Wednesday, 4 November 2009

Overdue For A Blonde Joke !

A Blonde died, and was sent on her way to Heaven. Upon arrival, a concerned St. Peter met her at the Pearly Gates. "I'm sorry," St. Peter said, "But Heaven is suffering from an overload of goodly souls and we have been forced to put up an Entrance Exam for new arrivals to ease the burden of Heavenly Arrivals."

"That's cool," said the blonde, "What does the Entrance Exam consist of?"

"Just three questions," said St. Peter. "The first is, which two days of the week start with the letter 'T'? The second is: how many seconds are there in a year? and the third is: what was the name of the swagman in Waltzing Matilda?"

"Now," said St. Peter, "Go away and think about those questions and when I call upon you, I shall expect you to have those answers for me."

So the blonde went away and gave those three questions some considerable thought. The following morning, St. Peter called upon the blonde.

"Well," said St. Peter, "Which two days of the week start with the letter T?"

The blonde answered, "Easy! Today and tomorrow."

St. Peter pondered this answer for some time, and finally decided that indeed the answer couldn't be considered wrong.

"Well then, could I have your answer to the second question," St. Peter went on, "How many seconds in a year?"

The Blonde replied, "Even easier... Twelve!"

"Only twelve?" exclaimed St. Peter, "How did you arrive at that figure?"

"Well," said the Blonde, "There's the second of January, the second of February, the second of March... right through to the second of December, giving a total of twelve seconds."

St. Peter looked at the Blonde and said, "I need some time to consider your answer before I can give you a decision." And he walked away shaking his head.

A short time later, St. Peter returned to the Blonde. "God has said he'll allow the answer to stand, but you need to get the third and final question absolutely correct to be allowed into Heaven. Now, can you tell me the answer to the name of the swagman in Waltzing Matilda?"

The blonde replied: "This was the easiest of the lot! It's Andy."

St. Peter was completely flummoxed. "Andy??"

"Yes, Andy," said the Blonde.

St. Peter paced this way and that, deliberating the answer. Finally, he could not stand the suspense any longer, and turning to the Blonde, he asked "How in God's name did you arrive at that answer?"

"Well," said the blonde, "The song goes: Andy sat, Andy watched, Andy waited till his billy boiled."

And the blonde entered Heaven...

5 comments:

Elizabeth said...

Sadly I was only blonde as a child and then a peroxide blonde to cover the grey so I guess I will have to start counting the seconds!!

Miss Ellen E. said...

LOL Sometimes I wish I was blonde!

Agnes B Bullock said...

Isn't envy a mortal sin? We blondes are never jealous of the lesser mortals such as brunettes. We merely accept the bad jokes as our cross to bear in this world.

Mac McLernon said...

Ha... Agnes... I am blonde, so I re-tell the jokes secure in the knowledge that they are totally untrue... except when I have one of my more spectacularly blonde moments, of course...

;-)

Seraphic Spouse said...

...and lo there was great rejoicing. Do red-heads get into heaven? I worry a bit because Judas was... well, you know.

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