Thursday, 26 July 2007

Reasons I don't Go To Church...

...inspired by a post title by Fr. Paul of the Lune Valley, I remembered this set of reasons not to wash (which are the hygiene equivalent of the usual reasons given for not going to church!)

  1. I was forced to wash as a child.
  2. People who wash are hypocrites. They think they are cleaner than everyone else.
  3. There are so many different kinds of soap, I could never decide which one was right.
  4. I used to wash, but it got boring so I stopped.
  5. I wash only on special occasions, like Easter and Christmas.
  6. None of my friends wash.
  7. I'm still young. When I'm older and have gotten a bit dirtier, I might start washing.
  8. I really don't have time to wash.
  9. The bathroom is never warm enough in the winter or cool enough in the summer.
  10. People who make soap are only after your money.
  11. I get along very well without washing.
  12. I work hard all week and am too tired to take a bath on the weekend.
  13. The first bar of soap I ever used gave me a rash, so I haven't gone near soap since!


Histor the Wise said...

Awesome post!


greatgable said...

What about I don't like people telling me to wash

fr paul harrison

Serviam! said...

I used to wash myself, but since we had kids I stopped. Too hard to get the kids to sit still when I try washing them!

Great list.

Hilarity said...

I know I know, everybody says you should wash, but I don't see the point. You're just going to get dirty again by tomorrow anyway, so why bother washing in the first place?

Hilarity said...

Another thing I hate about washing is that it raises people's expectations. Once you start, you start hanging around with the clean people you know and then it's like they all expect you to be clean every DAY! It's just too hard to maintain a standard like that, so really, it's best just not to start.

Hilarity said...

...and besides, if you started washing, none of your grubby friends would want to hang out with you any more. They'd all be like: "well, you're too clean for us.." I'd lose all my social contacts and be lonely.

....(hey! this is fun!)

Mac McLernon said...

Excellent additions, Hilarity... I might need to update the post to include them! Thanks!

Hilarity said...

I always thought this list worked as well, or maybe better, as an analogy for going to Confession.

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