Out of the Mouths of Babes....

I heard an absolute classic at the SPUC lunch in our parish today. Trust me, it actually happened - but it deserves to go down in history as one of those apocryphal tales that end up doing the rounds via email.

The young daughter of one of my friends approached our table with a book of raffle tickets. She'd already snaffled me, so she decided to try and sell a few more to her father.

"Daddy, do you want to buy a raffle ticket?"
"No thanks, I'm ok."
"Oh, okay... Can I buy a raffle ticket?"
"Well, yes, if you want to."
"Oh good... Daddy, can I have some money please?"

It was priceless!

Rosary Crusade of Reparation

I was in two minds as to whether I'd make the effort to go along to this... I've been feeling under the weather this past week, and I knew that my ankle wasn't going to be able to hold up for the actual walk (not unless I wanted to be off work for a week!!) And another factor to consider was that we had our SPUC parish lunch today as well.

I decided to compromise... I went to the lunch first, but left before the talk started (I shared a table with the speaker - a brother from the Franciscan Friars of the Renewal: these chaps are "awesome" - and I was therefore able to explain my early departure!) and then I drove down to the Brompton Oratory in Knightsbridge, London. I'd originally intended to go by tube from North Greenwich, but heard that there were engineering works... I didn't actually need much of an excuse to drive - I find it very relaxing.


The journey took an hour and a quarter (most of the last 20 minutes was searching for an available parking space, so going round and round some side roads) and then I went in to the Oratory. Believe it or not, it's the first time I've actually been inside the church. I've been to a few events held in the rooms next door: just never made it to the church.

My first reaction was "WOW"!! Let's just say that there is little room for doubt that this place is a Catholic church... if it wasn't covered in marble, it was painted with cherubs or religious scenes. Michelangelo eat your heart out. And statues everywhere.

The Oratory is deceptively big: it doesn't take up much room on the Brompton Road, but inside it just seems to go on and on. Wonderful place.

I arrived well before 3pm and after having greeted an old friend, Lizzie and promised to catch up with her at the end (she's been studying with the Community of St John somewhere in France for the past few years) I settled down to pray a rosary and to await the arrival of the procession.

We knew that the procession had arrived because of the flashing blue lights of the police motorcycles which had accompanied the procession from Westminster Cathedral (in Victoria - yes, London is a confusing place!) and the cheer which went up to thank the police escort. Then hundreds of people started pouring in to the church. In a most un-Catholic manner loads of people made their way to the front. After a minute or two the reason became obvious: the church was full. Many people were standing, some sat on the bases of the marble pillars, and the side chapels all had their seats fully occupied. I'm not good at numbers, but there must have been close on two thousand people present.

Then the statue of Our Lady of Fatima was brought in by the Catholic Police Guild - this had led the procession through the London streets. We sang Marian hymns with gusto, and recited prayers, and there was a sermon given by Fr Tim from the Hermeneutic of Continuity. Hopefully he will post the full text, because it was a real corker.

I think one of the most moving parts of the experience was when the statue of Our Lady was carried to the chapel of St Mary Magdalene: we sang "The thirteenth of May at the Cova d'Iria" and apparently there is a tradition in Fatima of waving goodbye to the statue with a white hankie. A few people were prepared, but the rest of us waved our white prayer sheets during the "Ave Maria" chorus. Hundreds and hundreds of white prayer sheets all being waved as the statue was carried away. Another of those "wow!" moments to treasure.

Outside I couldn't find Lizzie, but bumped into Dan Cooper (a stalwart of the Faith Movement from when it started up in the John Fisher School, Purley), and then Jamie Bogle (husband of Joanna who has such a lovely blog - Auntie Joanna Writes) and finally bumped into Joanna herself and her mother Ursula.

It was especially heartening to see the number of mantillas in evidence! And finally, it was wonderful to see so many young people and young families give up their Saturday to go on a procession through the streets of London in reparation for sin and blasphemy. I'm with the Holy Father on this one: the Church is alive, the Church is young...!

Another Blog Discovered

I may find myself with a blogroll as long as my arm, but I'm determined to expand my blogging horizons in a vain attempt to get to post some news while it still is news.

...I have also decided that I'm not going to tell Fr Tim about any more interesting little snippets over a pint in the Parish Club because he is shameless about going straight up to his computer to put the posts on, and I have to drive home first. Hmmn. I wonder if he'll go for a Parish Internet Cafe Club....

But anyway, I found Diane's blog over at Te Deum Laudamus (a pretty neat name for a blog!)

Being Trad in the Modern World

I was interested to come across the following advice for how to be a traditional Catholic in a Novus Ordo world. As I said in my last post, I'm not actually anti-Novus Ordo myself, but quite a lot of what I read in this article struck home: things like observing the Friday abstinence rule (which although no longer compulsory, hasn't been outlawed), observing an extended fast before Communion, or (my favourite, natch!) women wearing veils in church...

...plenty of food for thought, especially with the season of Advent fast approaching.

Mantilla-tip to Ma Beck of the WardWideWeb for this one.

Classical Rite Latin Mass

An interesting little snippet came my way via the blogosphere: a post circulating the latest rumours about the Classical Rite Mass on Credo.

I shall nail my own colours to the mast here. I like the New Rite Mass (yes, I fully expect to be blasted to smithereens on the spot for daring to utter such views) but in true "sitting-on-the-fence" mode I will add that I only like it when it is celebrated with reverence and decorum, and according to the rubrics.

I do not like the Novus Ordo Mass when the priest decides to play fast and loose with the words of the Mass, or tries to make me feel included by becoming politically correct ("sisters and brothers" is clumsy and downright patronising), or, under the guise of not being too caught up in details, cuts corners in the choice of sacred vessels, vestments and altar linens, etc. etc.

Under these circumstances, I am generally to be found gritting my teeth, scowling, and remaining in my seat only because, once the words of consecration are uttered, my Lord and God is present on the altar. And if I am in a state of grace then no crummy liturgical abuser is going to get in the way of me receiving Holy Communion (I un-grit my teeth at that point!)

I had better also make clear that my own Parish Priest does not muck about with the liturgy. It would be interesting to do a time-and-motion study to gauge whether my suspicions about his gradual introduction of eastward-facing Mass are true (I think he's on about a 5mm turn each week) but other than that he's fine...

;-)

Lately (the past couple of years) I have been exposed occasionally to the Classical Rite Latin Mass. The difference literally took my breath away: I found myself afraid to breathe at the Consecration and at the elevation of the Host in case I disturbed the solemnity of the moments.

I don't speak (or read) Latin, although I occasionally follow the words of the Mass in a Missal with the English translation next to the Latin. But usually I just sit quietly and pray (sometimes the Rosary, sometimes from a prayer book and sometimes just silently in my own words). I can tell pretty easily what part of the Mass has been reached. I never feel as if I'm being excluded, or am not praying. And because of the silence and the ageless symbolism of the gestures I feel the presence of the angels and saints, and I feel privileged to be there, united with the whole Church throughout time...

I now understand my father's horror when, coming back to the Church after a long absence, he returned home one Sunday declaring that it had all turned "Protestant". I thought he was over-reacting to the use of the vernacular, never imagining in my wildest nightmares that the glories of the liturgy which had been celebrated, fought for and died for over the centuries could possibly just be discarded on a whim.

I'm not calling for the Novus Ordo Mass to be abolished (though it needs some serious tightening up to avoid the abuses which have crept in) but there has to be room for the Classical Rite. After all, we are the Catholic Church.

How Nerdy Are You?

I had a few spare minutes (a rare occurrance) and, mindful that I am under strict orders to post at least once a day, I thought I'd have a go at this little test.

I always suspected that I was slightly nerdy (very nerdy for a woman) because of my early interest in computers (I used to devise quizes in BASIC and teach First Years computer programming when I was a Sixth Form student... and I remember the giant leap forward when Sinclair Spectrums first came out!!)

Well, here is definitive proof: I suspect my score would have been higher if there had been a question about what sex I was...



Mantilla-tip to Fr Tim for this one!

Best of St Blog's UK

Oooh, goody! I've been challenged by 1dayin7 from Blogging the Catholic Church in England and Wales to complete a meme.

He's starting up a new one: the best of St Blog's UK. I have to identify one of my favourite blog posts...

1. From my own blog. Not easy, when I'm such a witty and entertaining blogee (not!)

It's no good: I am just going to have to pick three. I quite enjoyed my first proper post (not counting the "welcome to my blog" post) which was a rant about inclusive language. This was closely linked to another rant on a favourite topic: heretical hymns. And my final choice will have to be my post on wearing the mantilla (so far this post has had the most comments.) Yes, I know I cheated. Be thankful I limited myself to just three...

2. From another UK Catholic Blogger.

Easy: it has to be Fr Tim over at the Hermeneutic of Continuity, but my favourite post is trickier - they're all so good (and no, he hasn't paid me to say that!) Ok, I'll plump for his post on manual work at Parkminster. It was a fascinating insight into the life of a Carthusian monk, and the shots of Fr Tim wielding an axe made me think twice about picking any arguments with him over which hymns I think we should have at Benediction...

3. My favourite UK Catholic Website.

This just has to be the one from the Faith Movement, a group I've been involved with for many years. They have all of their publications available for free download which is simply fantastic. All good, sound stuff, including Faith Magazine.


Right, now I tag Fr Tim, Fr John, Paulinus and Fr Nicholas to complete this meme...

Feeling Neglected

Ok, as I've spent some considerable time reading lots of my favourite blogs in order to catch up, I have decided that I am now going to start sulking...

...I haven't been tagged by anyone for a meme ! Definitely not fair...

:-)

Dressing with Dignity

One of my friends gave me a copy of this book by Colleen Hammond a couple of weeks back: my heart sank when I got it, as right now I don't really need any distractions. Reading material which is nothing to do with either work or my Divinity course right now gets classed as a distraction. So I stuck it in my bag and decided that I'd get round to reading it, out of politeness, but not quite yet.

As luck would have it, I found myself with rather a long wait in Outpatients (I'm finally having physiotherapy on my reluctant-to-heal ankle) and as I'd omitted to empty my handbag for a while, the book was still there. So I started to read...

I showed the book to my Parish Priest - he borrowed it (on the basis that he reads much faster than I do) and he said that he was going to do a post on it. Seeing my one chance at a decent post subject slipping from my grasp, I begged him not to post on it until I had done mine (and shamelessly distracted him with the loan of another book which was more up his street post-wise anyway!) And so, here goes...

Colleen Hammond writes very well - she is a former beauty queen and model who is keen to share her concerns about the way women are forced to dress by the fashion industry, and to encourage modesty in dress. Importantly, she points out that "modest" does not mean "frumpy" and she also talks about femininity and grace, which equally have nothing to do with frills and flounces!

When I started to read the book, I thought that there was little in it for me personally, though I was interested in her views on the driving forces behind the revolution in women's fashions. I thought that, over the years, my choice of clothing had become more modest, especially since my return to the Church.

However, some of what Colleen had written really touched a nerve: I used never to go out without wearing makeup, but in the past few years I had skimped a little on this, with the excuse that I was being vain in making such a fuss, but in fact I was getting too lazy to put the makeup on. Reading Colleen's book made me realise that putting on my makeup (a small amount, nothing excessive) was a sign of respect for myself and respect for other people - neglecting my appearance is not a sign of modesty. And I know that I feel (and act) differently when I have "put my face on."

Colleen's comments about dressing smartly also struck home. Dressing for comfort is fine inside the house, but outside needs a little more attention. And what we wear to Mass is also important: sure, the externals shouldn't concern us too much, but what I wear shouldn't be a distraction to either myself or to others... and dressing in a sloppy, careless manner can draw attention to yourself just as much as being overdressed.

Hmmn. I feel a shopping trip to Bluewater might be in order...

Time to Draw Breath

Well, here I am again, at last. I realised that I've been so busy lately that not only have I not been keeping my own blog up-to-date, but I haven't even been checking out any of my favourites...

The new job is partly to blame - it doesn't matter how well you know your stuff, a new job always takes up more time and effort as you get to grips with the way things are done (invariably it is different from any other place you've ever worked in!) So by the time I have finished lesson planning and preparation, marking, chasing up absences, attending meetings and so on, I haven't got much time for anything else... And then, I actually have to add teaching to that lot!

This week has been particularly fraught: it started badly as I was away for a Residential Weekend at the Maryvale Institute, Birmingham. In my spare time I'm studying for a BA in Divinity, and the Residentials are part of the course requirement. It's probably not a good idea to start my studies again along with the new job, but I've started and stopped a few times now, as each year something seems to crop up. Last year it was breaking my ankle at the end of the summer holiday and then having a major car crash just before Christmas. So, working on the basis that something or other will always happen, I decided to take the bull by the horns and just get on with it...

The week then took a downward turn with the arrival of Section 48 Inspectors. This is the Catholic Church's version of OFSTED inspections. A bit like the Inquisition, only less friendly. Actually they weren't too bad. One of the Inspectors assured me that you have to do something really awful to fail. I had one lesson observed, and luckily for me my students didn't clam up and just sit there (this nightmare scenario did happen in one inspection I went through a while back: the class were pretty silent all the way through, instead of being their normal, boisterous selves. When challenged the next day they protested that they wanted to be "good" for me in front of the inspector!) Anyway, we passed. So now I can breathe again...

However, I notice that readership of my blog is right down: I am under strict orders to get my act together and post at least once a day - and when you get an instruction like that from a successful blogger like Fr Tim (of the Hermeneutic of Continuity), well, you just can't argue with that!

Materialism

Teaching is a very rewarding occupation. The students I get to interact with each day are intelligent and witty (well, usually) and it's a rare day when something they say doesn't make me smile.

But it is a real puzzle to find out just how many of them don't believe in heaven. Quite a few are into the concept of reincarnation, but there's no sense of a final destination... and of course, many are convinced materialists, absolutely sure that when we die that's the end of the matter (literally!)

It will be interesting to see how their ideas develop over the year...

Anniversary

As I mentioned in my last post, I've been rather too busy to do much in the way of blogging lately. I have even neglected reading other people's blogs, which means it's serious neglect - especially for an email and blog addict like myself!

So a retrospective post... I was delighted to have to update my profile slightly: last Saturday was the anniversary of my return to the Church, and I am absolutely astonished when I consider that it has been fourteen years. It feels like it happened yesterday.

I don't remember the date, but I noted that it was the Saturday evening Mass on the 24th Sunday in Ordinary Time, Year C. Having gone to Confession and been reconciled with God, I was so moved that I spent most of the Mass in (thankfully silent) tears. I do recall that the sermon seemed to be directed personally at me... obviously it wasn't, no priest would do such a thing to a penitent, but when I came to look back at the Mass readings, I realised that the Gospel was on the theme of repentance: There is more rejoicing in heaven over one repentent sinner...

...It's nice to think you've been the cause of a major party!!

Pastures New

I have been neglecting my blog over the past couple of weeks. I started a new job at the beginning of September and the first week was totally manic: confusion over subjects, timetables, rooms, resources, plus the added stress of trying to figure out a new building layout and new staff meant that I have had little time to think let alone blog. Things were only made worse when I saw what I would actually be teaching - Philosophy of Religion, General RE, Psychology and Biology, plus I'm a Personal Tutor (to about 20 students)...

The students finally started lessons on Monday morning, and I have begun to feel more settled as a result - put me in front of a class, and I can't help it: a captive audience brings out the exhibitionist in me! Even so, getting the hang of my timetable is going to be tricky.

So the increased workload as I get to grips with all the different exam board requirements will restrict the time I have available for blogging, and my posts will be fairly erratic for some time to come. Spare a prayer for me (and my unfortunate students) as we start the new academic year!

Bavarian Crop Circles

I've been rather preoccupied in the past week or two. I will be posting again shortly. In the meantime, I thought I'd share the following LINK for a bit of amusement!

Advice to Students (And All of Us)

I came across the following post giving advice to Catholic students about to leave for University from Paulinus at +In Hoc Signo Vinces+

He had found it in the Catholic Soldier's Prayerbook (1942) - I found it very moving, but I don't think it needs to be restricted to students and soldiers... I think all of us would do well to keep it in mind. Temptation is not a sin, but in the modern rush to prevent people from getting over-scrupulous, the duty to avoid occasions of sin (where we know we will be tempted) is no longer preached about as often as it should be...

...that's as "theological" as I get, being a laywoman who knows her place! So I guess that's a challenge to all you priests out there to get into the pulpit with some hard-hitting sermons ("homilies" sounds so wishy-washy!!)

"Remember that no amount of prayers will keep you from sin unless you do your part and keep out of temptation. St Paul warns us that Faith without good works is dead. He also tells us that provided temptation is not of our making God will surely give us the grace to master it. Don’t weaken yourself by thinking that you are certain to fall. That is fifth column work against yourself. On the other hand don’t presume; don’t put yourself in danger. He that loveth the danger shall surely perish in the danger."

And a line which hit home hard:

"At heart Pontius Pilate was not a bad man."

BTW, before anyone gets all upset about the idea of a woman knowing her place, there are one or two great women saints of the Church who knew their place too... St Teresa of Avila and St Catherine of Sienna spring immediately to mind (and they were not to be messed with!) I'm no saint, but I like their attitude ! So, Fr Tim, Fr Nicholas, Fr John and Fr Stephanos - consider yourselves "tagged"... I shall look forward to reading the sermons once they've been blogged!

New Disorder Diagnosed

Curt Jester has highlighted a real breakthrough in medical science. Apparently there is a disorder, hitherto undiagnosed, which is similar to colour-blindness and which impairs a person's ability to see rubrics in the Roman Missal, and thus affecting their ability to "say the black, do the red."

Luckily, help is at hand. Click HERE for details of treatment programmes being introduced at a centre near you.

Unfortunately, it would appear that the condition is irreversible in Liturgists. Psychological investigation reveals that,

"For some reason all liturgist given an ink blot test saw liturgical dancers in every pattern. They also had the tendency to move about the furniture in the psychologist's office for no discernable reason."

Variation on a Blonde Joke

I used to send these things out by email (if they made me laugh) but a friend pointed out that really, if I thought they were funny enough, I should put them on the blog and see who bothered to read them rather than adding to voluminous quantities of junk mail... especially since many of them seem to have the "send this to five people and see what happens, you'll have a nice surprise please don't break the chain" line added - which only gets up my nose, and I often delete those ones straight off...

I heard this one as a blonde joke, but was told it shortly after in another version, and it sounded even better, so here goes...

A well-dressed man drives up to a field, gets out and walks over to speak to the farmer. "Excuse me," he said, "but if I can tell you the size of your farm, the type of crops you have in the top field and their productivity, can I have one of your sheep?"

The farmer agrees, so the man continues: "Well, your farm is 150 hectares, the top field contains winter wheat and you're currently at a yield of 75%."

The farmer reluctantly concedes that the information is correct, and invites him to help himself to a sheep. The man picks one up, and starts to walk off.

The farmer stops him, and suggests another wager. "I bet you're one of those hot-shot consultants," he says. "Why yes," replies the man, "But how did you know?"

"Well," replies the farmer, "You turn up uninvited, demand payment for giving me information which I already know, and you don't know the first thing about the subject you're spouting on about...."

"...so can I now please have my sheepdog back!"

Blogging Blues

I was obviously getting too confident, and so it was time for another spanner in the works. I had switched to Beta Blogger, and tried to update my template. Oh dear... big mistake. For some reason the oh-so-easy-to-manage-and rearrange layouts wouldn't allow themselves to be managed and rearranged. I couldn't click and drag and kept getting weird and indecipherable error messages whenever I tried to edit anything...

...even more worryingly, the page elements on the layout then appeared to disappear when I tried to edit them...

...luckily I decided to have a look at the html code (even though this is probably more inaccessible to me than Ancient Greek - or modern Greek for that matter!) and, after I recovered from the first message (ie. html editing is not available, yet) I spotted a button which seemed to promise to revert to the old layout. Phew.

...mind you, I'm such an erratic blogger that most of you probably didn't even notice...

The Little Book of Calm for Cats

A good friend of mine sent me The Little Book of Calm for Cats by Stuart & Linda MacFarlane which she'd spotted in a hospice book sale. It's fun, and everyone who has ever owned a cat will be able to recognise their moggy, so I thought I'd share a few quotes:

"From time to time engage in the seemingly trivial pursuit of frantically
chasing a ball of wool. This frivolous activity will absorb all your
negative energy and fill you with a wonderful sense of inner peace."

Hmmn. Sounds a bit too close to 'liturgical' dance for my liking!

"Practise the art of Feng Shui - rearrange your human's possessions to enhance your mood. Knock car keys and jewellery onto the floor, preferably into a dark corner out of sight, then stretch out and let your mind relax in a clutter-free environment."

Yup. Sylvester's read that bit and taken it to heart. And finally:

"Climb into a box - any box. Inside you will discover a mystical
place where you can escape from all the stresses and strains of the
world."

Thanks for Prayers

A while back I mentioned that my sister was having a few problems with her pregnancy, and I asked for prayers for her and her unborn baby.

Deo gratias - it seems to have paid off ! The bleeding she was experiencing has stopped, and the baby appears to be doing well. Martina has to take things easy, but, God willing, I shall be an Aunt in early January (or thereabouts... )