Mea Culpa, Mea Culpa...

Ok, I have been taken to task! Ttony of The Muniment Room had a post up enthusing about a new book he's just read: Fr. William's Daughter by Fiorella de Maria. He is recommending this book as a great present on the basis that he thinks she will one day be a best-selling author (I think he's right)...

I couldn't resist the opportunity to name-drop: Fiorella is a friend of mine. So Ttony, very rightly, demanded to know why I hadn't shouted her praises from the rooftops, and alerted everyone to her books!!

Fiorella has written two books now, the first one being The Cassandra Curse. Fr. Tim reviewed it very favourably a while back. I thought it was a very good story, but didn't like the way the story jumped backwards and forwards between different time periods... I prefer things to progress in a more linear fashion! That wasn't the reason I didn't blog about it... events (like getting a new job) sort of overtook me, and I forgot! Mea culpa...

Anyway, Fiorella assures me that her second novel is a lot less "jumpy." And Ttony's review has me champing at the bit... I can't wait for my copy to arrive. You can order both books from her website.

New Blog...

Just spotted a new blog, courtesy of Fr. Tim, who found it via Fr. Nicholas. It's by a young teacher who is also a husband and father. Looking at his profile, I wonder if I know him...

...anyway, do go and check out Gravissimum Educationis and leave a friendly comment.

All Souls' Day

Another completely brilliant Feast in the Calendar.

Purgatory is God's love writ large, so even a duffer like me can see it!! You have to be completely perfect to get to heaven... but don't worry if you're not completely perfect, because you get an extension on the original "deadline" (sorry, I couldn't resist that pun!!)

Fr. Tim has put up a useful reminder about indulgences and how to get them. Go on, clock up a handful, and spring some souls! Meanwhile, Fr. Ray has described how he celebrated All Souls.

I was really lucky - we had Mass in the Extraordinary Form at 7am so I was able to start the day in the best possible way, and there was an extra Mass in the evening (in addition to the normal parish Mass) so I really did get to "celebrate" the Feast. I particularly like to remember my father who died twenty-five years ago. I hope he's "out" by now, but there's no guarantee, so the prayers continue! I've also developed an attachment to the forgotten souls, those who have no-one left to pray for them, or whose relatives don't believe in "that sort of thing" and don't see the necessity of prayer for the dead. I suspect that my relatives might fall into this category, and therefore have a vested interest in encouraging others to pray for the forgotten souls...

I once read that St. Bernadette of Lourdes was very concerned that people would acclaim her as a saint once she was dead, and would therefore forget to pray for the repose of her soul, leaving her to "cook" in Purgatory. If, after Our Lady had promised her happiness in the next world, Bernadette was concerned that she would spend time in Purgatory, I suspect that I have a pretty lengthy stint ahead of me...

Feast Of All Saints.

Another of my favourite Feast Days...

I really ought to have gotten myself sorted out and pre-prepared this post so that I could click "publish" before leaving for work in the morning (currently some time between 6:45 and 7:15am, so it's far too early to write anything!) As it is, I have only just returned home, and there's only about an hour of the day left!!

Anyway, I love the Feast of All Saints. I have so many favourite saints, and not all of them have feast days in the calendar (yes, Novus Ordo, but that's because I pray the Office... and it has to be the Novus Ordo because I don't know any Latin. So there.) So today I get to celebrate with all of them...

...And all their friends as well!

Very Amusing For Gilbert & Sullivan Fans...

I am very tired today... however, a quick glance at the blogosphere revealed a very amusing parody over at the Curt Jester's place...


"I am the very model of a RomanCatholicWomanpriest™
I have no valid sacramental ordination in the least
I celebrate Diversity supremely superficially
Conjoining L-G-B-T couples controversially

"I’m very well acquainted, too, with Eco-Cycle-Mania
I generate more laughter than O-BER-on and Titania
I feel a Call To Action is required by the Spirit, now
As far as Modern Norms of Civil DisobediENCE Allow

"As far as Modern Norms of Civil DisobediENCE Allow
As far as Modern Norms of Civil DisobediENCE Allow
As far as Modern Norms of Civil DisobediENCE allow-alLOW-ALLOW-ALLOW-ALlow-allow"

You can read the rest (and it really is worth it!) HERE.

Then, no doubt to ensure my rapid demise through not being able to draw breath (I'm laughing too much), I saw this "Diet Prayer" over at Karen's place...

"Lord, My soul is ripped with riot
incited by my wicked diet.
'We Are What We Eat,' said a wise old man!
and, Lord, if that's true, I'm a garbage can.

"I want to rise on Judgment Day, that's plain!
but at my present weight, I'll need a crane.
So grant me strength, that I may not fall
into the clutches of cholesterol."

The fun continues HERE.

Faith Winter Conference

Just a quick reminder to anyone interested: the Faith Winter Conference is being held at Stonyhurst, Lancashire, from Wednesday 2nd to Friday 4th January 2008. The theme this year is "Hearing God's Call."

More details about the cost and the activities, an online booking form, and contact details for the organiser, Ann McCallion, can all be found HERE or via the Faith Movement website.

Places are limited, so I would advise early booking...

A Little Light Relief...

The Catholic church was filled to overflowing one Sunday morning. The priest was ready to start the Mass when two men, dressed in long black coats and black hats entered through the main doors at the back of the church.

One of the two men walked to the middle of the church while the other stayed at the back. They both then reached under their coats and withdrew automatic weapons.

The one in the middle announced, "Everyone willing to take a bullet for Jesus stay in your seats!"

Naturally, the pews emptied, followed by the choir.

After a few moments, there were about twenty people left sitting in the church. The priest was holding steady in the pulpit.

The men put their weapons away and said, gently, to the priest, "All right, Father, the hypocrites are gone now. You may begin the service."

God Works In Mysterious Ways...

...His wonders to perform!

First day back at school after the much-needed half-term holiday. Needless to say, I was terrified I'd oversleep... which meant that I slept for about an hour and a half in total.

I got to school in plenty of time, but I had to photocopy two sets of SATs exam papers for my Year 9 classes' end-of-topic tests. The main photocopier took one "look" at the workload, and chewed up the papers in disgust. The reprographics technicians looked at the inside of the main photocopier, and promptly slapped a large "Out of Order" sign on it. I had to transfer to the second photocopier. This made me very popular with several of my colleagues who also needed to use the photocopier (not!) Then, my photocopy card ran out of credit...

I begged and pleaded... it wasn't pretty, but one of the technicians took pity on me and re-charged it.

Then I discovered that I was on the list to cover an absent colleague later on in the day...

I had no idea where the room was, so locating it took a little time. I finally found it, but there were no students in evidence... well, not inside the classroom. We have split lunch breaks, and a whole load of students were out in the sunshine enjoying themselves... I uncharitably surmised that some of them might have been taking advantage of the fact that a cover teacher wouldn't know who was supposed to be present at the lesson...

...a few minutes later I was berating myself for such uncharitable thoughts... a troupe of youngsters appeared carrying various folders, and assured me that they had been with another member of staff. I was a little sceptical, but the member of staff duly materialised. She explained that she'd decided to combine the two small music classes... and miracle of miracles, was happy to supervise both, so I was able to scoot off to do some marking!

Nice when that happens!

Abortion 40 Years On...

This is a very difficult topic - not the morality of it, there's no doubt that abortion is killing an unborn child, but how best to combat it.

I posted a link to an online petition which called for the UK government to reduce the time limit for abortions, and I signed the petition myself, though I had serious reservations in doing so. As I thought, it provoked quite a bit of comment.

Fr John Boyle (South Ashford Priest) put up a very good post on the reason he wouldn't sign the petition. His view, one I sympathise with very much, is directly opposed to that of Cardinal Murphy-O'Connor. The more I think about it, the more I agree with Fr. Boyle, and regret signing the petition - my reservations won't be noted there!

Now Damian Thompson has weighed in with his views. I often enjoy reading his blog, but I do not always agree with his views. In this case, I think he is wrong. He describes two polarities in the pro-life debate: SPUC on one side (the "hard-liners") and LIFE on the other (he considers these to be the "realists.")

I think that suggesting that there is a sort of "civil war" between the two groups is far from helpful.

Damian Thompson points out that SPUC are happy that the government have no plans to change the abortion laws, while LIFE is pushing for a reduction in the upper time limit.

I have friends working in both Pro-Life Organisations. However, when it comes to a question of the UK parliament and the attitude of government, I would follow SPUC's advice. They have far more experience with the legal and legislative side of things.

Damian Thompson has rather simplified the reasons behind SPUC's opposition to amending the Abortion Act. The numbers in the House of Commons suggest very strongly that any attempt to change the Act (by reducing the time limit) would be bound to fail.

I am also worried by the murmurings I've heard on Radio 4 (the Beeb at it again) which suggest that there are moves afoot to remove the requirement for two doctors' signatures. This is a nominal requirement (I've never heard of an abortion being refused because someone hadn't been able to get two signatures) but it is the law, and we should fight to retain that safeguard.

As for the pragmatic approach so applauded by Mr Thompson, I would just like to point out that it was tried with the Mental Capacity Act, and went down like a lead balloon, with the government assuring Church leaders of all sorts of protective measures, which in the end failed to materialise. SPUC opposed all compromise, but the Hierarchy didn't listen. And now we have death by starvation and dehydration enshrined in law...

The Cardinal would do well to remember the old adage: "Once bitten, twice shy."

Hey... That Time Of Year Again...!

I feel sure that the years are going past more quickly. Someone ought to do a study of it... it's probably due to global warming or the hole in the ozone layer. They're generally blamed for everything else...

Chatting to a friend on the phone yesterday evening, I realised that there are only six weeks before I renew my vows. This year, because of the way things have panned out, I am having the celebration on Saturday 8th December, 2007. The Feast of the Immaculate Conception has got to be a great day to renew a dedication of my life to God and his Church!

It's been five years since I first made my vows. I can honestly say it was the best decision of my life (short of returning to the Church... though that wasn't a decision as such, more bowing to the inevitable!)

I'm not consecrated, although my manner of life is very similar. You can read more about the vows I've taken HERE, and one of the readings I had last year on the vow of chastity, by St. Francis de Sales, is posted HERE. For more information, try typing "vows" into the search box at the top of the blog, and you can see what comes up.

Anyway, the ceremony is at 12:30pm at Our Lady of the Rosary, Blackfen, with lunch in the Hall afterwards. If any fellow bloggers are around, it would be great to see you (though a mention in the combox would be helpful for catering purposes!)

Dominicans Vs. Jesuits...

I read a scathing comment about feminists by a Dominican Cardinal over on Fr Z's blog. I liked it. It reminded me of an old joke about the relative success of the Dominican and Jesuit orders, especially as I seem to recall several references to Jesuits and their feminist leanings...

Anyway, the joke goes: which Order is most successful, the Jesuits or the Dominicans?
Answer: the Dominicans. The Dominican Order was started to combat the Albigensian (Cathar) heresy, the Jesuits to combat the Protestant heresy. When was the last time you met an Albigensian?

A Game of Cat and Mouse?

I saw this over at Catholic Mom of 10, and howled with laughter...

New Blog

The wonderful Sisters of the Gospel of Life have a new, more work-related blog. It's called the Cardinal Winning Pro-Life Initiative, and it is likely, as befits the name, to focus on the pro-life work which the Sisters do... as well as other pro-life matters. It will stand alongside the Sisters' own blog.

Pay them a visit (to both sites) and give them some encouragement.

Last Blonde Joke This Week...

A blonde was getting pretty desperate for money. She decided to go to the nicer, richer neighbourhoods around town and look for odd jobs as a handy woman. The first house she came to, a man answered the door and told her,"Yeah, I have a job for you. How would you like to paint the porch?"

"Sure that sounds great!" said the blonde.

"Well, how much do you want me to pay you?" asked the man.

"Is fifty bucks all right?" the blonde asked.

"Yeah, great. You'll find the paint and ladders you'll need in the garage."

The man went back into his house to his wife who had been listening.

"Fifty bucks!? Does she know the porch goes all the way around the house?" asked the wife.

"Well, she must, she was standing right on it!" her husband replied.

About 45 minutes later, the blonde knocked on the door. "I'm all finished," she told the surprised homeowner. The man was amazed.

"You painted the whole porch?"

"Yeah," she replied, "I even had some paint left, so I put on two coats!"

The man reached into his wallet to pay her.

"Oh, and by the way," said the blonde, "That's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."

Saints' Days...

I get a little confused: I know that the feasts of the Beatified Martyrs of England and Wales (4th May) and the Forty Martyrs (the Canonised ones, 25th October) have been lumped together as the Martyrs of England & Wales, but I always forget on which day it is now celebrated.

Apparently, it should be the May date. Personally, I had no problem with a general separation of the canonised and the beatified martyrs (I believe that a miracle is needed before a Blessed can be elevated to a fully canonised saint), and I am unsure why today's celebration had to be scrapped - I mean, it's not as if it has had to be replaced by another saint's day...

However, as today was a feria, the parish Mass this morning was a votive one for the Forty Martyrs. Over at Owl of the Remove, the picture of the Forty Martyrs, painted for their Canonisation, was put up in their honour. It is one of my favourite pictures, and St. Anne Line, one of my patron saints, is shown... she's standing at the front left of the picture with keys hanging from her belt (she was housekeeper for Fr Gerard and kept a safehouse in London.)

Grrrr...

I arranged two appointments for today.

I've had a leaky overflow pipe for a couple of weeks, according to my neighbours, and the landlord informed me that he had a plumbing contract with British Gas. (British Gas?? For plumbing?? That was a new one on me!) I arranged the appointment for my half term week. The annual gas boiler check was also due, and to make life easier for myself, I booked it for the same day.

Now, unfortunately, although several supermarkets and retail outlets can arrange a specific delivery slot at half-hour intervals, and my cable TV company were able to book an appointment within a two-hour slot, British Gas do not seem to be able to do the same. It is a case of "morning" (any time from 7am to 1pm) or "afternoon" (the start time of which depended on who was speaking at the time, but it varied between 12pm and 2pm and finished at 6pm.) I picked the afternoon slot both times, as a morning one would prevent me from getting to Mass.

So I hot-footed it back from Mass this morning, and got on with a few household chores I'd been saving especially for half term...

At 11:30am, well before the official "slot," the phone rang. I was in the bathroom (Sod's Law in operation) so couldn't answer. When I phoned back, the gas heating engineer informed me that, since there had been no answer when he'd phoned, he'd gone on to his next job... he promised to return in "about an hour."

The plumber arrived half an hour later: there was just a washer which needed to be replaced, which was fine. I was delighted by this turn of events: it looked as though everything would be sorted pretty early...

...a case of crossing one's chickens before one's bridges are hatched...

Three hours later, I tried the heating engineer's mobile. No answer, so I left a polite voicemail message asking for an estimated time of arrival. An hour after that, I tried again... he answered (I heard a connection) and then he hung up. An hour after that, rapidly losing patience, I rang headquarters. The chap I spoke to was very apologetic.

Apparently, the engineer told the headquarters chap that my address didn't exist. He also said that there was no contact number... given that I was on the phone to headquarters at the time, and the address came up on their records (and I'd reported that the engineer had phoned me in the morning), I wonder what the chap said to the engineer. I was on hold, so I can only guess...

Another engineer is being sent round before 6pm.

UPDATE: He didn't turn up... Grrrrr!

It's All That Pope's Fault...!

I do get soooooo tired of all that "HIV/AIDS is increasing because the Catholic Church won't allow condoms" malarkey.

It is, after all, obvious to anyone with half a brain cell, that people who openly flout Church teaching on sex and marriage are going to be so very concerned about the Church's ban on condom use. Not.

Someone will, no doubt, trot out the excuse that it's the innocent wives, who get infected by their errant husbands, who need condoms. I doubt very much that the innocent wives get offered the option of condom use anyway, and if hubby is so careless of his wife's health that he's sleeping around, then he's hardly going to worry about a little thing like infecting her with a killer disease...

...because, knowing that condoms are not a guaranteed protection against HIV/AIDS, to sleep with her at all is to play Russian Roulette with her life.

Anyhow, the Curt Jester has a brilliant commentary on the statistical evidence that abstinence works and condoms don't, while Ma Beck has a very, very amusing rant along the lines of obedience to Church teaching. Check them out.

Online Petition

I mentioned a programme on abortion which was to be shown on Channel 4: Dispatches. I didn't get to see it as I was totally shattered, and I don't have a video recorder. Someone put a link to part of the programme in the combox, and I'm embedding it here... It isn't for the squeamish!



Anyway, now there's a petition to Gordon Brown asking for the time-limit on abortion to be brought down from 24 weeks to 16 weeks, in line with other European countries. I've signed, but I'm not entirely convinced that this is the best way to go... my fear is that, in order to gain agreement on the lower limit, political campaigners will agree to lifting the current requirement for a second doctor's signature, effectively ensuring abortion "on demand." I know it is, to all intents and purposes, effectively guaranteed anyway, but I feel it is important that the law is there. Maybe I'm wrong on this one. Comments gratefully received...

The petition can be found HERE.

Just A Blonde Having Fun...

A blonde and a lawyer are seated next to each other on a flight from Heathrow to New York. The lawyer asks if she would like to play a fun game? The blonde, tired, just wants to take a nap. Politely she declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun.

He explains, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5.00, and vice versa."

Again, she declines and tries to get some sleep. The lawyer, very persistent, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer you pay me $5.00, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500.00." This catches the blonde's attention and, figuring there will be no end to this torment unless she plays, agrees to the game.

The lawyer asks the first question. "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?" The blonde doesn't say a word, reaches into her purse, pulls out a $5.00 bill and hands it to the lawyer.

"Okay," says the lawyer," your turn." She asks the lawyer, "What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs?" The lawyer, puzzled, takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references. No answer. He taps into the air phone with his modem and searches the Internet and the Library of Congress. No answer. Frustrated, he sends e-mails to all his friends and coworkers, to no avail. After an hour, he wakes the blonde and hands her $500.00.

The blonde says, "Thank you," and turns back to get some more sleep.

The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, wakes the blonde and asks, "Well, what's the answer?" Without a word, the blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5.00, and goes back to sleep.

Big Brother Has Big Connexions...

Being a teacher, I had heard about "Connexions" a while back with reference to Careers advice in secondary schools. I have little time for "careers advice" as it generally bears little relation, in my opinion, to the abilities and aptitudes of the students I have come across. The number of students who seemed to think they could become doctors when they would, in reality, be lucky to scrape 5 GCSEs, always left me speechless, for example. And I never heard any of the brighter pupils being encouraged to think of Oxbridge applications.

Then, a friend with teenage children told me some of the stuff that Connexions wanted to know: the child's mobile phone number being the most worrying. They also seemed to be gearing up to offer "healthcare" advice, which, as we all know, is a convenient euphemism for contraceptive advice, abortion services and STD checks. Then I changed jobs, and went to a Sixth Form College: the Connexions advisor came in, and seemed very keen to get the teenagers to visit the Connextions centre in the High Street, with emphasis on the fact that it was all confidential. Students were also told that, if they preferred, any meetings could be arranged in a local coffee shop or fast food outlet of their choice.

I doubt that parents were being told of the arrangements being made to meet with their children...

Now I read that the WhiteStone Name Seeker has run into the Connexions posse: only this time they have taken the liberty of "following up" the progress of her 16-year-old son by calling at his home and demanding information. Apparently the government "requires" it.

Orwell didn't know how right he was...