...and I enjoyed the helpful hints designed especially for her own parish, St John Cantius (sounds very similar to Blackfen!)... my favourites were:
2) No, we don't shake hands. Or kiss. Or high-five. We just move on to the Agnus Dei.
3) Oh, no you didn't just show up in a tube top and hotpants, like you're in some suburban church where the priest doesn't give a damn. You're going to be squirming in your seat when you find out that our priests routinely give homilies on modesty of dress at Mass.
but I'd recommend reading all of them... HERE.