Kasia, author of The Clam Rampant, offered to tell me a new blonde joke which she posted in one of the previous com-boxes. I don't understand why she wouldn't want to keep it for her own blog (I'd have stolen it happily from there...) but since she "gave" it to me, I think I'll share it with the rest of you!
Bubbles and Barbie, two blonde sisters, had promised their uncle, (a seafaring gentleman all his life), to have him buried at sea. In due time, he passed away, and the two blondes kept their promise. They set off from Clearwater Beach with their uncle all stitched up in a burial bag and loaded on their rowing boat.
After a while, Bubbles said, "Do you think we're far enough, Barbie?" Barbie slipped over the side, but finding the water only knee deep said, "Nope, not yet, Bubbles." So they rowed a little further out...
Again Bubbles asked Barbie, "Do you think we're out far enough now?" Once again Barbie slipped over the side and almost immediately said, "No, this will never do. The water is only up to my chest." So they rowed and rowed and rowed, and, finally, Barbie slipped over the side and disappeared under the water. Quite a bit of time went by, and poor Bubbles was really getting worried, when suddenly, Barbie surfaced.
Gasping for breath she said,"OK, Bubbles, it's finally deep enough... hand me the shovel!"
Ha Ha. Cute.
ReplyDeleteIf they had been smart, they would have hitched a ride from one of the off-shore drilling boats.
I am a blonde, by the way. Can you tell? ;-)
I received this by email today:
ReplyDeleteA man who just died is delivered to a local mortuary wearing an expensive, expertly tailored black suit.
The female blonde mortician asks the deceased's wife how she would like the body dressed. She points out that the man does look good in the black suit he is already wearing.
The widow, however, says that she always thought her husband looked his best in blue, and that she wants him in a blue suit.
She gives the Blonde mortician a blank check and says, 'I don't care what it costs, but please have my husband in a blue suit for the viewing.'
The woman returns the next day for the wake. To her delight, she finds her husband dressed in a gorgeous blue suit with a subtle chalk stripe; the suit fits him perfectly .
She says to the mortician, 'Whatever this cost, I'm very satisfied. You did an excellent job and I' m very grateful.
How much did you spend?' To her astonishment, the blonde mortician presents her with the blank check.
'There's no charge,' she says.
'No, really, I must compensate you for the cost of that exquisite blue suit!' she says.
'Honestly, ma'am,' the blonde says, 'it cost nothing. You see, a deceased gentleman of about your husband's size was brought in shortly after you left yesterday, and he was wearing an attractive blue suit.
I asked his wife if she minded him going to his grave wearing a black suit instead, and she said it made no difference as long as he looked nice.'
'So I just switched the heads.'