An Oldie, But Definitely A Goodie...

This was doing the rounds by email a few years ago. Twitch of the mantilla to Fr. Z for taking us down memory lane...


New Element Discovered

Lawrence Livermore Laboratories has discovered the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element, Governmentium (Gv), has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.

These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.

Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert; however, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A tiny amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second, to take from four days to four years to complete.

Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2- 6 years; it does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium’s mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.

This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical morass.

When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium , an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.

May God help us survive this growing mass before it becomes a black hole that sucks us all in.

Back Again...

Yes, I have been away again, this time visiting my sister, brother-in-law, and two adorable little nephews. Nephew number 1 has reached the stage where he is able to hold intelligible conversations... well, intelligible to his parents. I needed to employ the services of a translator, and occasionally indulged in a bit of inspired guesswork... "Oh, you want a biscuit? Ok, let's go and find out where Mummy keeps the biscuits..." Sure enough, he knew where that was...

Nephew number 2 is five months old, and is one of the most placid, smiley little babies I have ever encountered. He's teething, but seemed to find my finger to be an acceptable substitute for his normal teething ring.

I seem to be making a habit of this being bitten malarkey. First the fish, now my nephew.

Everyone's a critic.

The Suppository Has Spoken...

As I mentioned before, Elena Curti of The Tablet (aka The Bitter Pill, or, occasionally, The Suppository) has tried to do a hatchet-job on Fr. Tim.

The article is inaccurate in several respects: Fr. Tim has done a fisk á la Fr. Z. in which he points out the many, many mistakes. I agree wholeheartedly with Fr. Zuhlsdorf's analysis: this garbage is not going to stop Fr. Tim, so it's clear that it was written with the sole intention of intimidating and discouraging any other Parish Priests who might be considering implementing Summorum Pontificum in their own parishes. The whole tone (once you get past the barbed comments and little snide innuendoes) is one of fear: the liberals have had their day, and they're on the way out.

In addition to Fr. Tim's fisk, the eminent Fr. Z has also given Ms. Curti's work some analysis. Fr. Dwight Longenecker has added a few of his thoughts, while, closer to home, Fr. Ray Blake (another wonderful priest who wishes to make the Extraordinary Form of Mass available to his parishioners) has a few words of encouragement. Damian Thompson is of the opinion that Elena Curti's article is so ineptly written that Fr. Tim's fisk has turned it round on it head.

There are more posts around the Blogosphere: this attack on a good and holy priest has really stirred people up. The comments are really pouring in, and they are all supportive of what Fr. Tim is doing.

Some people may be regretting their actions already. I hope that, as a parish community, we can put this episode behind us, and move forward.

Impending Catastrophe...

Meandering merrily through the Blogosphere this morning (well, I am on half-term holiday), I was brought up short by a little snippet of information on Fiorella's blog.

As well as being a wife, mother, journalist and blogger, Fiorella is the author of two very entertaining novels. Fr. Tim reviewed her first book, The Cassandra Curse, and I blogged about Father William's Daughter some time ago (while Ttony gave it another glowing review.)

The third book is written. I am champing at the bit. But, for some strange reason, Fiorella can't seem to find a publisher... and, if she doesn't find one soon, she's going to stop writing fiction altogether.

This would, in my humble opinion, be a catastrophe.

In the meantime, you might want to buy her current books (if you haven't done so already - but be careful, if you want delivery overseas, to click on the correct link) and drop by her blog to leave a little word of encouragement...

Blackfen's "Little Spot Of Bother"...

I didn't get a chance to post on this earlier, as I was visiting my mother, and computer access was seriously limited... blogging from a mobile phone is ok for short posts, but not really suitable for anything more involved, especially when one's parents seem to live in a dodgy reception area.

Fr. Tim has been extremely charitable in his comments on the whole situation. He has done his utmost to listen to the opinions of the small group of parishioners who are vehemently opposed to the Extraordinary Form of Mass being provided in Blackfen, and has answered all their criticisms, questions and complaints in an excellent paper, Sacred and Great. He held two meetings in the parish to explain why he had introduced the Extraordinary Form after the Holy Father published Summorum Pontificum, and also to elaborate on how "active participation" (the expression so beloved by tabletistas who object to the EF) was to be understood, especially at the EF Mass, but also in the Ordinary Form - it doesn't mean everyone has to have something to "do."

One of the criticisms levelled at Fr. Tim was the lack of consultation over liturgical changes, and comments such as "Latin's fine, but does it have to be every week?" were aired. So, after explaining that the liturgy of the Church was not a matter for compromise ("consultation" implies that some mutual agreement can be reached) Fr. Tim started up a Google Group, to enable parishioners to discuss any concerns, ideas and suggestions about other aspects of parish life. Strangely, the disaffected group were unhappy with this proposal.

So, they went to speak to the Area Bishop. They also contacted the Archbishop. What they hoped to achieve by doing this is a mystery; the Bishop can hardly insist that a perfectly valid Mass should not be celebrated in a Catholic church, and I am sure that they did not want to demand Fr. Tim's removal as Parish Priest...

When it became apparent that the Extraordinary Form of Mass was not only continuing to be celebrated at Blackfen, but was becoming more popular as people overcame their initial misgivings about "not knowing any Latin," the group went to the press. To add insult to injury, they went to The Tablet, which, since 1968, has frequently dissented from some of the key teachings of the Church.

Obviously, although Elena Curti (the Deputy Editor of The Tablet) has visited the parish and sought the opinions of various people, she has not yet published her article. However, from the tone of her email (I received one asking for my opinion of the split which had developed) I can guess the sort of piece she was planning: I suspect Damian Thompson was spot on in his expectation of a "hatchet job." Fr. Zuhlsdorf has also had his say, warning Tabletistas everywhere of the possible backlash which might occur should such a piece actually be published.

Any talk of a "split" in the parish is absolute tosh. There is a small (but very vocal) group of parishioners which is extremely unhappy with the provision of the Extraordinary Form of Mass. There is another group which is extremely delighted by the provision of the Extraordinary Form of Mass. The vast majority of parishioners are, however, totally baffled by the whole thing. As far as they are concerned, it's just a different style of Mass, and if you don't like Latin, then you can go to another one, so what is all the fuss about?

The variety of worship-styles at Blackfen is pretty unique, from what I can gather by reading various comments. Just to emphasise, there is a Mass on Saturday evening, which is in English, Ordinary Form, versus populum, with hymns. There is the 9am Sunday Mass which is said in English, Ordinary Form, versus populum, with hymns, a children's choir, and a children's liturgy group. The 10:30am Mass is in the Extraordinary Form, a Missa Cantata. Finally, the Sunday evening Mass is said in English, Ordinary Form, but ad orientem and no hymns.

One criticism levelled at Fr. Tim was that celebrating Mass in the Extraordinary Form was divisive... this being aired in The Tablet is not going to help in the task of building peace and harmony in the parish.

Wow!

This 12 year-old prepared a speech for a competition, and she chose the subject of abortion.

Not only is she an amazing speaker, so articulate and assured, but she completely demolishes the arguments for abortion.

I am so full of admiration for this girl.

Twitch of the mantilla to the Catholic Cavemen.

Pleeeeeeease...

There may be some kudos in getting as many votes as years Jesus lived on Earth (33), but not when Fr. Z is getting 200 or more votes, and Fathers Finigan and Longenecker are battling it out at over 100 votes each...

I'm feeling very small, insignificant and unloved...

...so go and vote for me, or else I'll write more posts about how nobody loves me...

Book Fest...

I mentioned that I'd visited the bookstall during the Day With Mary yesterday. There were even more books than last year, and I spotted several titles I hadn't noticed before. One of the team told me that they do indeed bring a different selection each time.

The people on the bookstall remembered me from last year, and one of them was only too happy to take the time to make suggestions for this year's purchases...

First, I bought two books by Joan Carroll Cruz, Secular Saints and Miraculous Images of Our Lord. I'd really enjoyed other books of hers: Miraculous Images of Our Lady, which gives details of 100 famous portraits and statues which have been accompanied by miracles and supernatural phenomena; The Incorruptibles, a book about saints whose bodies were found to be incorrupt, and Eucharistic Miracles (I have definitely read it, but I can't find it, which leads me to suspect that I have lent it to someone... though there is always the possibility that I borrowed it from someone else and have since returned it... in which case I need to get my own copy!)

Next on my list of discoveries was The Divine Life of the Most Holy Virgin by the Venerable Mary of Agreda. The book is a section of another book, The Mystical City of God. I'd heard the name of Mary of Agreda, but am a bit hazy as to when, where and why. A quick glance at the book revealed that Mary of Agreda had visions about the life of Our Lady; I have come across references to Mary's early life in the writings of many of the saints, and these episodes must have been part of the Church's unwritten tradition (similar to the tradition that Veronica wiped the face of Jesus on his way to Calvary), and so I'm hoping to find out more.

I bought a new copy of St. Francis de Sales' Introduction to the Devout Life. The copy I have is getting a bit battered, and anyway, it's abridged, so I'd been meaning to get hold of a proper version... the TAN edition is complete and unabridged.

I also got The Priest is Not His Own by Archbishop Fulton Sheen. I think that it might give me an insight into the sacrificial nature of the priesthood which might help me to explain to other people exactly why women cannot ever be priests, and why this is not a matter for "equal opportunities" legislation... the argument against ditching the clerical celibacy will also be covered, I think. I have no problem with either of those concepts myself, but explaining it to other people can be a bit tricky...

The Age of Martyrs sort of jumped out at me. Written by Abbot Giuseppe Ricciotti, it covers the period from the Emperor Diocletian up until the Emperor Constantine. I know very little about the early martyrs, so look forward to finding out more.

My SD has told me to spend time in contemplating the Four Last Things (cheerful sort, my SD) and so, when I had my attention drawn to a little book by Fr. Martin von Cochem, O.S.F.C., with that very title, I realised that this book was a definite "must-have". It is pocket-sized, so very convenient for carrying around.

I was going to end it there, but my helpful guide then showed me one last book: Divine Intimacy: Meditations on the Interior Life for Every Day of the Liturgical Year by Fr. Gabriel of St. Mary Magdalen, O.C.D. My initial thought was that I've only just started using the Monastic Diurnal and the pre-1962 calendar, and having meditations following the Novus Ordo liturgical year would just be too confusing. Out of curiosity, I opened the book for a quick examination; I then spotted the phrase "Septuagesima" and realised that this was actually following the old calendar... and then I just couldn't resist it.

As you can see from the photo, I have a bit of space on the bookshelf... and the newly purchased books will fit very nicely. This is the first time I've bought books and have been able to put them straight onto shelves. It's slightly disconcerting: as if they might get swallowed up and lost forever in amongst all the other books.

I might need a few more visits to various websites in order to eliminate all the spaces...

Day With Mary 2009

Today was absolutely BRILLIANT. Awesome. Stunning. And then some.

I really enjoy the annual visit of the Day With Mary team to our parish. I have no idea how they manage to do this every week; after one day, I feel like I need to lie down for a month. It is, however, the sort of exhaustion which is satisfying: I feel that I have had a spiritual Spring Clean, just in time for Lent.

I got back a short while ago, and am already being bombarded with text messages, all demanding to know why there's nothing up on my blog yet. I bet they're not cyber-bullying Fr. Tim...

*sigh*

Ok, ok. I give in.

The day always starts with the Crowning of the statue of Our Lady of Fatima. Each year, I anticipate some disaster or other because climbing a stepladder while wearing a cope is no mean feat.

Then there is a procession with the statue around the block. The procession is small, and stays on the pavements, so it doesn't interfere with traffic... nevertheless, there are always a few puzzled expressions on the faces of passers-by.

Looking back at previous posts, I see that I've pretty much wimped out of doing the actual procession (the slow walking pace adopted is murderously hard going on both my knee and my ankle) for the past few years, and this morning was pretty much the same. Damp, cold weather is not good for my aching joints. I remained in the church and said the Joyful Mysteries of the Rosary... which is pretty much what those in the procession were doing anyway!

Mass was next on the agenda. Fr. Tim had been lent some rather superb vestments in honour of Our Lady (you can see the detail in the photo on the right) and the Sisters of the Immaculate sang the propers and Mass parts. Mass was very well attended, with around 230 people.

Fr. Tim preached on Our Lady and a rarely heard title of hers (I've forgotten it... something against heresies) The upshot of it was that by defending the right of Our Lady to be called Mother of God, the Church also preserved the correct understanding of the person of Christ.

Fr. Tim also mentioned that the Holy Father had been having a rough ride from the media over the past few weeks, and so, after Mass, we all prayed for Pope Benedict, and sang "God bless our Pope!" - belted out by 230 people, it was stirring stuff.

Lunchtime saw me make a beeline for the extremely well-stocked bookstall. More on that later. Suffice it to say that the bookstall crew remembered me, and when I finished, we were all very happy bunnies... I was an even happier bunny when I discovered that one of my friends had come armed with spare sausage sandwiches, and one of them had my name on it.

In the afternoon, a Blessed Sacrament procession followed the same route round the streets as the morning's Rosary procession. We then had Exposition, and a sermon on from Fr. Agnellus, one of the Franciscans of the Immaculate. His topic was holy prudence, not a subject often preached about. He related it to the passage where Our Lord advises his disciples to be "wise as serpents and innocent as doves," and Fr. Agnellus said that the wisdom referred to was not worldly wisdom, but prudence. Very thought-provoking.

In addition, we had the Luminous and Glorious Mysteries of the Rosary, meditations on the Stations of the Cross, another sermon from Fr. Tim (this time on Our Lady, Queen of the Family,)  Benediction, enrolment in the Brown Scapular and the Miraculous Medal, consecration of the parish to Our Lady, and the final farewell, with everyone waving white hankies during the chorus of the last hymn (which always makes me blub...)

If there is a Day With Mary visiting anywhere near you, I would seriously recommend that you make the effort to go along, even if only for a part of the day. It'll be well-worth the effort.

Anticipation...

Tomorrow sees the annual visit of the Day With Mary team to the parish of Blackfen. It will be a glorious occasion, starting off with the Crowning of the statue of Our Lady and a solemn procession around the local streets, then Mass, talks on Our Lady, the Rosary, Exposition, a Blessed Sacrament procession and more.

I particularly look forward to perusing the bookstall...

Especially as I have spaces on my nice, tidy bookshelves.

Wow... I Had A Good Idea!

I mentioned before that the Sisters of the Gospel of Life have an appeal going to help pay for their new car. They need a car. You can't deliver cots and furniture and such-like on a bicycle.

I pointed out that the lack of a PayPal account was probably a disadvantage... For example, I can't quite remember where my cheque book is at the moment, and so few places accept them these days that I'm sure I'm not alone.

Well, the Sisters thought I might be onto something, and they have gone and rectified the situation. So you can visit their blog and click on the button. Easy.

By the way, I suggest you do it before Fr. Tim sends "the boys" round to see you...

Something Fishy...

They do say that you learn something new every day. This is particularly true for anyone who teaches (or attempts to teach) teenagers...

I'm teaching A level Biology. Now, I've always concentrated on the mammalian side of things, with the odd foray into biochemistry and histology. However, I'm currently sharing a class with my Head of Department, and the way that the new scheme of work is arranged has meant that I have had to change my focus.

Instead of lungs and alveoli, I'm having to get to grips with fish gills. Literally.

I've seen pictures and diagrams of fish dissections. Yuck. I was reassured that I wouldn't need to bother with gutting anything. I would just have to deal with the head.

Mackerel are, or so I've been told, the fish of choice, being a decent size for a dissection. However, there was apparently a problem with the supply of mackerel. I have no idea what the glitch was. Instead, I was informed that one of the teachers could get salmon, if that was ok.

My only experiences of salmon had been of the smoked and thinly sliced on brown bread variety. Somehow, I doubted that was what the teacher concerned had in mind... so, this morning, I approached the equipment trolley with some trepidation.

I can now confirm that salmon are very suitable for gill dissections. There is just one little point to note...

They have teeth. Sharp teeth. Lots and lots of sharp teeth... very sharp.

...there is also an interesting little reflex which occurs if you press a certain point under the jaw.

Putting your finger inside a salmon's mouth in order to demonstrate the path of water in through the mouth and out via the gills is not a good idea.

Trust me on this one.

End Of A Legend...

Jackie Parkes, the irrepressible Catholic Mom of 10 and Blogger Extraordinaire, has ceased to blog, for family reasons, according to Philip of Ponte Sisto fame.

The Catholic Blogosphere will be a poorer place without her contributions.

Good Photo...

Fr. Tim's Million Party was snapped for posterity. Quite a lot of people didn't want to be in the photo, and there was almost a rugby scrum to get to the prized position of photographer... but I'd already snaffled the spot behind the camera! The early bird catches the worm, and all that jazz.

I have to say that the post title just above the photo over at the Hermeneutic of Continuity blog is rather suggestive... but let's aim for Westminster first... Heheheheheh.

The Sisters Need Your Help...

The Sisters of the Gospel of Life, who do such amazing work in helping women in crisis pregnancies have had a little crisis of their own, it seems.

Their trusty "tank," which was used to deliver prams, baths, cots and so on, literally blew up. Because of the urgency of deliveries and so forth, they needed to buy a replacement as soon as they could, and luckily, a suitable one came on the market quite quickly. However, they needed to borrow the money from a friend in order not to lose the opportunity, and now need to raise funds to repay the loan.

You can find more information on their website, but basically, they need any money you can spare.

The Sisters are at 106 Dixon Avenue, Glasgow, G42 8EL. I don't think they have a PayPal account, which is a shame... I shall suggest that they set one up.  Cheques should be made payable to: The Cardinal Winning Pro-Life Initiative.

UPDATE: They've taken the plunge and set up a PayPal account.  You can make a donation by clicking on the link in their sidebar.  So, go on... what are you waiting for??

Oh, and I forgot to say, anyone who hasn't any money, then get on your knees and offer a couple of rosaries...

They've Got Me Pegged...

Yet another spookily accurate summary of what makes me tick... To show you how picky I could (can) be, I can tell you that the header on this one made me want to put up a photo of a baby goat...

You Were an Achieving Kid

When you were a kid, people often remarked on how mature you seemed. You acted quite adult. You excelled at school, and you actually enjoyed it to a large extent. No one had to ask you to do your homework. As a kid, you were probably a bit picky. You liked structure, schedules, and organization. You had trouble being friends with regular kids. You probably were only friends with other serious children.

What Kind of Kid Were You?

Twitch of the mantilla to Karen.

Office Update...

No, Bill Gates hasn't been at it again... (well, maybe he has, but that's not what I'm on about!)

A short while back, I mentioned that I was considering switching from the Novus Ordo Divine Office to the old Breviary, partly because of the differences in calendars between the two, and I asked for advice, because Baronius seem to be no nearer publication of their new Latin-English version, and I don't have enough Latin to cope with the full Breviary without a translation.

Several people mentioned the Monastic Diurnal, produced by the St. Michael's Abbey Press. The only problem with it was the fact that it didn't include Matins. Now, I do enjoy the Office of Readings, (the Novus Ordo version of Matins) unless the second reading is by St. Augustine of Hippo or is an excerpt from Gaudium et Spes or Lumen Gentium, so I was a little reluctant to ditch this Hour. However, the ICEL psalms were beginning to grate on my nerves more than a little, and greater familiarity with the snippets of Scripture used in the Mass Propers (I've been typing the Rossini Propers out for our choir)  encouraged me to look into it further.

I'm not obliged, as a laywoman, to pray the Office, but it is part of the Rule of Life I adopted when I took my vows. So I feel under obligation - and I certainly notice the detrimental effects in my spiritual life on the occasions when I omit to pray the Office.

My SD told me that Matins was actually part of the Night Office, and he didn't seem to think that, in my case, the lack of that Hour would be a problem. I also reflected that the Hour of Prime would be added, and I'd be praying Terce, Sext and Nones instead of a single "Hour During the Day." I decided to go ahead and order the Diurnal; if the worst came to the worst, I figured I could sell it on Ebay, and go back to the Novus Ordo Office.

It arrived the other day. The book definitely feels better than the Novus Ordo one: it's much smaller and more flexible, the binding is of much better quality, and so is the paper. Although the paper is still thin, at least I cannot actually read what is printed on the other side of the page. The language (of the English translation, obviously) strikes a chord: I have prayed the Office for the last fifteen years, so the psalms and canticles are familiar, but the language in the Diurnal is so much richer and more nuanced.

Take this example from Compline: "the devil, as a roaring lion, goeth about seeking whom he may devour." The Novus Ordo has: "the devil is prowling round like a roaring lion, looking for someone to eat." There's not a lot in it, if you just look at the bald meaning of the words, but somehow "looking for someone to eat" is less punchy than "seeking whom he may devour." I get the distinct impression that the second lion is going to be allowed to devour several somebodies, while the first is merely hopeful of getting a nibble at one. Also, "roaring" lions don't prowl. Prowling implies stealth and silence. Definitely not roaring.

The only problem with the Diurnal is the lack of clear rubrics. Presumably, the majority of users have spent some time in a Benedictine monastery or convent, and have been shown what to do and say. I am having to flick back and forth to check what the versicles are when only a word or two is given, and I spent ages trying to work out why, at Lauds, I only had five antiphons, but I had six psalms and a canticle (yeah, yeah... I eventually twigged that three psalms were said together and so only have the one antiphon... but it wasn't in the rubrics!) Also, two of the psalms of Sunday Lauds are replaced by two others at certain times of the year... only the rubric telling you this is on the page after the first two psalms, so bad luck if you didn't happen to check ahead...

I can certainly see why the Novus Ordo Divine Office is, in comparison, sometimes referred to as the "Little Office of Vatican II."

In the meantime, if you'll excuse me, I have to go and say Compline...

Have Pity On A Poor Damsel In Distress...

Well, ok, not distress, exactly... but it isn't much fun to be beaten in the Best Religion Blog category by an atheist's blog...

I'm now on page 2.  While you're at it, help to give all our Catholic blogs a boost in the ratings!

Rather Appropriate...

Given my latest activities on the home front, I found this amusing...

How Did They Know I Am A Teacher?

Not a single question about my job, but the results seemed rather appropriate...

You Are a Red Pen

You have an eagle eye for detail, and this often means you end up finding mistakes in people's work. You may seem quick to criticize or correct, but you think accuracy and truth is important. You like to be involved in every project. You feel like you put the polishing touch on things. You would make a good editor, detective, or accountant. When facts matter, you're the person to call on.

What Office Supply Are You?

Twitch of the mantilla to the Ironic Catholic.