbled... and I hobbled after her (the damp weather has made my knee play up) but I couldn't catch her. She made a mad leap for the kitchen counter (by the cat flap) and I had visions (nightmares) of her escaping into the wild outdoors, but she didn't have enough strength in her back leg to sustain the leap, and slithered down the side of the cupboard. I promptly grabbed her and stuffed her back in her cage. Again.

My main concern is that leaping about will put strain on her newly-reconstructed knee. It's only held together with nylon threads as artificial ligaments until enough scar tissue can form to stabilise the knee. Even so, there is no guarantee that the operation will work - the vet was careful to warn me about this, hence the strict cage rest regime.

We go back to have the next checkup on Friday - and hopefully the stitches will be removed. What happens after that is anyone's guess. I shall let you know how it goes...

More About Miaowrini...

I realise that you are all probably fed to the back teeth with constant cat reports, but I'm pretty preoccupied with what is happening to Miaowrini, so it's either the cat report or nothing. And several people want to know what is happening, so...

I brought Miaowrini to the vet before work on Monday morning. The idea was that the vet would give her an anaesthetic and x-ray the leg, and then decide whether to strap the leg up or just give enforced cage-rest. It proved to be a stressful day. At break time I got a call from one of the nurses saying that the blood tests were fine and the anaesthetic and x-rays would be going ahead after the morning clinic was finished. At lunchtime I got a call from the vet himself, and his first words were "Don't panic, she's still under anaesthetic and doing well, but..."

The x-rays were not good. Not only was the cartilage at the top of the tibia completely trashed, but so were the ligaments - all of them. The vet told me that he had never seen anything that bad in over 30 years of veterinary practice. He then explained that he'd got out his textbooks to see what the best treatment was - and the textbooks merely confirmed that this sort of damage was a very rare occurrence, and that no-one had agreed on the best way to tackle it, because it was so rarely seen.

The vet then gave me the option of going to see an orthopaedic specialist - which would involve a very long drive, a new assessment appointment later in the week, another anaesthetic for the cat, huge fees (around £3000) up front and no guarantee that it would work. The alternative was that he just give it his best shot then and there.

I opted for the latter - it had the advantage of immediacy, and I don't have £3000 to spend on something which might not work... I then had a whole afternoon of waiting to see how the operation panned out.

At the end of the day I got a call from one of the nurses reporting that the operation was over, and the vet was very pleased with how it had gone. Miaowrini was drugged up to the eyeballs, but was doing well, and had even had a little food - this made me smile: Miaowrini doesn't miss a meal if she can help it. She would be kept in overnight because of the major anaesthetic and the need for heavy pain relief, and would be reassessed in the morning, and if all was well she could probably come home in the late afternoon on Tuesday.

On arrival at the vet, I was told that the total cost was about £1300 (not counting the first two examinations)... only the knowledge that it would be collected directly from the insurance company prevented me fainting, I think. I was given several syringes filled with painkillers (to be administered orally), and instructions on keeping Miaowrini in a cage to prevent her trying to jump up and wrenching the ligaments out of position.

Tonight, Miaowrini made a bid for freedom when I took her out of the cage to allow her access to the litter tray. It was rather heart-rending to see that she couldn't manage the jump up onto the low windowsill. I promptly grabbed her and stuffed her back in the cage - stuffed is the correct term. A cat that doesn't want to go into a cage seems to have more limbs than any normal cat. As you can see from the photo, the cage (on loan from Annie Elizabeth, bless her!) is too small for long-term confinement, and I have to try and find a larger one so that Miaowrini can have her litter tray within easy access, as well as a bit of space in which to walk a bit. That's my next project.

In the meantime, another dose of her painkillers (two sorts) has left her sleepy and relatively comfortable. I prayed my office with one arm in the cage, scratching her ears and feeling Miaowrini purr... hopefully she'll get some sleep.

Miaowrini's Progress...

Poor Miaowrini.

Not only will she not be in the running for a red hat, but she won't be running at all for a while. She went back to the vet on Friday evening for another examination, and the antibiotics had reduced the swelling enough for a proper examination. The vet thinks that she has a fracture on the top of the tibia. I have to bring her back to the vet on Monday for an anaesthetic and x-rays. In the interim, she got given another dose of painkillers... and in order to prevent her making things worse by increasing movement with the reduction in pain, I decided to keep her in a cage over the weekend.

This hasn't gone down well with either cat.

Miaowrini is unhappy that she can't wander around. Furretti is unhappy that I'm spending time alone with Miaowrini... She actually threw herself at the sitting-room door handle in an attempt to open it yesterday while I was feeding Miaowrini... fortunately, my insights into cat psychology meant that I had jammed the door shut from the inside...

Furretti retired in high dudgeon, and is now sulking in the bathroom.

Parish Appeal...

Fr. Charles Briggs, the Parish Priest of St. Mary's, Chislehurst, frequently appears on the internet despite not having a blog of his own - particularly on mine, His Hermeneuticalness' and Fr. Michael Brown's blogs.

Fr. Briggs' church is famous for being the parish attended by the Emperor Napoleon III and the Empress Eugenie when they fled from France, and the Emperor was originally buried in the church before being given a mausoleum at Farnborough. Michael Davis, indefatigable defender of the TLM is buried in the churchyard. It is a beautiful church, but the parish is very small, and doesn't have much of an income.

When the church was redecorated in the 1980s, there wasn't enough money to include a proper confessional, and so they are attempting to raise the funds to put this right. This week's newsletter shows the design for the new confessional, and, although half of the cost has been raised through parish fundraising efforts, there is still another £3000 needed (approximately US $4930, €3607.)

If any of my readers would be willing to help, it would be greatly appreciated - and it would help so many in their experience of this wonderful Sacrament. There is a button for online donations (as well as the address for cheques) on the donations page of the parish website.

Cat Concerns...

Miaowrini is very much an outdoors sort of cat. She is also one of the clumsiest I have ever seen. As a kitten, she jumped up on the toilet on the one occasion when I had left the lid up, and fell in. She also fell in the swing-bin when attempting to jump over it. And she has fallen in the bath when I was filling it.

It was only a matter of time before she did some damage to herself. On Sunday night she appeared to have major difficulty walking, and growled when I attempted to examine her back legs. Despite the difficulty, she seemed to be ok when lying quietly, and happily munched through her dinner when I brought the bowl over to her, so I decided to keep her in the bathroom and assess the situation in the morning.

She was still unable to weight-bear on the left back leg in the morning, but since she had slept quietly during the night, I decided to leave her in the bathroom until after work. The minute my last lesson had finished, I headed straight home to collect the cat for a visit to the vet.

Miaowrini lived up to her name, miaowing plaintively as I took her out in the cat carrier, though she calmed down once she was in the car. I'd phoned earlier in the day to make the appointment with the vet, so we didn't have to wait too long.

The vet seemed a little puzzled, and called in a colleague for a second opinion. Miaowrini's knee was very swollen and she had a high temperature, which suggested an infection of some sort, and there was no obvious sign of a fracture (my original fear) but the leg was too swollen to be sure. Apparently there is a slight possibility that she had damaged the top surface of the tibia in some sort of fall, but the vets didn't want to rush to give her an anaesthetic for x-rays, and decided that it was better to give her a painkiller and anti-inflammatory and a course of antibiotics. The other possibility is that she's had a run-in with another cat or a fox.

In the meantime, I was to keep her inside and monitor her. If she didn't show any sign of improvement, or got worse overnight, I was to bring her back as an emergency, but otherwise the vet would try and carry out an examination on Friday when the swelling had gone down.

This morning Miaowrini seemed a little more active, though still unable to weight-bear. I was heartened by the fact that she made a break for it when I opened the bathroom door, but it was pitiful to see that she just couldn't manage more than a quick hobble. I was going to keep her in the bathroom for another day, but it occurred to me that, if the pain was less, she might try and jump up on the bath or other slippery surfaces, and I didn't want her to make things worse, or fall.

As a result, I moved all her things into a corner of the sitting-room. Sure enough, as I left for work, I saw her through the window trying to curl up on the (low) windowsill where she could watch what was going on outside.

It's a case of watching and waiting. Fingers crossed that she won't need an x-ray. Prayers would be appreciated (if only to soothe my frazzled nerves!)

Happy Feast Of The Epiphany...

The Magi have now appeared in the Christmas Crib at Blackfen...

To celebrate, this evening we had a Missa Cantata. Mass IV, Credo I. And We three kings was sung while the sanctuary was being prepared for the blessing of the Epiphany chalk.

I duly inscribed 20 C + M + B 14 above my door when I got home. Annie Elizabeth beat me to it, and has posted a picture already. I had to stretch to reach a spot where the chalk would "take" and my dodgy knees made me wobble, so my writing is all crooked, hence the lack of a photo. Very shaming for a teacher! I might re-do it tomorrow...

Photos from the Mass and the blessing of Epiphany chalk can be seen on my Flickr page.

Blessing Of Epiphany Water...

Today we had the blessing of Epiphany water after the Sunday morning Missa Cantata at Our Lady of the Rosary, Blackfen.

Fr. Finigan always blesses holy water for the parish with the traditional prayers - first exorcising the salt, then blessing it, then exorcising the water and blessing it, and finally mixing the two and blessing that. But the blessing of Epiphany water is rather impressive - a super-charged blessing, with knobs on.

First of all we chanted the Litany of Saints, then a few psalms (Psalms 28, 45 and 146, with antiphons) and then Fr. Finigan chanted the exorcism against Satan and the apostatic angels - and there's no messing about. The devil is given very firm marching orders. He is commanded to depart, and with each prayer I felt that the big guns were being lined up - Almighty God: Father, Son and Holy Spirit, the majesty of Christ, the sacred mystery of the cross, the mysteries of the Christian faith, the Virgin Mary, the faith of the apostles, the blood of the martyrs and the devout intercession of all holy men and women.

Begone Satan, you father and teacher of lies and enemy of mankind. Give place to Christ, in whom you found none of your works: give place to the one, holy, Catholic and apostolic Church, which Christ himself purchased with his blood. May you be brought low under God's mighty hand. May you tremble and flee as we call upon the holy and awesome name of Jesus, before whom hell quakes, and to whom the virtues, powers and dominations are subject...

Then the Benedictus was chanted, the exorcism and blessing of the salt and water carried out, and finally the Te Deum was sung.

And, at the end of it, we were encouraged to get some of the Epiphany water to take home. Holy water to really "kick ass," if you will forgive the expression! More photos can be seen on Flickr. (I also see that Fr. Z has posted his thoughts on Epiphany water.)

Tomorrow night we are having a Missa Cantata for the Epiphany itself, and there will be chalk blessed and distributed. Great stuff - I love sacramentals!!

Starting Early...

I may have imagined it in my fevered and flu-ridden state, but I was sure that someone posted a picture of shelves teeming with creme eggs. Yes, I know that they are no longer only sold for a few brief weeks at Easter, but still, Boxing Day did seem a little early to start.

However, today I noticed that not only are some shops already selling hot cross buns, but that they are actually trying to sell them off at a reduced price...

Will It Be A Whitewash?

I have been indulging in the luxury of listening to the Ashes Test Series while on holiday - the time difference precluding anything other than the briefest of snippets during term time. As I said in a previous cricket post, I don't understand the tactics involved in determining batting order or the intricacies of choosing when to use certain bowlers...

Mind you, given the current state of play, it would seem that the England team is in much the same state of ignorance.

In an attempt to learn more, I started following various cricket-related people on Twitter. So, on Monday morning, I saw the following tweet in my timeline:

Flower: "I'm looking forward to sitting down with Paul Downton (new M/D) and mapping a way forward…"
— Jonathan Agnew (@Aggerscricket) December 30, 2013

This just seemed to be too good an opportunity to miss, even though I haven't watched a single episode, and so have no idea whether it's any good. So I tweeted back:

Are you sure it wasnt actually @Aggerscricket: Flower: "I'm looking forward to sitting down with Downton (new DVD) and watching it" ? ;-)
— Mulier Fortis (@MulierFortis) December 30, 2013

I was amazed to see that I got a retweet from Aggers himself! When I mentioned this in the Sacristy a few days later, the Senior MC did a double-take - I really wish I had been recording. But since neither Jonathan nor Zephyrinus look at Twitter (and to preserve this earth-shattering moment so I can gloat for a bit) I thought I'd put up the proof that Jonathan Agnew actually retweeted me...

The final match in the Series is about to start. England won the toss for the first time, and they've changed the team quite a bit, so maybe it won't be a complete whitewash...

On a side-note, I think perhaps that cricket seems to appeal to so many of the traddy crowd because it is ever so gentlemanly. For example, just now Geoffrey Boycott deplored the use of bad language, explaining that he'd heard (and used) plenty of bad language himself in the changing rooms etc. but that it really wasn't appropriate with women and children present. I like that.

My First Award For 2014...

Yes, I know it will probably be my only award in 2014. However, I live in hope...

The exceptionally erudite, wonderfully witty and seriously saved Bruvver Eccles has nominated me for a Sunshine Award. This is awarded to "bloggers who positively and creatively inspire others in the blogosphere." I was pretty chuffed to find myself on Eccles' list, until I realised that I'm probably only there because of the cats.

Apparently I'm supposed to write 10 pieces of information about myself. I'm not very interesting, and anyway, people only read the blog to check up on the cats. I know this is true because of the number of times I am greeted by the phrase "Oh, so you're  Mulier Fortis! How are the cats?" So I'm concentrating on them...

1. I have two cats, Cardinal Furretti and Monsignor Miaowrini.
2. Furretti is named for Pope Pius IX whose family name was Mastai-Ferretti.
3. Miaowrini is named after the Papal MC, Monsignor Guido Marini.
4. Furretti is furry.
5. Miaowrini miaows at me when she wants to be dried off after getting caught in the rain.
6. Furretti's brother was called Cardinal Catzinger but he died a few days after I adopted him.
7. Furretti demonstrated her traddy credentials early on by shredding The Catholic Times and leaving The Remnant unshredded.
8. Miaowrini is the better hunter - she came in riding a pigeon one morning.
9. Both cats are champions of Cat-holic orthodoxy - they trashed The Bitter Pill and left the Catholic Herald unscathed.
10. The cats have special "kitty steps" to help them get to and from the cat flap, made by Blackfen's Senior MC.

And now I'm supposed to nominate 10 more bloggers who are positive and creative and inspiring. That's made more difficult because Eccles has chosen some of my favourites already...

So, in no particular order, I shall nominate -

Ladies first - Leutgeb (Bara Brith), Annie Elizabeth (Defénde Nos in Proélio), Annie (Arundel & Brighton Latin Mass Society) and Mary O'Regan (The Path Less Taken.)

The gentlemen - Zephyrinus, Matthaeus (Sub Umbra Alarum Suarum) and Laurence England (That The Bones You Have Crushed May Thrill.)

And the clerics - Fr. Michael Brown (Gateshead Revisited), Pastor in Valle (Valle Adurni) and Fr. Simon Henry (Offerimus Tibi Domine)

And In With The New...

So, having attempted to benefit from the Church's end-of-year plenary indulgence giveaway last night, it was a case of showing up this morning for the first of the January bargains!

There is a plenary indulgence attached to the singing of the Veni, Creator Spiritus on the first day of the year. So, naturally, before Mass we kicked off with prayers for the Holy Father, and then sang the hymn. Then it was off with the cope, on with the chasuble and maniple (we don't want any dead kittens) and then Mass.

We've had the gradines up for the whole of the Christmas Octave, so Mass was ad orientem, and I'm rather sad at the thought that they'll have to come back down again at the weekend...

There are a few more treats in store, blessing-wise, at Blackfen. We will have the blessing of Epiphany water at the 10:30am Mass this Sunday (it's not the Epiphany in the EF) - and the blessing comes complete with the exorcism against Satan and the apostatic angels, followed by the Te Deum (real "kick-ass" holy water, so I must bring an empty bottle to Mass) and then the blessing of chalk at the 8pm Missa Cantata on the Monday. I don't know if there's anything else in January, but then in February we'll be getting candles blessed (and possibly having a procession) at Candlemas, and then, possibly, the blessing of throats for the feast of St. Blaise...

Seeing Out The Old...

I love the fact that, at Blackfen, we are blessed with a Parish Priest who likes to help his parishioners clock up as many plenary indulgences as possible! To help us in this endeavour, we get to see out each old year with a final Holy Hour where we pray the Rosary before the Blessed Sacrament and sing the Te Deum in thanksgiving for all the blessings we received during the previous year, and finishing with Benediction at midnight.

If Fr. Finigan gets the timing just right, the fireworks are exploding outside just as we receive the Benediction. This year we were slightly off, as the absence of organ accompaniment for the hymn Of the Father's Love Begotten meant that we sang it at a brisker pace than usual - very necessary if you don't want the hymn to become a dirge. In addition, the rain was really tipping it down, which resulted in a rather muted firework effect just as we began the Divine Praises...

I have loaded a few photos up on Flickr - do go and have a look!

Midnight Mass 2013...

Just for once I'm organised with my photos - well, sort of. I have put them into a Flickr set, but haven't labelled them, or weeded any out (that may change if I get a bit of spare time.)

In the meantime, do go and have a look. I don't know of anywhere else in England & Wales that had a vetus ordo Solemn High Mass for midnight on Christmas Eve...

Fr. Finigan reported that he very nearly had his first Christmas without any phone calls to ask what time Midnight Mass was. Then, at the last minute, he got two enquiries... Better luck next year!

Telling The Christmas Story...

The use of social media for the new evangelisation? Most appropriately, this one's doing the rounds of Facebook...

Christmas Bells...

We have a lovely entrance bell in the church at Blackfen, positioned by the doors from the small hall. But when big processions or funerals enter via the main church doors, we have to rely on the organist (if there is one) spotting that the priest is ready, or a server (if there is one) ringing a small handbell.

Delia (I think), presented Fr. Finigan with a rather nice bell she had come upon in Greenwich market some ago. Unfortunately there wasn't a bracket from which to hang it. Jonathan, Blackfen's Senior MC, seems to keep a weather-eye on Ebay for useful items, however, and he spotted one which looked as if it might do the trick.

He managed to put it all together on Sunday, just in time for the big entrance procession on Christmas Eve...

If You Can't Win Using Theology...

The Anglican Divines failed to win a theological debate against Edmund Campion despite his having been racked beforehand. Four centuries on, and Canterbury has recognised the futility of continuing to use theological arguments. Instead, they have challenged Rome to a cricket match.

The Vatican now has an official cricket club, comprised of priests and seminarians from the Vatican and the Roman colleges. The match between St. Peter's Cricket Club and the Church of England's team will probably happen in September, possibly at Lords.

Australia and England fight to win the charred remains of a cricket bail. I wonder what trophy Rome and Canterbury will contest... ?

Needless to say, I would be extremely keen to go and watch this one!

Ikea Have It Sussed...

A while back, Ikea produced a video which did the rounds on Facebook. They videoed an "experiment" - releasing 100 cats into one of their stores overnight, just to see what would happen. There was precious little "experiment" about the whole thing; as far as I could see, the exercise simply demonstrated that Ikea had worked out the golden rule of internet marketing: if you put a cat in the video, it's an instant hit.

The video itself was a bit of a disappointment to many people, as there was far too much talking about the cats from their owners, and not as much actual footage of the kitties themselves. Watching it carefully, however, made me wonder if this wasn't actually just the first step - and that an actual advert starring the feline explorers would eventually be released.

I was absolutely right, of course, and here is the finished article...

However, it would appear that not everyone is quite as positive about our feline friends. There is a spoof version of the advert, with an alternative ending. I am posting it here for the entertainment of Jonathan, Blackfen's Senior MC, who is forever asking whether my two cats have been turned into vindaloo yet. Before you start sending him death threats, I should just point out that Jonathan actually built the cats some rather nice steps to help them get to the cat flap...