Amusing Decisions...

Being somewhat short on inspiration, I have unashamedly nicked this from the Ironic Catholic.

A guy goes into a restaurant and is greeted by the hostess, who asks: "Smoking or non-smoking?"” "Non-smoking," he replies.

He is seated and the waiter comes over to his table to take his drink order. "I’ll have a Coke," he states. The waiter says: "Diet or Regular?" "Um, regular." "Caffeine or caffeine-free?" "Uh, with caffeine."

The drink is brought to his table and the guy orders his food. The waiter asks what kind of dressing on the salad, "Italian, French, Thousand Island, raspberry vinaigrette?" He says: "Italian," and the waiter immediately comes back with "regular Italian or fat-free?" "Regular," says the man, with a hint of impatience in his voice.

And it goes on, with the steak order: "how do you want that prepared, rare, medium rare, medium, medium well, or well done?" and "how do you want your vegetables: raw, steamed, baked, boiled, blanched or fried?" and "how would you like your potatoes: baked, French fried, or mashed?"

Finally, the poor man has had enough and looks up to heaven and shouts: "I can’t TAKE all these choices!" He then turns his prayer to his patron saint saying: "St. Francis, HELP ME — help me with all these decisions!"

At that moment a big voice comes booming down and says: "Assisi, Xavier or De Sales?"

Curiosities Of The Natural World...

I was setting things up for a special evening Mass this evening (in honour of St. Patrick) and, while putting the bell in a suitable spot for the server to ring at the appropriate moments, I spotted what looked like a large, dead spider on the sanctuary step. (Not the one in the picture, I hasten to add... that one was just from Google, for illustrative purposes, but it looked pretty similar...)

I'm not terribly squeamish when it comes to spiders, but I don't particularly want to get up close and personal, and so, putting the bell down carefully beside the spider, I mentally noted that I should get some tissue paper and remove the deceased invertebrate as soon as I had finished setting stuff up.

However, although the spirit was willing, and the flesh wasn't particularly averse to careful arachnid disposal, my brain was absent without official leave, and I completely forgot...

...until the start of Mass. As the server, deacon and celebrant approached the sanctuary, I looked over to where the bell was positioned... and discovered that no spider was anywhere to be seen...

Does anyone know if spiders "play possum"?

Lacking Inspiration...

Again... I know, I know... and no, I'm not threatening to stop blogging (as someone pointed out, I seem to do that quite regularly!) But I'm trying to explain to the few of you who still check in that I've hit another hiatus in my blogging inspiration.

I don't want to blog bad news, but I haven't got any good news to blog at the moment.

No doubt I'll get some inspiration soon. If you are in the mood for some old-fashioned comedy, might I suggest that you wander down The Path Less Taken - Mary's given up watching Fawlty Towers for Lent, but she's been posting the occasional clip for the rest of us...

The Day With Mary Hits Blackfen...

Today we were blessed to have the Day With Mary at Our Lady of the Rosary, Blackfen. It was absolutely wonderful - someone commented on my Facebook wall that it was like a three-day retreat packed into six hours - I think that's a pretty good summary!


We started off with some prayers, the Crowning of the Statue of Our Lady and a procession around the block, with the recitation of the Joyful Mysteries of the Rosary...

Mass was in the Extraordinary Form, with the Franciscan Sisters of the Immaculate chanting the Mass propers. Today was the Feast of St Gregory the Great, the Pope responsible for sending St. Augustine to England.

After Mass, Fr. Tim consecrated the parish to Our Lady's Immaculate Heart...

...and then it was time for lunch, which meant (for me) a beeline for the bookstall. This year, the bookstall was divided into two sections, one at each end of the parish hall, so I hardly knew where to begin...

I bought four books this time - Bethlehem: The Sacred Infancy of Our Most Dear and Blessed Redeemer by Fr. Faber; A Dialogue of Comfort Against Tribulation by St. Thomas More; The Sermons of St. Francis de Sales for Lent and Difficulties in Mental Prayer by Eugene Boylan. That should keep me out of mischief for a while!

Then we were back in the church for Exposition and the Blessed Sacrament procession...

The procession only went round the car park a couple of times rather than right around the block because the first part of the day had over-run somewhat, and we had to get back on schedule...

We prayed the Luminous Mysteries of the Rosary, had a talk by Fr. Tim, prayed the sorrowful Mysteries, then meditated on the Stations of the Cross...

We had a talk from Fr. Agnellus, FI,  and a break for tea (which gave another opportunity to browse the bookstalls), and then we returned to pray the Glorious Mysteries and receive Benediction...

Enrolment into the Brown Scapular very nearly didn't have any takers - those present had obviously been enrolled on previous occasions - but, at the last minute, one woman shyly came forward...

And then, finally, Our Lady's statue was carried out...

...pausing at the back of the church while people waved goodbye, as they do in Fatima...

I always get rather choked up at this - it's such a poignant moment, when we get to show our devotion in such a simple way.

So many people came along, it was truly inspiring, and a great way to start Lent. If you get a chance to attend a Day With Mary, do go along, even if only for part of it. You can read more over at Fr. Tim's blog, and you can see more photos on my Flickr page.