Patience Rewarded...

...though it's nothing fancy. I tried to make an automatic "old" film, but the computer over-analysed the photos available, and missed out the ones from the Consecration... which is definitely not on! Then I tried to do it myself, by making all the photos sepia... but that just didn't look quite right. So then I went back to square one, and just put in simple fade transitions (simple, but time-consuming) and, as the video was a trifle too long (there were 308 photos once I got rid of the blurred ones!) I then had to go through and decide which ones should come out...

The music is from Plainsong for Parishes by Schola Cantamus... I didn't manage to record the visiting schola we had at Blackfen, but they were very good too!

In the meantime, enjoy!

An Exercise In Patience

I am not a patient person. It is one of my (many) faults. I am trying to put together a little video of this morning's Missa Cantata (which was wonderful.) Unfortunately the computer program keeps freezing. Possibly the computer is objecting to the large number of photographs I took...

...watch this space!

Bar Buddy Wanted...

Mike Hammond just wants his dad to have a bit of a social life. His 88-year-old father had to move closer to his family, in assisted housing... but this meant moving away from his friends. Mike goes out to the pub with his dad once a week, but feels he needs to get out a bit more...

“He is a very intelligent man with a physics and math degree,” Mike told the Daily Mail. “He used to go to the pub three or four times a week and have a couple of halves of Fosters with a neighbour who was of a similar age. It's the company he misses more than anything.”

...and so Mike's advertised for a person to accompany his dad to the pub. And he's offering to pay £7 ($14) an hour, plus expenses!

Twitch of the mantilla to the Digital Hairshirt for spotting this one!

I'm Getting So Hacked Off With These Numbskulls...

William obviously has far more patience than me. It's either that, or he suffers from hypotension, and prefers "natural" remedies to drugs. Somehow or other he manages to follow the debates in the House of Lords.

He reported that, yesterday, two Peers attacked the Catholic Church, blaming her for the incidence of HIV/AIDS in Africa. Baroness Flather actually went as far as to say that if the Catholic Church instructed people to use condoms, there would be an instantaneous change.

Right. Those people who are so blasé about ignoring the Church's teaching on chastity are going to be quaking in their boots because the Church says they'll go to Hell because they use condoms.

Not.

(Just in case there's any doubt, "chastity" means no sex unless you're married, whether you consider yourself to be hetero-, homo-, bi- or trans-sexual, and if you are married, then sex is with your spouse, and only your spouse. "Spouse" is another technical term - it means "person of the opposite sex to whom a person is married in the eyes of God." There. That wasn't so hard to understand, was it?)

To make the issue even clearer, William makes a very telling point.

According to Baroness Flather's reasoning, the country in Africa with the lowest number of Catholics should have the lowest number of HIV/AIDS cases, because there are fewer people to be led astray by that nasty Pope who forbids the use of condoms.

Strange to tell, it ain't so.

The country in Africa with the lowest population of Catholics is South Africa. They have the highest HIV infection rate.

But just in case you haven't drawn the logical conclusion, it turns out that the African country with the highest population of Catholics, Uganda, has the lowest HIV infection rate. They encourage abstinence.

Now, why do you think that this message hasn't gotten through to the likes of Baroness Flather?

Another (Almost) Local Blog...

Volpius Leonius is from Hexham & Newcastle Diocese. Not quite sure exactly where Newcastle is (north of London... south of Scotland... my geography is about on par with my Latin...) but it's in merry old England, which makes him a local lad. Almost.

Never having studied any Latin, I was scouring my brains (and Google) for some sort of reference to Volpius Leonius. Sadly, neither Google nor "I Claudius" were of any help. Robert Graves' novel is one of my favourites, and a large chunk of my knowledge of Roman history (ok, I'll be honest... MOST of it...) comes from that source!

I was delighted to find that I could make a pretty good stab at translating the quote under the blog title, albeit a bit wobbly on the tense. Go and have a try for yourself HERE.

A New Local Blog...

I just had a comment from JoannaB. I think she's commented before, but I assumed it was Joanna Bogle of Auntie Joanna Writes fame. This time the comment sounded most un-Joanna-ish (I don't think I've ever heard her say "Cool !"... she's more of a "Gosh !" type.) So I looked at the profile.

Sure enough, JoannaB is another Joanna, and she has her own blog: Every Day Catholic Woman. Exploring a little, I discovered that she lives in Kent and is a grandmother (she looks disgracefully young to be a grandmother, I think... but it isn't her in the photo!) I also spotted a face in the sidebar I recognised... none other than Fr. Roger Nesbitt, parish priest of Our Lady, Help of Christians, Folkestone, Kent, and co-founder of the Faith Movement.

So, pop on over to Joanna's blog and say hallo...

Maybe That Explains A Lot...

Apparently, that composer of ditties so beloved of "trained liturgists" has been responding to criticisms of the musical arrangements for the U.S. Papal visit.

Marty Haughen isn't actually a Catholic...

Ahhhh. Now we know why his songs (I can't quite bring myself to call them "hymns"... or even "hers" !) are so devoid of Catholic doctrine.

It doesn't explain why the tunes are so dire.

Nor does it explain why, given that everyone knows the Pope is an aficionado of Mozart and his ilk, the organisers would want to have the "Mass of Creation" as a setting...

BTW... In case anyone thinks I have a real bee-in-my-bonnet about bad hymns (I have) and that since they're only harmless songs, it hardly matters (it does), it might be worth noting that Arius used to spread his heresies deliberately by way of popular hymns. So did Luther.

Ways To Relieve Stress...

William on the Hill sent these to me by email. I had received them before, a few years back, and was sure that I'd posted them... however, a quick search failed to bring up more than a reference to Number 1... Not prepared to look a gift-horse in the mouth, I decided to remedy the omission...

1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.

2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.

3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.

4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "in."

5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.

6. In the memo field of all your cheques, write "for sexual favours."

7. Finish all your sentences with "in accordance with the prophecy."

8. Don't use any punctuation marks.

9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.

10. Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.

11. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."

12. Sing along at the opera.

13. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.

14. Put mosquito netting around your work area. Play a tape of jungle sounds all day.

15. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you've got a headache.

16. When the money comes out the ATM, scream "I won!, I won! Third time this week!"

17. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling "run for your lives, they're loose!!"

18. Tell your children over dinner: "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."

Oh, and as the post where I made a reference to gag number 1 had a funny video attached, I thought I'd re-post it...

Get Voting...

Ok, I only got four measly votes in the 2008 Catholic Blog Awards. I didn't stand much chance up against the Big Blogs. However, I have a nomination in the 2008 Cannonball Awards, in the Best Church Militant Blogs category.

So far I'm not doing too badly. The Catholic Cavemen are running neck-and-neck with me, but hey, they would (I'm sure) be the first to tell you to vote for me... they've been nominated in loads and loads of other categories, and they're chivalrous souls...

So go and visit Carolina's blog, and scroll down the sidebar (voting for the Cavemen in lots of other categories if it makes you happy) and put a little tick in Best Church Militant Blog next to Mulier Fortis...

Go on... you know you want to... Otherwise I'll be grousing all year...

Third Time Pays For All...

It's an expression I heard ages ago, and seems to refer to fulfilling obligations. On a whim, I googled it, and discovered that I would have heard it first when studying Twelfth Night, and then again when reading Tolkien's Lord of the Rings...

Anyway, meme number three comes to me courtesy of La Mamma at Antagonistic Pots and Pans.


1. The rules of the game get posted at the beginning.
2. Each player answers the questions about themselves. (D'oh... I thought I could miss that bit!)
3. At the end of the post, the player then tags 5 people and posts their names, then goes to their blogs and leaves them a comment, letting them know they’ve been tagged.

So far so good... though I'm running out of people to tag...

What I was doing 10 years ago:
April 1998 I was starting my third teacher training placement, in Croydon. "Isn't time fun when you're having flies?" as one frog said to the other...

5 Snacks I enjoy:
Chocolate.

Things I would do if I were a billionaire:
Build a Catholic hospital. I don't fancy my chances in an NHS one... Give money to proper Catholic charities like SPUC, Sisters of the Gospel of Life, Aid to the Church in Need, Good Counsel Network... go on pilgrimage to the Holy Land... go on lots of pilgrimages (hey, you did say "billionaire")

Five jobs that I have had:
Shop assistant (teenager's holiday job), agency nurse, research scientist, personnel assistant, teacher.

Three of my bad habits:
Oversleeping. Irritability. Being irritating.

Five places I have lived:
Belvedere, Kent. (ok, the borders of south-east London.) Peckham, London. Camberwell, London. Forest Hill, London. Holloway, London. (That's not counting all the places in central and west London I lived as a child... my mother enjoyed moving house!)

Five people I want to know more about (a nice way of saying TAG!):
Newhousenewjob (she's going to have to change her profile pretty soon!), William on the Hill, Adrienne, Rita and Cathy of Alex.

And Another Meme...

...Typical ! You wait for ages for someone to tag you for a meme, and then two come along at once!! Fr. Daren (Servant and Steward) tagged me for the 7 Non-important things/habits/quirks Meme.

The rules are simple:

1. When tagged place the name and URL on your blog.
2. Post rules on your blog.
3. Write 7 non-important things/habit/quirks about yourself.
4. Name 7 of your favourite blogs.
5. Send an email/comment on their blog letting them know they have been tagged.

Fr. Daren didn't actually let me know he'd tagged me (breaking the rules... and him a priest!) but I'm so insecure that I check regularly to see who is linking to me. Just to reassure myself that someone is actually reading the blog...

1. I am addicted to email and blogging.
2. I like gadgets, especially mobile phones.
3. I loathe vegetables. All vegetables. I always have, even as a little girl.
4. I do not class potatoes as vegetables, they're just pretending.
5. I love to sing, though I'm not properly trained.
6. I'm crazy about cats.
7. I'm terrified of dentists.

These are actually the seven people I think will be least irritated by being tagged (who I didn't tag in the last meme)...

Jeff, the Ironic Catholic, Jay, Ttony, Mark, the Mother of This Lot and Carolina Cannonball.

Film Meme...

...ok, haven't done a meme for a while (at least a week) so I thought I'd have a look at this one from Hilary.

It's the "top-five critically lauded movies I detest" meme.

Difficult, as I am not really au fait with what is "critically lauded." I rarely watch films unless I'm pretty sure that I'm going to enjoy it because of recommendations from friends who know my likes and dislikes pretty well. I also avoid films I think will irritate or upset me because of their unsuitable content.

1. Brokeback Mountain. Not interested in wussy cowboys.
2. Elizabeth. Not interested in films which lie about the Church and "Good" Queen Bess.
3. Elizabeth: The Golden Age. It wasn't one for Catholics... Not interested in films which lie about the Church and "Good" Queen Bess.
4. The Golden Compass. Not interested in films which lie about the Church, even in allegory.
5. The Da Vinci Code. I'll include it, even though the film was panned, because the book had such rave reviews. Not interested in films which lie about the Church.

So, now to annoy (sorry, tag) five people...

Ma Beck, Karen, Leutgeb, Paulinus and Jackie. There are a lot of memes flying about, but I don't think anyone tagged them for this one yet!

Not A Well Blogger...

I am feeling rather ill - some sort of bug has "got me." I thought it was a 'flu bug (headache, nausea, aching joints, temperature, running hot and cold, shivers) but this evening it seems to have mutated a little... let's just say "intestinal disorders" have been added to the above, and leave a veil of discretion to hang over the exact details... While waiting for the Imodium to kick in, I decided that sitting upright ready for a quick getaway might be preferable to being horizontal... hence the attempt at blogging.

I've just discovered that Vincenzo has a great blog: Sancte Pater. Exploring it, I found a sidebar picture which made me laugh so much I nearly had to make a mad dash for the bathroom...

I do think that the woman ought to be wearing a mantilla though!!

I Just DON'T Believe It !

Here I am, quietly reading through my favourite blogs, when suddenly I become aware of a spray of water hitting the back of my (bare) leg.

It's the cat. Only he isn't soaking wet... he's shaking his paw at me.

The paw is wringing wet, but the rest of him is completely dry...

And the paw-shaking seems to be totally deliberate. He didn't shake his paw until he crossed the room and got to my chair.

I'm being victimised by my cat...

UPDATE: I just checked - Sylvester's food bowl was empty. The water bowl wasn't...