"Truly, it is the indescribable sweetness of contemplation which you give to those who love you. In this you have shown the tenderness of your charity, that when I had no being you made me; and when I strayed away from you, you brought me back again to serve you and commanded me to love you." The Imitation of Christ
Monday sees the start of the new term for me... why is it that the first question anyone asks a teacher on holiday is "When do you go back?" No matter how much one enjoys teaching, the holidays are a definite bonus, and not to be wished away!
To add insult to injury, I now have a stinking cold: a throat made of sandpaper, golf-ball sized neck glands, feeling cold, (well, colder than usual) streaming eyes and a blocked, but simultaneously streaming, nose.
I want sympathy.
And alcohol.
I think I want more sympathy than alcohol, but it's a fine line...
We regret to inform you that we are unable to meet your order for eight maids a-milking. Domestic service and farming are two areas in which the labour force is shrinking, and unemployment has not yet risen to the levels where getting up at 5am (or thereabouts) to sit in a freezing cold and damp milking parlour, eye to eye with the business-end of a cow seems to be an attractive proposition.
The regulations concerning the transportation of cattle, what with the ravages wreaked by foot and mouth disease, mad cow disease and bovine tuberculosis, mean that delivery of the bovine element of this gift item would be delayed well past the eighth day of Christmas next year.
Once again, sincere apologies for any inconvenience caused.
The previous post should, I suspect, really have been headed "Seeing Out The Old Year," concentrating, as it does, on the events of New Year's Eve.
There seems to be quite a bit of discussion over whether the next decade starts this year or next. I know the logic of saying we count to ten starting with the number one, but, on the other hand, time seems to work differently... the 20th century was the one where all the years began with "19" for example... and, when referring to "the twenties" we mean the period 1920 - 1929... 1930 belongs to the thirties!
Whether you consider this to be a new decade or not, it is indisputably a new year. I was able to start the New Year in the best possible way, although I nearly came unstuck: the days are a bit weird at the moment, and I thought that Mass at Blackfen was at 10:30am (the time for Saturdays and Sundays...) I suddenly realised that today was Friday, which meant that Mass was actually at 10am. I scooted in to church just as Fr. Tim started with the Sign of the Cross: not the best way to start Mass...
At the end of Mass we sang the Veni, Creator Spiritus... I love this hymn, but it's very tricky if you don't have the music, as I haven't quite figured out the rules for which syllables have more than one note.
Mindful of the fact that I didn't want to make a complete idiot of myself, I tried to move away from the camera (hence I missed the intonation of the first words at the start, and the camera was shaking until I got it balanced) and I didn't sing for two or three verses... and then I realised that the singing was faltering a bit, and I tried to join in again quietly... The problem is, as a soprano, I find it difficult to sing high notes quietly... and, to be honest, I find singing anything quietly well nigh impossible...
I then felt that I needed a good dose of the Extraordinary Form to set me up for the year, and I headed off to St. James' Church, Spanish Place for High Mass. I left the car at North Greenwich Station as I thought the Oxford Street sales would be in full swing, and caught the tube down to Bond Street, and walked the short distance from there.
Last time I was at Spanish Place, I had forgotten my monopod, and found that it was difficult to get really sharp images in the dim light. This time I had come prepared, and it had the added advantage that I could get the camera up above the heads of the congregation for the video... and, to a lesser extent, for the photos - though the height was limited here by my having to press the camera button!
This time the Veni, Creator Spiritus was sung before Mass, and I captured it on video. The choir were superb, so this time I just listened.
I managed to get some good photos...
In addition to His Hermeneuticalness assisting as subdeacon, there were four servers from Blackfen privileged to serve on the sanctuary, Patricius being one of them. Two of our younger servers were acolytes (I think that's what they were!) and they consented to pose for a shot afterwards with their parents...
I've only just noticed that a few of the photos are a bit crooked, but I'm too tired to try and sort them out (I took over 100 photos.) I also managed to get a few other photos inside the church...
And I think that the Crib is a fitting point at which to end this photo-fest!
The perfect way to see out the old year and to welcome the new one! At 11pm last night, we had Exposition, followed by the Rosary, some time for silent Adoration, a hymn, (Of the Father's love begotten, I really love that one!) Benediction and then the singing of the Te Deum in thanksgiving for the past year...
I wanted to try out the video function on my super-snazzy camera, and this seemed to be the perfect opportunity - first there's the final decade of the Joyful Mysteries...
And we ended with the Te Deum. Sadly, I missed the start by a few seconds! It's also spoiled by the fact that I couldn't resist singing along, and, even though I moved away from the camera, the microphone is quite sensitive...
There is apparently a Plenary Indulgence (under the usual conditions) attached to the singing of the Te Deum at the end of the year. There's another one available for singing the Veni, Creator Spiritus at the start of the New Year... We had that at Mass this morning, both at Blackfen and St. James' Church, Spanish Place... More about that later!
Seven swans a-swimming? Are you outta your mind? Don't you realise that those birds can break a man's arm? I mean, swans are not cuddly little feather dusters... Quite apart from the fact that all swans are the property of the Crown...
And how, pray, did you plan for us to deliver the water? One litre of water weighs 1 kg... that's one hell of a lot of stamps to lick.
With all due respect, I don't think you really thought through the implications. If you wish to amend your order, we will be happy to oblige.
Your increasingly strident demands for various items to be sent to your true love have resulted in Miss L. Toe being signed off sick due to stress.
Having seen the latest item you have ordered, I am not surprised. While we would have no problems in supplying you with a goose, your stipulation that the goose should be a-laying is, we feel, somewhat unreasonable. How, for example, is one to prevent the egg from smashing in transit?
Even if we could comply with this requirement, the chances of getting six geese in this condition, after so many people have opted for goose as their Christmas dinner, is, I would say, minimal. Ditto turkeys, so don't even consider it.
You'd think that we'd be able to supply five gold rings without too much trouble, wouldn't you?
Well, unfortunately, we seem to have had a bit of a run on gold rings. We had a visit from a fine lady the other day, and, as well as waltzing in on a white horse, demanding musical accompaniment, she went and bought twenty gold rings. Why exactly she would need twenty, I have no idea... and all different sizes too. And then she flounced out in the direction of Banbury Cross. Our last ring was purchased by a Mr. Smeagol. He was very keen to know if the ring could withstand high temperatures.
I regret to inform you that we have been unable to proceed with this order as you failed to indicate which phone company and tariff you wished to employ. O2 do a very nice deal, but their birds only call friends and family on a fixed BT landline. Orange and Vodafone have calls to birds, but only on "09xx" prefix Premium Rate numbers, and I doubt that this is what you have in mind for your true love.
Please do not hesitate to call if you have any further queries.
I am writing with regard to your latest order, namely French hens (3).
Be advised that the above items are currently out of stock. This is due to industrial action by French farmers and lorry drivers (they always seem to strike over Christmas, between you and me I think they just want to extend their holidays a bit!) and their blockade of the ports.
French hens are vastly overrated: they are generally on the scrawny side and smell of garlic. Have you considered buying British? Sussex and Orpington are quite nice, you know.
If we can be of any further assistance, please do not hesitate to contact us.
I believe the method employed here is known as "structural gingerbread"...
Sadly, I had left my camera at home, not being aware of the architectural bid being put in today, but fortunately I had my trusty mobile phone camera to hand. I doubted that the structure will survive the predations of various children at a party this afternoon (the stained glass is actually made from sugar), and I wished to preserve a record of it for posterity.
The attention to detail is quite amazing, and inside there is a lego altar with a priest and two servers. I was pleased to note the presence of altar rails.
Perhaps next year we might arrange a High Mass, and I might even suggest a few jelly babies in the congregation...
Sadly, it was directed to the Cookery Department of our Nursery Rhymes Section by mistake, and one of our more enthusiastic elves proceeded to make a very nice mock-turtle-dove soup using the last two turtle doves in stock.
We currently have turtle-dove feather boas at a special reduced rate for loyal customers.
