Very Funny... Thank God I Took Vows!

Fr. Dwight Longenecker has some recent entries for "International Husband of the Year."

First up, we have the entry from Serbia:


Then the UK entry:


The USA has a strong contender:


But I think Poland might just scoop this one:

Pleasantly Surprised...

When I first saw the report (courtesy of the Curt Jester) of three middle-aged Irish priests signing a £1 million recording deal, my heart sank. Was this going to be another cringe-making, guitar-strumming trio, surrounded by liturgical prancers, I wondered?

And then I saw a link to The Telegraph's article on the trio, with video, over at Fr. Longenecker's. The priests are going to be singing sacred music. And wearing clericals. And they sound good...

Just In Case You Thought They'd All Gone...

The Cannonball pointed me to the following post, which really beggars belief. I think I may have been getting complacent, as the WimminPriest crowds at both Southwark and Westminster seem to have given up... or died (well, they were getting on a bit!)

While attempting not to lose my lunch over the keyboard of my computer, I did enjoy the following little caption which accompanied another photo:

Womenpriests gather in front of mobile billboard demanding the ontologically impossible. Hilarity ensues when Rose Hudson notices someone under the age of sixty has infiltrated the photo op.

The only positive outcome of this sorry episode is that I was given the opportunity to check out the blog of the Saint Louis Catholic...

Happy St. George's Day...

Strange how St. George doesn't get quite such a fuss made of him as St. Patrick, St. David or even St. Andrew...

He's a bit like St. Valentine... people have assumed that he was "made up" and so they are a bit embarrassed. They don't want to admit to believing a myth...

I think it might be the dragon that did for him... we don't really believe in dragons - they belong to children's stories. But the dragon was a representation of evil, of Satan. And the princess he rescued represented the Church. Although the details of St. George's life are a little sketchy, it seems that he was born of wealthy parents in Cappadocia, and moved to Palestine on the death of his father. He became a Tribune in the Roman army, and when he complained to the Emperor Diocletian about the treatment of the Christians, he was arrested and thrown into prison himself. He was tortured, dragged through the streets and beheaded.

St. George, Patron of England and martyr, pray for us.

Can Somebody Please Explain To Me Why...

...when you happen to be at home, waiting for a delivery (or similar), the stuff invariably shows up at the very end of your chosen delivery slot, whereas, if you are trying to get home in time for a similar delivery, you find that it arrived fifteen minutes before your allocated delivery time...?

(To be fair, the very nice Sainsbury's delivery man was just sitting in his van waiting for me... )

Heartbreaking...

... there I was, driving down the road to Mass this morning, when I spotted a duck standing at the side of the road looking across. Even though there is a park with a large boating lake nearby, it is not often one sees a duck on the pavement. It seemed to be looking intently at something...

And then I spotted a second duck, in the middle of two lanes, squashed...

The picture would have been worth a thousand words, but not the car-crash which would have ensued if I'd tried to stop to take out my camera!

Which brings me to the joke-in-very-poor-taste for today:

Why did the chicken go to see the clairvoyant?

- to get to the other side...

I Love This Picture...

The Holy Father, young seminarians, enthusiasm... what more could you want?

Mantilla twitched in the direction of Vincenzo... he also has the text of the Holy Father's address to the young people at St. Joseph's Seminary, New York.

Can You Remember Where You Were...?

...Has it really been three years already?

I remember it well. I was teaching RE in a Catholic School and had been talking about the Conclave all day. At lunchtime, Fr. James Clark (our priest chaplain) had popped into the staffroom, and we tried to see what was happening on various internet sites: there was a bit of a scare when the report of "white smoke" was mentioned, but it soon became clear that the smoke was a definite black.

After school I drove back to the parish club... I didn't have cable or satellite TV, and Fr. Tim had said that, as nothing was booked for the evening, I could go in and watch the TV there for a bit... he was at the seminary at Wonersh, I think, but the parish secretary gave me the key to the hall.

I was pretty sure nothing would happen for a while, but it was a luxury to be able to hear what the different TV stations had to say about the whole process... so I arranged my books for marking, turned on the TV and went to the kitchen to make a cup of tea. As I was fishing out the teabag, I heard the announcer state that black smoke had gone up. I was disappointed, but not terribly surprised, and I decided that I'd just drink my tea, do some marking with the news in the background and then go home.

As I sat down, consternation among the announcers seemed to be breaking out. They were sure that the smoke was black... but it did look a bit grey. The crowds were cheering wildly... and the presenters were explaining that the crowds were wrong, because the smoke was black... well, grey... and anyway, to prevent any mistake they'd been told that bells would ring as well as white smoke, and there were no bells... but that smoke did look a bit pale... no, it was grey... and the cheering crowds had got it wrong because there were no bells... but... oh, it's white smoke... but we were promised bells...

...and then the bells started up!

A group of people suddenly appeared - they had assumed that the hall would be empty, and they wanted to set up the tables for refreshments after a funeral on the next day... did I mind? I explained that I was just watching the TV, so I didn't mind, as long as I wasn't in their way.

I had jokingly said that it would be great if Cardinal Ratzinger was elected, but had been told firmly that this just wasn't possible, though he might turn out to be influential as "kingmaker."


That wily old Cardinal Estevez was milking it for all it was worth... but when I heard "Josephum" I screamed and jumped up and down... I didn't know that there was another Cardinal called Joseph, but the "Ratzinger" which followed after the pause confirmed it.

Phone calls and furious texting to friends ensued. The other people in the hall seemed a little bemused by my behaviour. "Errm... it's good news then?" "Very good indeed!" was my delighted response.

I went home happy. And, after an evening phoning friends and being phoned, I heard that Fr. Patrick was to be on Newsnight...

And The Winner Of The Best Church Militant Blog Is...

...not me. Fr. Erik Richtsteig sneaked up on me while I was away on retreat. Not fair, and I'm going to sulk...

Congratulations to all, and especially to Carolina Cannonball for hosting the event. It was fun while it lasted...

Back From Retreat...

...Should a return from retreat be known as an advance??

With the school "Easter" holiday (sorry, "Spring Break") so late this year in relation to the Easter festivities, I decided that it was a good time to make a retreat. Nothing formal, no set programme, just me. I considered Aylesford, but it can be a little busy in the holidays (with day visitors who just turn up for a chance to visit the beautiful grounds) and I thought I could do with some "serious" prayer time. A friend of mine had joined the Abbey of St. Cecilia six and a half years ago, and I'd been meaning to pay her a visit for ages... that, combined with the idea of an enclosed convent where the nuns chanted the Office in Latin, seemed to be just the ticket.

I made the decision to leave the car at home - partly because the ferry fares to the Isle of Wight are exorbitant (making the stretch of water between the island and the mainland the most expensive anywhere in the UK) and partly because it provided a perfect opportunity to get my car serviced and MOT'd.

Guests usually stay in The Garth, a small cottage next to the Abbey. There is another house, The Hermitage, but this is reserved for visiting priests and religious. My room, on the ground floor, was spacious and comfortable, though Sister Claire, (the Guest-Mistress) assured me that it was the smallest of the rooms.

The Garth is self-catering, and so I needed to make a visit to the local shops as soon as I'd had a chance to unpack. I didn't bring anything with me from home, as I just didn't have room in my suitcase, and carrying extra bags of shopping with me on public transport really wasn't an option. At my slow pace, the nearest shops were about 20 minutes' walk away. Fortunately, it was not only dry, but sunny and not too cold as well, so it made a pleasant excursion. You can see the sea as you walk down the road from The Garth...

The first time I visited the Abbey church was for Vespers. The view from the laity's side of the church was pretty uninspiring: a bare marble altar in the middle of the Sanctuary, and on the "back" wall there is a cross (not a crucifix) with the word "Pax" carved in the centre, and a statue of St. Cecilia just below it.

The Tabernacle, obviously bang in the centre as far as the Community is concerned (which is absolutely as it should be), is actually quite difficult to see from the laity's side: it is set into a recess which obscures the Tabernacle from view.

I enjoyed Vespers, and, later on, Compline - I was able to follow the psalms in a little booklet which gave the Latin texts and their English translations, but didn't attempt to sing along. The chanting was beautiful, and made all the more ethereal because the nuns were not visible from the pews on the laity's side of the church. My indication to the elderly Sister at the door that I wished to attend Lauds was greeted with consternation: apparently several books would be needed, and it would prove complicated to follow. I promised to bring my own Office and pray that instead, which reassured her, and she told me that the door would be opened just before Lauds at about 6:50am.

In fact this proved to be very agreeable: because chanting takes so much longer than simply saying the words, and because there are more psalms prayed in each of the Benedictine Offices, I was able to pray the Office of Readings and Lauds together, and then sit and listen to the remainder of Lauds chanted by the sisters as I prayed quietly. This is something I would not have been comfortable with prior to attending the Extraordinary Form; I would have felt "lost" without following every word.

As well as a short time for discussion with the Guest-Mistress each morning after Mass, I was also able to meet up with my friend, Sr. Madeleine. Her own sister (and family) were also visiting, so we had a little reunion in the parlour. I was delighted to see that the grill wasn't quite as ferocious as the types shown in old films!

It is quite dreadful to think that contemplative orders such as the Sisters at St. Cecilia's may soon lose charitable status in this country, because they are deemed by the State not to provide any public benefit or service. On the contrary: the ceaseless worship of God on our behalf and the prayers of intercession for the needs of the world are the greatest possible benefit to our society, and we need to pray that more young people will make this supreme sacrifice and answer Our Lord's call.

Facebook

This really made me laugh. It's not true in my case... at least, I don't think so...


Mantilla-twitch to Ukok.

I found this ode to dead iPods as a link to the Facebook video...

Well, I'll Be...

Created by OnePlusYou

There are, apparently, no instances of "cussing" on my blog. I should ###### well hope not!

Twitch of the mantilla to Fr. Erik (who scores 3.7%!)

Oh Horror Of Horrors...

With only 12 hours to go in the 2008 Cannonball Awards, I see that Fr. Richtsteig of Orthometer has surged ahead in the best Church Militant blog category. Now this is most definitely not on. Orthometer is up for lots and lots of awards, so feel free to vote for his excellent blog IN THE OTHER CATEGORIES. Best Church Militant blog award has MY name written on it. And I've prepared my acceptance speech. So go back and CHANGE YOUR VOTE accordingly.

Pretty please...

She's Got A Ticket To Ride...

...well, it's Ryde, actually! I'm off to St. Cecilia's Abbey on the Isle of Wight for a couple of days, as I thought a retreat was in order. No blogging until I get back...

Time For A Video Post...

After Mass this morning, a young woman was looking for Fr. Tim, as she needed something translated from Latin to English. Unfortunately, Fr. Tim is away in Rome. A parishioner decided that I might actually know a little Latin myself, and so I was approached. Luckily, the young woman wanted the words to Pie Jesu, which is pretty easy, even for a duffer like me.

I decided to check things out on the web when I got home, and found quite a few You Tube videos. I rightly assumed that the Andrew Lloyd Webber version was required rather than the one from Fauré's Requiem...

I prefer Hayley Westenra's singing to that of Sarah Brightman...



But in the new series of Britain's Got Talent, Andrew Johnston sang the first part of the Pie Jesu, completely wowing the judges (including the normally acerbic Simon Cowell) at the tender age of 13 !

Barbie Appeal...

Whoops! Not that sort of Barbie, apparently!!

The Sisters of the Gospel of Life are running an appeal. At the moment they have lots of Barbie and Action Man dolls which need clothes before they can be given to the older children of the families the Sisters sometimes help.

There are a few requirements: the clothing for the Barbie dolls needs to be suitably modest. We're not talking nuns' habits (though you never know!) but none of the really tarty stuff. And the clothing for the Action Man figures needs to be non-military... many of the children are refugees, and have had unpleasant experiences with various militia.

The Sisters thought that this might make a project for someone who likes sewing. Or, alternatively, various dolls' clothes are sold at jumble sales and boot sales. Or you might consider buying new stuff (if you can find any clothes without the dolls, that is!)

The address for sending any items is:
The Sisters of the Gospel of Life, 106 Dixon Avenue, GLASGOW, G42 8EL

Technological Breakthrough !

Wow. There's a website which can convert your computer monitor into a camera. So now you can take your own photo and post it on the web. Ukok first alerted me to this amazing breakthrough. You can check it out for yourself HERE.

About Time I Did One Of These...

You Are a Hazelnut

You are very unique and distinct. You may even freak some people out. Most people don't really know how to interact with you. You get along best with anyone who is super sweet. But you really do get along with almost anyone. You just need a chance to wow them.

What Nut Are You?

Twitch of the mantilla to the Ironic Catholic.

So True...

Great minds, and all that... I was pondering this very thing at Mass this morning.

"You can tell a good priest by how he cares for the fragments."

..."There is just so much to love in the Mass, but there is a special joy for me to watch a priest take the time and care when purifying the sacred vessels. When I watch a couple of priests that I know it seems to me that when they are doing this that it reminds me so much of Michelangelo's Pieta with Mary holding Jesus. There is such evident love and care in performing this seeming mundane action that it all the more brings to me the reality of Jesus being sacramentally present in the Holy Eucharist. The attention to detail to ensure that even the smallest fragment of Our Lord is treated with the reverence and worship our Lord deserves can say more than a dozen homilies on the Eucharist."

Twitch of the mantilla to the great Curt Jester, in one of his more reflective moments!

Family Life

I went down to see my sister on Friday. It was lovely to catch up. We met a friend of hers (with her baby) for coffee in a local coffee shop, and it was interesting to observe other people's reactions to the appearance of children: one young woman seemed to get rather huffy because there was noise, and made a big thing of rustling her papers and finishing off her coffee before stalking out. It's true, she really did "stalk" - there was irritation oozing from every pore.

And yet my nephew was in his pram, and wasn't making much noise... and the other toddler was toddling harmlessly around (followed by his mother, he wasn't just being allowed to run around) and pointing at various objects while his mother said what they were. They weren't being disruptive, and certainly weren't screaming the place down.

I suppose that, a few years ago, my reactions would have been very similar to those of the huffy woman. But, having taken private vows and getting so involved in parish events, I am fortunate enough to have had a fair bit of contact with young families (and large families too) and so I think I may have become a bit more tolerant... just a bit!

I was privileged to be invited to a joint birthday party this evening as well... several families getting together to have fun. The children got together to put on a magic show, and there were charades, and birthday cake, and champagne... and two of the youngsters provided the music while the adults practised their ballroom dancing skills.

Most of my photos didn't come out, as people were moving too quickly, and there didn't seem to be much point in putting up a load of blurred photos. Unfortunately, one of the photos which did come out had a friend moving her hand in such a way that she looked as if she was picking her nose. For the sake of friendship, I think I shall have to leave that one unpublished!

Some Light Relief...

As I sat down in the Cathedral, I spotted Richard Marsden of Bashing Secularism. He came and sat next to me, and I watched, fascinated, as he took detailed notes... in shorthand. I look forward to reading his take on the evening's (lack of) entertainment.

I also spotted Fr. Tim in the audience... taking notes on his PDA. His analysis of the talk will be worth watching out for. UPDATE: It was. It's over HERE.

After the talk, we went for a drink: not the Cardinal Pub round the back of the Cathedral (rumour has it that it is now frequented by trendy liberals!) but the Ha Ha Bar & Grill in the new glass-and-concrete complex just opposite the Cathedral Piazza. This is a far more trendy location... and it has a rather nice area upstairs where you can get drinks brought to your table along with a few bowls of fries (assuming you don't want to have a whole meal, that is!)

The Cardinal's Lectures...

I was unlucky enough to arrange to go to this... Mark Thompson, the Director General of the BBC, was giving a talk on Faith and the Media. I figured that it might be interesting, and I'm on my hols. I should have known better.

The talk was excruciatingly tedious... nothing more than a piece of self-congratulatory advertising for the BBC. Mr Thompson repeatedly stressed that the BBC stood for accuracy and impartiality. Try not to laugh (well, not too loudly.)

An example of how the BBC actually listens to the opinions of its viewers (and listeners) was mentioned several times: Mr Thompson stressed that they had decided to drop the controversial programme Popetown. Strange to say, he failed to mention that the BBC hadn't actually dropped it, but had decided that it might not be expedient to show it on the BBC... not even on BBC3. Instead they decided to sell it overseas... not quite my idea of listening...

Oh yes, Mr. Thompson... I consider the programme offensive, so I don't want to see it on TV, but I'm quite happy for the BBC to peddle the lies and offensiveness about the Church overseas... and please use my licence fee to do this...

The most interesting part of the talk was the question session at the end. Mr Thompson was asked why Christianity (and Catholicism) was considered a valid target for comedy and satire, while Islam and other religions were not. The answer was rather vague, and Mr Thompson's defence was that he'd commissioned "Goodness Gracious Me" which he said lampooned Islam. Actually, I watched a few episodes... it was more a dig at the cultural side of things, certainly not the religious aspects.

When challenged about the decision to show "Jerry Springer, The Opera" Mark Thompson countered with his "but we didn't show Popetown" argument. He also pointed out that there had been several warnings about the content's possible capacity to offend (Oh ! I thought it was advertising... silly me! It was a warning to turn off the TV !!)

One quote which was rather telling: "If you're going to be offended by the subject matter, please don't watch it."

Right. I pay my licence fee so that I can not watch the programmes.

It was rather amusing to note that, despite mentioning the internet, and BBC's I-player site, Mr. Thompson made no mention of the blogs and their role in holding the traditional media to account!

I was very disappointed to see that the "facilitator" for this evening's lecture was none other than Baroness Kennedy of the Shaws, QC. The same Helena Kennedy who has spoken publicly in favour of contraception and a woman's "right to choose" an abortion. She's a great friend of Tony and Cherie Blair - another example of the Cafeteria Catholics so fêted by Cardinal Murphy-O'Connor.

If you can bear it, you can read the lecture HERE.

Sir Dan Of The Nesbitry

This morning I was attending the funeral of the mother of a friend of mine. Actually Christine was also a friend, though not someone I knew well. She was, however, very special, and very kind to me, and I was glad to be able to pay my last respects.

Because she was such a lovely person, there were plenty of people at the funeral, and eight priests concelebrated. As one mourner put it, "I thought one had to be a bishop to get eight priests!"

Among the mourners was Sir Dan of the Nesbitry. He had taught Christine's sons at the John Fisher School in Purley (along with three of the priests, I believe.) I offered Sir Dan a lift home - I believe his trusty steed was on holiday, and while a green Hyundai is a poor substitute for a white charger, it knocks the spots off Shanks's Pony!

Sir Dan is keen on the blogosphere. Somehow or other, despite not having his own computer, he manages to stay abreast of all the latest information, frequently dropping snippets of information into the conversation which sends Fr. Tim, Joanna and me (and probably a few more besides) scurrying to the nearest computer to put up a post or two. His information is always "Spot on, actually."

Anyway, Sir Dan has acquired a snazzy laptop: so, after tea, scones and coffee cake with him and his wife Aine, I was allowed to inspect it. Very nice. Now all Sir Dan needs is the wireless connection to be activated. And then, I'm sure, he'll just have to start up his own blog... Tabletistas beware! Here you can see Dan with his wife Aine and the new computer...

BTW, the photo on the bookcase in the background is Sir Dan shaking hands with the Holy Father...

Looking At Our Lady...

Just under a year ago I completed a meme about Mary. I happened to describe the statue of Our Lady of the Waters, Notre Dame de l'eaux, as one of my favourites. It is in the grounds of St. Bernadette's convent in Nevers, France, and the saint described it as the image of Our Lady which most resembled the apparition in Lourdes. Not an exact likeness, but the closest. This contrasts to the total lack of enthusiasm for the statue most closely associated with Our Lady of Lourdes: St. Bernadette tried not to upset the sculptor, but admitted, "That's not it..." and also, "You have given her a goitre!"

I was lamenting the fact that I couldn't find a picture of Our Lady of the Waters on the internet. I was hoping to take a picture of the souvenir statue I got from the convent in Nevers (strangely, it isn't to be seen anywhere in Lourdes!) but the camera wasn't synchronising with the computer properly, and I forgot...

And then, today, Rosemarie left a comment. There was a picture of Our Lady of the Waters at the bottom of this website... so, without further ado, here she is:

Mac Through The Looking Glass

This morning was positively surreal... I had to go to Abbey Wood, an area no more than 15 minutes' drive from where I live. I used a route that I haven't been down for quite some time, and on my way home, I got lost...

That's right. Lost.

I didn't mind, as the sun was shining, I had my MP3 player playing through the car stereo, and I wasn't in a hurry, but I was driving around in an area I totally didn't recognise... lots of green fields, dual carriageways, diamond-shaped roundabouts (ok, I suspect only one of these, but I saw it more than once so it seemed as if there were lots), industrial estates, and building sites. Lots and lots of building sites.

But no people. And very few pavements (that's "sidewalks" for any of my transatlantic visitors!) As I said, totally surreal...

Action Needed NOW !

For the first time EVER, I am in the running for an award that I actually have a chance of winning. So I'm rather keen to do so.

The 2008 Cannonball Award for best Church Militant blog is mine... at least it ought to be. The problem is that the Catholic Caveman and Fr. Richtsteig of Orthometer are horrendously close. Now it is true that their blogs are better than mine... they may possibly (ok, they are) more militant. But they are also up for other awards too. Whereas I only have this one itty-bitty nomination, and I really, really want to win something.... *snivel... sniff...*

So, go and vote for me... you need to scroll down the sidebar... go on... I shall check SiteMeter later to see if you did... go...

Time To Lighten Up...

After that rant, I now need to do something about my seriously elevated blood pressure. Laughter is the best medicine, so they say (though no-one ever screams "Call a comedian!" when they're injured...) so I thought I'd share this inter-office memo from the Ironic Catholic, regarding the Pope's visit to the U.S. She has some helpful advice and suggestions for the Supreme Pontiff...

Although they're all pretty funny, I think my favourites have to be:

It's probably best that you not turn on the TV. Or the radio.

Could you bless the New York subway system? Goodness knows it needs something.

Hop in to an ordinary daily mass at some point. No big liturgical reason; I'd just like to see the reaction of the presiding priest.

If you see an ad for American Idol, it's a TV show, not apostasy. Well, actually....

If someone identifies him or herself as a blogger, bless them. If they mention my blog, please let me plead my case before excommunication. Thanks!

Warning - Major Rant Imminent !

I was pretty cross before. I am now ABSOLUTELY LIVID !

I have posted previously explaining what my thoughts on Mr. Blair's conversion to Catholicism were, both before and after the event. I haven't always been a faithful Catholic, and I am still far from perfect, so I'm hardly going to lob stones in his direction: I am not calling for Mr. Blair to don sackcloth and ashes. However, it must be noted that he is a public figure, and, Catholics have the right to expect Mr. Blair to hold up his hands and admit that he made mistakes and he is sorry for them.

After all, at his reception into the Church, Mr. Blair swore before God that he believed and professed all that the Church holds to be true...

However, at his speech in The Cardinal's Lectures series, Mr. Blair basically implied that - in much the same way as Prince Charles wishes to be known as Defender of faiths rather than Defender of the Faith - all faiths were pretty much equal.

One wonders why he bothered to convert, if that is his true opinion.

Anyway, despite letters from John Smeaton (Director of SPUC) asking if Mr. Blair will repudiate some of the more blatant anti-life legislation he supported in Parliament, no such statement has been forthcoming. Instead, Tony Blair stated quite clearly in his lecture that he regretted nothing he did whilst in office. Fr. Tim has a summary (and a link to the transcript) HERE.

I consider the silence of the English and Welsh hierarchy on this matter to be a real slap in the face for many Catholics who, because they are faithful to the Church, are unable to receive the Sacraments.

I have read comments on other blogs expressing the opinion that Mr. Blair will have had to give assurances to Cardinal Cormac Murphy-O'Connor, who received him into the Church, that he did indeed support the Church's teaching on matters of abortion, euthanasia, contraception and homosexuality.

Well, whatever he said to the Cardinal, he obviously didn't mean it. LifeSite reports the news that Mr. Blair has been involved in fundraising for Stonewall, England’s largest and most well-known homosexual activist organization. At its annual fundraising dinner a few days ago, the opportunity to have tea with Tony Blair secured a bid of £20,000 in an auction held at the dinner.

Sadly, it appears that Fr. Finigan's biretta is perfectly safe. Twitch of the mantilla to the Catholic Caveman for spotting this one.

More on Vocations

Since my last post on the "Pray for Seminarians by name" initiative, Brad Watkins, Assistant to the Director of Vocations in the Diocese of Raleigh, United States, has been in touch. They have given out 15,000 cards in the past year asking people to pray for the seminarians by name. He also asked if I could plug his own blog, Roman Catholic Vocations, which I am more than happy to do. The blog has posts relevant to anyone interested in vocations to the priestly or religious life (so don't be surprised at photos of nuns!)

Mark, over at Rise and Pray, is involved with a couple more vocations blogs - Traditional Vocations Blog (for men and women) and FSSP Vocations Scotland and Ireland (an unofficial site which has great admiration for the work of the Priestly Fraternity of St. Peter.) Mark has more details asking for people to help HERE.

Old Cats And New Tricks...

Hmmm. I posted my amazement that Sylvester had succeeded in attracting my attention by dipping his paw in water and shaking it at me.

It wasn't a one-off. This morning, as breakfast was a little later than usual in making an appearance, he decided to see if the same method could be employed as an effective alarm call...

I felt all four of his paws. Only one was wet.

This is not good news...

Being Very British...

...I thought it was about time I blogged about the weather! I woke up this morning to find that snow had not only fallen, but it had settled. Everything was completely covered in soft, fluffy snow, the sort that looks beautiful and isn't hard and compacted (and slippery.) Looking at the trees and gardens on my way to Mass was a visual treat, but I was running a little late and so didn't manage to get a photo. However, after Mass, a few of the servers and their friends shot out into the garden to make a snowman...

Unfortunately, they were soon distracted from snowman-construction by the far more alluring delights afforded by pelting each other with snowballs...

Dressed all in black, Fr. Tim proved to be an irresistible target... Check out his view of the matter HERE.

And this was the point at which I decided to beat a hasty retreat...

I was just delighted that it happened in the holidays... I didn't have to be a miserable wet-blanket, keeping kids away from the snow for reasons of "Health and Safety" !!

Praying For Vocations...

Fr. Ray Blake has a post about an initiative from the diocese of Raleigh in the US: they have a poster asking people to pray for the diocesan seminarians by name.

I think this is a fabulous idea. It makes the idea of vocations to the priesthood much more immediate, and young men can see that the men preparing for the priesthood look, well, pretty normal... rather like themselves, in fact!

Fr. Stephen Langridge, the Vocations Director for Southwark has been responsible for some pretty neat posters lately... he might consider trying something along these lines!

Patience Rewarded...

...though it's nothing fancy. I tried to make an automatic "old" film, but the computer over-analysed the photos available, and missed out the ones from the Consecration... which is definitely not on! Then I tried to do it myself, by making all the photos sepia... but that just didn't look quite right. So then I went back to square one, and just put in simple fade transitions (simple, but time-consuming) and, as the video was a trifle too long (there were 308 photos once I got rid of the blurred ones!) I then had to go through and decide which ones should come out...

The music is from Plainsong for Parishes by Schola Cantamus... I didn't manage to record the visiting schola we had at Blackfen, but they were very good too!

In the meantime, enjoy!

An Exercise In Patience

I am not a patient person. It is one of my (many) faults. I am trying to put together a little video of this morning's Missa Cantata (which was wonderful.) Unfortunately the computer program keeps freezing. Possibly the computer is objecting to the large number of photographs I took...

...watch this space!

Bar Buddy Wanted...

Mike Hammond just wants his dad to have a bit of a social life. His 88-year-old father had to move closer to his family, in assisted housing... but this meant moving away from his friends. Mike goes out to the pub with his dad once a week, but feels he needs to get out a bit more...

“He is a very intelligent man with a physics and math degree,” Mike told the Daily Mail. “He used to go to the pub three or four times a week and have a couple of halves of Fosters with a neighbour who was of a similar age. It's the company he misses more than anything.”

...and so Mike's advertised for a person to accompany his dad to the pub. And he's offering to pay £7 ($14) an hour, plus expenses!

Twitch of the mantilla to the Digital Hairshirt for spotting this one!

I'm Getting So Hacked Off With These Numbskulls...

William obviously has far more patience than me. It's either that, or he suffers from hypotension, and prefers "natural" remedies to drugs. Somehow or other he manages to follow the debates in the House of Lords.

He reported that, yesterday, two Peers attacked the Catholic Church, blaming her for the incidence of HIV/AIDS in Africa. Baroness Flather actually went as far as to say that if the Catholic Church instructed people to use condoms, there would be an instantaneous change.

Right. Those people who are so blasé about ignoring the Church's teaching on chastity are going to be quaking in their boots because the Church says they'll go to Hell because they use condoms.

Not.

(Just in case there's any doubt, "chastity" means no sex unless you're married, whether you consider yourself to be hetero-, homo-, bi- or trans-sexual, and if you are married, then sex is with your spouse, and only your spouse. "Spouse" is another technical term - it means "person of the opposite sex to whom a person is married in the eyes of God." There. That wasn't so hard to understand, was it?)

To make the issue even clearer, William makes a very telling point.

According to Baroness Flather's reasoning, the country in Africa with the lowest number of Catholics should have the lowest number of HIV/AIDS cases, because there are fewer people to be led astray by that nasty Pope who forbids the use of condoms.

Strange to tell, it ain't so.

The country in Africa with the lowest population of Catholics is South Africa. They have the highest HIV infection rate.

But just in case you haven't drawn the logical conclusion, it turns out that the African country with the highest population of Catholics, Uganda, has the lowest HIV infection rate. They encourage abstinence.

Now, why do you think that this message hasn't gotten through to the likes of Baroness Flather?

Another (Almost) Local Blog...

Volpius Leonius is from Hexham & Newcastle Diocese. Not quite sure exactly where Newcastle is (north of London... south of Scotland... my geography is about on par with my Latin...) but it's in merry old England, which makes him a local lad. Almost.

Never having studied any Latin, I was scouring my brains (and Google) for some sort of reference to Volpius Leonius. Sadly, neither Google nor "I Claudius" were of any help. Robert Graves' novel is one of my favourites, and a large chunk of my knowledge of Roman history (ok, I'll be honest... MOST of it...) comes from that source!

I was delighted to find that I could make a pretty good stab at translating the quote under the blog title, albeit a bit wobbly on the tense. Go and have a try for yourself HERE.

A New Local Blog...

I just had a comment from JoannaB. I think she's commented before, but I assumed it was Joanna Bogle of Auntie Joanna Writes fame. This time the comment sounded most un-Joanna-ish (I don't think I've ever heard her say "Cool !"... she's more of a "Gosh !" type.) So I looked at the profile.

Sure enough, JoannaB is another Joanna, and she has her own blog: Every Day Catholic Woman. Exploring a little, I discovered that she lives in Kent and is a grandmother (she looks disgracefully young to be a grandmother, I think... but it isn't her in the photo!) I also spotted a face in the sidebar I recognised... none other than Fr. Roger Nesbitt, parish priest of Our Lady, Help of Christians, Folkestone, Kent, and co-founder of the Faith Movement.

So, pop on over to Joanna's blog and say hallo...

Maybe That Explains A Lot...

Apparently, that composer of ditties so beloved of "trained liturgists" has been responding to criticisms of the musical arrangements for the U.S. Papal visit.

Marty Haughen isn't actually a Catholic...

Ahhhh. Now we know why his songs (I can't quite bring myself to call them "hymns"... or even "hers" !) are so devoid of Catholic doctrine.

It doesn't explain why the tunes are so dire.

Nor does it explain why, given that everyone knows the Pope is an aficionado of Mozart and his ilk, the organisers would want to have the "Mass of Creation" as a setting...

BTW... In case anyone thinks I have a real bee-in-my-bonnet about bad hymns (I have) and that since they're only harmless songs, it hardly matters (it does), it might be worth noting that Arius used to spread his heresies deliberately by way of popular hymns. So did Luther.

Ways To Relieve Stress...

William on the Hill sent these to me by email. I had received them before, a few years back, and was sure that I'd posted them... however, a quick search failed to bring up more than a reference to Number 1... Not prepared to look a gift-horse in the mouth, I decided to remedy the omission...

1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.

2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.

3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.

4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "in."

5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.

6. In the memo field of all your cheques, write "for sexual favours."

7. Finish all your sentences with "in accordance with the prophecy."

8. Don't use any punctuation marks.

9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.

10. Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.

11. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."

12. Sing along at the opera.

13. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.

14. Put mosquito netting around your work area. Play a tape of jungle sounds all day.

15. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you've got a headache.

16. When the money comes out the ATM, scream "I won!, I won! Third time this week!"

17. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling "run for your lives, they're loose!!"

18. Tell your children over dinner: "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."

Oh, and as the post where I made a reference to gag number 1 had a funny video attached, I thought I'd re-post it...

Get Voting...

Ok, I only got four measly votes in the 2008 Catholic Blog Awards. I didn't stand much chance up against the Big Blogs. However, I have a nomination in the 2008 Cannonball Awards, in the Best Church Militant Blogs category.

So far I'm not doing too badly. The Catholic Cavemen are running neck-and-neck with me, but hey, they would (I'm sure) be the first to tell you to vote for me... they've been nominated in loads and loads of other categories, and they're chivalrous souls...

So go and visit Carolina's blog, and scroll down the sidebar (voting for the Cavemen in lots of other categories if it makes you happy) and put a little tick in Best Church Militant Blog next to Mulier Fortis...

Go on... you know you want to... Otherwise I'll be grousing all year...

Third Time Pays For All...

It's an expression I heard ages ago, and seems to refer to fulfilling obligations. On a whim, I googled it, and discovered that I would have heard it first when studying Twelfth Night, and then again when reading Tolkien's Lord of the Rings...

Anyway, meme number three comes to me courtesy of La Mamma at Antagonistic Pots and Pans.


1. The rules of the game get posted at the beginning.
2. Each player answers the questions about themselves. (D'oh... I thought I could miss that bit!)
3. At the end of the post, the player then tags 5 people and posts their names, then goes to their blogs and leaves them a comment, letting them know they’ve been tagged.

So far so good... though I'm running out of people to tag...

What I was doing 10 years ago:
April 1998 I was starting my third teacher training placement, in Croydon. "Isn't time fun when you're having flies?" as one frog said to the other...

5 Snacks I enjoy:
Chocolate.

Things I would do if I were a billionaire:
Build a Catholic hospital. I don't fancy my chances in an NHS one... Give money to proper Catholic charities like SPUC, Sisters of the Gospel of Life, Aid to the Church in Need, Good Counsel Network... go on pilgrimage to the Holy Land... go on lots of pilgrimages (hey, you did say "billionaire")

Five jobs that I have had:
Shop assistant (teenager's holiday job), agency nurse, research scientist, personnel assistant, teacher.

Three of my bad habits:
Oversleeping. Irritability. Being irritating.

Five places I have lived:
Belvedere, Kent. (ok, the borders of south-east London.) Peckham, London. Camberwell, London. Forest Hill, London. Holloway, London. (That's not counting all the places in central and west London I lived as a child... my mother enjoyed moving house!)

Five people I want to know more about (a nice way of saying TAG!):
Newhousenewjob (she's going to have to change her profile pretty soon!), William on the Hill, Adrienne, Rita and Cathy of Alex.

And Another Meme...

...Typical ! You wait for ages for someone to tag you for a meme, and then two come along at once!! Fr. Daren (Servant and Steward) tagged me for the 7 Non-important things/habits/quirks Meme.

The rules are simple:

1. When tagged place the name and URL on your blog.
2. Post rules on your blog.
3. Write 7 non-important things/habit/quirks about yourself.
4. Name 7 of your favourite blogs.
5. Send an email/comment on their blog letting them know they have been tagged.

Fr. Daren didn't actually let me know he'd tagged me (breaking the rules... and him a priest!) but I'm so insecure that I check regularly to see who is linking to me. Just to reassure myself that someone is actually reading the blog...

1. I am addicted to email and blogging.
2. I like gadgets, especially mobile phones.
3. I loathe vegetables. All vegetables. I always have, even as a little girl.
4. I do not class potatoes as vegetables, they're just pretending.
5. I love to sing, though I'm not properly trained.
6. I'm crazy about cats.
7. I'm terrified of dentists.

These are actually the seven people I think will be least irritated by being tagged (who I didn't tag in the last meme)...

Jeff, the Ironic Catholic, Jay, Ttony, Mark, the Mother of This Lot and Carolina Cannonball.

Film Meme...

...ok, haven't done a meme for a while (at least a week) so I thought I'd have a look at this one from Hilary.

It's the "top-five critically lauded movies I detest" meme.

Difficult, as I am not really au fait with what is "critically lauded." I rarely watch films unless I'm pretty sure that I'm going to enjoy it because of recommendations from friends who know my likes and dislikes pretty well. I also avoid films I think will irritate or upset me because of their unsuitable content.

1. Brokeback Mountain. Not interested in wussy cowboys.
2. Elizabeth. Not interested in films which lie about the Church and "Good" Queen Bess.
3. Elizabeth: The Golden Age. It wasn't one for Catholics... Not interested in films which lie about the Church and "Good" Queen Bess.
4. The Golden Compass. Not interested in films which lie about the Church, even in allegory.
5. The Da Vinci Code. I'll include it, even though the film was panned, because the book had such rave reviews. Not interested in films which lie about the Church.

So, now to annoy (sorry, tag) five people...

Ma Beck, Karen, Leutgeb, Paulinus and Jackie. There are a lot of memes flying about, but I don't think anyone tagged them for this one yet!

Not A Well Blogger...

I am feeling rather ill - some sort of bug has "got me." I thought it was a 'flu bug (headache, nausea, aching joints, temperature, running hot and cold, shivers) but this evening it seems to have mutated a little... let's just say "intestinal disorders" have been added to the above, and leave a veil of discretion to hang over the exact details... While waiting for the Imodium to kick in, I decided that sitting upright ready for a quick getaway might be preferable to being horizontal... hence the attempt at blogging.

I've just discovered that Vincenzo has a great blog: Sancte Pater. Exploring it, I found a sidebar picture which made me laugh so much I nearly had to make a mad dash for the bathroom...

I do think that the woman ought to be wearing a mantilla though!!

I Just DON'T Believe It !

Here I am, quietly reading through my favourite blogs, when suddenly I become aware of a spray of water hitting the back of my (bare) leg.

It's the cat. Only he isn't soaking wet... he's shaking his paw at me.

The paw is wringing wet, but the rest of him is completely dry...

And the paw-shaking seems to be totally deliberate. He didn't shake his paw until he crossed the room and got to my chair.

I'm being victimised by my cat...

UPDATE: I just checked - Sylvester's food bowl was empty. The water bowl wasn't...