Saturday, 15 September 2007

The Problem With Blogger...

...has reminded me of this little gem which did the rounds by email for a few years.

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.

Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensi bl riten styl.

Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru. Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze furst plas.

7 comments:

a thorn in the pew said...

Oh my that was funny. It's early in the morning here and I'm not even fully awake!

antonia said...

hehe!

VickiW said...

Oh, this is priceless. Thank you!

benfan said...

so great

George said...

That's really funny Mac.
I vonder if ze German zenz of humor vud understand zis joke??!!

Great. God Bless.

Berolinensis said...

Vel, being a German miself, I kan asure yu zat even viz our modest kapasitis for humor, ve kan and do apresiate zis hilarius plan. It mit supris yu zat Monti Pizons Fling Sirkus is almost alvas runing on som TV stashn, in Inglish viz subtitls if yu kan beliv it.

George said...

Vel dun fur yur veri funi coment Berolinensis - LOL!
Jus zinking abut zi Monti Pizons Fling Sirkus (or shud zat be Zirkus?) in German mit ze Inglis subtitls iz so veri funi in itzelf zat I am roling abut ze flor mit much lafter!!!!!!!
Herr Jon Cleze mit ze funi wak, ze ded parot, ze Inglish chezes, ze bren zurgens, oh itz tu much - stop, stop I men halt, halt!!!! Haaaahaaaaahaa .........

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