Now I Know Where I Get It From...

I was speaking to my mother on the phone.

"Oh, darling!" she exclaimed, "we're just driving past the seafront, and the sea's very full..."

I think she meant that the tide was in...

What's In A Name...?

Well, if it's "Dan Brown," then, it seems, quite a lot!

The Vatican received a request to film Angels and Demons, the prequel to The Da Vinci Code, in St. Peter's. The refreshing response was a resounding "No!" The film makers may not shoot any of the footage in the Vatican grounds or in any church in Rome.

Father Marco Fibbi, a spokesman for the Diocese of Rome, said: "Normally we read the script but this time it was not necessary. The name Dan Brown was enough."

Archbishop Velasio De Paolis, the head of the Vatican’s Prefecture for Economic Affairs, said "It would be unacceptable to transform churches into film sets so that his blasphemous novels can be made into films..."

Now, perhaps someone could tell the authorities at Westminster Cathedral...

You can read more HERE. Twitch of the mantilla to the Catholic Cavemen's Former Altar Boy!

Cat Stuff...

Well, I did warn you!

So I Guess It Won't Be Valid, Then...?

Fr. Z has written one of the funniest comments I've ever read on the sorry subject of women's so-called ordination...

"...a real bishop can no more ordain a woman than I can transubstantiate a banana into the Body of Christ. It just doesn’t work."

The rest of the post (a fisk of an article reporting a proposed women's ordination ceremony) is just depressing because, as Fr. Z points out, the ceremony isn't valid, so no matter how much the women want to be priests, it just won't happen... and they can't accept that.

You know, this man I know* really wants to be a mother. He feels called to the vocation of motherhood. If he says it often enough, and loud enough, and with enough press attention, do you think that God will eventually give in and let him get pregnant...?


*Ok, I'll admit that he doesn't actually exist... but it's the same principle!

Caption Contest...

Hmmmm... very nice. I wonder if Prada can make him into red shoes...

Twitch of the mantilla to the Curt Jester who has much better captions!

Holidays Are (Nearly) Here Again...

Just under a week left. Why we can't break up on Friday is anyone's guess... but it could have been worse: next Wednesday was supposed to be an INSET day (kids out of school, teachers in), but we put in four extra two-hour after-school sessions, which means that school really does break up on Tuesday!

The reason that middle-aged people reminisce about the holidays starting earlier "in their day" is that the INSET days (or Baker Days, named for Kenneth Baker, the Education Secretary who introduced them) used to be tagged on to the Summer holidays instead of interspersed at odd times during the year. These "odd" days are, I suspect, a real pain for anyone who has to organise childcare, but as so much of the INSET stuff is contracted out to "specialist" providers, I guess that they couldn't arrange for it all to happen during the same week all round the country. I don't know exactly what they used to do in the "olden" days - I've only been teaching for the last decade - but I do know that we never had INSET days when I was a schoolgirl, and we always got a minimum of six weeks' holiday in the Summer... and every now and then it got to be a glorious seven !

Anyway, I loathe INSET days. If they are arranged for the whole school, then they are rarely of much use. The ones prepared by external agencies are the worst: the speakers are usually dire, and they commit all the "sins" we teachers get hammered for... talking continuously for over an hour, poorly prepared audio visual aids, etc. etc.

In addition to INSET and parents' evenings, we also have after-school meetings. Some are more useful than others. Meetings during the last three weeks of the academic year seem pretty pointless, and are really little more than an exercise in box-ticking... however, this afternoon's meeting was one of the better ones. We were split into Year teams, and, as I'm taking over a Tutor Group in September (while their regular tutor is on maternity leave), I was able to meet my fellow tutors. I chatted to my predecessor about some of the "characters" in the tutor group - I think I shall have my hands full. Our meeting was refreshingly short, and finished with a game of Giant Jenga... the loser having to prepare the first assembly for the Year Group in September...

I didn't lose (which was a relief!) though I have been left with a sneaking suspicion that my colleagues are a little crazy...

I Wasn't Going To Say Anything, But...

I know that I do lots of posts about cats. My cat, Sylvester, features heavily, but pretty much any cat will do, and the cuter the better. But, after getting lots and lots of visitors courtesy of blogging heavyweights such as Fr. Zuhlsdorf and Fr. Finigan, and even getting a holiday mention from the Pastor in Valle, I thought it behoved me to try and maintain some gravitas.

And what do I find? First of all, Fr. Ray makes disparaging remarks about cute little kitties (and my fondness for them), though he devotes a whole post to the kitty given to the Holy Father, and then Fr. Tim weighs in by putting up a cat post of his own. Of course, His Hermeneuticalness has tried to disguise his kitty post by dressing it up with comments about the thoughtfulness of the Opus Dei Retreat Centre...

I am not fooled. I see that there is a desperate need for more cat-related items in the Cat-o-lick Blogosfur. Especially when I have noticed that the picture of the kitten shown by Fathers Blake and Finigan bears no resemblance to the description of "Bella" - the 11-month-old grey tabby brought in to stave off any feelings of homesickness the Holy Father may experience while in Australia. To be fair, Fr. Ray did mention that his photo was of a different cat...

Interview Of Fr. T By Fr. Z...!

Heheheheh... I've just discovered this interview by Fr. Zuhlsdorf... of Fr. Tim Finigan. There's a bit about St. Bonaventure for the first quarter of an hour; the interview itself starts at 16 minutes.

I think Fr. Tim might want to start ducking after referring to Terry Wogan as an "English" radio commentator...

Sponsored Cycle Ride

Reading the blog of the Sisters of the Gospel of Life, I see that a young man called Mark Lynch has offered to raise some money for the Cardinal Winning Pro-Life Initiative by cycling from Kirkcaldy to Surrey, a journey of about 500 miles. He plans to leave Kirkcaldy on Monday 28th July, and if all goes well, he should fetch up at Woldingham School, Surrey, a week later, just in time for the Faith Summer Session.

Mark has already managed to raise £500. If you’re interested in supporting the wonderful work done by the Sisters by sponsoring Mark, you can contact the Sisters of the Gospel of Life on 0141 433 2680. Cheques can be made out to the ‘Cardinal Winning Pro-Life Initiative’ and sent to 106 Dixon Avenue, GLASGOW, G42 8EL.

I Must Be Tired...

We've still got a week to go before we break up for the holidays. I realised how tired I must be when, driving back from school this evening, I heard the announcement that Cardinal Hume was to be dug up in preparation for his beatification...

I have to admit that I nearly crashed the car in surprise. I hadn't realised that Cardinal Hume was considered to be England's most famous convert.

...And then I listened more closely: it was Cardinal Newman they were discussing. I think I need an early night!

Active Participation

Active participation at Mass does not mean "everybody has a job" ! It doesn't even mean, in the case of the Traditional Latin Mass, that everybody has to follow every single word. Fr. Tim gave two excellent talks on the TLM; the first concentrated more on the reasons behind Summorum Pontificum, while the second talk was more practical advice on how to participate at Mass. He used a PowerPoint presentation during the second talk which is shown below...

Participating in Traditional Liturgy - Upload a Document to Scribd

Read this document on Scribd: Participating in Traditional Liturgy

No Smoking In Church...

Along with other public buildings, churches in England are legally required to put up "No Smoking" signs. No-one has declared a "No smoking-thuribles" policy... yet... though reading about the latest research on the effects of incense suggest that this will soon be on the cards.

Anyway, I shall suggest to Fr. Tim that he consider using the following variant on the "No Smoking" sign...

Mantilla twitched in the direction of the Ironic Catholic.

Don't Panic...

Hearing about the Bishops of England & Wales wanting to "control" priests in the Blogosphere brought to mind the classic line from Dad's Army: "Don't panic, Captain Mainwaring!" I have searched You Tube, but no joy... at least, not yet. However, I did have fun watching some of the old clips, so I thought I'd share this one: "Don't tell him, Pike!"

Cappaphobia...

This is, apparently, a mental disorder affecting elderly progressive Catholics. It goes without saying that "progressive" Catholics are all elderly, and seem to spend their time going on and on about the "wonderful changes" brought in by Vatican II. The fact that most of the younger people listening put Vatican II in the same historical bracket as World War II, World War I and Queen Victoria escapes these progressive types, as does the equally disconcerting fact that Vatican II actually didn't bring in the changes they love most...

But I digress. Read the following article about cappaphobia (it's very entertaining!) and spare a prayer or two for all those sufferers who will, no doubt, be experiencing further attacks in the next few days due to World Youth Day.

Twitch of the mantilla to Fr. Loren Gonzales.

And The Winner....

...of the "No shit, Sherlock?!" award has got to be the author of this headline. An absolute scoop... then again, maybe not...

Catholics to attend World Youth Day

Mantilla-twitch to the great Curt Jester.

UPDATE: Karen, that incomparable San Diego Oceanic Gem has taken me to task for not including a graphic...

Bishops Contemplate A Bit Of Blogger...

Finally, I get to post something original... and I haven't caught even a smidgeon of this in the blogosphere, so this could even be a Mulier Fortis exclusive. Please remember this little fact when you see it later on more famous (and more interesting) blogs... it would be nice to have a busy com-box for a change...
;-)

I have heard a rumour or two (no names, no pack-drill) that the Bishops of England and Wales discussed the blogging phenomenon during their Low Week meeting this year.

Nothing too surprising (or noteworthy) in that, you might think. Practically everything on the planet, if it possesses a pulse, has heard of blogging. It's even been mentioned on BBC Radio 4.

The interest arises from the further rumour that their Lordships discussed the "reining in" of several priestly bloggers in their dioceses... allegedly. I think there may even have been mention of some sort of "imprimatur" being required...

This is hugely entertaining, in view of the fact that almost no publications bother with the imprimatur these days, not even RE textbooks produced for use in Catholic schools... and, in reality, it is possible to be promoted in Catholic Cathedrals while publicly dissenting from Catholic teaching...

For some strange reason, the phrase "Come and have a go, if you think you're hard enough!" keeps flitting through my consciousness... I have a sneaking suspicion that one or two priestly bloggers of my acquaintance would smile seraphically at whoever attempted to deliver the gagging order and boot the whole issue straight "upstairs" ! I don't know which Vatican Department deals with such appeals, but I have little doubt that the priests in question would get a favourable hearing.

Out Of The Mouths Of Babes...

Sometimes the kids I teach really kill me!

Picture the scene: the end of the school day. Everything's packed up, and the chairs are up on the tables, but the bell hasn't actually gone. Woe betide any teacher who lets her class out early. So, to fill up the time, I say a few sentences to sum up the lesson. Most of the youngsters are listening. One is mucking about with a chair, scraping it along the table top. These are Science Lab tables, so the effect is a bit like nails on a blackboard. I get a bit tetchy, and tell him to stop making that awful racket when I'm talking...

...out of the corner of my eye, I see him grin, and very quietly lift the chair up by the legs, and then put it down again. This is, actually, quite funny, as he hasn't really disobeyed me. Of course, I'm not going to admit it...

So, I inform him that he now will have a detention... His face fell, until I added "on Thursday" when he brightened up, and cheerfully accepted his fate.

"Hang on," I said, "Are you out on a school trip on Thursday?"

"Yes, Miss!" he replied, grinning.

"Fine. We'll make the detention Friday instead!"

I could almost see him kicking himself...

(And no, I didn't actually give him a detention. I kept him back for a minute after the bell under the pretext of writing the detention in his planner, and then told him he would be flayed alive if he put so much as a toenail out of line next lesson... We both were unable to keep straight faces!)

"To Let - Vacant..."

THAT is what should be tattooed on the foreheads of those in charge at Westminster Cathedral.

We have had inappropriate films being shot inside the Cathedral, inappropriate concerts being played inside the Cathedral, and inappropriate books being launched...

Now, it seems, the authorities have given the go-ahead for a charity that supports destructive research on human embryos and the creation of human-animal hybrids to hold an event in the Cathedral's hall. It was held last Friday, 4th July.

The Parkinson’s Disease Society’s website states: "We have been lobbying Parliamentarians to ensure they support human/animal research in any votes on this issue in the Human Fertilisation and Embryology Bill."

Mantilla-twitch to Richard Marsden of Bashing Secularism.

I'd Forgotten This One...

...the celebrations after the release of Summorum Pontificum... I think I was the body behind the camera (Fr. Tim's) for this one...

Twitch of the mantilla to the NLM for putting up a whole lot of memories!

Novus Ordo 2.0

The new, improved marketing campaign for the new, improved Mass...

I laughed like a drain. My favourite bit has to be "Now with 50% less Bugnini" !

Twitch of the mantilla to the Curt Jester.