Customer Relations Department
Ye Olde True Love Gift Shoppe
Santa's Grotto, North Pole
Dear Sir,
We really must ask you to desist from making such unreasonable demands of our staff. Your latest order was fulfilled quite reasonably well, we thought...
Twelve drummers, drumming. They're not the easiest item to *ahem* drum up at this time of year, and so we sent the only drummers we had. It wasn't our fault that they were members of an Ulster Orange Brigade and your true love is a devout Catholic...
Nor is it our fault that the local Council's noise prevention unit slapped a hefty fine on you for infringing the noise pollution regulations. The licence needed for a public performance was also your responsibility: you should have checked it out before ordering twelve drummers.
I have instructed our Mail Order Department to ignore any further requests from you.
Yours faithfully,
Mary Christmas.
Thank you for a very amusing series on the twelve days.
ReplyDeleteHope you are now feeling better.