A few years ago there was a book with the title "101 Uses for a Dead Cat"... it was, of course, only a joke, but the title has provided me with a germ of an idea. I am planning to start a series of blog posts along the lines of "101 Uses for The Suppository."
Unfortunately, other than lining my cat's litter tray, I can't really think of many other uses.
Any suggestions?
Firelighters.
ReplyDeleteSomething to stuff your shoes with when they're soaking.
Thing to hang from the nail on the wall in the eco-loo in some mad sandalista's home.
I suppose if you run out of cooking oil...
ReplyDeleteConsider papier mache: lots of baroque gilded sanctuary furniture for Blackfen.
ReplyDeleteIt could be used for paper mache models of the Basilica of St Peter's.
ReplyDeleteHow about distributing free copies so the homeless could rip out pages and stuff them down trouser legs and up vests to insulate themselves against the cold?
Or, dare I say it? Kindling for a few burnings at the stake...!!!???
I wouldn't want to spoil my dirty shoes or cat litter with The Tablet.
ReplyDeleteCappadocian Sister
I think Sylvester would be mortally offended if I did proffer him The Pill...
ReplyDelete;-)
Suggestions:
ReplyDelete● Read it assiduously from cover to cover - without visible signs of anger or distress - as a Lenten penance.
● Read passages in police interviews to break down hardened criminals.
● When you have the nastiest louts in detention, ask them to précis a particularly choice editorial.
● Substitute for Country Life and The Field in your dentist's waiting room - the experience in the chair itself will be mild by comparison.
rofl
ReplyDeleteRolled up, they are quite good for swatting flies
ReplyDelete