Monday, 12 January 2009

Cafeteria-Catholic Google...

Ever wondered how the likes of Lavinia Byrne, Cristina Odone and Cherie Blair manage to call themselves Catholic without actually following any of those inconvenient "teachings" of the Church? Well, the Curt Jester has let the cat out of the bag. Apparently, it is possible to use Liberal Catholic Google to screen out all those pesky Vatican documents, not to mention nasty biblical references to unpleasant subjects such as "sin" and "hell"...

About Us

Are you tired of using search terms that give you a bunch of results that you don't want? That you have to go through page after page of results to find answers that match what you want?

If so then liberalcatholicgoogle.com is the site for you!

Our specialized search algorithm will give you the results you want without a bunch of search chaff. No more will you find such sites as catholic.com, Catholic Encyclopedia, etch cluttering up your search results. Though one problem is that even among us progressive Catholics there are people who accept one so-called "dogma" and not another. When we pick and choose what we accept from the hierarchical Church it is not surprising that others pick and choose a different set. But we are a big tent Church and to accommodate this LiberalCatholicGoogle will further filter your search results based on your theological prospective.

When you go to our configuration page you will see a selection of check boxes such as for example:

 Abortion  Contraception  Divorce  Homosexual Acts  Homosexual Marriage  Jesus is God  Jesus is one of many paths  Magisterium  Obedience  Papal Infallibility  Personal Infallibility  Women's Ordination

Just check off the items that best match what you accept.

Or you can just check off

 National Catholic Reporter Reader

And the checkmarks will be checked accordingly.

After then after answering a short questionnaire you're off to search results matched perfectly to what you already believe!

No more will you be bothered with pesky Vatican documents such as Humanae Vitae or annoying quotes from the Church Fathers in your search results. You will find plenty of content from the National Catholic Reporter, Commonweal, America, and other great Catholic sources such as the New York Times and the Washington Post.

Now sometimes you actually want something from a source such as the Vatican or Scripture. In these cases simply checkmark  Vatican Safe Search and/or Scripture Safe Search

With Vatican Safe Search on - we have a special search algorithm first developed for Cherie Blair. The search will go through Vatican documents using the specialized search pick also known as the Cherie pick to return passages of documents that best match your search preferences and search terms. The Cherie pick also works perfectly wellwithScripture Safe Search - on. You will be sure to get scripture such as"judge not' without results such as "go and sin no more" or mean passages from homophobic St Paul. Within seconds you will have select passages to prove to other Catholics whatever you want!

Not convinced yet? Well take a look at a sample of real world search results and you will be:

 

Planned Parenthood Federation of America, Inc.
Donate to Planned Parenthood. Schedule an abortion.
www.plannedparenthood.org/ - 56k

Catholics for Choice
Works in partnership with reproductive health, interfaith and Catholic church reform groups that share the commitment to safe, legal reproductive health ...
www.catholicsforchoice.org/ - 22k

NARAL Pro-Choice Massachusetts : News
Dec 16, 2008 ... NARAL Pro-Choice Massachusetts releases results of a survey of ... Responses from both Catholic and secular hospitals indicate that they may ...
www.prochoicemass.org/news/echosp2008.shtml - 19k

Commonweal - A review of religion, politics and culture
Why Mario Cuomo is a hero for first using personally opposed but ...
www.commonwealmagazine.org

EMILY's List
Supporting pro-choice Democratic women running for congress and governor.
www.emilyslist.org/

Writer's Desk: June 26, 2006
National Catholic Reporter is a nonprofit organization. Contributions are tax- deductible in the ... Understand, I am no absolutist on the abortion issue. ...
www.nationalcatholicreporter.org/todaystake/index.htm

Amazon.com: A Brief, Liberal, Catholic Defense of Abortion: Daniel ...
" A Brief, Liberal, Catholic Defense of Abortion" argues that the current Catholic anti-abortion stance is justified neither by modern embryology nor by ...
www.amazon.com/Brief-Liberal-Catholic-Defense-Abortion/dp/0252025504 - 287k

Pro-abortion Senator Joe Biden
The next Republican that tells me I'm not religious, I'm going to shove my rosary beads down their throat.. ...
www.joebiden.com/ - 9k

Barack Obama and Joe Biden: The Change We Need

Jan 22, 2008 ... And I will continue to defend this right by passing the Freedom of Choice Act as president. "Moreover, I believe in and have supported ...
www.barackobama.com/2008/01/22/obama_statement_on_35th_annive.php - 41k -

4 comments:

Joe of St. Thérèse said...

Don't even joke about this, some idiot might actually create such a thing. Too funny though not to laugh, LOL!

George said...

You may as well type in 'Road to Hell' to get to the links you've detailed Mac!

What the heck does this mean for example, 'Works in partnership with reproductive health, interfaith and Catholic church reform groups that share the commitment to safe, legal reproductive health...'. Catholic???!!!!! - Yeh, right!!!!!

Too early in the morning to stomach this kind of thing, excuse me one moment.......Yetch!!!!!!!

immaculataconceptio said...

Similar to google's YouTube, which is very selective about what popular videos remain on line when it comes to what is truly Catholic, truly prolife, and what truly follows the natural law. If anything is too good, down it goes.

Father George bloggingLOURDES

dillydaydream said...

Now that Cherie has been immortalised by Liberal catholic Googl, we have a situation where a smooth operator is married to a Boolean operator (sorry - that's what passes for a joke among IT teachers - roll on half-term).

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