Time & Relativity...

I made a remark to a friend recently about how I felt that time was speeding up. It was pointed out that this is, in fact, perfectly reasonable. When you are a toddler, a year is a huge proportion of your life - perhaps a third of it... and, by the time you are ten, that same year is only a a tenth of your time on earth. In your thirties and forties, that year is a much smaller proportion of the life you have experienced, and so it seems to be shorter... therefore, as you get older, the years pass more rapidly... so time speeds up!

I was reminded of the child's view of time earlier in the week...

Questioned in class by a Year 7 (First year of Secondary School - about 11 years old) "How old are you, Miss?"
My standard reply - "I'm very old... very, very old!"
First child turns to another and remarks as an aside: "Hmmm... very old... so she must be 37."

That child has a future in the diplomatic service if I'm not mistaken...

A Little Diversion...

Occasionally, something hits the news at just the right time to support one's teaching, and suddenly Science seems to be "relevant."

No, my students would not be interested in the annual meteor shower which is visible in the UK at the moment - they're not terribly interested in those sorts of stars.

I was discussing the use of electricity and defibrillators in the treatment of heart attacks. As a slight aside, I was able to mention the British Heart Foundation's latest campaign (which hit the radio news this morning) - hands-only CPR - instead of the more traditionally recognised "mouth-to-mouth" resuscitation. Yes, I know that this involves neither electricity nor defibrillators, but in the classroom one works with whatever comes up on the teenage radar...

Girls Don't Understand The Offside Rule...

Six months to go, and already I'm tired of hearing about the 2012 Olympic Games.

Yes, bah, humbug and all that.

Having said that, I was rather amused to note that the Royal Mint has produced a commemorative set of 50p coins for the occasion. I'm only really interested in one of them - the one designed for girls...

It made me chuckle, and reminded me of this TV advert made a while back for Yorkie chocolate bars.

The chocolate itself was pretty ghastly, actually, being more like the stuff which makes up cheap chocolate coins and Christmas tree decorations. The marketing ploy was brilliant, as was the limited edition "pink" wrapper which followed...

Veni, Creator...

...and, as a companion to my last post of 2011, here is my first post of 2012.

(Yes, I know that technically that was my first post for 2012 and this is therefore my second post, but it felt like the last post...)

We sang the Veni Creator before the Missa Cantata...

Te Deum Laudamus...

I just thought I'd share the last moments of 2011 as seen in Blackfen...

The crib at the Lady Altar. Obviously we're waiting for the Wise Men to arrive...

...and then a little closer...

The Te Deum chanted to see out the old year with a Plenary Indulgence...

...and Benediction given, to the accompaniment of fireworks outside...

So, here's to 2012... Happy New Year to all my blogging buddies - readers, writers and commenters!

(I shall do my best to get a few photos of the Veni Creator to see in the start of 2012 later today!)

On The Horns Of A Dilemma...

The Bishops of England & Wales have declared that Catholics should abstain from meat on all Fridays of the year. This is a very commendable thing for them to have done.

Does the Friday within the Octave of the Nativity count as a "normal" Friday, or, like the Friday within the Easter Octave, is it exempt from the no-meat rule?

This is rather crucial, as I'm going to a party tomorrow night, and I don't like vegetables... or fish... and I suspect that most of the nibbles will be meat-based...

*sigh*

Does anyone know the Canon Law regarding this stuff...?

Blessing Of Wine...

Last year I found out about the Epiphany blessing of chalk for use on the doorframes... but only after the Feast of the Epiphany.

This year, the PP has put a note about it in the parish newsletter, and on the website. This is "A Good Thing" - as Leutgeb would say (with capital letters) - as I do believe we should get as many blessings as possible through the year. They were, after all, put there for a reason. Life revolved around the Church, and the Church, in her turn, reflected life in the cycle of the liturgical year.

I just read, courtesy of the inimitable Fr. Z, that there is a blessing of wine which is traditionally carried out after Mass on the Feast of St. John.

Unfortunately, Mass was this morning at 10am. I was there, but, not knowing about the blessing of wine, I didn't have any with me. I shall add it to my little list for next year...

Liturgical Abuses...

We had Mass for the feast of St. Stephen today, and two of our altar servers were enrolled into the Guild of St. Stephen.

I was on sacristy duty after Mass, and His Hermeneuticalness asked after the health of Monsignors Miaowrini and Furretti. He isn't normally so solicitous of their well-being, and I was instantly suspicious. Sure enough, he pointed out that as the enrolment happened after the sermon, he had forgotten to pick up his maniple when he returned to the altar.

Everyone knows that, when you celebrate Mass without a maniple, God kills a kitten.*

After all, last year Fr. Tim said Mass in Rome without a maniple, and Cardinal Catzinger (Miaowrini's predecessor) died. I did happen to mention that, as both cats were now well over a year old, they technically didn't qualify as "kittens."**

However, I decided to make a bit of an extra fuss of the kitty cats when I got home, and cracked open the packet of smoked salmon I had bought.

Monsignor Furretti was very impressed by the tidbit, and, in her eagerness not to miss a single morsel, she went cross-eyed...

I tried to take another photo, but she wasn't going to pose for any camera. Not when smoked salmon was being proffered. Furretti just moved too quickly, and the photos were just very blurry...

Miaowrini was a little more relaxed, though equally ecstatic with the offering of salmon. She just closed her eyes and nibbled enthusiastically... so enthusiastically that I nearly lost fingers...

And, when I put down a plate of the salmon slivers, the cats decided to tolerate each other - neither wishing to cede her place to the other. Normally they wouldn't be seen dead eating from the same bowl...

*Yes, I know God doesn't really kill kittens...

**His Hermeneuticalness will be getting the vet's bill if anything does happen...

Midnight Mass At Blackfen...

Thanks to Fr. Bernard McNally and Rev. Michael Baldry, we were able to celebrate a Solemn High Mass for Christmas, actually at midnight. Mass was preceded by favourite carols, and a printed sheet ensured that we didn't have to endure any of the politically correct shenanigans introduced by music publishers.

Mass itself was wonderful. I know, I know... Mass is always wonderful, and totally awesome (yes, God became physically present on the altar yet again, like He does at every Mass...) but Midnight Mass is that bit extra-special. After all, there is that whole "entering our world in the silent watches of the night" thing going on...

...the sacred ministers kneeling during "et homo factus est" in the Creed just sends goosebumps down my spine in a very special way at Midnight Mass...

Imagine... Our Lord and God actually consenting to become a baby. To become so vulnerable for our sakes. To rely on fallible human beings for everything. Now, if you wanted to make up a religion, would you ever come up with an idea as preposterous as that?

...and then, to crown it all, our God appears under the form of bread and wine, called down (almost ordered to become present) by the words and actions of more fallible human beings, namely His priests...

What more is there to say...?

Finally Ditching The iPhone...

Yes, it really has been two years since I last upgraded my phone. Well, ok, I'm short by a few weeks, but my upgrade was due early, according to O2, and who am I to disagree?

I had only two ideas when I went phone shopping. The first was that I never ever want to see another iPhone. I like the phone, and I'm (almost) certain that the latest one is streets ahead of the 3GS model I have had for the past two years. The deal-breaker is, quite simply, iTunes. It is clunky, and slow, and a real pain in the posterior. Yes, I'm running it on a PC and not on a Mac... but iTunes is supposed to be designed to run on both.

Unfortunately, syncing my iPhone depended on the use of iTunes. It became such a hassle that I avoided syncing, which meant that, on more than one occasion, I didn't have the latest addresses and phone numbers on my phone. I also found that, if I had updated a couple of addresses on my phone and a couple on my computer, the system couldn't cope, and it went with the most recent update - thus losing important contact information.

On more than one occasion iTunes froze my phone completely, necessitating a trip to the Apple shop in Bluewater. The last time it happened, the staff had problems re-booting my phone back to factory settings...

The other idea I had when looking for a new phone was that I didn't want a Blackberry. Not after the whole Blackberry system went down for three days. Blackberry Messenger is, IMHO, the Betamax of the text messaging world...

After having a little look in the O2 shop, I realised that there really wasn't any choice. I wanted Android as an operating system. There were many more phones running Android than the last time I was in the upgrade market, but the latest version, Android 4.0 (the famous "ice-cream sandwich") only runs on the Samsung Galaxy Nexus at the moment. Given that this upgrade was going to involve another 24-month contract, I wanted the most recent version available.

The Galaxy Nexus is larger than the iPhone - of course, I'm talking about my old iPhone - but the Nexus is thinner and lighter. The home button is "missing" on the front - it appears as a touch-screen button once the phone is switched on - this is taking me a bit of time to get used to, as is not having the power switch at the top.

I'm still getting used to the minimalist feel of the Nexus - the main touch-screen buttons, always available when the phone is on, are home (goes to the home screen), back (goes to your last viewed item) and recently viewed. The last option means that you can have lots of apps open at one time, but I haven't found any real use for it, partly because the only apps I've been using so far are the internet, Tweetdeck, Gmail and my contacts. As I get more apps, I suspect this will get to be more useful...

I've had lots of fun updating my contacts. First I had to export all my contacts over from Microsoft Outlook - another clunky program I will be more than happy to see the back of. Then I weeded out the obvious duplicates - Google does most of the hard work, but there were still items which I had to check and confirm manually. I spent far more time than I should playing with photos - I allowed my geeky nature to indulge itself to the fullest by hunting out photos of people who haven't assigned themselves a photo - basically it makes my phone's address book look much prettier.

There are one or two apps which I shall miss from my iPhone - iPieta being the main one (though I see that there is a variant coming out for Android) - but I mainly used my phone for messaging and checking the internet... and phoning, of course - so hadn't downloaded many apps anyway.

There are lots of features I haven't had time to explore yet - such as the voice-activated search option - and I think that I shall have a great deal of fun exploring... so, if you'll excuse me, I have a phone to go and play with...

A Blessed Christmas To You All...

 

The photo is from last year's crib at Our Lady of the Rosary, Blackfen. I hope to get some photos for this year's crib after Midnight Mass...

New Technology...

I have just treated myself to a new phone. More about that in another post. While gloating over my acquisition, I discovered that Annie Elizabeth is even more geeky than me - and she is considerably better informed. After an enjoyable discussion of technological advances (both of us remember the time when computers had green screens) I asked if she had seen the Medieval Helpdesk sketch. She said she hadn't, so I thought it deserved another airing...

On A Guilt Trip... (Just A Small One)

I have been a very baaaaad girl.

I gave the kitties some catnip mice as an early Christmas present (mostly to distract them from the small packet of smoked salmon which is supposed to be my Christmas present...

Those kitties got seriously high... Miaowrini went into ecstasies, not realising that she had dropped her mouse, and stopped with one back leg up in the air, totally fascinated by her own toes...

Furretti rolled around on the bed so much that I thought she would fall off...

I'm afraid that I found this all very amusing.

Does this mean that I'm a (kitty) drug pusher?

Bones Needs A Hand...

Poor Bones has had some very bad luck - his van has failed its MOT. The repairs it will need are likely to cost between £550 and £700.

It's not a huge amount, unless you are on a low wage, when it becomes an almost impossible amount to stump up. So Bones is running a Christmas Van Appeal, and I'm sure that a few blog readers have appreciated his songs enough to want to help out. He's a little wary of putting his home address out on the internet (sensible chap) and so is asking for donations to be sent c/o St Mary Magdalen Church, 55 Upper North Street, Brighton BN1 3FH.

Remember that he's not called "Bones" by the bank - make any cheques payable to Laurence England.

Campaign To Stop Smoking In Church...

It seems that we shall have to ration our use of frankincense during Mass. Servers will have to be given instruction in how to get maximum smoke from minimum grains of the precious stuff.

According to a report in the Telegraph, the number of boswellia trees is expected to drop by half in the next 15 years or so, and the trees are expected to disappear by 2060.

Just for once, global warming hasn't been identified as a cause - it's all due to cattle grazing, fire and insect attacks. Mind you, someone will no doubt point out that all of those causes can be traced back to global warming...

In the meantime, get ready to change the lyrics of that Christmas carol...

Starting To Feel Christmassy...

Twitch of the mantilla to Blondpidge...

Making Christmas Letters That Bit More Special...

Yup. My two seem to like the taste of paper... if I'm writing on it.

The Bishops Are Reassured... So Why Does That Ring Alarm Bells?

I see that the Bishops of England & Wales have welcomed Government assurances on protecting freedom of conscience with regard to civil unions.

The Government have promised not to put anyone into a difficult position... so that's alright then, because, after all, the Government is unchanging and eternal, just like its policies...

Why does it make me think about the Mental Capacity Act, and how welcoming the Bishops were about the assurances they were given then?

A Busy Sunday...

I seem to be on a bit of a "go-slow" this week... my body appears to have shut down early for Christmas, aided and abetted by some repair work on my car which is both necessary and taking longer than anticipated.

Sunday saw the Carol Service at Our Lady of the Rosary Church... in contrast to previous years, we didn't have a separate children's crib service, so it was a bit of an unknown quantity, but in actual fact it worked out pretty well.

I was sitting with the choir, which, on reflection, wasn't the best place from which to take photos, but I'll know better for next year. Thee are a few more photos on my Flickr page for the Carol Service.

After the Carol Service I went off to St. Bede's, Clapham Park, for Sung Vespers. This is a regular feature at St. Bede's, I understand. At one point it looked as if there would be more bodies on the Sanctuary than in the congregation, but more people arrived to redress the balance.

The service was a real treat, though the church was almost colder inside than outside, Fortunately I had had the foresight to wear a very thick coat. I often forget to bring a coat because I go nearly everywhere by car, and most places are well-heated.

Fr. Andrew Southwell officiated at Vespers, and the parish priest of St. Bede's, Fr. Christopher Basden, was present in choir (though I don't seem to have caught him on camera) along with an unidentified Monsignor who exposed and reposed the Blessed Sacrament (the purple cassock buttons gave him away.)

The photos aren't as good as I'd like - the back of the Sanctuary was so brightly lit that my little camera couldn't quite adjust, despite me playing around with various settings. Still, there are a few more photos over at the Flickr page for this set.

Poaching On My Territory...

For someone who grouses (albeit with a slight smirk) each time I post another kitty update, it seems His Hermeneuticalness has, nevertheless, had to acknowledge the sheer power of cat posts.

Cats are, obviously, the latest big thing in the advertising world...

So, all I have to do is get my two felines their own equity cards, and we'll be set up for life. Smoked salmon and cheese-flavour crisps all the way!

In the meantime, I still have a monopoly on hair and nail posts...